Joy: I’m So Hungry I Will Eat Literally Anything

Elden Ring literally came out yesterday but Rogier is carrying on Solaire’s legacy of “Undeniably fruity in a way you wont notice if you’re straight but you will notice immediately if you’re not straight.”

My first ever attack in my first ever artfight. I had a lot of fun doing it.

This is Wren Kahrlial Springs, a character owned by @its-spelt-hermaeus-mora

Hope you like it!

I want ppl to know that I didnt headcannon Jimmy as a bdsm bottom then he split like that.

I headcannoned him as a bdsm bottom b e c a u s e he split and has vivid memories of being brutally pegged.

- Nori

Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children and Payday au, cause I say so.

Bain is an Ymbryne. I know they're all women, but hear me out.

Magdeline Magpie, an Ymbryne trained and set out to create a timeloop. Years and years pass, and eventually, Miss Peregrine finds a rather large magpie on her doorstep. The bird tranforms back into a more human shape, and she almost immediately recognizes the Ymbryne.

"Mag-"

"Its Bain, now, thanks."

Fuck off yes I am indulging in trans Bain I am p r o j e c t i n g

So, Bain had left and originaly intended on creating a timeloop, but eventually forgot about it. However, he begins to realize something.

Every person he finds in the Payday gang is a peculiar, and many of them dont even realize it.

Dallas? Incredible reflexes and reaction speed. He always chalked it up to survival instinct.

Wolf tends to find himself in a more canine body on certain days.

Hoxton can carefully orchestrate and manipulate what people see and how they percieve the world around them.

Chains can take more hits than any normal person should.

Joy can easily manipulate technology (similar to Angel from Borderlands 2).

Duke can turn his skin to stone. Many of his teammates don't notice, but that isn't actually a mask.

Dragan has overwhelming strength.

Sokol can withstand insane cold, and even works better in chilly environments.

Clover can see through other people's eyes. She utilizes this during heists to find out where certain guards are, and if her or her teammates are within line-of-sight.

Bonnie can gently nudge the odds of luck in her own favour. Many times this just makes a coin fall a certain way, or make her opponent throw down rock instead of scissors.

Jiro has full on clairvoyance. He can predict other people's moves to a T on a good day.

Houston finds that he can turn on any motor vehicle, even when that vehicle shouldnt ve able to turn on.

Rust oxidizes and corrodes most things he touches.

Jacket is fueled by blood and can speak through any electronic device.

Wick analyzes things much faster than the average human, and could work out a way to actually kill a man with a singular tic tac if he needed to.

Bodhi can breathe underwater, and takes on a variety of more aquatic forms to suit his needs. Need him to sneak in somewhere? Give him a drainage line that connects, he'll be in before you could say "thanks."

Sydney has the ability to sew chaos wherever she goes.

Jimmy is on crack, he's already peculiar. (Seriously though he, the whole "oh I use science to clone" thing in this au is just a cover, he can basically commit mitosis)

Scarface has the ability to "enthrall" people. Not exactly mind control but he can. "Convince". People to work with/for him.

Sangres can breathe fire. Here me out; alcohol boosts the effect. He learned this after trying to show off at a family gathering, and after a few too many sips of tequila, almost set the house on fire.

Aldstone isn't an Ymbryne but he takes the responsibilties of one. He has a generally calming aura, and can very slightly shift memories a little left from center. He's the one who told Bain about the team's peculiarities.

Vlad and Locke aren't peculiar, but both have deep connections with groups in time loops.

So basically, some big bad or problem rolls around, and Miss Peregrine needs every peculiar she can get for help. Of course, she doesnt exactly want to since a lot of them are kids. Eventually, she catches wind of a particularly interesting group of older peculiars, all banded together but existing without a time loop. She arranges for them to meet, assuming they all already know.

A lot of them are surprised, to say the least. Joy, Sangres, Duke, Jimmy, Bodhi, Clover, and Jiro already knew, but the others are quick to deny it.

I imagine Wolf has a moment of "wait that isnt a hallucination?????" when he realizes he can lowkey shapeshift.

Bain steps in, telling the other Ymbrynes to stay away from his crew, purely because he's seen first-hand what happens to peculiars up against hollows and the like, and this crew /is his family/ and he's not letting anything happen to them.

Angst possibilties? Maybe, maybe.

I've been rotating this au like a microwave in my brain for a while and I wanted to share it.

Faster

spinning you

Fucking STOP !!

“I don’t need drugs to be high”

You and me both, bud. When I write crackfic it’s LITERALLY JUST. WHAT COMES UP IN MY HEAD. I’m glad we agree that they’re stinkin dummm

okay okay look, it’s a platonic (platonic) soulmate au. DONTTTTT say anythin /j

I realize this excerpt is a little bit uhhhh, but it started off as a serious concept then I decided to write down whatever my brain gave me XD

I’m also the narrator, so if your mental voice sounds like a gremlin I’m doing my job correctly LOLLL

I’ve been trying to find a way to respond to this but ive been so fucking caught up on “Like how Sonic loses his rings when he gets hit”

You wrote Dallas Himbo content and you deserve an award for it

-Nori

Need to get back into Payday so uhhhh headcanons.

When the Safehouse food supply is restocked its like a fuckin wild card every time. If Chains is restocking it, everything is generally pretty healthy with a few sugary snacks here or there. If Joy is restocking it, these mfs are living off of fruit loops for a month.

Dallas tried dieting when he was younger but he hated every second of it. He's restorted to just eating what he wants and just working out a shit ton.

Nobody has a synced sleep schedule. The only time anyone gets up at the same time is if Dallas decrees it so for a heist.

^^ Hoxton gets up the earliest at 4:30 am, and Joy gets up the latest at anywhere from 9 am to 4 pm. Sometimes Jimmy just doesn't wake up. He could get 40 straight hours of sound REM sleep and still wake up tired.

Joy isn't allowed in the basement without supervision purely because they kept throwing various items at Wolf's head. So far theyve gotten away with cheese, a tortilla, white bread, and suction nerf darts.

^^ In defense, Wolf has taken to putting labels, stickers, and pieces of tape on Joy's jacket when they walk by.

Joy, Jimmy, and Sydney have made a game out of asking the other heisters who they kin.

^^ Most heisters don't know what that means but Wick replied with "Neo from the Matrix" without hesitation.

Clover and Bonnie often get into screaming matches and it worries everyone in the Safehouse; sometimes you'll just start hearing upset Scottish and Irish but when you ask the two about it, they respond with "Oh no I love that girl we're best friends." And it confuses the shit out of everyone.

Jimmy doesnt seem like he can sing but I firmly believe he sounds like Simon Curtis when he does.

Shit while i still remember happy birthday Mario :D

I want this sickly white boy tumblr sexy-manned immediately