The Snoldering Snirker...

wheeling endless plastic

moving forward forever, free of time and tremble and rot

pristine undying locomotion

beep beep bitches

Congratulations, youre body has taken on a new form! Spin this wheel three times. These words describe your new body

me, each and every day with my rat children

🌱 river angel 🌱

new adopt there 🌿

as a person who started going bald many years ago, that is actually an incredibly popular opinion, mostly from people who aren't losing their hair who see me walking down the street. it's usually the first thing they say, as they crawl out from under a dense foliage of brunette or platinum blonde.

"did you know-" they pipe up enthusiastically and without prompt, "-you sure would look great if you shaved your head!"

but i know the truth. i mean, a working set of kidneys on the average American diet is rare enough as it is, but a full head of hair? these freaks want me to shave my head so they can sneak into my bathroom and ransack my leftover hair. assimilating my hair onto their head must not be easy and i suspect necromancy is involved. BUT I KNOW YOUR GAME AND I SHANT BE PLAYING.

i will instead be following in the footsteps of my short, neurotic forefathers.

a lot of people don't seem to want to look like this anymore. but someone needs to be brave enough to keep this rich tradition alive. balding men are an endangered species, threatened by an all-encompasing compulsion of modern men who want to look like Mr. Clean.

listen, i get it. Mr. Clean is hot. but this trend is disastrous for the Men's Hairstyle ecosystem.

be the bald you want to see in the world.

might be an unpopular opinion but i feel like if you're balding enough you should just shave that shit and be completely bald. stop hanging onto whatever you have left it never looks good. own your baldness

"You think you're informed just because you read a bunch of grainy PDFs?"

Yeah man. Reading scholarly works on a topic informs you on that topic. That's how this works.

WOOLLY MICE GIF OFFICIAL REAL

oh you wanna see big rodents??

the pacarena:

the patagonian mara:

the North American beaver:

the nutria:

the african crested porcupine:

there are many such big guys like this

does anyone else ever think about how the capybara has a drastic impact on the average rodent size? like mice, rats, squirrels, etc. are all roughly the same size, but then the capybara comes along and gives the impression to everyone who forgot it that the average rodent is much bigger than a squirrel

a fun fact about springhares: they glow pink under UV light! scientists speculate it's possible predators may be UV-sensitive, but also contend it could be a big evolutionary accident.

(Image credit: Olson et al., doi: 10.1038/s41598-021-83588-0)

Another such rodent that glows for some??? reason is the Southern Flying Squirrel (Glaucomys volans)

(Image credit: Lee H. Rentz)

russian art doll lookin thang