I Hope That Every Single Person That Uses This Filter, That Your Pillow Is Warm On Both Sides.

the fact i think about matt every second of everyday is quite concerning, but so worth it.

"people who read fanfictions don't have a life."

BITCH YOU GET A LIFE AND STOP WORRYING ABOUT ME

Had a Supernatural relapse sorry everyone

Being a girl is: wanting to go to bed early but deciding to just get on tumblr/wattpad/Ao3 for a little bit and then end up finding a fic series that you really like and read until well past your usual bedtime then keeping on because it’s already past your bedtime. Then being mad when you wake up in the morning because you overslept your timer.

Joan of arc vibe

Guys I can’t hold it in anymore…

masked men are my life line. I’m not joking like it’s actually so bad all keep thinking about is the one scene from dinner in america where he puts the mask on to fuck her and I just can’t AND THEN I find out there’s a tag for this??? Going feral

Drabble for Multi

********

Trying to sneak into your boyfriend's office while making sure none of his coworkers can see you is not the brightest idea you've ever had especially when you're carrying a lunch for him meaning you only have one hand free.

Dr. Gregory House, Many people know him for his sarcastic voice and dominating way especially when it comes to his patients. Most don't seem to know that one of the nurses that he seems to always ignore is his serious girlfriend whom he's been dating for the past 2 years.

That girlfriend has noticed for the past few days that House's sleeping schedule is even more chaotic than usual dark bags have settled beneath his eyes and he's been eating less and less as House desperately tries to figure out what's wrong with one of his newest patients.

Even after cracking the case and starting to fill out the paperwork for the patient, so they can be released back to their family he still hasn't fully settled back to his old sleeping schedule. House seems to be still very stressed out and ignoring his need for food so that's why you've decided to break into his office and force-feed him.

--------------

You really didn't think this through, somehow while arguing with House you ended up on your knees with his cock down your throats.

Your pants are shoved down to your ankles and your hand begins to cramp as you desperately attempted to finger your soaking wet cunt needing to cum.

You watch tears in your eyes and falling down your face, as House groans and throws back his head.

You chock as the fingers he buried into your hair tighten, House is now desperately trying to release his stress into your mouth as his cock pounds its way into your spasming throat. House pulls out slightly to smirk down at your flushed and teary-eyed face letting out a moan as he wraps a hand around his cock as he watches you whine and grind down onto your fingers.

Before he can shove into your mouth again someone knocks at the door causing you both to freeze up.

Before you can truly start panicking house shoves his cock back into his boxers and helps you stand up after you start shifting your pants up before you can even try to start buttoning your pants back on House is soon shoving you beneath his desk and sitting down on his chair.

Gathering the cold food that had been placed on his desk in front of him to pretend that he was eating after opening up the food containers and making sure that you can't be seen beneath his desk and that you're somewhat comfortable he then calls out for the person to enter.

------

(Yeah, I'm not the best but hey I tried and I'm getting better)

{ THIS IS WONDERFUL STOP }

now i need a part four to the agegap au with my girl tashi….. art’s been teasing about it too much i need this problematic threesome BAD

This anon speaks for all the lovely anons in my inbox. ask for a problematic threesome and you shall receive.

god. but this part literally just smut I fear. I’m so sorry!

CW: 18+ NSFW, age gap, daddy kink, mommy kink?? yeah this is the smutty part. just general smut… idk forgive me i won’t ever do it again (just like Coach Pat, this is the last time okay? i swear. trust me.)

Part 1

—-

Art can feel his heart rate pick up again. “N-no,” he stammers out. God. This can’t be real.  He just finished but his cock is already starting to budge again. 

“Do you wanna learn how?”

Art nods vehemently. “Mmhm.” Tashi giggles again. He’s in love with the sound. 

“Maybe daddy can fuck you, while you go down on me. What do you think?”

“Y-yes, yes please,” Art says, maybe a little too eagerly. He shuffles on the sofa feeling himself starting to get hard again. 

