Xlvii. Unforgettable

xvii. bandaids don't fix bullet holes

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CHAPTER SEVENTEEN ─ bandaids don't fix bullet holes.

❛ who do i have to speak to about if they can change the prophecy?❜

Choi Yumi's Perspective

Meow!

The moment the shrill sound reached my ears, I looked around frantically to see where it was coming from. I hadn't seen the kitten in a few days; Now that I think about it, the last time I saw her was when Taesung was petting it. I advanced towards the bushes behind the bus stop near the music club. There it was, a tiny ball of grey fur hidden in the overgrown green shrubbery. 

I crouched down slowly and cautiously, taking a deep breath. Every instinct in me screamed to scoop up the fragile creature, but Taesung's advice echoed in my head. Blinking slowly, mimicking the cat's lazy blinks, I extended my hand, palm down. The kitten, all matted fur and wide, wary eyes, remained frozen. A pang of disappointment squeezed my heart. Maybe Taesung's advice only worked for him.

Just as she was about to withdraw her hand, a tiny pink tongue darted out, giving my fingers a tentative lick. A delighted gasp escaped my lips. The tension in the kitten's body seemed to ease, and it nudged its head against my palm, purring like a little engine. A warmth bloomed in my chest, a warmth that had nothing to do with the summer heat.

The little kitten's gestures, its soft blinking and mouth that seemed to smile, all resembled Taesung. It was as if I could see his face in front of me, unserious as ever. 

"You know, you look exactly like him," I whispered to the kitten, who was merely a clueless furball purring against the palm of my hand.

Choi Eunyoung's Perspective

It was a regular summer afternoon─ except it wasn't. The bright light from the blazing sun entered my room through the gaps of my curtain. The humidity in the air pressed upon me like a burden I had been carrying for many years. My lunch seemed to have started dancing in my stomach, making me drowsier; But there was a different something that kept me alert. My school books lay open on the desk in front of me as I sat in my spinning chair, my head leaning against the backrest. I fidgeted with the pencil in my heart.

Today wasn't just any ordinary day, it was the day of Sunjae's surgery. My left leg shook like a 4.0 magnitude earthquake, occasionally hitting the underside of my study table, sending a shooting pain through my body. My eyes fixed on the window in front of me─ Sunjae's bedroom window. I had often caught glances of him moving around his room, going about his life. The events of last week flashed before me. 

The sharp sound of his father's palm against Sunjae's face still echoed in my mind. The sound of Sunjae's frantic footsteps against the pavement coming to a sudden halt when I stopped him; Our quiet sobs as we clung onto each other, and the space between us was too clear in my head. I could practically see it unfold in front of my eyes.

A single tear traced a cool path down my cheek, a stark contrast to the prickling heat that had bloomed on my face. I reached up to wipe it away, the sterile silence of the apartment pressing down on me. But the quiet couldn't contain the storm brewing inside. My body seemed to act on autopilot, a stark contrast to the sluggish crawl of time earlier. I bolted from my chair, a desperate energy coursing through me.

"Mom! I'm going out for some time!" I yelled, the words tumbling out in a rush. The nail salon door clattered shut behind a customer as I raced down the stairs, not bothering to lace up my shoes. My mom's reply, if there was one, was lost in the pounding of my own heart. 

Everything seemed to happen so fast. Jumping into a taxi, I blurted out the name of the hospital, feeling a desperate need to be near Sunjae. Was he okay? Had the surgery gone well? I had to know. My hands reached for my skirt pocket, as a sigh of relief escaped my mouth knowing that my wallet was still there.

Bursting through the automatic doors, I skidded to a halt, chest heaving. The sterile smell of disinfectant stung my nostrils, a harsh counterpoint to the frantic questions bubbling up my throat. But before I could voice any of them, a sliver of conversation snagged my attention, pulling me towards a curtained-off area.

