jalapeno785 - I exist

jalapeno785

I exist

idk what im doing here

64 posts

Latest Posts by jalapeno785

jalapeno785
4 months ago

I hate beatboxing so much. I FUCKING HATE IT. If you make dubstep sounds with your mouth then I personally think we should be allowed to hit you with a really, really heavy truck.

jalapeno785
8 months ago

If your apology involves degrading yourself, calling yourself shit or insulting yourself, its not an apology, try again.


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jalapeno785
8 months ago
Please Enjoy A Goofy Little Comic I Made Last Year That Became Something I'm Quite Proud Of! A Combination
Please Enjoy A Goofy Little Comic I Made Last Year That Became Something I'm Quite Proud Of! A Combination
Please Enjoy A Goofy Little Comic I Made Last Year That Became Something I'm Quite Proud Of! A Combination
Please Enjoy A Goofy Little Comic I Made Last Year That Became Something I'm Quite Proud Of! A Combination
Please Enjoy A Goofy Little Comic I Made Last Year That Became Something I'm Quite Proud Of! A Combination
Please Enjoy A Goofy Little Comic I Made Last Year That Became Something I'm Quite Proud Of! A Combination

Please enjoy a goofy little comic I made last year that became something I'm quite proud of! A combination of Wallace and Gromit and the hit webcomic Kill Six Billion Demons- Kill Six Billion Gromits!

EDIT: This post continues to blow up every so often so I'm dropping my commission info down here at the bottom- if you liked this comic, get in touch and you can get your own weird little comic or illustration!

My commission prices:
Line Art: £50
Flat Colours: £80
Painted: £120
Comic work: Starts at £100 per page for linework
Tokens/Icons: £30 for painted, £20 for flat colours
Extra characters are +20% each
Backgrounds are +20%
The first revision after the sketch phase is free, then after that they're an extra 5% each

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jalapeno785
8 months ago

You became a “supervillain”, not out of any particular desire to do evil deeds or take over the world or whatever, but just because your friend is a somewhat underpowered superhero, and you wanted to make sure they had a “nemesis” who wouldn’t actually hurt them.


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jalapeno785
8 months ago

What are some chronic illnesses that can only occur in a fantasy setting?

jalapeno785
8 months ago
jalapeno785
8 months ago

You will not use AI to get ideas for your story. You will lie on the floor and have wretched visions like god intended

jalapeno785
9 months ago

im gonna be real guys i am not exhibiting mentally healthy behaviors


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jalapeno785
9 months ago

Please don't use the Patreon app on any iPhone. Apple is charging Patreon users an additional 30% fee.

Patreon is the main source of income for many creators and not everyone can afford an extra 30% on top of what they're already paying.

This is 100% corporate greed and it hurts all of us. If you can avoid using the iPhone Patreon please do so.


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jalapeno785
9 months ago

I'm trying to prove a point to my brain: Reblog if you think fanfiction does not need sex to be good.

There is a trend I’ve noticed that smut fics tend to be much more popular than anything else and honestly I just want to have something to look at to remind myself and that writing doesn’t have to have sex to be worth putting out into the community.

jalapeno785
9 months ago

Through a series of events you find out that your party members have all been replaced by a mimic, a skinwalker, a changeling, and a shapeshifter. You don’t bring up that you know this however as they’re a lot nicer and more efficient then the ones they replaced.


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jalapeno785
1 year ago

Do you know anything i can donate to for palestine that's not the gofundmes because the idea of having to choose who needs my money more is just. scary to me they all need it 3: maybe there's a thing that splits/distributes money evenly???? idk but help would be appreciated

Gazafunds actually deals with this anxiety and makes a decision for you if you want. Their home page has a spotlighted fundraiser and the code consider things like how close the gfm is to finishing, when the most recent donation is, etc. So it's randomized to help as many people as possible.

gazafunds.com

There's also @helpgazachildren which if you donate, you can help multiple people at once since it's a whole mutual aid fund, or at least close to it. Hussam distributes money to people who need it when he's asked.

jalapeno785
1 year ago
jalapeno785 - I exist
jalapeno785
1 year ago

Pro-writing tip: if your story doesn't need a number, don't put a fucking number in it.

Nothing, I mean nothing, activates reader pedantry like a number.

I have seen it a thousand times in writing workshops. People just can't resist nitpicking a number. For example, "This scifi story takes place 200 years in the future and they have faster than light travel because it's plot convenient," will immediately drag every armchair scientist out of the woodwork to say why there's no way that technology would exist in only 200 years.

Dates, ages, math, spans of time, I don't know what it is but the second a specific number shows up, your reader is thinking, and they're thinking critically but it's about whether that information is correct. They are now doing the math and have gone off drawing conclusions and getting distracted from your story or worse, putting it down entirely because umm, that sword could not have existed in that Medieval year, or this character couldn't be this old because it means they were an infant when this other story event happened that they're supposed to know about, or these two events now overlap in the timeline, or... etc etc etc.