“That was easy,” Tashi smirks because she can feel it too. “You really are quick puppy, no wonder daddy likes you so much.”

“God I fucking love you Tashi,” Patrick groans. 

Tashi smiles a little like it’s nothing, but Art can tell that like him, she fucking loves to make Patrick happy. She teases her fingers into Art’s hair, “do you know how to eat out?”

Art rolls his tongue and then shakes his head no. 

He absolutely does know how. Of all the slutty things he likes to do, giving head is his favorite. Girls, boys, he’s not really picky. He could do it for hours and he’s good at it. But he likes this game. He likes how they’re treating him, like he’s this innocent little virgin they get to corrupt. He turns to look at Patrick.  “Can you please show me how?” He asks softly.

Patrick smirks at him like he knows Art is full of shit but he doesn’t call him on it. Instead Art watches as Tashi gets off of him and approaches Patrick. He handles her in a similar way that he does Art. Making her body move so easily, guiding her onto his lap to straddle him on the sofa. Someone so formidable on the court just so pliable for his touch. God. 

Patrick pushes her hoodie up and drags her tiny little shorts halfway down her thighs to reveal pink lacy panties. Sticky wet and see through and so unexpectedly girly. Not that Art knew what to expect. 

“Mm so wet after grinding on 20 year old cock for thirty seconds, huh?” Patrick grins up at her. 

“Shut. up.” she shoves her hand over his face and he rests his head against the sofa and takes hold of her palm, sucking two of her fingers in his mouth. Before he leans forward again, grabbing her by the waist, his hands are so fucking big Arts gonna pass out. Patrick takes her like he’s hungry. Like he wants to devour her. And suddenly Art is squirming. Remembering all the times Patrick had his mouth on him.

“Fuck,” Tashi whispers, eyes sliding shut as Patrick goes to town licking, sucking, tasting her. Moaning, low and soft. Art can feel his own mouth watering, he looks up at Tashi, her cheeks flushed, her hips moving, Loose strands of her curly hair falling into her face. 

They’re both so beautiful watching them touch feels pornographic. Art can’t help himself, he reaches over and runs his fingers over the bulge in Patrick’s shorts and when Patrick groans in response it just gets Art more excited.

“Mm, god,” Tashi gasps. “Pat.” She pulls at his hair to get him to stop. “You’re just s-supposed to show him…” she says, rubbing her eyes, blinking like she’s forgotten where she is. 

Patrick licks his lips as he eases her panties back up properly onto her waist. “Mm, you get it don't you?”

“Mmhm,” Art attempts to put his hand in Patrick’s shorts but Patrick grabs his arm. 

“Relax… don’t be so fucking impatient sweetheart, daddy’s gonna fuck you. I promise.” Patrick says softly.

At that, Art feels himself go a little bit crazy, just a little. 

”Jesus Patrick,” Tashi whispers. Probably feeling the same way.

“Shh i know Tash… i know I’m disgusting… and I also know you’re as fucking gross as I am, my love.” Patrick says and then he’s pulling Art onto his lap, making him sit right where his swollen cock is pressing up against his boxers so Art can feel all of him. “I’m gonna fuck you while you kiss her… okay?” Patrick says in his ear. “And you need to make sure she comes first. Can you do that?”

”mmhm daddy, I can do whatever you want,” Art says, sitting up straight. 

Patrick closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. “I’m gonna fucking regret saying that, huh?” 

“I love how you say it.”

It doesn’t take much time at all for Art to end up between them. Patrick prepping with condom and lube while Tashi shimmies out of her little shorts completely.

Art can’t help himself. He grabs at her waist and just starts mouthing at her pretty lacy panties right away. Doing all the things he was imagining while Patrick was tasting her. He can feel her cunt through them, feel the heat, taste the wetness on his tongue. Thinks he can taste Patrick too. He licks at the fabric excitedly, presses his tongue into the folds, so the panties are pressed inside too. 

