Don't Try It. I Make Traps That Kill People For A Living

There is a spikey thing on his boot!

Awkward Ardyn

Nero: I’m trying to find a good song for Vergil’s ringtone when he calls me so I can know it’s him.

Dante: *mutteres* “Fuck you” comes to mind

Lucy: Give it up. I have Tiger kitty’s heart.

Akutagawa: You may have his heart but I have the weretiger’s leg.

Atsushi: Oh come on! Again?!

Dia has a soul that hangs around her named Celestine. She knows about Ardyn but won't tell anyone. Celisms

Tredd: *shows Dia a dick pic* Like what you see babe?

Cel: tell him it's too small and to zoom in.

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Ardyn: It's such a pleasure to see you again my dear Diana

Cel: This is why you're still single. You have an unhealthy obsession with younger people.

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Cel: While you were passed out drunk, I possessed your body, kissed Ignis, punched Tredd in the throat, told Luche where he can shove his rules, called Cor daddy and bought Gladio a "choking hazard" shirt. That will be arriving in three days. So I hope you learned your lesson about not over doing it at a social event. By the way Cor has been calling you for thirty minutes now.

Dazai: Thanks for the Valentine’s Day gift Chuuya!

Chuuya: I didn’t give you shit!

Dazai: What’s this then? *holds up knife*

Chuuya: I stabbed you! Why did you take it out!?

Dazai: Oh you Casanova you.

Chuuya: You’re delusional from blood loss or something!?

Ardyn no

This post gives you +500 to Christmas mood 😊😊

yt: junskitchen 🌸

Why Ardyn has banned Alice from drinking.

Ardyn: Alice its late, come home.

Alice: f*** off I'm fine.

Ardyn: I just watched you walk into a light post.

Alice: You can't see me.

Ardyn: I'm right next to you

Alice: liar.

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Alice: (texts) I found your family!

Ardyn: (texts) please don't tell me you dug up another grave....

Alice: (sends him a picture of a bunch of pigs)

Ardyn: (texts) where are you?!

Alice: (texts) wif yor famly

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Should I do a headcanon of Sigma, Fyodor, and Nikolai as cats?

Noctis, Prompto, Gladio and Ignis: *playing never have I ever*

Noctis: never have I ever cried myself to sleep

Prompto: *takes a sip of his drink*

Ignis: never have I ever had an anxiety attack in public because I remembered my past

Prompto: *takes another sip*

Gladio: never have I ever cause more than one therapist to become depressed.

Prompto: *downs his drink*

Noctis: *whispers* I think we need to change it up *out loud* Never have I ever had a Nightmare with Ardyn becoming my spouse.

Prompto: *grabs Gladio's beer and chugs it*

Ignis: I would suggest a therapist but I guess that would be a bad idea