Happy Ides Of March Everyone

YKNOW WHAT FUCK IT. I'm showing up to school in cosplay. Tomorrow its gonna be Balthazar from Sorcerers Apprentice but friday.

Guys.

Guys the thermal dri ll go get it.

- Nori, who's contemplating changing its name for the fifty-fifth time since it started transitioning. Will it be Bain? Fuck around and find out.

Kakyion and Tommy: *makes a tumblr for the system to use*

Kakyion and Tommy: *sets it on the floor.*

Me: hey ur gonnaa use that, yeah?

Kakyion and Tommy:.........

Kakyion and Tommy: *runs.*

- Nori

YESSSSSSSSSS

Hey how the FUCK are you booping each other

Updated! Now with more 80% blorbo!

Woag, artfight card be upon ye.

Shit while i still remember happy birthday Mario :D

Back on my bullshit lmao so have some domestic stuff of this au.

Joy and Jacket often pester each other with their peculiarities.

Joy sometimes just. Shuts off Jacket's tape recorder mid-sentence.

Once Wolf finds out his peculiarity, he begins to utilize it more both in and out of the Safehouse.

If he's feeling particularly affectionate but doesn't want to be human, Hoxton will find himself pinned under a big grey wolf in search of pets.

Hoxton tests his peculiarity on people who piss him off in the Safehouse, which is how he learns to use it better.

Eventually he gets so good at it that he can go out in public without worry, because he can make himself disappear, so to speak.

Jimmy first uses his in front of the crew right after a heist with Dallas, Clover, and Duke. They had all piled into the van after a violent shootout, and the other three were freaking out because Jimmy is actively bleeding out from his stomach.

He just goes "no guys its fine watch this" and splits off himself.

It was fucking digusting. His skin because bubbling and the new clone pretty much crawled out of the dying one (think Adipose from Doctor Who)

The two clones do a little handshake and Jimmy tosses his old body out of the back of the van, effectively slowing down their assailants and freaking out his team members.

Its all the same consciousness, its just like the same player using two controllers.

Bonnie isn't allowed to play any game that has any dice, cards, or any aspect of luck. Heisters banned her from spectating when she used her peculiarity to hinder Clover in a game of Uno.

Speaking of which, Clover lives in a constant state of "i wanna see what these guys are doing cause im nosy and curious" and "fuck these two are dating I might see something icky"

Sokol will just. Sit outside in the winter. Maybe have a drink. Full on T-shirt and biker shorts, just to relax.

The heisters begin to notice a returning Magpie that lingers around the Safehouse when they aren't heisting.

Aldstone's job gets harder, as he has to start handling when people's peculiarities get out of control. (ie, when Sangres almost set the place on fire, or when Joy caused a power outage by trying to see how many electronics they could turn on at once)

People with throw things just to see Dallas catch them.

He's let several things hit him just to be petty.

Chains helps heisters practice boxing and hand-to-hand combat.

Once a week, people will watch him and Jiro spar; Jiro can predict everything but Chains wont fucking go down so its a good passtime.

Jacket talks through the rice cooker occasionally to scare people.

Sydney finds out about her peculiarity and starts to avoid other heisters. She notices that should she start to get a little rowdy or worked up, the people around her do to.

Of course, Clover notices and drags Sydney around to do things anyways, because she's not about to let one of her friends cut themselves off from the gang.

They're a family, after all.

Dallas starts requesting Bain to send the Safehouse plastic eating utensils with their monthly supplies when he notices Rust only eating things he doesn't have to use silverware with.

Jiro notices this and eventually buys Rust a set of bamboo utensils to use so they can cut back on trash.

If Houston needs to cause a distraction, he'll usually turn on some poor passerby's car/motorcycle.

He and Rust have a mutual agreement to not mess with each other's vehicles.

Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children and Payday au, cause I say so.

Bain is an Ymbryne. I know they're all women, but hear me out.

Magdeline Magpie, an Ymbryne trained and set out to create a timeloop. Years and years pass, and eventually, Miss Peregrine finds a rather large magpie on her doorstep. The bird tranforms back into a more human shape, and she almost immediately recognizes the Ymbryne.

"Mag-"

"Its Bain, now, thanks."

Fuck off yes I am indulging in trans Bain I am p r o j e c t i n g

So, Bain had left and originaly intended on creating a timeloop, but eventually forgot about it. However, he begins to realize something.