“Oh fuck, your such a good boy, i think i wanna keep you,” she moans. That warms him up all over. She’s actively moaning by the time Art finally slides the panties to the side and presses his tongue in properly. Licking all around but barely giving attention to the top, pulling back every time his tongue briefly darts over her clit. Just so he can hear her desperation build. 

She tastes so good. He wants to touch himself but Patrick’s holding onto him, one big strong arm around his waist to keep him still. It’s one of Art’s top five favorite feelings, Patrick’s arm over his tummy, holding on like Art belongs to him or something.

“Mm sit up for me,” Patrick says. Art feels overstimulated already but it takes on a new intensity as Patrick begins to fill him up. “God how are you still so fucking tight.” Patrick breathes. Art can’t stop moaning into the heat of Tashi’s cunt. can’t help wiggling as Patrick’s cock slowly settles deep inside him. Patrick grabbing his hips to calm him down before guiding him forward and back so he can slide it in and out and all around.  “Oh fuck yes,” Patrick sighs happily. 

”Mm,” Tashi whines, and Art realizes he’s gotten so distracted by how good Patrick feels that he’s lost all technique. His mouth has gone slack jawed and mindless with his tongue just slipping around all pressed up against her clit. she’s starting to grind her hips, push back against him, pulling his hair and whatever she can for stimulation. He slips two fingers inside ( they glide in so damn easy) he scissors them around while taking little breaths before he puts his mouth on her again. 

All while Patrick is dragging Art’s hips, pushing and pulling. His swollen cock, this ever present intrusion gliding repeatedly along that spot inside Art that makes him see stars on every thrust. 

It feels fucking insane. The sensations. So much all at once. Tashi and Patrick breathing, moaning, gasping. Tashi and Patrick using his body. Tashi and Patrick, touching him all over. Telling him how good he is. How much they want him. How much they need him. He feels lightheaded like he could float away at any minute. After a while he’s not sure what he’s doing outside of moaning and whining, mouth wide open, fingers in deep licking Tashi up so desperately.

He almost comes, he can’t help himself. It just feels so good. But luckily Tashi beats him to it. He realizes it when her grip on his hair gets tighter and he can feel her starting to convulse. Her voice getting louder just repeated pitchy whines of the words “oh”  “yes”  “god”  and “fuck” sometimes in that order. Sometimes just “yes, yes, yes” or “fuck, fuck, fuck” over and over.  Then she’s clenching and quivering and he can feel it all over his tongue and fingertips. She keeps hold of him for a minute while she’s catching her breath. And then she pulls back on shaky legs and barely walks the two feet to drop onto the sofa next to Patrick. 

“Was it good, baby? Hm?” Patrick’s all soft and breathy.  Did it feel fucking good?”   

Art’s breathless too, his mouth and chin all wet. He’s teetering on the edge. And then he hears them. They’re kissing. Patrick still deep inside him…gliding in and out…and they’re kissing. God. 

He sucks his wet fingers into his mouth And starts actively riding. Patrick’s got his palm pressed firmly against Art’s tummy like he’s trying to feel himself in there. He knows Art generally needs stimulation so he always takes his time before touching his cock and won’t let Art touch himself. So Arts just riding the edge and slowly going insane. 

Somewhere in the distance he feels Tashi rubbing his thigh. “You okay?” She whispers.

He kinda hears her. “How’s it feel?” She asks again softly. It registers that time.

“Good,” Art says, pulling his fingers out, palms resting on Patrick’s thighs. “Really fucking good.” his voice pitched too high. “Really amazing.” He’s not sure what he’s talking about but he can’t stop sometimes when he starts.  “Can I be yours? Can I be with you guys? Please. I’ll be your pet. I’ll be whatever you want. I want it all the time. I wanna fuck you all the time, mommy please mo—.”

He feels Patrick big hand clap over his mouth. 

