Reblog To Make It Die Faster

wanna hear a wild story? my brother’s history professor is closing in on 80 and basically lives at the university. one night my brother visited him for a meeting, and it came up that my brother was gonna be performing as a court jester at the castle the following day. and his professor busts out: “ah, that reminds me of my youth!”

he then proceeded to tell the tale of when he and his friends went backpacking to greece back in their early 20s. then one day they found themselves completely penniless. so they decided that the only reasonable thing to do was to set up acrobatic shows in skimpy outfits on the beach at day, and then drink up the money at night.

after a week or so they gained some traction, and a gang of young greek men walked up to them like “hey y’all are cool as hell, can we join y’all for drinks tonight?” and my brother’s professor was like “of course! y’all have to wear these revealing outfits and do somersaults with us tho” and the greek gang said “sounds dope. y’all are invited to live with us for however long y’all want.”

anyhow, they proceeded to live like this for the better part of 3 months, doing shows, drinking, and sleeping at the greek gang’s apartment. but after a while they decided enough was enough, and said thank you for everything, but we’re going back to sweden now. and the greeks said “sure! love y’all have a safe trip xx”

half a year later my brother’s professor gets contacted by the greek police. they ask him about the months they spent in greece, and then informs him that their greek friends have been convicted of serial homicide and robbery. that the group of young greek men had joined up with several tourist groups for several years “for drinks”, and then killed and robbed them all, terrorising the beach city for several years. with one exception, of course, because “this one group of swedish acrobats in slutty strongman suits were just ‘so damn nice’”.

and that’s the story of how one swedish history university professor survived sharing a flat with a group of serial killers for several months by performing acrobatics in slutty outfits on the beach. moral of the story? be kind of heart, thicc of ass.

Welp, I don’t know about you guys but I’m depression.

look, I know I've talked about this essay (?) before but like,

If you ever needed a good demonstration of the quote "Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic", have I got an exercise for you.

Somebody made a small article explaining the basics of atomic theory but it's written in Anglish. Anglish is basically a made-up version of English where they remove any elements (words, prefixes, etc) that were originally borrowed from romance languages like french and latin, as well as greek and other foreign loanwords, keeping only those of germanic origin.

What happens is an english which is for the most part intelligible, but since a lot everyday english, and especially the scientific vocabulary, has has heavy latin and greek influence, they have to make up new words from the existing germanic-english vocabulary. For me it kind of reads super viking-ey.

Anyway when you read this article on atomic theory, in Anglish called Uncleftish Beholding, you get this text which kind of reads like a fantasy novel. Like in my mind it feels like it recontextualizes advanced scientific concepts to explain it to a viking audience from ancient times.

Even though you're familiar with the scientific ideas, because it bypasses the normal language we use for these concepts, you get a chance to examine these ideas as if you were a visitor from another civilization - and guess what, it does feel like it's about magic. It has a mythical quality to it, like it feels like a book about magic written during viking times. For me this has the same vibe as reading deep magic lore from a Robert Jordan book.

reblog if you’ve read fanfictions that are more professional, better written than some actual novels. I’m trying to see something

Character flaws

It's been a while since I wrote this post, so I'm a bit lazy to retype it.

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The nerd I reblogged this from has a quality blog and I recommend you all follow them

Do you ever feel like you want to melt into a song? The notes are soothing and the words carry you into another world. One entirely new and foreign. It’s such a feeling of euphoria that you could just… melt.

hey my first book, scars & souvenirs, is on sale for 99¢ (usd) until the 21st

https://books.finleykjames.com/scars

Every time I read advice on how to properly write guns, I am once again reminded that I’ll never be able to have a character use two guns at once 😭

Chaotic Writing Tips Regarding Guns

Guns are always always written wrong because, well, they’re guns, and most people don’t actually get to shoot regularly to figure out how to write them.

So. Here’s some chaotic gun facts.

1. When a gun fires, it is SO HOT. IT WILL BURN YOU. EVERYTHING ABOUT IT will burn you. The bullet, the casing, the barrel. It’s fricking hot.

2. You don’t pull the trigger, you squeeze it.

3. You have to be relaxed or your aim will suffer. Tense + Kick = hot casing hitting you in the face and also you were afraid of the kick and adjusted before you even pulled the trigger and oops now you missed and ow that casing hit your face AND IT HURT

4. Every gun fires differently. You need years of practice with YOUR GUN to be comfortable with it, and someone else shooting with your gun will throw off their aim UNLESS they have practiced for YEARS WITH all the guns.

5. It is kind of as simple as point and shoot but it is also so much not

6. GUNS ARE SO LOUD. So loud. even with ear protection they are so so so loud.

7. It looks cool to dual wield pistols but that is NOT a beginner thing please go try it with BB Guns or something first aiming would be so so so hard

8. Most handguns only have around 15 rounds and if they jam you’re in trouble and unjamming a gun is such a problem and not that easy and it takes a heck of a lot of strength to actually even load a gun

9. Seriously, look up how to load a magazine. The grip strength and thumb strength you’ll need are crazy.

10. Ammo is expensive, and each type of gun takes a different kind of ammo/has a different kind of bullet

11. THERE ARE SO MANY KINDS OF BULLETS dang son and each one does a different thing hollow point vs buck shot they’re very different. So very very different.

12. I mentioned you’d get burned by guns because of how hot they are but like, you’ll also get burned by the bullet if you get shot??? Like that will hurt in more ways than one it’s more than just piercing damage okay?

13. Guns are heavy. Hand guns are heavy. Rifles are even heavier. I haven’t shot a shotgun but I imagine it’s as heavy at least as a rifle. Any character you have constantly carrying guns or using them should also be regularly at the gym lifting weights

Anyway.

Guns are often written incorrectly.

I’m sure there’s more and I am by no means a gun expert, so double check any and all of this please.

But in case you were wondering, here are some chaotic gun facts to help you write your crime/suspense stories.