"...extensive damage," a doctor's voice, grave and laced with sympathy, drifted through a door left ajar. "The surgery went well, but the nerves... I'm afraid competitive swimming is out of the question."

My heart, as if it was made of glass, shattered into a million pieces scattered across the hospital floor. The world seemed to tilt on its axis, the sterile white walls morphing into a dizzying maze. Sunjae wouldn't be able to swim? The very foundation of his dreams, his passion, shattered? A strangled sob escaped my lips, the sound harsh and alien in the sterile silence. My hand flew to my mouth, muffling the sound, but the damage was done.

As I sat on the metal benches outside the room where Sunjae was, the contact of my legs against the metal was almost as cold as the reality that had been shoved in my face a few moments ago. All my feelings of self-loathing and self-doubt had become a mush in my chest as my muffled sobs echoed against the pale white hospital walls. The sitting area was almost devoid of people. The occasional nurses and doctors passing by paid no attention to the breakdown I was having.

After all, the sight of someone crying in a hospital is not an uncommon thing.

Narrator's Perspective

Sunjae emerged from the operation room, the syringe poking through his hand was a painful reminder of the doctor's words. His heart ached for the ruins of his future career, reduced to dust. He leaned against a wall, heaving a deep sigh as he felt a lump in his throat as he felt the tears forming in his eyes. Just then, the sound of muffled sobbing reached his ears before his tears could spill out. He thought he was hearing things,  but this presumption was quickly disproved as he peeked into the waiting area.

A girl sitting in solitude on the metal benches─ Eunyoung. Sunjaes heart seemed to stop at the sight. She leaned forward, her head buried in her hands as her sobs echoed through the empty hospital halls. This seemed to send a shooting pain through Sunjae. She was crying because of him, he thought to himself.

Sunjae had never felt more pathetic as he watched her from a distance, not daring to take a single step forward. 

A single tear slipped down his cheek.

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nayoung's notes: i cried while writing this btw.

delphi's notes: i think i'm emotionally attached to this cat. (the other one too)

next chapter: saturday (out now!) list of chapters here!

xxxix. looking back

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CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE ─ looking back.

❛ i vowed i would always be yours if we survived the great war ❜

Choi Yumi's Perspective

"Yumi!"

A jarring, familiar voice jerked me awake, pulling me back to reality. The moment I opened my eyes, the first thing I was met with was my reflection in the black computer screen. I found myself staring at it for a few seconds. The bags under my eyes had become severe again, my skin dull and distressed. The pile of papers and files on the desk in front of me finally made me realize that I was no longer at home, chatting with Eunyoung, but I was at work, at the law firm.

My tired eyes shifted to the person knocking at my door. It was Yunhee, my colleague who worked with me often. I gave her a slow nod as she pushed the glass door of my office open and letting herself in.

"God, Yumi, when was the last time you slept?" she said, sitting down on the chair on the other side of my desk.

I sighed as if to say "Don't even ask."

"Are you here to nag?" I asked simply, running a hand down my face, blinking rapidly in attempt to keep my eyes open, "Because if you are, you better turn around."

"Attorney Kwon is looking for you, and he looks pissed, so you better get on it," she informed matter-of-factly, "He'll be here any minute, actually." She glanced at her watch briefly, then said a quick goodbye and dashed out the door.

My eyes wandered around, scanning my office that had a sense of familiarity that made me feel nauseous. A couple of lights, wooden floors and a huge window behind me. My desk sat in the very middle of the room, looking like a toddler's craft table, with loose sheets flying everywhere. This particular time, coming back to the future felt even more horrible than before. Disappointment weighed me down as I realized how I had done nothing to change Taesung's fate. Reliving graduation was something I didn't know I needed, and I had momentarily felt my heart lighten up. But that moment during my speech...

The sound of Attorney Kwon shoving my office door and barging into my office cut off my thoughts before I could let them spiral. His flushed face, frowning brows and ears that seemed to have steam coming out from them, made me slightly frightened as I shifted uncomfortably in my chair.

