I Say This Every Year But This Was By Far The Worst Birthday Ever.

Me at 3am clicking “keep reading” on the most jaw dropping, earth shattering, pantie dropping, smutty fic when I have to be up in 3 hours

“My child is completely fine” your child wants to get their back blown by a 60+ year old man with a former addiction problem

lord forgive me for i am about to sin 🙏🙏

i truly believe that during this specific era, james had the biggest size kink. so big it would drive him feral.

he’s just obsessed with making you seem small just so that he could take care of you in every way possible. he loves how his large hands can cover up almost your entire torso when he’s holding you, fucking into you.

he loves seeing his bulge appear in your stomach. it just makes him fuck you even deeper, wanting to see how big the bulge could get. or the way he rests his elbows on each side of you, trapping you and you try to claw onto him.

whenever you suck him off, he always has to bring his cock to your face, comparing you to him as he wonders how the fuck were you supposed to put all that in your mouth?? he spits over your lips, bringing his hand down to grab your jaw, forcing your mouth open with his thumb, making you suck on it. after he pulls his thumb out, he’d bring his tip, smearing his precum against your lips before motioning for you to open your mouth, tapping his cock on your tongue.

he couldn’t wait anymore, so without any warning, he thrusts himself into your mouth, making you gag. he sees the mark of your lipstick near his base, he lets out a breathy moan. you bring up both of your hands to stroke him, wanting him to feel as good as possible. he loves pulling out paint your face, wanting to make you look as messy as possible with your unruly hair and runny mascara and smeared lipstick. he spreads his cum all over your face, feeding some of it to you.

he remembers the time you wanted to be the one on top for once. you had never tried this position with him yet. he was so gentle, murmuring sweet words of encouragement. you were sat on top of him, knees on each side as you stroke his cock. when you’re ready, he has his hands on your hips, lifting you so he could set you on his dick very slowly. the sight was almost comedic, seeing your eyes pop out as you hiss from the stretch.

“it’s okay, sweet girl, take your time.”

you whine and whimper when you finally take all of him, causing james to groan as he brings his hand to the bulge that appeared in your stomach, rubbing his hand there and around your tummy. you were so tight around him, and he tried his hardest to resist the urge from fucking you at an inhuman pace, but with the way you were clenching around him, he couldn’t take it slow much longer.

he got up from the couch, effortlessly carrying you with him as he cradled you with one arm, and the other rests beside your head against the wall as he fucks mercilessly into you. you cry out, wrapping your arms around his shoulders as you muffle the sounds of your whines into the crook of his neck. it didn’t take long for the both of you to cum. he brings the hand that was resting against the wall and uses it to stroke your hair, mumbling sweet words as he peppers you kisses,

“you did so good for me, princess. i didn’t hurt you, did i?” he coos.

he continues to baby you, setting you on the couch to clean the cum from his thighs and from you. he lays down on the couch next to you, bringing you into his arms as you both fall asleep, his arm wrapping around the entirety of you.

this absolutely sucked i’m sorry but i just needed to get this out of my system.

AMEN 🙏🙏🙏

found this on pinterest so you have to see it too

CRACK MY BACK SMACK MY ASS SLAP MY PUSSY RAW PAINT MY INSIDES TIL ALL I SEE IS WHITE TIL I'M PARALYZED TIL BONES START POPPING LIKE WE'RE POSSESSED BY THE NUN

NO YOU DONT GET IT, I NEED HIM IN A WAY THAT IS CONCERNING TO FEMINISM

idk but i really want to kiss 80s!james' neck and chest. like they look very kissable hello????

also his slutty little waist here???? did i mention the arm??? i need him really bad.

HES SO PRETTY!!!3!:&:? he’s always so kissable but yes his neck n chest!!! so pretty. i wanna like give hickeys on his collarbones yk

OH MY FUCK HES JUST SO

HES SO FINE IM SOBBING

he’s showing me where he wants it btw

NO JUST STOP IM GONNA GO INTO CARDIAC ARREST.

I just cant figure out why he cant be mine. Like who decided that he would be the FINEST MAN on planet earth.

Like just imagine him after a show. You are waiting for him backstage, a couple hours feel like forever. But soon enough you hear them saying there goodbyes and whatever which makes you happy. You stand wait, accidentally zoning out until you feel a big pair of arms wrap around you.

“James!” You squeal. “Oh my god, oh my god your sweaty!” Squealing once again, as you try wiggle your self out his grip, which only makes him squeeze you tighter.

