TOWARDS YOU: The Playlists.

𝐢𝐢. 𝗇𝖺𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗇𝗀'𝗌 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗀𝗎𝗂𝖽𝖾

books to start the new year right!

Atomic Habits- James Clear

Ikigai- Francesc Miralles and Hector Garcia

The Compound Effect- Darren Hardy

The Magic of Thinking Big- David J. Schwartz

Big Magic- Elizabeth Gilbert

The Dip- Seth Godin

Eat That Frog!- Brian Tracy

Surrounded by Idiots- Thomas Erikson

Rich Dad Poor Dad- Robert Kyosaki

The Secret Life of Money- Daniel Davies and Tess Read

goodbye, 2023!

xlii. piercing through my soul

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CHAPTER FORTY-TWO ─ piercing through my soul.

❛ i wanna hold you just for a while

and die with a smile ❜

Choi Eunyoung's Perspective

The chatter and buzz in the interview room rekindled after the cameraman's "Cut!" People switching off all the extra studio lights, packing up their things and chatting with each other. The tense atmosphere that previously hung over the room while the filming was ongoing was replaced with a new friendliness and lightheartedness. Words of encouragement and several people saying "Good job!" seemed to raise everyone's spirits. 

I heaved a quiet sigh the moment the cameras were out. During the interview, I felt as if I had been holding my breath the whole time. Never in my career of doing interviews for famous, influential personalities had I ever felt so nervous. At the same time, I knew I was obviously holding myself back. Every cell in my body wanted to drop all formalities and throw my arms around him and tell him how glad I was to see him. 

His experience writing 'Sonaki' was something that pricked me from inside. His words constantly echoed inside my mind. He met her on a rainy day. It was dangerously similar to how I met Sunjae. A part of me- the hopeful part, wanted to believe desperately that it was me. Despite wanting to hold onto the hope, an anxious and worried voice inside me told me not to get excited over it. It was too good to be true. Him writing a poetic masterpiece about his first love who was none other than me? It sounded impossible. I was also afraid. Afraid of being wrong after thinking it was about me. At the end of the day, I'm nothing more than his fan. And to him, all he's going to remember me is as a distant memory from his teenage years.

I gave in to all my temptations as I stole a glance at Sunjae, sitting across from me rummaging through his bag and talking about something or the other with his manager. I nearly smiled seeing his relaxed posture and radiant glow. Something about him had changed in the best way possible. He looked happy, and that was enough for my heart to be content. For a split second, our eyes met and I tore away forcefully and unnaturally, probably making a fool out of myself. It was too much. Seeing him again uprooted so many repressed feelings.

Soon, he was telling his manager to go on without him and saying that he would be out soon. Watching his manager leave the room, I found myself thinking- Am I really going to be here alone with him? It hadn't even been that long since I'd last seen him, yet my heart pounded in my ears like a thousand drums.

"Hey," he began once he was sure everyone was gone. I nearly jumped out of my skin hearing his voice, "It's been a while, huh? How've you been?"

"Hi," I answered with a small smile. So he remembers me... "Yeah, it's been ages. I've been good. How 'bout you? How's everything?"

"Good, you know. Life's full of surprises," he answered, smiling.

"That's nice to know; You...look... good- like you've been well," I stuttered like an idiot, "This is awkward, isn't it?"

"Yeah," he agreed, sounding disappointed, "It's been too long, I guess."

"Yeah."

An uncomfortable silence filled the air as we both looked here and there, thinking hard about what to say next. It seemed like both of us had a hundred thoughts racing through our minds, but no words nor courage to express them.

"You don't have any like... illness or anything lately, do you?" I asked slowly, afraid of the answer.

"No, not at all," he answered, sounding confused.

"I read some of the articles you wrote," he said after a few more moments of silence.

"About Eclipse?" I asked, sounding a bit too eager.

"Yeah," he replied, fidgeting with his clothes, "And other things. Your writing's as good as ever."

"Thanks," I cracked a real smile, "Should we go? Your manager must be waiting."

"Yeah."

We made our way through the door and into the elevator. I had never realized that our building elevator had no mirror. Or music. I stared at the ground, soaking in all the silence between us. The awkwardness sent a chill down my spine. I wanted to do something. I wanted to tell him that I missed him. But that would make things even more awkward and I would die of embarrassment.

Gosh, were elevator rides here always so insufferable?

The elevator finally stopped at the ground floor after what felt like a million years, and we exited the building, still completely quiet. Standing on the pavement looking onto the highway, I looked up at Sunjae, who was already looking. My face felt hot as I forgot what I was about to say.

"So this is it?" he said with a hint of sadness in his voice.

"We should keep in touch this time," I blurted out too quickly. Why was I so jittery? "You can get my number from your manager."

"Yeah, let's do that," he said with a smile, finally showing his beautiful dimples. I returned his smile, feeling my heart swell up at the very sight of a happy Sunjae.

"My manager's car is over there across the street," he said, looking at the black car parked on the other side of the road, "I'll see you?"

