Uhhh Yeah Can I Start With The House Salad?

dear followers today i give you shitpost. Tomorrow... Who knows.

Rest in peace Tim, you would love modern brainrot memes.

I'm a bit nostalgic rn ✧*+ - ✧*+ - ✧*

LET’S HAVE A CONCLAVE

Big yawn

Remember to keep your core engaged Nikola!

Unfortunately my body doesn’t know the difference between someone not responding to me because they’re busy, and being shot in the chest 27 times in a row

It does get serious

A social gathering of dudes who all have serious Main Character Syndrome, but all are wildly different genres. One of them is the "people don't like me because I'm too smart" Misunderstood Genius who isn't actually particularly smart, just mean. Another one thinks he's wisecracking and clever by just talking like a character in a Marvel movie. Third one thinks he's subtly pulling off a mysterious Film Noir vibe by wearing a fedora and spending most of his time internally narrating, and silently staring at people. The fourth one is a deeply dramatic purple prose self-fashioned Byronic Hero who is unaware that he would be a mildly annoying minor antagonist in a Jane Austen novel at best. The fifth one has gotten his entire personality from shounen anime.

fucking hate texting dracula i'll send him a funny meme and he'll call me to be like "i need to take a SCREAMshot on my HELL phone" like oh my god we get it youre scary

my loves. smushing them together like barbie dolls as we speak