"Yes, Attorney Kw-"

"What the hell's going on with the defamation case?!" he demanded, "For God's sake, everyone's talking about the scene Hajun caused in court yesterday! How could you be so careless? Despite being his senior!"

I felt the itch in me to fight back and argue, but knowing me, it would probably cost me my job, so all I said to him was, "Sorry, sir. I'll make sure it doesn't happen again."

"You better!" he snapped, before seeing himself out, muttering under his breath.

A sigh of absolute exhaustion left my mouth as I rested my head on my desk. Running my fingers through my hair, I pondered on how pathetic my life had been. Even after getting not one, but two chances to go back into the past, I had changed nearly nothing. My life had become even more miserable, with the added regret that I felt for not being able to do anything differently. For letting opportunities slip away while I sat around like an idiot. Looking back on everything that had happened, I realized that not only had I ruined my own life, but I had also dragged someone down with me. Someone I loved.

💿

Choi Eunyoung's Perspective

"Interview with Ryu Sunjae?" I repeated the words that sounded in my ears like an echo of my undeniable love for Sunjae. Just a moment ago, I had been dozing off at my desk, but hearing those words from the head of entertainment department, I felt suddenly awake and alert. I stole a quick look at the calendar on my desk; It read 2nd January, 2023. I had to bite back the gasp that almost left my mouth. He was alive. His fate had changed. The very thought of it made me want to break into tears of pure relief and happiness. It made me want to run through the streets, screaming from joy.

"Yeah, I recommended your name for it," Seoyoon said to me as I realized my celebrations would have to wait. "I just need your confirmation, so it becomes official. Though, if you're not up for it, there are plenty of people willing to do it. I just thought you would like something like this, you know-"

"I'll do it," I blurted out hastily, my voice practically trembling with excitement.

"Great! Just sign here," she handed me a paper. As I scribbled my signature on the piece of paper, my stomach filled with butterflies just like the very first time I met Sunjae. He had signed my CD, and our fingers brushed ever so slightly- and I thought I would explode right there like some sort of nuclear bomb. He was alive. The seemingly stupid paper airplane trick had done it's magic.

I handed the paper to Seoyoon, beaming. She seemed to notice my newfound enthusiasm, and smiled back. "You know, Miss Choi, some of us found that old article you wrote about the swim team of Jagam High School. I hope you don't mind me asking, but is it really you? Did you go to school with the Ryu Sunjae?"

"Yes, it's true," I answered with a chuckle, "It's amazing how you found that. It's been- what? Fifteen years? I was on the newspaper and I was assigned the interview, and that's when I realized how good I was at it- if I do say so myself."

"That's incredible, Miss!" she exclaimed, "No wonder everyone at the office looks up to you. I have to get going, but you're such an inspiration."

"Oh, you're too kind," I smiled, feeling warmth bloom in my heart.

Choi Yumi's Perspective

Leaving the courtroom, feeling as if the very life had been sucked out of me, I felt my phone buzz in my pocket. Puzzled, I took it out, wondering who would be calling me at that hour when I was just going home. Slightly annoyed, I sat down on one of the benches nearby, only to find it to be an unknown contact. My movement was full of hesitation as I accepted the call.

"Hello, Choi Yumi speaking."

"I need a lawyer."

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nana's notes: y'all have no idea what's coming 🫢

delphi's notes: yumi's dark circles making a comeback

next chapter: saturday (out now!) list of chapters here!

xliv. truths unspoken

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CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR ─ truths unspoken.

❛ cause i'm not gonna be the one to get hurt ❜

Choi Yumi's Perspective

"Your name's Yumi, right?"

I nearly jumped out of my skin upon hearing an unfamiliar voice call out to me. There was a sense of busyness in the air as all the students got off the train in as little chaos as possible (of course, that didn't mean no chaos). Concerned students who lost their luggage and belongings yelling for help, people taking pictures the moment they exited the train, and I also heard someone say they swallowed mouthwash. 