"You will," I said with conviction, the smile never leaving my face.

I watched as the made his way across the zebra crossing, going further away, but in that moment, he felt the closest that evening. The soft glow of the streetlamp and the dim starlight seemed to give me a glimmer of hope. That this was the beginning of something new. Something special. Then, as if to throw water over all my happiness, I loud crashing sounded, like a huge truck suddenly stopping. My eyes went wide as my body seemed to freeze from shock. I felt my blood go cold.

Time seemed to splinter into fragments, each one more agonizing than the last, as I watched the massive, green truck barrel forward, unstoppable. There was a horrid screeching of brakes, but it was too late—the impact was thunderous, like the world cracking open right before my eyes. Sunjae's body collided with the force of the vehicle, a sickening blur of motion as he was thrown to the ground, his form limp and unmoving.

A piercing cry escaped my throat, one I barely recognized as my own. My chest constricted, an unbearable ache tearing through me as if the impact had shattered not only him but every part of me, too. For a brief, surreal moment, I couldn't move; I was paralyzed, bound by the horror of what I'd just witnessed, by the helplessness sinking like iron into my bones.

I stumbled forward, heart hammering wildly, tears blurring my vision as I rushed toward him. "Sunjae!" I cried, my voice trembling, desperate. My knees hit the ground beside him, the unforgiving pavement scraping through the fabric of my jeans, but I barely registered the sting. All I could see was his stillness, his face pale and serene in a way that frightened me more than any amount of pain ever could.

A sob broke free, raw and guttural, as I reached for his hand, cold and heavy in mine. Memories flooded my mind—his laughter, his warmth, the look in his eyes when he talked about the future, a future I suddenly couldn't see. It was slipping from me, unraveling like sand through my fingers, and I was powerless to stop it. The sight of him lying there, broken, filled me with a heartbreak so deep I felt hollowed out from within. I could feel my heart shattering, piece by piece, each shard lodging painfully within me.

"Please...please, Sunjae," I whispered, voice breaking as I clutched his hand, unable to stop my tears. The world had collapsed around us, reduced to this one horrible moment, to the unbearable thought of losing him.

☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩⋆｡° ✮

nana's notes: sunjae's death breaks me in every timeline.

delphi's notes: here we go again.

next chapter: friday (out now!) list of chapters here!

xxviii. the aftermath

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CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT ─ the aftermath.

❛ once the flight had flown, with the wilt of the rose ❜

Choi Yumi's Perspective

The surroundings seemed familiar. My mind was clouded with confusion, I couldn't understand what had happened. Moments ago, I remember being on my way home on Taesung's motorcycle, and then we...

"Yumi?" called out Eunyoung's voice which seemed to reflect my puzzled state. That's when I realized where we were. It was our shared apartment in Seoul and we were back to the present. I turned to look at her with furrowed brows, "Check the date quickly!"

She reached for her phone, and the screen displayed 00:02, 1st January, 2023 as the time and date, "What's going on?" she whispered, sounding lost, "This... this means we really time travelled."

"Yeah," I breathed. We had really gone back to the past, to 2008, and now we were back. I stood up to look at the CD player. It displayed 2:00 now instead of 3:00, "What does this mean?" Before I could sit back down, I caught a glimpse of my face in Eunyoung's vanity above her desk. A huge scar on the right side of my face, stretching from my cheek down to my chin. I ran my fingers over it, but there was no odd texture, "W...What's this thing on my face?" I whispered in horror.

I don't quite remember what happened...

❪ flashback ❫

I couldn't make any sense of anything. Where was I? How did I end up there? I had no clue. I could hear loud chattering, someone screaming, the sound of cars passing by in the distance. Then a blaring siren and someone taking me away. What happened after that? I had blacked out completely.

When I opened my eyes all I could see was a white ceiling above me and then the scent of antiseptic hit my nose. Soon, I realized that I was lying down, and my eyes scanned my surroundings. I was wearing a white robe- or was it like a nightgown? I don't have any nightgowns. There were white curtains around the bed I was laying on and that's when the realization hit me like a ton of bricks. I was in a hospital.

The needle piercing through my hand sent a sharp, shooting pain up my arm as I noticed it was there, making me wince. There was a huge white bump I could see on the right side of my face- bandages.

The rest of my memories were in a blur. I could still hear people's voices in the back of my mind.

My mom's voice, screaming, "KIM TAESUNG YOU FUCKING BASTARD!"

Eunyoung's panicked voice and sobs, "Yumi, I'm so sorry..."

My own voice, yelling, "Look what you've done to me! This! This thing on my face is thanks to you! I'm going to have to live with this all my life. So, I'm sorry if the scar on your shoulder is an eyesore. Because that's too fucking bad."

❪ end of flashback ❫

"Don't you remember?" asked Eunyoung after a long pause, "Taesung was dropping you home... and... and then you..." her voice sounded choked and she closed her mouth, realizing it was too painful to remember.

"I think I remember," I said, spacing out. My hand reached to touch the scar again.

