I Know We’re Both Just Messing Around Pretending To Be Whole But Look At Me. If The Train Was Coming

how come every day lasts ten years but every week lasts 3 seconds but every month lasts either two days or an eternity and then it's a new year and now it's November

I don't know if you've ever noticed this, but first impressions are often entirely wrong.

— Lemony Snicket

*

miranda july / hanif abdurraquib / natalie wee / august rodin / neil hilborn

After work I went to my boyfriend’s mom’s apartment and she had prepared eggplant three different ways and while we were eating it w bread we heard a huge fight happening outside on the next street over so we went on the terrazzo and saw blue flashing lights but couldn’t tell if the vehicle was the ambulance or the carabinieri and I laughed when I realized that everyone else was outside outside on their terraces too and bf’s mom yelled down to her friend one floor below us like “Guilia, ma cosa succede?” Friend was like “Boh” then they talked back and forth while I thought about how it felt like a scene in an old Italian movie where everyone in the small town is watching your business from their windows. It really does happen like that. Then we drank espresso and talked for two hours inside and I lived my evening happily ever after

girls own the void

Annihilation, dir. Alex Garland | Smother, Daughter | Fangirl, Rainbow Rowell | Alice Mao | TAKE A GOOD LOOK: THIS IS THE BLACK HOLE IN THE CENTER OF OUR GALAXY, Michelle Awad | The Very Pulse of the Machine, Love Death + Robots | Audrey Wollen | @inkskinned​ 

Saturday, 27 July 2024

Some nights I think I’m very brave to even have the courage to wake up the next morning

i love you, still, i’m sorry it’s not enough

1. silas denver melvin (@sweatermuppet) // 2. miren asiain lora // 3. nikki giovanni // 4. uma thurman // 5. @postsecret // 6. yves olade // 7. sufjan stevens via @promqueendyke // 8. anonymous response on a uquiz // 9. li-young lee // 10. @lovelornnn // 11. @heavensghost // 12. the avett brothers

i have so much rage in me one day i think i will explode. i dont think i know how to forgive as much as i know how to forget

shaking crying throwing up i will burn the world i will kms

another year is ending and I want you to know that it is okay if you:

have not healed from the things that happened/did not happen from six months ago. just because the year is ending it does not mean your grief is too.

don't have any "fun" NYE plans to ring in the new year. this life is yours to live across days and months and years, and you can celebrate days other than the ones heavily marketed and shoved down your throat to shroud you in severe FOMO.

have no resolutions or goals for 2024 laid out in elaborate lists or shared on social media or with your friends. you are braving through this life trying to do your best every day and hold the fort and so of course you know, deep down you know what is needed from you for you going forward and of course you are going to work in that direction. good luck love.

have not become a "better" version of yourself by any of the tangible or conventional measures. that kind of bettering is mostly to serve others, not yourself.

are not happy with yourself/your life as it is now. you're a work-in-progress, remember? and if you're progressing in a direction you do not like, then it's time to change the blueprints and the strategy.

take time off social media around this time to protect your mental health and whatever little joy you have managed to keep.

don't want to spend too much time reflecting on how this past year went and doing various forms of 2023-wrapped. again, it's your life. you can also revisit this year in memories and pictures and feelings whenever you'd like. it's not like you don't still visit 2012, 2017, and 2022, right?

feel disconnected from your friends, family, lover. I know this is "ideally" a time to be celebrated with your loved ones. but life is not ideal, is it? it's just life. and if right now you are not feeling the love, the joy, or just don't have the headspace or social energy to engage , that's alright.

are finding comfort in simpler things like a TV show from the 90s or that book you first read at sixteen or that slice of strawberry cake or a random post like this you come across.

don't feel hopeful, encouraged, or excited for 2024. given everything that's happened in the last couple of years, on the macro and micro level, it's only natural for you to feel weary as well as wary. when the good things happen, when the healing happens, when things begin working in your favour over time, you will automatically feel all those things. it's okay if until then you choose to be neutral.