In this sea of havoc, I look around restlessly, searching for a tall tower surfing through the crowd that was Eunyoung. I didn't want to make any awkward conversation with people from university who I barely remembered. Unlike me, Eunyoung's college experience was quite pleasant from what I remember, so I thought she would be a great help in conversing with these insufferable people.

Even with all this going on, a scruffy-looking guy had managed to approach me with a rather unpleasant grin on his face, as if he was going to make pork chops out of me.

"How do you know me?" I asked, taking a step back, dragging my suitcase along in case he happened to be a theif.

"I know a lot of things," he said smugly, "The name's Minjun. I'm your sunbae."

"What do you want, sunbaenim?" I took another step back, praying for Eunyoung to appear soon.

(note- sunbae or sunbaenim means senior in korean!)

"What do I want?" he repeated slowly, the creepy smirk never leaving his face. I gave him my best scowl, which seemed to throw him off.

"Yes, that's what I asked you," I said, daring to take a menacing step towards him, "Did you understand it or do you want me to spell it out?"

"Let's go-"

"Sunbaenim!" snapped a comforting, familiar voice from behind. I heaved a sigh of relief on seeing Eunyoung's face. She shot him a sarcastic smile, "The rest of your cocky friends are over there, arranging the chairs. So, why don't you do something useful and help them out, hmm? And stay away from my sister before she files a restraining order."

Minjun frowned and turned to leave muttering something offensive under his breath. Eunyoung stood at Yumi's side, rolling her eyes at the boy. "He's got some nerve."

"Never been happier to see you," I said, clinging to her arm.

"That's nice of you."

"I didn't mean it like that."

"I know you didn't, I'm just messing with you."

"I'm just worked up," I groaned quietly, "How do you know the guy anyways?"

"Oh I remember him very well. He was the guy who got kicked out because of a drug scandal, remember?" the moment Eunyoung said that, all the movement around us ceased as time stopped for a brief second before springing into action again.

"I keep forgetting that happens," Eunyoung chuckled.

"Yeah," I returned a smile, feeling lighter than before, "Now that you say that, I do remember Minjun sunbae. He was trying to hit on me before we got onto the train too, but I basically ran away. He was always insufferable, huh? "

"Yup."

While my eyes wandered the landscape mindlessly, I spotted the Eclipse members approaching. For a split second, I found myself locking eyes with Taesung before jerkily looking away, turning to look at the tall pine trees, that had never looked more interesting.

"Hey!" Eunyoung greeted them enthusiastically. I watched as her and Sunjae's eyes locked ever so naturally, as if it was planned out beforehand; and then he shot her a smile, which she returned. Looking at them, it made me wonder whether something like that could ever happen between me and-

"Hi!" said Inhyuk, breaking my train of thoughts, "How was your journey?"

"It was pretty okay," I answered, trying my best to sound nonchalant, avoiding Taesung's gaze entirely.

"I was sleeping for most of it," Eunyoung chimed in.

"Me too," Sunjae beamed. Inhyuk smirked at him knowingly, as if to say "And you spent the rest of your time admiring Eunyoung from afar." Which was probably true.

I found myself giving in to temptation and stealing a glance at Taesung, only to find him already looking, which made my face erupt with heat. I watched his eyes move down my face, looking at my scar- the stubborn thing that refused to go away, then, he quickly shifted his gaze to my eyes. He stared at me silently for a moment before saying, "My journey was okay as well."

"Good to know," I said, stretching my lips into a straight line and nodding awkwardly. I probably looked like an idiot.

💿

After some chitchat with the group, we moved to the tents to unpack. I was glad that the girls majoring in Journalism and Practical Music were in the same tent because I remembered how painfully awkward and weird it was to sleep next to a stranger I barely knew last time.

When I decided to venture out to check out the scenery, I ran into Inhyuk.