"You swore you hated him," added Eunyoung, "You guys had a huge fight. Screaming in the hospital and everything."

"It must have been quite the scene," I bit my lip, recalling the embarrassing memory.

"Yeah," she said. We both sat in the painful silence that hung in the air. The snow pattered against the window, as if it were knocking, asking to be let in.

"I'm sorry," I told her gently, "I'm sorry for all the horrible things I said to you."

"I'm sorry too," she said, reaching for my hand, "It wasn't my place."

"No, it was! It absolutely was!" I cried as the strength returned in my voice, "You're my family and you had the right to be worried. And you were right! He was trouble! And and... and he-"

"Shhh, it's fine," she said, noticing how my voice shook as I spoke, squeezing my hand, "It's over now. It's all forgiven."

Her eyes moved to her phone screen, showing the news article that Eclipse's Ryu Sunjae had passed away. Her eyes widened, then became moist, "It's... I couldn't do anything..."

I could do nothing but gaze painfully at her state, "Look at the display on the Cd player. I'm guessing it means we have two more chances. Two more chances to set things right."

Narrator's Perspective

Waking up and going to work the next morning seemed like too big of a task for me. From the moment the harsh sunlight streaming through the window entered my room, to the shower, it was as if the melody of sonaki rang in my head as tears streamed uncontrollably down my face. It was completely unlike me- I had never felt so pathetic and depressed in my 34 years of living, and I was feeling it now- all at once.

"Adulting is so hard," I grumbled under my breath as I left the house, wearing black because I was grieving. It had barely been a day since I had returned, but my heart ached with desperation and longing. I already missed my daily bus rides with Sunjae, our carefree, almost meaningless conversations. His smiling face and eyes that seemed to me dripping with honey occupied my mind the whole car ride.

"Teenage life was so easy," I muttered to myself as I parked my car and made my way up the elevator.

The moment I opened the door, I saw a sea of people- employees, all clad in black from head to toe. For a moment, I felt a sense of pride. I had made this happen; a team of people who actually gave a damn about journalistic integrity and not just nosy busybodies who wanted to pry into the lives of the rich and elite. A smile almost surfaced on my face when I thought about my slightly dramatic rise to power as I overthrew the previous CEO of The Seoul Daily.

"Ms. Choi," someone called out to me. A familiar face appeared before me as we bowed and exchanged greetings, "Kang Seoyoon, the head of the entertainment department released the article regarding Singer Ryu Sunjae's death because she lives near the hospital he was taken to. Would you like us to start research on the cause?"

The words felt like icicles against my skin- they were too official, so cold that it almost sent a shiver down my spine. I cleared my throat, trying to pull myself together; I then said to her, mustering up all the professionalism in my voice, "Yes, please get started. Tell Seoyoon that it was extremely prompt of her to write the article even though it was after work hours. Thanks."

With a brief nod and bow, she ran off. "You're all doing a really great job!" I cried out to all the hardworking people sitting withing earshot, plastering on my best fake smile, "Keep up the good work and report to me after the front page placements are done."

The news that I heard a while later felt as if someone ran a knife through my heart. Sunjae's cause of death- it was suicide.

☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩⋆｡° ✮

nana's notes: i guess listening to sad kdrama osts makes me work faster 🤧😭

delphi's notes: sunjae needs to get his death pass revoked frfr :(

next chapter: friday (out now!) list of chapters here!

xxxiv. the rose that grew thorns

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CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR ─ the rose that grew thorns.

❛ my heart only wants you the moment you say no ❜

Narrator's Perspective

To Yumi, it seemed like all she did was stand and wait since she time travelled for the second time. But what other choice did she have? If she was completely honest with herself, she envied Sunjae and Eunyoung's instant connection. Things just seemed to fall into place for them. Not that they were completely carefree, though.

So, once again, she stood among the sea of students dispersing from school. The sun shone it's piercing rays over the campus, and the cheery chatter that filled the air along with the insane humidity was already giving Yumi a migraine. Her eyes searched the crowd for a messy-haired, cat-faced boy in a blinding biker jacket. 

The moment she spotted him, her eyes lit up, and her lethargic posture on the bench suddenly became erect as she practically sprinted across the street. "Taesung!"

He turned sharply to look at her, his expression as grim as ever.

"Look, I'm sorry for-"

"What the hell's the matter with you?!" he snapped at her, his face twisting with rage, "I don't know what sick prank you're playing with me. What exactly are you sorry for? That your mother comes and yells at me at seven in the morning?"

"Taesung, what?" Yumi tried to ask, her mind in utter confusion.

"She comes up to me before school, threatens me not to come near you or she would file a restraining order. And you come up to me not once, but twice, to apologize?" He said the last part like a question, as if it was just that shocking, "You're the one who asked me to piss off, so here I am, minding my own business and then you appear out of nowhere saying shit that barely makes sense. Look all I wanted to say is that it would be really great if you and your family stopped attacking me in the streets, thanks."

Heads were turning, and Yumi felt a lump in her throat and tears forming in her eyes. She lowered her head, and began walking away as her tears threatened to spill at any second.