Unless you are 1000% certain that a specific number is adding to your narrative, and you know rock-solid, backwards and forwards that the information attached to that number is correct and consistent throughout the entire story, do yourself a favor, and don't bring that evil down upon your head.

jalapeno785
1 year ago

glad that im not popular enough to have an evil shadow version of my blog that exists just to make contradictions on my posts


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jalapeno785
1 year ago

actually though why do people rec ghost trick like "just play it" instead of spreading the information that you have two buttons and they are "ghost" and "trick"


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jalapeno785
1 year ago
Scissor Wizard And Paper Wizard

Scissor Wizard and Paper Wizard

It’s probably fine to leave them alone together.


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jalapeno785
1 year ago
jalapeno785 - I exist
jalapeno785
1 year ago

Why did you give the last of your food to that poorly disguised mimic? You were finally at peace with letting go, but now this odd thing won’t leave you alone and is even turning itself into various items in an attempt to aid you.


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jalapeno785
1 year ago

ok i keep seeing the “if this gets to 5K” trend on here and i thought i would give it a try

if this gets to 5K notes i’ll start reading again

if this get to 6K notes i’ll actually try in school

and finally

if this gets to 10K notes i’ll talk to my crush

BEFORE FEBRUARY!!!

good luck one and all


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jalapeno785
1 year ago

Good news, fellow artists! Nightshade has finally been released by the UChicago team! If you aren't aware of what Nightshade is, it's a tool that helps poison AI datasets so that the model "sees" something different from what an image actually depicts. It's the same team that released Glaze, which helps protect art against style mimicry (aka those finetuned models that try to rip off a specific artist). As they show in their paper, even a hundred poisoned concepts make a huge difference.

Good News, Fellow Artists! Nightshade Has Finally Been Released By The UChicago Team! If You Aren't Aware
Good News, Fellow Artists! Nightshade Has Finally Been Released By The UChicago Team! If You Aren't Aware
Good News, Fellow Artists! Nightshade Has Finally Been Released By The UChicago Team! If You Aren't Aware
Good News, Fellow Artists! Nightshade Has Finally Been Released By The UChicago Team! If You Aren't Aware

(Reminder that glazing your art is more important than nighshading it, as they mention in their tweets above, so when you're uploading your art, try to glaze it at the very least.)


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jalapeno785
1 year ago
jalapeno785 - I exist
jalapeno785
1 year ago

The best piece of advice I ever got was not meant as advice, but as an edict. If I was going to threaten people as a joke, it had to be so far out of proportion with what happened that it would be obvious I was joking. This changed how I expressed frustration with others. It then changed how I expressed frustration with myself.

Not “I’m going to hit you” but “I am going to buy a tuna sub from the gas station and hide it under the seat of your car”

Not “I’m going to kill myself” but “I am going to walk into the desert and let the scarabs take me”

The other side then happened. When I mess something up, instead of saying it’s bad and perpetuating negative thoughts, swing hard the other way.

Not “this art is terrible” but “this shall be framed and mounted on the wall in my museum exhibition as testament to the suffering I had to overcome”

Have been doing this since high school. It was my drama teacher who asked me to please stop scaring the actors. The other half of the edict was that I had to say it in a polite tone, and end it with either please or thank you.

Life changing. 10/10 Mr Muëller. Highly reccomend.

jalapeno785
1 year ago

hold up im reading more about the lionfish thing and this one island in Honduras has had such a huge problem with lionfish that the measures they have taken include

• getting special exemption from the Honduran government to allow divers access to harpoons and spears which are otherwise illegal in fishing

• public campaign to teach people how to prepare and eat lionfish (apparently they are very tasty once the poisonous spines are removed) (but watch out)

• holding lionfish combination hunting competition and cookout (reportedly they killed and cooked 1,700 in a day) (someone killed 60 of them with a rubber band spear gun???)

• most recently and apparently out of desperation, the divers in charge of culling the lionfish in the Roatan Marine Park just started. feeding the lionfish they killed to sharks. bc what else are you gonna do with it

• the sharks don’t seem to notice or be affected by the poison and begin hanging out with the divers

• the sharks then were seen hunting and killing the lionfish on their own

like this is nuts to me sorry. the sharks just had to be shown “hey this is food, did you know?? you can eat these!! here try one!!” we are possibly altering an entire foodchain bc we like feeding the big ocean wolves

jalapeno785
1 year ago

ok but if bruce wayne somehow came upon zuko fresh out of banishment he would lose his mind.

black hair? check. bad parent(s)? check. trauma? double check.

bruce: how’d you get your scar?

zuko: my dad got mad at me for saying that killing people is wrong so he lit my face on fire and banished me.

bruce, vibrating with excitement, already pulling adoption papers from his utilility: that’s terrible. how do you feel about capes.

jalapeno785
1 year ago

Reblog for larger sample size whatever

jalapeno785
1 year ago

what day is it

jalapeno785
1 year ago

sick of hearing about "healing crystals" that "cleanse your mind and body of negative energy" i want to know which rocks can hurt you and fuck up your vibe so bad

jalapeno785
1 year ago

did I ever mention that I know someone whose family owned a zombie dog because that’s some real shit that I get to delight with at parties


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jalapeno785
1 year ago
jalapeno785 - I exist
jalapeno785 - I exist
jalapeno785 - I exist
jalapeno785 - I exist
jalapeno785 - I exist
jalapeno785 - I exist
jalapeno785 - I exist
jalapeno785 - I exist
jalapeno785 - I exist
jalapeno785 - I exist
jalapeno785 - I exist
jalapeno785 - I exist
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