Hello I'm Here To Be Friends!!!!! A!!!!!

I lost my job again.

For the third time in a row. 

so uhh. 

ya know the deal.

My  Kofi and Patreon  are always open and Commissions are always open.

Just… 

(melts into a puddle and dies)

Figuring out every day little ways to improve how I live with unmedicated ADHD. Sometimes they're in the form of sacrifices. Sacrifices of the way I wish I could live, if my brain and I got along.

I move into my home and place my bed right against the center of the back wall. I like it like that, it looks nice. But my brain disagrees, and prefers when we have extra space in the center of the room. It doesn't like that my only sitting spot is my bed, and tells me it's time to go to sleep when I get too comfortable like that. So I move the bed to the side, into the corner, and give myself floor room in the middle to stand, and dance, and pace, and stay upright so my brain remembers to stay awake.

I keep my desk downstairs. It's nice in the living room. I think it will motivate me to get out of my room more, with the sun, and it will hold my projector so I can watch movies on my wall. But my brain disagrees. My room is a quiet, safer place than downstairs. Downstairs where my roommate can find me creating. Downstairs where I risk being watched, or noticed, or pulled into conversation when I need to focus. The space doesn't feel right when I sit there. So I don't, and nothing gets done. I don't write, I don't draw, and I don't watch anything. So I move my desk to my room. It crowds the space, but I'm finally working. I place my keyboard on top, and I'm writing music again. It feels more like an upright this way, and I miss having a real piano. My brain is happy this way.

I take off my shoes at the entrance, to not track dirt in, or mess up my nice white carpets. But I get comfortable, and slow. I stop working, I stop creating. So I keep them on, even though I hate wearing them. I hate wearing socks. I like to have my feet on the ground. But my brain likes the sense of control they give me. You could go at any time. It says. You could get up right now if you need to. You won't have to waste time lacing up your boots when you have to run. Which is a ridiculous notion, really, because nothing's going to happen that I'd need to escape from. It's a safe neighborhood, I don't live with anyone dangerous, I don't have friends who will call me because their in trouble. But it keeps my brain alive anyway. Alive and buzzing and ready to go.

So we don't get along all the time. My brain's very needy, and so very very particular about how we do things. It does not compromise for me. But I'm learning to be okay with that, and learning to go with what it says. It tends to be right, really, even if I don't like it. Even if I wish things were different. But it wants what's best for me, and I forgive it for that. I forgive it for it's weird, particular ways. Hopefully, one day, when I can afford medication, I'll forgive myself too for fighting it for so long.

I don't know if people genuinely aren't putting 2 and 2 together

But when Trump is arguing that native americans "don't have birthright to live here" and is trying to "deport them"

It means we go in the same camps immigrants are going in

Mexico and other countries aren't taking the immigrants the US is "trying" to send back, he's going to kill us

The US is making death camps, and they are taking everyone they find undesirable to send there

Natives count as the undesirables too.

ⓘ You can Bite your Friends.

A quick vid this audio fits them too well

Audio from @/dustymdouglas on TikTok

knux sketch wip thingy that i like but will never finish (oops)

something like this. lmfao

Do not let the TikTok Ban make you forget about Luigi and Gaza

For some reason the versions of this where he gives two salutes is being deleted and replaced with a version with a quick cut to a cheering crowd so I’ll just share it here 🙃

mentally, i am putting sun and moon up on a clothes line to dry