Somewhere in the crowd, Eunyoung and Sunjae stood silently, watching the scene unfold before them. Eunyoung's heart twisted in pain. The story seemed to click in her mind as she came to a hurtful realization. Their mother must have overheard their conversation from the previous day.

"Sunjae I'm sorry, can we reschedule-" she began, but he cut her off.

"Go, go, I'll be fine, I swear," he urged. She said a quick thank you, running after Yumi.

 💿

Eunyoung unlocked the door to her house as fast as she could, rushing inside. When she stepped into the living room, her heart sank. Yumi was curled up on the couch, her knees drawn to her chest, sobbing uncontrollably. Without hesitation, Eunyoung hurried to her side, pulling her into a tight, comforting embrace. Yumi continued to weep into her shoulder, her tears soaking through Eunyoung's shirt.

Eunyoung had only seen her like this once before—when Yumi's mother had passed away. The sight of her closest friend in such deep pain tore at her heart. After what felt like forever, Yumi slowly pulled back, her voice trembling as she said, "It hurts, Eunyoung... it hurts so much. My chest feels like it's been stabbed, like there's a weight crushing it. I've... I've lost him, Eunyoung."

Tears filled Eunyoung's own eyes as she gently took Yumi's shaking hands in hers. "Oh, Yumi," she whispered, her voice thick with emotion.

"I've hurt him so much... He hates me now- hell, I hate myself!" Yumi cried, her words broken by sobs. Her face was drenched in tears, her eyes swollen and red, the tip of her nose glowing. The raw pain in her voice and the way she trembled made Eunyoung's heart ache even more as Yumi's sorrow spilled out through her shaking sobs.

"It's not your fault, Yumi," Eunyoung assured her. Her own voice shook, but even that couldn't hide her genuine belief in those words, "None of it is your fault, Yumi. You have believe that. For me. And for mom. You know how much she cares about you and never wants to see you hurt or grieving. She's trying her best to protect you, Yumi. The accident was a horrible tragedy and it was nobody's fault that it happened."

"I ruined his life," Yumi continued to weep, her throat beginning to ache, "I should have never been here in the first place!"

Eunyoung had never felt as helpless as she had in that moment, watching Yumi cry achingly. She tried as hard as she could to wipe her own tears that blurred her vision. 

"At the hospital," Eunyoung began, trying to gather herself, "He checked with me a million times if you were going to be okay. He made sure you would be alright before shifting rooms. He really cares about you, Yumi, I mean it. He does care. You need to remember that. You need to cling to that hope."

 Eunyoung could practically hear Taesung's earnest voice in her ears.

"Eunyoung, hear me out for a minute. I know you, your mom and everyone hates me and I'm like number one on your hitlist, but I just need to know one thing and I swear I'll get lost. Is Yumi going to be alright? Just tell me that much, cause I NEED to know. You just need to tell me that much and then I'm going to shift rooms. I promise I won't interfere with her life EVER again."

Yumi's sobbing reduced a little bit, and Eunyoung saw it as a small victory as she saw a little light returning to Yumi's swollen eyes.

"I really want to believe that," Yumi whispered.

"You should," Eunyoung affirmed, "Because it's true."

☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩⋆｡° ✮

nana's notes: sunjae being the considerate king that he is <3

delphi's notes: TAESUNG NOOOOOOO

next chapter: friday (out now!) list of chapters here!

xiv. the space between us

☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩⋆｡° ✮

CHAPTER FOURTEEN ─ the space between us.

❛ our secret moments in a crowded room, they got no idea 'bout me and you. ❜

Narrator's Perspective

Sunjae and Eunyoung sat silently in Eunyoung's living room, the sound of occasional hiccups or sobs breaking the silence. She reached for his clenched hand, gently squeezing it as an acknowledgement of the agony that he felt as if to say, "I'm here for you."

"How did you know?" Sunjae asked quietly, trying to conceal the spark he felt at her touch, "That I got hurt."

"I realized you never showed up the the bus stop, so I asked your friend," she answered, "I'm sorry."

"What are you sorry for?" he countered, "Even though we haven't known each other for long, you've been here for me like a pillar of support. You always seem to say the right thing at the right time. I feel comfortable with you. You've got nothing to be sorry for. In fact, I'm the one who should be sorry. I should have listened to your advice."

His words seemed to melt her heart like ice cream on a sunny day as her face began to feel warm, "It's not your fault, Sunjae. I should have tried harder."

"No," he said firmly, taking both her hands as she gazed into his glassy eyes, "You tried to warn me, but I was too stubborn. You can't possibly blame yourself for what happened to me. Maybe fate has other plans for me."

His words echoed in her mind; all she could do was sit and stare at him because she was the only one who knew what destiny had in store for him.

