21.05.24

17.05.24

The weather is nice again! I'm glad the rain definitely dampened my mood.

I spent almost the entire day in the library- found 'You will beat this essay' written on the cublicle wall, it gave me the motivation I needed to get a big chunk of my Lab reoprt done.

Today I;

Did the introduction of my lab report

Did the methodology of my lab report

Created the Figures for my lab report

Started to contact the study abroad students I will be travelling with

Studied social categorisation, stereotyping and prejudice

Studied intergroup relations and conflict

I went to the library and forgot my tablet, so I had to walk all the way there and alllll the way back.

23.05.24

[Exams 2/4]

My stats test is today, I'm nervous. I haven't left my dorm in days. I have either been revising or sleeping, I'm not feeling great mentally or physically. Talking to my boyfirend helps, but we're mid/long distance and I really am missing him, this is the longest we've been apart since we got together. I should get used to being away from him. If I get onto this study abroad scheme, I won't see him for alost a whole year (I'll go back once for Christmas). Not seeing him is definitley not helping my mood. Luckily, he's super supportive, ang is sending my lots of encouraging messages. He believes in me more than I believe in myself. If he thinks I can do it, I must be able to, I haven't seen him be wrong yet.

My sister is giving birth today, its definitely a distraction. I am going to struggle in the test if I don't hear back from her before I go in. Re-taking these tests means I won't qualify for my study abroad. I know I've done the best I can with revision and studying, and its going to be a big blow to me if my 100% best still isn't enough. Exam anxiety doesn't help either- if I get 100% on a mock, I can expect at least a 10% reduction on the actual exam, which means when I'm hardly passing mocks, I am not confident for the real thing. I have done everything I can, I need to trust that my best is enough.

The baby is born- its healthy and cute. My exam is in an hour, I don't know what to think about it.

Exam is done! I don't think it went too bad but I can't be sure- we'll see.

(No pics I've hardly left my dorm)

14.05.24

Today is a full study day- exams are drawing near and the pressure is definitely getting to me. Spring semester is so much harder. I have no idea how I'm meant to get so much content memorised by the exams.

On top of this, I have my lab report- no matter how much I work on it, I'm not making any progress, I don't know what to do.

Deep breaths

I had a very late start to the day- I forgot to eat yesterday and people were in my kitchen all morning. I didn't want to leave for the library before eating. Very dramatic I know. I think I was just finding any excuse for more time in bed. I'm in the library now, planning on getting alot done. I brought my coat even though it's May, it's spotting outside but my big coat is too much. I'll need a smaller/lighter one for Malaysia. I can't study too long because I have an event tomorrow.

I spent a long time resting- I need to learn to not push myself too hard. I feel like I'm making no progress with revision and really don't want to fail.

24.05.24

[Exams 2/4]

I have an exam tomorrow, at 10am. I need to go over and learn the enitre syllabus inbetween then and now.

I have been cramming all day.

(No pictures)

“I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become.”

— Carl Gustav Jung

16.09.24

It's my birthday! I went to IOI mall, for ice skating. I can go in a wobbly line without holing the rail if I go slow enough, which I can consider a win! I also ate at a Texas Chicken store, it was delicious, not exactly traditional Malaysian food though. There was a celebrity appearance from a Korean drama actor, named Lee Minho, and even though I didn't know who he was, the atmosphere of everyone screaming for him was crazy! We then had a wonder around the stores, and bought some bingsu (Korean shaved frozen milk)- I really liked it, it was my first time trying it.

I'm feeling much better today, I'm glad to get out with people, staying to myself all of the time made me feel lonely, so I need to make an active effort to connecting with people.

~ Juune xx

in a month from now, you'll either have a month of progress, or a month of excuses why you didn't.

15.05.24

Yesterday was less than the best day of my life. I'm struggling with imposter syndrome- the truth is that I have and am doing my best, I am studying all day everyday and it just doesn't seem to be enough. I just can't get the content.

I have my last seminar of first year today, and a networking event for students planning to study abroad (like me). So far I've met two others (both psychology students) they are bith nice, one is making more of an effort to connect than the other. I plan on going on a night out with her after exams- something to look forward to. I always struggle with exam season, but I also always get the gardes I need. I need to trust that what I've done and what I'm doing will be enough. That's easier said than done.

I've been neglecting other responsibilites, so I'm going to make a mission to do one non-academic thing everyday (other than on the days I have actual exams). Today I did my laundry. It doesn't sound like alot but letting these things build up definitely contibutes to my stress levels- coming back to a well-kept dorm should help.

I was the only one to show up to my seminar- me and the semiar leas just had a chat about life and university. We talked about the evils of TikTok and ghosting people- we talked about what we wanted out of life. It was strange to connect with someone who was doing much better than me academically (phd student) but had all the same issues and fears; he got stressed, he procrastinates, he had imposter syndrome, but he did it. Maybe I can too. It was the best seminar I've been to and we didn't even go over the content.

When I left it was raining

The meeting for study abroad students was fun, we went over some of the cultural differences. I found out that the Malaysian legal drinking age is 21, meaning I'll have to stay sober- that's less than ideal. I made a groupchat with alot of them and we stood outside the room afterwards talking, that has to be a good sign. Hopefully they like me because I'm going abroad with them so if they don't it'll be a lonely year. I'm conforted by my general lack of friends now in that reguard. If I can be alone and not lonely in England, I can do it in Malaysia.

I called my family and talked to them for awhile- I half miss them and I'm half glad to be away from the chaos. It's difficult, but I plan on seeing them soon :) I ate loaded potato tots with chicken, chesse, gray, and sauce; it's my new obsession!

I spent the rest of the day studying Social Psychology because that's my first exam :)

20.09.24

Today was really good. My friend from the UK arrived in Malaysia yesterday, so we met to go to the gym together. We mainly just had a look at the equipment, and got an idea of how the gym booking system worked. We then ate together and tried Nasi lemak- I found it too spicy so I manly ate the rice that didn't have the sauce on.

Then, we had a lecture for International students, it was a lot of visa explanations, and we found out that if we overstay our visas, we could get whipped, which was sort of terrifying. Then, we got a bus to the local mall. I finally got a Malaysian SIM card, it took forever to do, but at least it's done now. I also got chicken and fried rice. It was really delicious. I'm really glad my friend made me try it.

Love always,

~June xx

17.09.24

Today was a loong day. I went out for breakfast at a café called 'Fox', I had a honey-glazed chicken sandwich, and a salted caramel latte. The chicken had bones in, which is definitely a cultural difference that I'm not yet used to, but it was delicious. The coffee was really good too. Then, we went into KL and spent the day in the central market, and went shopping with my friends for clothes. There were some really pretty clothes there, I would recommend it! We ate at the Pavilion mall food court, it was okay. Then we explored the KL Chinatown.

Love always,

~June xx