Every person he finds in the Payday gang is a peculiar, and many of them dont even realize it.

Dallas? Incredible reflexes and reaction speed. He always chalked it up to survival instinct.

Wolf tends to find himself in a more canine body on certain days.

Hoxton can carefully orchestrate and manipulate what people see and how they percieve the world around them.

Chains can take more hits than any normal person should.

Joy can easily manipulate technology (similar to Angel from Borderlands 2).

Duke can turn his skin to stone. Many of his teammates don't notice, but that isn't actually a mask.

Dragan has overwhelming strength.

Sokol can withstand insane cold, and even works better in chilly environments.

Clover can see through other people's eyes. She utilizes this during heists to find out where certain guards are, and if her or her teammates are within line-of-sight.

Bonnie can gently nudge the odds of luck in her own favour. Many times this just makes a coin fall a certain way, or make her opponent throw down rock instead of scissors.

Jiro has full on clairvoyance. He can predict other people's moves to a T on a good day.

Houston finds that he can turn on any motor vehicle, even when that vehicle shouldnt ve able to turn on.

Rust oxidizes and corrodes most things he touches.

Jacket is fueled by blood and can speak through any electronic device.

Wick analyzes things much faster than the average human, and could work out a way to actually kill a man with a singular tic tac if he needed to.

Bodhi can breathe underwater, and takes on a variety of more aquatic forms to suit his needs. Need him to sneak in somewhere? Give him a drainage line that connects, he'll be in before you could say "thanks."

Sydney has the ability to sew chaos wherever she goes.

Jimmy is on crack, he's already peculiar. (Seriously though he, the whole "oh I use science to clone" thing in this au is just a cover, he can basically commit mitosis)

Scarface has the ability to "enthrall" people. Not exactly mind control but he can. "Convince". People to work with/for him.

Sangres can breathe fire. Here me out; alcohol boosts the effect. He learned this after trying to show off at a family gathering, and after a few too many sips of tequila, almost set the house on fire.

Aldstone isn't an Ymbryne but he takes the responsibilties of one. He has a generally calming aura, and can very slightly shift memories a little left from center. He's the one who told Bain about the team's peculiarities.

Vlad and Locke aren't peculiar, but both have deep connections with groups in time loops.

So basically, some big bad or problem rolls around, and Miss Peregrine needs every peculiar she can get for help. Of course, she doesnt exactly want to since a lot of them are kids. Eventually, she catches wind of a particularly interesting group of older peculiars, all banded together but existing without a time loop. She arranges for them to meet, assuming they all already know.

A lot of them are surprised, to say the least. Joy, Sangres, Duke, Jimmy, Bodhi, Clover, and Jiro already knew, but the others are quick to deny it.

I imagine Wolf has a moment of "wait that isnt a hallucination?????" when he realizes he can lowkey shapeshift.

Bain steps in, telling the other Ymbrynes to stay away from his crew, purely because he's seen first-hand what happens to peculiars up against hollows and the like, and this crew /is his family/ and he's not letting anything happen to them.

Angst possibilties? Maybe, maybe.

I've been rotating this au like a microwave in my brain for a while and I wanted to share it.

I feel like each Heister has a weird. Thing they can do. Like they all have a weird quirk.

Like I firmly believe that Sokol can drift in roller skates. I have met very few people who can actually drift in skates and not fall over.

Jacket can take things apart and put them back together with record speed. He definitely has an old samsung phone with no case purely so he can pop the battery back in when he drops it.

You know that cigarette thing from Stardust Crusaders? With the flipping and stuff? Dallas can do that.

Sydney can wrap anything. Like someone's birthday rolls around and someone bought them a funky-shaped gift. Sydney can wrap it.

Houston can drive backwards. By extension, I think he likes the Fast and Furious movies and specifically mods old cars so he can try crazy shit.

Jimmy can open any bottle, and I mean a n y bottle. Sangres can saber any bottle flawlessly and the two bond over it.

Joy can stack cups like a motherfucker. Like full on "she practices every night for four hours" level.

Feel free to add on! I might have more in the future.

@t00thpasteface You. You did this to me. I’m stuck in Marcien hell and it’s your doing.

Happy valetines y'all, might fuck around and love some bitches

I want this sickly white boy tumblr sexy-manned immediately