Their eyes locked as both of them desired to look nowhere but at each other. The air seemed to grow heavy with words they had been holding back since their first meeting. Eunyoung's breathing became slow and the sound pierced through the silence. As she continued to stare at his perfect face, her gaze shifted from his pillowy, soft lips to his eyes, moist from crying, then fixed on his lips, unable to look away. Sunjae, slowly, in a moment of realization, became aware of where Eunyoung was looking. Eunyoung's breath hitched ever so slightly as he leaned towards her, the action filled with hesitation. Their lips were a whisper apart, a secret yearning about to be fulfilled.

The doorknob rattling filled the air as they pulled away abruptly. Sunjae let go of his grip on Eunyoung's hands, startled at the rude interruption. Both their eyes began blinking rapidly, looking everywhere but at each other. 

As Yumi entered the room she stopped in her tracks, trying to make sense of what they were doing. Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion, "What are you two─ have you been crying? What happened?" Her voice was now laced with worry, oblivious to what she had walked in on.

"It's nothing," Eunyoung said sharply. A hiccup escaped her mouth as she sloppily tried to cover up the situation. 

"I'll leave you two alone," said Yumi, although as she walked to her room, her eyes seemed to convey a message to Eunyoung, as if to say You're telling me everything later.

Sunjae and Eunyoung were left alone once again and the silence felt louder than ever. Tension filled the room as she avoided his gaze. A tangled web of emotions and unspoken desires hung heavy in the air, a barrier that was both thrilling and terrifying.

💿

The newspaper room of Jagam High School was usually a lively place to be. The place always buzzed with heated discussions and the sound of busy fingers typing. However, at this moment only Hyejin and Yerin sat lazily in their designated chairs, gazing out at the bright summer day through the single, huge window in front of them. Yerin's cellphone buzzed, breaking the silence.

"Hey, look Mrs. Hong just messaged," she told her friend, who peeked into her phone, curious as to what their teacher had said, "The meeting is shifted to tomorrow."

Hyejin groaned, "The one day we show up early the meeting gets cancelled. Great."

"It's so unfair," Yerin grumbled.

"By the way, did you hear from Jiwoo? How's she doing?" Hyejin asked after a few moments of silence.

"I spoke to her yesterday," answered Yerin, "She's supposed to be discharged from the hospital this weekend. I can't believe she got chicken pox; It must have been so painful."

"Who wrote her article about the swim team?" Hyejin inquired.

"Don't you remember the teacher praising Eunyoung about─ oh yeah, you weren't there," she realized suddenly, "Do you know Choi Eunyoung?"

"Yeah, of course I do," she answered as if it was the most natural thing in the world, "She's probably the prettiest in our grade─ or maybe in our whole school."

"Well, she's the one who wrote the article," Yerin said, "She wrote it well, honestly. All the teachers like her."

"The people in my class said that Jiwoon sunbae likes her," she remembered suddenly, "He tried to get close to her and stuff last year. They're saying he's planning on confessing his feelings to her."

"Really?" Hyejin exclaimed, "I saw her with Ryu Sunjae on the bus the other day─ I thought they're going out. He kept her head on his shoulder and all. It seemed kind of serious if you ask me."

"No way!" Yerin remarked, shocked, "She's like─ really pretty, though. She and Sunjae would look good with each other. I've heard she's kind of reserved, so I don't think she would go out with someone for fun. I know so many people who tried to speak to her, but she gave them the cold shoulder and was really formal."

"Ugh, I hate girls like that. They always turn out to be so bitchy," she grumbled, "She has a sister who she's close with; but I don't think she has many friends. It's so high-and-mighty of her."

"Have you ever spoken to her?"

"Can't say I have."

☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩⋆｡° ✮

nayoung's notes: the first scene of this chapter is literally just a product of my intrusive thoughts lmao. i randomly came up with it and ended up keeping it. hope you liked it!

delphi's notes: yumi's got no idea what she walked in on 🫢

next chapter: friday (out now!) list of chapters here!

𝐢. 𝗇𝖺𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗇𝗀'𝗌 𝗌𝗄𝗂𝗇𝖼𝖺𝗋𝖾 𝗀𝗎𝗂𝖽𝖾!

disclamer! these tips are all from experience, they've been tried and tested by yours truly. please note that i am not a skin specialist, and if you have any major skin concerns, visit a dermatologist! always remember that you are beautiful just the way you are, and these tips are aiming to help you achieve a healthier overall lifestyle.

i. skin types: everyone's skin is different! so, the first and most important step is to find out what kind of skin you have. is it oily? is it often dry? is it sensitive to certain products? determining your skin type will aid you in finding products that work for you, making it a crucial step.

ii. drink more water: i know, you've heard it a million times! but i cannot emphasise how important it is to drink water! not just for your skin, but it benefits your overall health and well-being. dehydration can cause dryness, and oiliness- which can lead to heat boils and breakouts. drinking 2-3 litres of water every day can clear up your skin significantly!

iii. avoid oily and fried foods: health begins on the inside, so we must nourish our skin the same way! oily foods can clog your pores, and make your skin greasy. in general, processed and fried food is bad for your health as it is full of preservatives and artificial flavouring. although it is important to treat yourself from time to time, avoid eating these on a daily basis.