“Mm shh fuck, I’m fucking—” Patrick hisses sharply, in Art’s ear, his hips stuttering as he grips hold of Art with his free hand and starts jerking him. “Fuck!” 

Art’s moans are muffled by Patrick’s hand but he arches his back against Patrick’s chest, moaning as he watches strings of cum spurt out of him, covering Patrick’s fingers, some of it dripping onto the leather sofa and the rug.  

“Holy shit,” Patrick huffs, breathlessly as he starts to recover. 

Tashi giggles. “Did mommy set you off?” 

“What do you fucking think?” He groans.

Art is catching his breath through his nose. He grabs at Patricks arm to get him to move it so he can try to explain himself. 

“Nuh uh… i need a break from your fucking mouth, Jesus Christ,” Patrick says breathlessly and Art grins licking at his palm.

Tashi laughs. ”I think you need to take him back to school so he can finish his homework or whatever. Oh and while your at it, don’t fuck him on campus anymore you fucking idiot.” She says, lightly kicking his shin for emphasis. She then leans in and rubs his knee gently, the one with the scar. “Can you manage not to lose this job?”

”Mm yeah. You're right.  I’m gonna control myself.” Patrick sighs. “You’re gonna let me control myself right?” He says to Art and Art nods his head and grabs at his arm again. 

“If i let go, you promise not to say either of those words again?” Patrick demands.

Art nods again and Patrick moves his hand and makes Art move forward so he can tie off the condom. 

“Can i stay over?” Art asks, feeling mildly anxious that they’re really gonna take him back to school.

“What, you wanna sleep in our bed?” Tashi smirks. 

Art nods. “Please. I’ll go to sleep right away. I swear.” 

“God Patrick… look at the fucking mess you made,” Tashi says, softly and she stretches out with a yawn. Art still can’t get over how beautiful she is in real life.  “Fine pretty boy, you can stay. Even though you make me feel so dirty I need a shower. ”

Art almost asks if he can come but he bites his tongue. He doesn’t want to push his luck with her.

“Just so you know if you misbehave we’re gonna put you in the guest room,” Patrick says as she disappears into their bedroom.

“Okay da— I mean coach.“ Art grins, crawling back onto his lap. “And just so you know I think you’re the best coach ever and I wanna get really, really good at tennis so I think I need to fuck you both every—“ 

Patrick cups his hand back over Art's mouth which makes him giggle.  

“Don’t make me gag you all night,” Patrick says softly, taking his hand away and brushing the hair out of Art's eyes. “First thing in the morning you’re going home and I hope you had fun because we’re not doing this again,” he says. “And I mean it,” he adds.

“Mmhm,” Art says, grinning. “sure.”

(okay thank you again @artstennisracket for reading this and also being generally lovely. now i shall disappear 🫥 )

Grabber: Tell me your name, boy.

Finney: …McLovin.

Grabber: …McLovin?

Finney: Yeah.

Grabber: McLovin? What kind of a stupid name is that? What, are you trying to be an Irish R&B singer?

Grabber: *throws newspaper at Finney* You gave me the stupidest fake name.

Finney: I had to pick on the spot!

Grabber: And you landed on McLovin?

Finney: Yeah. It was between that and Muhammad.

Grabber:

Grabber: Why the fuck would it between that and Muhammad?! Why don’t you just pick a common name like a normal person?!

Finney: “Muhammad” is the most commonly used name on Earth! Read a fucking book for once!

Grabber: Finney, have you actually ever met anyone named “Muhammad”?

Finney: Have you actually ever met anyone named “McLovin”?

Grabber: No! That’s why you picked a dumb fucking name!

Finney: Fuck you!

Grabber: You didn’t even give me a first name, you just said “McLovin”! One name? One name? Who are you, Seal?

Finney: No, I am McLovin.

Grabber: No, you’re not! No one’s McLovin! McLovin’s never existed because that’s a made-up, dumb, fucking fairy tale name, you fuck!