"Yumi, hey," he said.

"Oh, hi," I replied, feeling pleasantly surprised, "Thank god, it's you."

"Who'd you think I was?" he asked with an amused chuckle.

"Minjun sunbae," I rolled my eyes, "The field trip hasn't even properly started, but he's already tried to hit on me twice. It's exhausting."

"Damn, that's terrible," he sympathized, "He's such a weirdo. Every time I look at him, the voices inside my head start screaming- FRAT BOY."

I let out a laugh at his attempt to cheer me up, "You're so right!"

"How's your injury?" he asked gently after a few moments.

"It doesn't hurt anymore," I told him, smiling through the pain of remembering the accident, "Just the scar is too prominent for my taste."

"I think it looks cool," he decided.

"You can have it," I chuckled, which he reciprocated.

"Jokes apart," he said, looking serious, "How have you been doing?"

"As okay as I can be," I sighed, looking at the forests surrounding the tents, "It's not exactly a pleasant memory, you know."

"It gets better with time."

We stayed quiet for quite some time. But it was a comfortable silence. One that represented mutual understanding and agreement.

"By the way," he said after a while, "Have you seen Sunjae anywhere?"

"No," I began, "But Eunyoung stepped out before me, so that should answer your question."

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nana's notes: yumi and taesung have no idea what's coming 👀

delphi's notes: stay tuned ;)

next chapter: friday list of chapters here!

It's my 1 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳

omg 😭 i cant believe its been a year!!

´）﹒✶ easy they come, easy they go . . . ( +💿 )

xv. echoes of yesterday

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CHAPTER FIFTEEN ─ echoes of yesterday.

❛ if i may just take your breath away, i don't mind if there's not much to say. ❜

Narrator's Perspective

"Eunyoung?" Inhyuk called out her name as she turned to look at him, "I thought you might be here."

Eunyoung stared at him blankly for a few moments, trying to figure out who he was, until she realised he was Inhyuk. Her eyebrows shot up in a moment of realization, "Oh it's you, Inhyuk! You were at Sunjae's swimming competition, right?"

"Yeah that's me," he breathed out, "I'm surprised you remember."

"I have a good memory," Eunyoung smiled politely, "Sunjae stayed over at your place, didn't he?"

Inhyuk nodded in agreement, "You're right, he did. He didn't come to school today."

"I figured," there was a bittersweet taste on her tongue as she recalled the various events of the previous day, "How's he feeling? He was heartbroken yesterday; first the doctor's words then his father's..."

"He won't tell me anything," Inhyuk complained, frowning, "He only told me about his shoulder."

"He couldn't get himself to talk to his dad about it," explained Eunyoung, looking down as she recalled the conversation she overheard, "Can you try to get him to tell his dad? He needs to know. Sunjae might act tough, but these are though times, and he needs all the support he can get."

"I will," Inhyuk assured. After a pause, he added, "Sunjae's really grateful for your support too. He didn't say much, but he mentioned how you were there for him. I wanted to say thanks from his behalf."

"There's no need to thank me," Eunyoung smiled, "What are friends for?"

Kim Taesung's Perspective

I caught a glimpse of Yumi from accross the fence dividing the boys and girls schools. My gaze fixed on her face; Her long hair fell messily on her shoulders, the breeze sending a few strands flying in random directions. A wide smile lit up her face as she laughed with her friend. The cigarette from my hand fell to the ground as my grip loosened without meaning to. Its soft thump on the pavement broke my focus and I put it out with my foot.

The lunch bell clanged, jarring me back to reality. I blinked, the bustling crowd of students a harsh contrast to the empty space where Yumi had stood moments ago. My feet, traitors that they were, hadn't moved an inch while I was lost in the memory of her.  An inexplainable feeling lingered in my heart, recalling the last time I encountered her. Her hair seemed to fall perfectly and her face seemed to be sculpted by the gods.