iv. stop touching your face: i understand how hard this might be for some of you because we end up subconsciously touching our face from time to time, but not touching your face is a crucial habit and you must train yourself to reduce the number of times you touch your face. touching your face with unwashed hands makes your skin oily and dirty. song jia revealed she only touches her face while applying basic skincare or washing her face. it seems impossible, but you can do it!

v. apply sunscreen daily: no matter what, you must include sunscreen in your skincare routine. regardless of the weather, it's important since the uv rays from the sun harm your skin, and pollutants in the air (especially in the city) can damage your skin significantly. i use neutrogena and it's super lightweight and gives your skin a glowy and clean look.

vi. weather matters: weather conditions play a big role in determining which skincare products you should be using. for example- if you live near the sea coast, you might not need to moisturise due to severe humidity, but if you live in a cold and dry country, a heavy moisturiser might be advisable! if you are interested in skincare tips for people living in tropical countries- comment!

vii. facewash usage: again, it depends on where you live. i personally live near the coast, so i end up washing my face thrice a day due to constant sweating. during winter, take a call on whether you need to use a facewash in the mornings. over-cleansing can strip your skin of natural oils, which does more harm than good. if the climate where you live is not too severe, i would recommend washing your face twice a day.

nayoung's note: hope these tips helped you! feel free to let me know how they worked in the comments.

xlv. break free

☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩⋆｡° ✮

CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE ─ break free.

❛ have you ever had someone kiss you in a crowded room? ❜

Choi Eunyoung's Perspective

I leaned on the railing at the edge of the mountain, looking onto the scenery. Bright, blue skies with scanty clouds above, and a lush, green valley below. The air around me seemed to be cool and still, as if it was holding it's breath, waiting for something to happen. It tingled against my bare legs, stinging ever so slightly, making me reconsider my decision to wear a skirt. 

My feet remained rooted to the ground, but my mind wandered back to the future in 2023. It was a painful picture painted before my eyes, which I could see with a hurtful clarity in my mind. My warm hands holding Sunjae's hands, that had gone cold. How my heart ached to even think of it. And the doctor's formal sympathy while telling me he passed away...

"Eunyoung?" asked a soft, gentle voice behind me. I turned around, my face melting into a smile on seeing Sunjae looking at me with his earnest, beady eyes, "What're you doing out here? Everyone's sitting near that stage thing and chatting."

"I was just looking around," I told him. My silly heart begun beating faster as he came to stand beside me, looking at the scenery, admiring the miracle of nature. I turned to do the same, and strangely enough, it all looked much more beautiful with Sunjae by my side. My shivering had ceased, replaced with a comforting warmth. I felt the blood rushing into my cheeks when I realized he stood with his elbows resting on the fence, just like mine, just close enough to touch.

"It's so beautiful," I breathed out.

"It is," I heard him say. My heart nearly jumped out of my chest when I turned to see him looking right at me. I could hear the thumping of my heart in my head like a steady drum beat. Goosebumps erupted on my skin. 

Can I really let myself believe this? After all that has happened? It all felt like a dream.

"Aren't you cold?"

"I am, but it's o-"

Before I could finish talking, he began taking off the jacket draped around his shoulders. I went completely, silent, watching him in awe. Had he always been this thoughtful? Nothing felt real. He leaned towards me, ever so slowly, maintaining minimal distance while he gently tied his jacket around my waist. His face nearly touched mine, and I could feel his breath on my cheeks. That was the closest I had ever come to exploding on the spot.

"You're going to feel cold," I said, my voice barely a whisper.

"I'll be fine," he assured me with his dimpled smile.

How was I supposed to say no to that?

Narrator's Perspective

A few hours after arriving at the field trip destination, the entire area was buzzing with excitement. The sunset was as early as half past five; Once the place was enveloped in the darkness of the night, no one had felt so alive. There was a joyful chatter in every tent, students talking, getting to know each other, playing drinking games. Some had promptly gotten drunk already, making fools out of themselves while it entertained those around them.

Meanwhile, Yumi had finally had just about enough of Minjun's antics. He was definitely a stubborn fellow. "Doesn't he have anyone else to bother?!" she yelled out to no one in particular. To her surprise, her prayers were answered.

"What's the matter?" asked Taesung, who had overheard her desperate pleas.

Yumi stared at him blankly for a few moments. Unable to hold herself back in frustration, she blurted out, "Oh, you have no idea! Minjun sunbaenim won't leave me alone. Doesn't he have the brains to understand that I'm not interested?! Is he retarded or what? Can't he just leave me alone?! It's driving me insane!"

Taesung stared at her, blinking his eyes rapidly as if to process all that she had said at record speed. The truth was, that avoiding her all these weeks had been absolute torture for him. Yumi had been such a significant part of his life, and then suddenly, she wasn't. At this point, he was willing to do anything to be around her. And seeing her uncomfortable and distressed because of some guy made his insides burn with rage.

"I'll help you," he declared decisively.

"Help? Not even god can help me," she sighed, "How do you plan on doing it?"

