I Don't Know What, Why, How..... I Can't Help It. Maybe It's My Hormones Because I'm Getting Older. Maybe

I don't know what, why, how..... I can't help it. Maybe it's my hormones because I'm getting older. Maybe it's a defense mechanism. Maybe I'm completely sex crazed. A nymphomaniac. I'm not sure. What I *do* know, however, is that I'm always always thinking about sex. Ahhhh but, you see.... Not just any sex. Specifically, I'm always thinking about my husband and another woman. Think of him with several different women ( I do have my favorites and those thoughts make me cum a bit more hard than others.....) ... I think of everything he loves and enjoys doing sexually and getting those needs fulfilled elsewhere. Even just writing this has my pussy soaking wet and absolutely throbbing with anticipation. I could be in any kind of mood. Any time. Any where. With anyone.... And my thoughts shift to him giving and/or receiving pleasure from someone else. I don't care if I've been sobbing my eyes out for days... It doesn't matter..... Leave it be and the thoughts creep in. In fact, I literally cannot cum without thinking about him and usually the orgasms are more intense when these thoughts involve another woman.

The thing is... I know he wants it too. I just know how much he loves pussy. Loves getting his dick sucked. All different women, different looks.sizes, etc.... And he fucking deserves it. 100% this man should have whoever the fuck he wants with absolutely no regard to whether I'd approve of the person or not. I mean who tf am I to stop his ultimate pleasure? The one and only thing I ask is that he tells me about it. That's the only thing the only stipulation between him and his ultimate sexual freedom.. I don't think it's too much to ask. And he can even get the rush or cheating if he gets that pussy first and then tells me that night. I don't care.

I've asked him many times to come clean about the cheating in the past before we were so far into this lifestyle. I found something out the other day.... I won't go into details but I just wanted to say.... Im already to the point where I'm over most of the emotional aspect and on to the sexy part.... As in... I've masurbated thinkin about the situation. I had one of the most intense orgasms of my entire life. If that doesn't show my loyalty to this lifestyle... What can????

I'd love nothing more than a tell-all. Maybe one cheating story a night until he's told them all. I need them in my memory to masturbate to. I'd do absolutely anything for this.

This is legitimately my source of ultimate pleasure and happiness. It's all I think about. I crave it in the worst way.. this is pure, animalistic love at it's core. Blessed.