"Maybe I should quit smoking..."

💿

I found myself becoming increasingly foolish as I acted on impulse rather than rational thinking. To be fair, I had made quite a few impromtu descisions that didn't turn out in the best way; But this was different. Since I started taking my motorcycle to school, I had always taken a shortcut, which allowed me to reach home within fifteen minutes. It was quick and convinient, and it had worked for me.

The final strains of band practice faded into the background, a dull ache settling in my fingers from the worn strings of my guitar. Today, however, the usual post-practice routine held no appeal. Instead, a strange compulsion tugged at me, leading my feet towards the unfamiliarity of the music club exit.

There, I lurked like a lovesick fool in a bad spy movie, trying my hardest to appear nonchalant. Every fiber of my being screamed "obvious stalker," but dammit, if my Oscar-worthy performance didn't deserve an award. 

The bus doors hissed open as Yumi momentariy dissapeared from my sight. My heart hammered a frantic rhythm against my ribs as I raced to my bike, a silent vow forming on my lips. "Stay cool," I muttered, the words muffled by the helmet that encased my head. "Just a casual bike ride on a beautiful day, nothing suspicious to see here."

Except, the day wasn't particularly beautiful, the traffic was a congested nightmare, and my definition of "casual" had never involved weaving recklessly between lanes, desperately trying to keep the bus in sight. Finally, a sliver of victory – I found myself gliding beside Yumi's window, mirroring her movements on two wheels.

A ghost of a smile played on my lips, hidden beneath the confines of the helmet. Her profile was a masterpiece, framed by the bustling cityscape. Yet, a pang of guilt twisted in my gut. Was this the kind of guy I wanted to be? A creepy stalker on a bicycle? Or maybe, just maybe, there was a fine line between devotion and desperation, and I was teetering precariously on the edge.

Narrator's Perspective

"Since mom wasn't home last night, Sunjae and I came upstairs. We sat there talking for sometime, and then it almost seemed like he was going to..." Eunyoung's voice trailed off as the scene replayed in her mind. Warmth crept up her face, recalling their proximity. Thinking of the moment now felt like it was a fragment of her imagination as she questioned whether it really happened. The real question, a silent scream echoing in the chambers of her heart, was: had she truly fallen for him? This wasn't the blind adoration she'd felt for him back in her "Eclipse" phase, a time when his brooding good looks and mysterious aura had captivated her from afar. This was different. This was a closeness born of shared secrets, whispered conversations in the dead of night, and a connection that transcended the superficial.

"What?" Yumi inquired, itching with curiosity, "Can you stop trailing off like that? You've done that too many times. I'm starting to question your storytelling skills."

"Nothing," Eunyoung evaded the topic entirely, not wanting to get caught up in her emotions, "It's not important. I'm really worried now. Can I really change things? Do I have that kind of power or was I lying to myself this whole time? I'm afraid of loosing him now more than ever. I'm scared, Yumi."

Yumi placed a supportive hand on Eunyoung's shoulder, "You really think it was a coincidence that you came here with the help of Sunjae's signed CD after Sunjae's death? It's not over yet, trust me."

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nayoung's notes: yumi being the supportive bestie that she is. hope u liked thiss!

delphi's notes: fRiEnds you sayyyy.

next chapter: saturday (out now!) (sorry for the late update) list of chapters here!

xxxvi. those eyes

☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩⋆｡° ✮

CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX ─ those eyes.

❛ we got nothing else to do, and nothing else to lose ❜

Choi Eunyoung's Perspective

Time seemed to be rolling by as I tried my best to help Sunjae with algebra. His dread had considerably reduced, and I thought it was good enough. I had given him a few problems to solve on his own, and I was sitting with my back turned to him. I couldn't help but stare at the pictures on the shelf of Sunjae at his swimming tournaments. So many of them decked the walls. It made me realize just how huge his swimming career must have been. I could almost feel his hurt when he was forced to quit. It filled me with a strange determination and protectiveness. I wanted to save him so desperately.