"I'll be your boyfriend."

Those four words were immediately effective in snapping Yumi out of her frustrated and angry state to a state of awe. She stared at him agape, trying to figure out the meaning behind those words. Boyfriend; the word echoed over and over in her mind.

"What?!" she blurted out a bit too loudly. Some people turned to stare at them. Taesung held her wrist with a surprisingly soft and gentle touch and took her behind a tent where they could talk in peace.

"I didn't mean it like that," he said in a hopeless attempt to defend himself. He did, in fact mean exactly what he said. It was just that he chickened out and now was trying to cover up, "I meant I'll pretend to be your boyfriend till the crackpot leaves you alone."

The offer was too tempting. "Deal," Yumi breathed out.

💿

"Can't I take a shot as a punishment instead?" Yumi pleaded.

"Nope!" said the game organizer, "You have to!"

"I'll take two shots," Yumi made him a counteroffer, "Please!"

"Not at all," he said, refusing to settle, "Don't be a spoil sport!"

Yumi heaved a sigh of annoyance. Not only had she gotten dragged into a drinking game by one of the girls from her department, but the game also happened to be spin the bottle. Yumi wondered why, out of all the weird Korean drinking games, they decided on spin the bottle? And now she had to kiss Minjun. It felt so terribly unfair that she was about to lose her first kiss to him. 

As they both stood up, Yumi with hesitation and Minjun with eagerness that was uncomfortable, everyone began clapping and jeering with excitement. Why did they like watching people suffer?

Looking into Minjun's eyes with all the hatred in her body, she took a deep breath. "It doesn't even matter," she told herself, "Let's just get this over with."

Just as their lips were about to meet, sealing the moment forever, Yumi felt someone's grip on her wrist that made her stop immediately. Her wrist was caught mid-motion, the unexpected hold halting her in her tracks. The grip was firm, commanding her attention, yet impossibly gentle, as if afraid to harm her. She turned sharply, startled, and her breath caught as her gaze met Taesung's. His eyes held hers for a brief, electrifying moment—dark and intense, a silent storm brewing in their depths.

Before she could speak, before she could even fully process, she felt his lips crash onto hers, silencing every thought and scattering every word she might have said. The kiss was bold and unyielding, yet it carried an undercurrent of tenderness that left her breathless.

Her entire body ignited, a wave of warmth sweeping over her as if she were standing too close to the sun. It was a sensation unlike anything she had ever known—a perfect collision of chaos and calm. Instinctively, she leaned into him, surrendering to the moment, letting herself be swept away. His hand slid up to cradle the back of her neck, his fingers threading gently through her hair, grounding her amidst the whirlwind. His other hand rested lightly on her waist, the touch feather-soft yet searing, as if it left an imprint on her very soul.

Her heart pounded wildly, a frenzied rhythm that echoed in her ears, and she wondered if he could feel it, too. His lips were impossibly soft, softer than she had dared to imagine, their every movement deliberate, intoxicating, as though he were memorizing her with each kiss.

The world around them seemed to dissolve, its sounds and sights fading into oblivion until all that remained was the two of them, locked in this timeless moment. The press of his body against hers, the heat of his touch, the magnetic pull between them—it was everything, consuming her entirely.

Every fear, every doubt, every restraint she had ever held onto melted away. In his arms, she felt weightless, free, as though nothing else mattered but this—their shared breath, their entwined hands, and the unspoken emotions that passed between them like a secret only they could understand.

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nana's notes: bet you didn't see that coming

delphi's notes: FINALLYYYYYYYYY

next chapter: saturday list of chapters here!

oh my god your acc is so pretty !! 💌

omg this made my day!! thank you so much <33 i love your theme sm it's so angelic 🤍

xxxiii. the ticking clock

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CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE ─ the ticking clock.

❛ watch your breeze take over me just like we used to be ❜

Narrator's Perspective

Sunjae waited outside the swimming pool, fidgeting with his hands rather impatiently. The events that had taken place just a few moments prior played in his head over and over again. His entire body was soaking wet, and his shirt stuck to his body. Normally, he would have been freezing, dying to get home and change. He felt a breeze, but the thought of Eunyoung seemed to keep him warm. 

He remembered how much he once hated the rain. How his clothes stuck to his body like a really annoying magnet. How the rain irritated him after a long day at the pool. But one fine day, all of that changed. A beautiful girl with smiling lips and intoxicating laughter had run through the moonlit alleyways with him, holding his hand and dragging him along.

She completely mesmerized him. Not only was she the most beautiful girl he had ever laid eyes on, but he never felt a connection with anyone like he did with Eunyoung. He might have been overreacting, but it almost felt as if he had found his other half. They fit together like pieces of a puzzle. It was just right. She always seemed to know the right words to speak at the right time. How could such a perfect person be real?

Just then, Eunyoung emerged through the swimming pool door wearing his blazer, and even then, she looked as pretty as ever. The oversized piece of clothing hid her hands in the sleeves and the jacket looked evidently too big for her. She still looked cute in it, though. 

