I Swear I’m A Writer!!! Just… A Writer With Zero Motivation, No Focus, And A Plot That Makes No Sense

So plain and simple yet so recognisable and adorable

the night watch and friends

Bad Choice Road

Breaking Bad & Better Call Saul x the “can I copy your homework” meme: my version

"I’ll help you with it!": Walter, Kim, Hank

"Yeah sure": Nacho, Flynn, Huell, Gale

"bold of you to assume I did the homework": Tuco, Todd

"lol nope": Lalo, Hector, Howard, Marie, Victor

"wait we had homework????": Jesse, Saul

*Read 5:55 PM*: Mike, Skyler, Gustavo, Marco, Leonel, Lydia

Bonus: *didn’t even read the message bc the phone burnt his hands & then he burnt the phone*: Chuck

That’s really such a cool idea! But consider: Han does have the Force (he’s definitely not as strong as most Jedi but there’s plenty of hints in the canon that his connection is above average). And while trying to teach Rey by Luke’s notes, he slowly realises that some of this religious nonsense might actually have something to do with reality??? Suddenly something about perception of reality or stuff is starting to make sense??? And of course he hates it so much, he gets angry, he starts actively trying some of the stuff out just to prove to himself that it doesn’t work, but it works??? And now he hates it even more??? He tries to forget all this, get away from it, but once he felt it, there’s no way of unfeeling it. All these little feelings that helped him navigate through the most unnavigable areas of the galaxy turned out to be that stupid religion, and there’s nothing he can do about it. But maybe these monks just found some methods to strengthen those little absolutely-not-some-supernatural-force feelings and made up some kind of universal power just to give them an explanation, the same way any other religion starts. And since these feelings are of absolutely normal nature and are really useful to him, he might as well try out these training techniques. As long as he doesn’t let this religion thing fool him, right? Now, Rey, where were we? Ah yes, energy field. Whatever. You might as well sit down and try to find it, it’s not like we have anything else to do.

Me and my friend had some fun trying to rewrite the sequel trilogy a while ago and I think the best idea we had was Luke dies and Han and Rey get stranded on some nowhere planet where he has to haphazardly attempt to teach her years of jedi training in like a week entirely by reading out of Luke’s notes (somehow even worse than Luke’s extremely DIY training in the OT).

This isn’t at all based on the ‘Han has the force’ theory it’s literally just crabby atheist old man Han Solo and his dead best friend’s religious texts that are totally useless to him vs the world.

i LOVE that, disney needs to get you two rewriting the sequels STAT

(commission info // tip jar!)

*grabbing you by the shoulders and shaking you* don’t EVER say it’s so over. it’s not over. There’s hope. It’s not over for the flowers that get paved over because they grow through the cracks in the concrete, stronger than ever. It’s not over for the moths on a soot-blackened tree because they will grow black wings and evade predators faster than ever. It’s not over for the tree that gets chopped down because it will survive off nutrients from its root neighbors and keep holding on. It’s not over because it’s hard. There’s hope. There’s hope. There’s hope.

No one is doing it like Sybil Ramkin. She's one of the most rich and powerful women in the city. She married a skrunkly little commoner nightwatchman. She raises dragons in her free time. She's canonically both tall and fat. She's a fierce advocate for the oppressed. She created a free hospital. She can fuck you up. She's childhood friends with the tyrant of the city. She is compared to empires and dreadnoughts. Icon.

Discworld is an interesting beast in the age of ACAB. Like, the city watch books are a story about police and the way in which a good police force can help and protect people. Which would make it copoganda. And I'm not going to say that the City Watch books are completely free of copoganda, but they also do something interesting that fairly few stories about heroic police officers do, and I think it has a lot to do with Samuel Vimes. A lot of copoganda stories like, say, Brooklyn 99, are perfectly capable of portraying cops as cruel, bigoted, and greedy, but our central cast of characters are portrayed as good people who want to help their communities. The result is that the bad cops are portrayed as an aberration, while most cops can be assumed to be good people doing a tough job because they want to help protect people from the nebulous evil forces of "Crime". The police are considered to be naturally heroic. Pratchett does something very interesting, which is provide us with Vimes' perspective, and present us with an Unnaturally heroic police force. In Ahnk-Morpork, the natural state of the watch is a gang with extra paperwork. It's the place for people who, at best, just want a steady paycheck and at worst want an excuse to hit people with a truncheon. Rather than be an army defending people from the forces of Crime, the Watch is described as a sort of sleight-of-hand, big burly watchmen in shiny uniforms don't stand around in-case a Crime happens in their vicinity, they stand around to remind people that The Law exists and has teeth. The Watchmen are people, when danger rears it's head, their instinct is to hide and get out of the way. When faced with authority, their instinct is to bow to it out of fear of what it might do to them if they don't. Carrot is a genuine Hero, but his natural heroism is presented as an aberration. Normal Cops don't act like Carrot does. The fact that the Watch ends up acting like a Heroic Police Force is largely due to the leadership of Sam Vimes, but Vimes himself is a microcosm of the Watch. The base state of Sam Vimes would be an alchoholic bully of an officer, one who beats people until they confess to anything because that makes his job easier. Vimes The Hero is a homunculous, an artificial being created by Sam Vimes fighting back all those instincts and FORCING himself to behave as his conscience dictates. Vimes doesn't take bribes or let his officers do the same because, damnit, that sort of thing shouldn't happen, even if doing so would make things a lot easier. Vimes doesn't run towards sounds of screaming because he WANTS to, he forces himself to do so because somebody needs to. It's best summed up in Thud “Quis custodiet ipsos custodes? Your Grace.” “I know that one,” said Vimes. “Who watches the watchmen? Me, Mr. Pessimal.” “Ah, but who watches you, Your Grace?” said the inspector with a brief little smile. “I do that, too. All the time,” said Vimes. “Believe me.”

In the hands of another writer, or another series, this exchange would be weirdly dismissive. To whom should the police be accountable to? Themselves, shut up and trust us. But from Vimes, it's a different story. Vimes DOES constantly watch himself, and he doesn't trust that bastard, he's known him his entire life. The Heroic Police are not a natural state, they're an ideal, and ahnk-morpork only gets anywhere close. Vimes is constantly struggling against his own instincts to take shortcuts, to let things slide, but he forces himself to live up to that ideal and the Watch follows his example. Discworld doesn't propose any solutions to the problems with policing in the real world. We don't have a Sam Vimes to run the NYPD and force them to behave. We don't have a Carrot Ironfounderson. But it's at least a story about detectives and police that I can read without feeling like I'm being sold propaganda about the Thin Blue Line.

Really, what is canon? There’s just a bunch of movies, shows, books, comics and games of different levels of coolness and some of them contradict each other and sometimes it’s two equally cool versions that contradict each other, so what’s the point of all this? There can be more than one well-written, logical, satisfying story about the same characters in the same universe, and they’re all there for us to enjoy.

Arguments about what's canon and what's not in SW fandom are kinda pointless, I know for a fact that every fan has their personal frankensteined version of canon based on what's best for their own blorbos. I love picking up a random licensed book to sneer at half of its ideas and then steal the rest. Some shows and books and comics and whole movies are simply not incorporated into my belief system. That's how we roll

people will be like “don’t worry it’s all in your head!” like babe… yes… that’s the problem… how do i get it out of there…

"it's all in your head" correct! unfortunately I am also in there