Ever Since I Was Little I Knew I Never Wanted Anyone To Turn The Big Light On

how to disappear for a month with no repercussions

anyway. time to be weird about it

*guy with insomnia listening to music* r.e.m....i think id like that very much

can you please shut up im trying to preheat the oven to 350 degrees

You know I'm gonna be honest. I don't think all these apps really need access to my precise location

get you a girl whose "comfort" show is bojack horseman

When you hear a new song on the radio and you’re desperately trying to pick a notable phrase so you can google it later

i have got to get weirder and more obscene

i need a capri sun and then i need to be shot

i'm like a stray dog in a lot of ways but i will not elaborate on that