Jackofsometrades - Jack

Okay fine! *polys your Spider people*

Hobie, Gwen, Miles, and Pavitr are in a polygamous relationship now and they are all happy together and nobody can stop me

I saw this and I thought it would be funny that every time he would wake up, Wally would just have cake frosting smothered all over himself in the morning

[Wally selecting a new 'pillow' for the night to help him get those sweet dreams]

Clark groggily blinked his eyes open. Something seemed off. His ceiling appeared unusually distant, and its familiar features seemed altered. His gaze shifted to a peculiar sight—a bat was perched on the ceiling. Bats in his bedroom? Bewildered, he turned his head, only to discover a slumbering figure beside him, resembling a Calvin Klein model.

Panic surged within him. Had he followed someone home from the bar last night? What had possessed him? And what would his children think?

The man stirred and opened his eyes. Clark launched into a flurry of apologies, admitting he had never been so intoxicated and couldn't recall anything from the previous night. The man looked at him with bleary eyes.

“Relax, Superman. Your virtue is intact.”

“What happened?” Clark realized he must have revealed his secret identity to a complete stranger.

“I brought you to my med bay and extracted the kryptonite from your chest, but you were shivering and dragged me into bed with you. You said you needed to protect me from the cold,” the man explained, slipping on his pants. “Since escaping your grasp was nearly impossible, I decided to make myself comfortable and settle in for the night.”

The events of the past week flooded Clark’s mind, and the man’s identity became clear. “Oh! I’m so sorry, that was presumptuous of me. Umm, I also want to apologize for trying to attack you yesterday when you found me, Batman.”

“What does presumptuous mean?” Someone mumbled nearby, but was quickly hushed by another person.

“Call me Bruce.” Bruce yawned, rising to his feet. “Don’t fret. I did use your son as bait, after all. And consider yourself lucky, I don’t usually sleep with someone on the first date.”

Clark blushed and fidgeted nervously. “I’ll take responsibility for my actions.”

Bruce smirked. “Moving a little fast, aren’t we? Are you sure you want to be taking responsibility for me and my eight kids?”

“E-Eight kids?”

“Yes, you can start by taking one off my hands. I recommend Damian.”

“You can’t send me away! Alfred would never allow it!” Damian protested from under the bed.

“We can play with my new Xbox! Dad just got it for me for my birthday.” Jon chimed in.

Bruce bent down to address the two kids huddled underneath. “I won’t, provided you stop eavesdropping on private conversations.”

Superbat Family Fics

Roachin'

That Wasn’t Very Nice….

why is hideki naganuma insane. who is teaching a middle aged japanese man to say shit like this

They are the best of friends.

DM: [Describing a Mindflayer cult.*]

Warlock: They're scientologists?

DM: Now, now don't insult the Mindflayers like that.

Miles: Ugh, crushes are so dumb.

Hobie: I know, whenever I'm near the person I like I turn pink.

Miles: But you're always turning pink?

Hobie: ...

Hobie: Yeah, don't think about that too hard, mate.

I really like them together they are very sweet boys