KIDS ARE SO RUTHLESS

BITCHHHHH, WHEN WILL YOUR FAVE EVER GET A MAC CONTRACT/COLLECTION 20 YEARS FROM THE GRAVE? LIKE NOT ONLY DID SHE GIVE US JLO AS A DEPARTING GIFT FOR THE WORLD, SHE’S GIVING US A LIPSTICK LINE NOW. SELENA WAS SITTING AT THE RIGHT HAND OF JESUS LOOKING DOWN ON US AND THE HYPE SURROUNDING KYLIE JENNERS’ LIPS AND WAS LIKE “THEY MUSTVE FORGOTTEN WHO THE TRUE POUTY RED LIPSTICK QUEEN IS?”, CALLED UP MAC AND SEALED THAT DEAL. LIKE THIS WOMAN DOES NOT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT NATURAL ORDER AND THE CONCEPT OF LIFE AND DEATH…SHE IS STILL OUT HERE SLAYING.

February 14th

Haha my pool snack (Taken with Instagram)

#textgram (Taken with Instagram)

Starting off my final day right :) (Taken with Instagram)

“We’ve been waiting for you, Steven.”

AAAAAAAH

“I want to speak to a manager,” the middle-aged woman said in her stern I-used-to-be-a-soccer-mom-ten-years-ago voice, looking down at me over the top of her Gucci reading glasses.

A wicked grin split across my face and the gates of Hell opened up behind me, releasing a gust of hot wind that whipped my apron around my body and forced the woman to shield her face. Demons came forth, dancing around in flames with songs of, “She wants to speak to a manager. Did you hear that? She wants to speak to a manager!” before erupting into earsplitting shrieks of laughter, none louder than my own cackling.

I took in the woman’s look of utter horror before my eyes rolled back into my head and I growled,

“I am the manager.”