A laugh escapes his mouth as he finally pulls away and cups one of your cheeks in his hands, leaning down for a kiss.

LIKE TELL ME IS ISNT FUCKING PERFECT RUMI🗣️🗣️

OH AND I ALSO HAVE A PICTURE SIMILAR (if not the same) TO THIS ERA.

(Idk if im stupid but i think its the same concert)

AHHH THE LITTLE GREY CURLS AT THE BACK IM ROLLINGGGGG.

Imagine running your hands through his hair i cant🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️

I found the picture on Pinterest today and i inspected the photo for a good 15 minutes. PERFECTION.

My obsession is getting outa control someone ship James to my house.

honestly

so horny i’m about to start rocking back and forth

give it a shot and lmk how it goes

y’all think i can bag kirk with this?

Omg that was one of the best stories i’ve ever read, left me giggling and kicking my feet thankyou so much!!!

AHH IM GLAD YOU LIKED IT <33

the rtl james thing was so good thank yewww muah~ 😚

I’ve also been thinking abt ajfa James (nose ring/undercut brain rot) coming back home from tour and y’all are SO needy for eachother. Like, you’re trying to hold back and ask him about how the tour went and this and that….

James is so so eager too and he’s trying to answer your questions but his dick is so hard just from you giving him a welcome home hug.

a few minutes pass by and he can’t take it anymore so he just picks you up and takes you to bed. he’s so eager but romantic at the same time. there’s so much pent up emotion between the two of you. he was away for weeks and you had missed eachother so much. the phone calls weren’t enough.

James and y/n end up having the most passionate fuck ever and you guys get kinda emotional. OKAY, I’m done ooof 😓

AHHHHH THIS MAN CANNOT HOLD HIMSELF BACK ANYMORE HE JUST NEEDS TO HAVE YOU.

he would literally just say “i’m sorry baby, we’ll talk later but i just need to have you now,” and will throw you against the bed, kissing you with an unbelievable amount of passion. he’s thinking with his dick rn, hes BEEN thinking with his dick ever since he saw you, he got near you. he hugged you, feeling your chest against his as he inhaled your scent, missing everything about you.

as much as he needed you tho, i feel like he’d be so sweet, taking your clothes off, pressing little kisses with each item he strips as he murmurs words like, “fuck you’re so beautiful,” or “i miss my pretty girl.”

the sweetness he had just two seconds ago disappears the instant he sees your naked body splayed out on your bed just for him. he takes off his clothes, not wanting to waste any time and just needing to be inside of you.

he towers over you before lining himself up with you as you bring your hands up, resting them against his shoulders. you gasp when he thrusts inside you, bottoming out as he lets out a groan, missing the feeling of you around him. he wastes no time and immediately starts pistoning his hips against yours, the sound of skin slapping against each other spurring the both of you on. he grabs your thigh, hiking one of your legs against his hip.

“god, you feel so fucking good. takin’ me so well”

james would lean down, taking one breast into his mouth and biting down on it while you cradle his head there with one arm and you claw at his back with your free hand, trying to hold back your groans and cries.

he delivers a slap to your thigh, slamming into you even harder. “nuh uh, baby, none of that. i wanna hear you.” he whispers against your ear, his plush lips brushing against the shell your ear, making you cry out.

you were starting to get close to your orgasm, so you began to thrust upwards, meeting his hips to speed up the process. you start clenching around him, pornographic moan leaving your lips, but james’ lips quickly muffle the sounds.

“shit, i’m gonna cum so hard.” he groans when he pulls away from your mouth. you feel him shoot in hot spurts deep inside of you, but his hips don’t stop slapping against you. in fact, they speed up, if that’s even possible.

you lean forward, holding yourself up with one arm to chase your orgasm as james delivers words of encouragement. you mindlessly nod your head, not being able to focus with the words coming out of his mouth when he hits your sweet spot, the sounds of his cum mixed with your wetness driving you insane.

“come on, gorgeous, cum for me.” he leans down to connect your lips in a kiss, causing you to practically scream in his mouth as you cum, a tear falling from the corner of your eye. he pulls out of you, wanting to see the way both of your cum mixed together leak out.

“so fucking beautiful.” he says to himself more than you, admiring the sight.

he shuffles closer to you, the both of you too tired to clean up and also so needy for each other, not wanting to be apart for a second so you decide to clean up later since you were gonna burn the sheets anyway

pulling my hair.