Then there were other, rather trivial and silly thoughts racing through my mind. Even with wet hair sticking to his face, he looked as handsome as ever. The teenager inside me seemed to be staring at his astonishing figure. I had never realized how incredible his proportions were. Wide shoulders with a torso that tapered towards the waist. I quickly looked away, hot-faced.

I shifted my gaze to my bedroom window which I could see from Sunjae's window. They were so close by. My mind couldn't fathom how all these years, I had been so close to Sunjae; If I had just opened my eyes and sought him out...

Fate had brought us together by some miracle that even I couldn't explain. It was magic. Like some kind of supernatural forces were working to bring us closer. My heart yearned to hold onto the hope that destiny would do it's part and Sunjae would get the happy ending he deserved. Every night was me shutting down the self-doubt that I didn't have the power to change anything.

My eyes fell on the clock, and that was when I realized we had been studying for more than two hours. I quickly shifted back to where Sunjae was sitting, and found him sleeping silently with his head resting on his hands. A smile surfaced on my face. You've worked hard, Sunjae. I placed my two hands on the space next to him and rested my head in a way that I could look at him. My eyes examined his features, as if I was trying to memorize every little detail on his face. His eyes were shut softly, his face showing no signs of discomfort or pain. This is how I wished him to be forever. At peace. The moment my gaze landed on his lips, it was as if a magnetic force prevented me from looking away. Perfect, pillowy... they looked so soft. My mind wandered back to the time we had almost kissed- maybe that was my imagination? I had no idea.

Then, his eyes opened slowly, blinkingly. I was taken aback, but I remained motionless, unable to divert my gaze. At first, I witnessed a confusion in his eyes and then we seemed to melt into each other's gaze. In that moment, our eyes seemed to be delivering professions of love our mouths could never have the courage to voice.

To shatter the moment, the turn of the doorknob sounded in the room, and we weren't nearly quick enough to pull away when Sunjae's dad entered the room. We were suddenly jerked awake, back to reality in an instant. I sat up completely straight, blinking rapidly. 

"Oh, dear, I'm sorry, I-" Sunjae's dad trailed off, a smirk appearing on his face. He backed away, closing the door, leaving me and Sunjae in a state of awkwardness.

"Talk about bad timing," Sunjae muttered, in response to which Eunyoung forced out a chuckle. Did he really have to walk in at that moment? 

"I should get going then," I said, rubbing the back of my neck and gathering my books, "It's been, what, two hours? Let's continue next time?"

"Yeah," he said. Neither of us seemed to know what to say or how to act, "What about the practice problems?"

"Homework?"

He laughed, and it almost sounded genuine. I smiled at him.

"Thanks," he called out just as I was leaving, following me down the staircase, "Thanks for doing this for me."

"Anytime."

When we came down to the living room, it was almost as if his dad had been waiting, smirking this whole time. I didn't have it in me to say anything to him, so I gave him a quick bow as I made my way to the front door, Sunjae close behind me. Just before I went home, our eyes met once again. Our lips stretched into a smile, as if it was instinct. And then I was off. 

Despite my evident embarrassment, the moment in Sunjae's room had made one thing astonishingly clear. I was in love with Ryu Sunjae, and there was no going back.

💿

On reaching home, I was met with a full on interrogation by my mother. Her flushed face and eyes wide with rage made me realize that she must have fought with Yumi. A sense of guilt washed over me because I couldn't help Yumi as much as I hoped to.

"Where were you?" she asked me, her voice irritable.

"I was at Sunjae's house," I explained calmly, "I'm helping him study."

She went quiet, and sat down on the couch. I took the seat beside her and grabbed her hand, "It's not Taesung's fault, you know," I said gently.

"I know..." she whispered.