"Thanks for letting me borrow this," she thanked him with a sweet smile, "Are you sure you're alright? The wind is going crazy today."

"No, it's alright," he assured her, returning a smile, "You can keep it."

They began walking to the bus stop. Eunyoung's eyes kept wandering everywhere, scanning the road she had taken every day of her teenage life. If she was completely honest with herself, she was freaking out inside. She was wearing Ryu Sunjae's clothes. The fact seemed so surreal to her and in that moment, for a while, she felt like a stereotypical teenage girl with a crush on a popular guy.

As they reached the bus stop, all she could think of was Sunjae sitting near the pool and sobbing his heart out. The pictures of news articles flashed in front of her eyes. "Ryu Sunjae's cause of death: Suicide?" "Ryu Sunjae proved to be taking anti-depressants prior to his death" She looked up at Sunjae. He had no idea what fate had in store for him, and she wanted to protect him more than anything.

💿

As they sat on the bus, side by side, Eunyoung found herself reaching for Sunjae's ice cold hand. The action startled Sunjae as he jumped a bit, a bright red blush appearing on his face. "Are you feeling alright?" she asked, her voice laced with worry and her eyebrows furrowed.

"I'm fine, really," he said, turning away to hide his flushed face, "I don't feel that cold, really."

"Your hands are literally freezing," countered Eunyoung, "But that's not what I was asking about. Earlier, at the pool... what happened?"

"Oh," he muttered, "I- it's stupid."

"No, it's not. Tell me, Sunjae."

The way she said his name just made him melt, "I got a bad grade... and I realized that without swimming, I don't even know what I'm doing with my life, and it really stressed me out."

"It's alright," she whispered, squeezing his hand gently, "It's okay to feel lost. One bad grade isn't the end of the world, trust me. It doesn't matter nearly as much as you think it does."

"It was a really bad grade, Eunyoung."

"Really?" she challenged. The determination in her eyes, and her grip on his hand both seemed to be hypnotizing him. She asked him, "How much did you get?"

"Ten out of forty. In math."

Her grip loosened for a moment as she stared at him, trying to process the information.

"See, it is bad," he slowly pulled away his hand because if he stayed that way any longer, he might have exploded right there.

"No," she tried to comfort him, but the insincerity was evident in her tone, "Look you need practice, that's all."

"It's no use, I'm stupid," he insisted, "I don't understand anything, and I'm always dozing off in class."

"I'll teach you," warmth crept up Eunyoung's face as she realized what she just said. There was no going back now. The thought of spending so much time with him made her feel giddy. Sunjae's eyes widened as he tried to process what she just said.

"You want to tutor me?" he confirmed, to which she nodded, "Are you sure you can handle it?"

"Sunjae, listen," she turned in her seat to face him, "You had to give up your dream. It's going to be hard to get on track with something else. You're really brave, you know. Not everyone can do what you're doing right now. I want to help you."

"Okay," he breathed.

Then they exchanged smiles, and their eyes communicated feelings that words could have never described.

💿

"Oh dear, look at you," Yumi gasped as she watched Eunyoung, drenched from head to toe, enter their house, with a grin plastered on her face and Sunjae's jacket draped over her shoulders, "Was there a thunderstorm I didn't hear of?"

"It's a long story."

"I have time," countered Yumi with determination, "And that idiotic smile on your face tells me it has something to do with a certain someone."

"You're right," Eunyoung said, still smiling, her face glowing pink, "So I was going to visit Sunjae-"

"Of course you were."

"Let me speak, for god's sake," Eunyoung insisted, the smile never leaving her face, "And I met Inhyuk, who told me he went to the swimming pool 'cause he forgot something. So, I went there, and he was sitting by the pool and sobbing. I tried to comfort him, and it worked- I think. Then, we heard a really loud crashing sound outside and we fell into the pool. It was the scariest thing ever, honestly."

"That's so cute, it's like you guys are in a rom-com," Yumi said with a slight bitterness in her voice.

"Then why does your face look like someone squeezed a lemon in your mouth?" questioned Eunyoung, "Did something happen?"

"I went to the music club today-"

"Of course you did."

Yumi sighed, "Let me finish? So I went, and I waited outside for about a thousand years. I swear it felt like I was growing old standing there. By the time I had lost all sensation in my legs, I saw Taesung petting that kitten- you know which one, and I don't know... the moment I saw him, my mind went blank, and I couldn't speak properly. He looked so miserable... and I wanted to apologize but the words just wouldn't come out."

"I would hug you but then you would be drenched too," said Eunyoung, her smile turning into one of sympathy, "It means you like him. Things will be okay, Yumi. Maybe not now, but eventually."

I don't want to wait, Yumi silently thought to herself.

☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩⋆｡° ✮

nana's notes: i really love the headers where the characters are looking at each other <3

delphi's notes: patience? who's she? yumi doesn't know her...

next chapter: saturday (out now) list of chapters here!

saw this on @kpopstanmeg 's profile and thought it was cool lmao. i actually like this colour scheme it fits my style personally (irl)