💿

I sat in my room, deep in thought as my mind replayed todays events over and over. I had the most trivial anxieties racing through my brain. I sat staring at Sunjae's window, trying to make sense of the mess in me. I could practically see Sunjae's eyes staring into mine. I didn't want to get my hopes up by thinking that Sunjae replicated my feelings. At the same time, the fear of losing him crept in my mind, gnawing on my self- doubt.

I scribbled another note on a piece of paper- "If you ask for flowers, don't be surprised if it starts to rain. The hardships you're facing are only temporary. Happier days are coming."

The moment after the paper airplane landed on Sunjae's window, my phone buzzed, interrupting my train of thoughts. It was a text message from my father.

Eunyoung, I want to meet you, I've missed you.

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nana's notes: this chapter was a whole rollercoaster ride tbh

delphi's notes: someone check on yumi pls

next chapter: saturday (out now!) list of chapters here!

(つ﹏<。) . . . everybody said "don't rush into things," then you flashed your green eyes at me ﹢ヾ𓈒⁀➷

the fanart is by gus__pa on instagram! i found it on pinterest, so dm me if you want it removed!

I WANT RANPOE TO ADOPT ME THEY ARE ADORABLE

xxix. blackout

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CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE ─ blackout.

❛ life is emotionally abusive and time can't stop me quite like you did ❜

Choi Yumi's Perspective

My eyes scanned my surroundings. White walls, busy chattering, phones ringing everywhere and a sense of urgency and busyness in the air. A police station. I looked down at myself. I was back in my formal attire- trousers, white shirt, blazer, that kind of stuff. Although I may have looked normal on the outside, I felt weird. I had never felt this way since my first day of work, and I could scarcely describe the feeling. Everything seemed new, and foreign, even though it was the same work I had done for most of my adult life. Maybe it was nostalgia because of the strange ache and longing in my heart.

Being a lawyer wasn't something I enjoyed. In fact, the last thing I enjoyed... I don't even want to think about it. I would feel a rush of adrenaline after winning a case, then the sense of emptiness would soon return to engulf me. It was an endless cycle that I was stuck in. 

There are certain cases that I receive that require me to go to the police station. This was one of them. I fiddled my thumbs anxiously- as if it was my first day on the job. I felt like an idiot; Which usually means something out of the ordinary was about to happen, so I braced myself accordingly. I had previously met the police when they came to my law firm, but today I had to meet a detective because it was a case of murder.

All of a sudden, an extremely familiar fragrance hit my nose. It came so unexpectedly that I nearly convinced myself that I was imagining it; but the reality was so evident. Slightly woody notes, like sun-warmed cedarwood and a sudden freshness, as if I was standing on a beach at dawn. The air around me was left fresh and alive and the scent was intoxicating and my mind wandered back to the first time I smelled it. It was almost as if I was back in high school, standing in the perfume shop, carefully picking out the perfect present.

I stood up, and taking a second to steady myself, I turned around rapidly to find myself face to face with a face even more familiar than the fragrance. I was met with those same beady cat eyes, but they seemed to have lost their spark. Kim Taesung. A voice in my head whispered his name, trying to grasp the reality in front of me. His disheveled hair had become tamer, and his bright and colorful apparel was replaced with hues of grey and black with a splash of olive green. He looked dull and dejected, and the glint of mischief had disappeared from his eyes. I had recognized him instantly, because his face had been imprinted in my mind. The rapid beating of my heart sounded in my ears, just like it had fifteen years ago. Yet, he looked like a completely different person. It was like someone had switched off the lights inside him.

"Choi Yumi?" he said it like a question mark, his eyebrows raised slightly.

"Do you two know each other?" the police officer behind him asked, confused. For a moment, his words his words faded away and I stood entranced before Kim Taesung, staring blankly. I felt the same I had the first time I saw him. But now, there was a rift between us that was too evident. He seemed so far away even though he was right in front of me. Something that was once new, fresh and full of hope had withered like flowers during the winter. 

"It's been a while," I said, snapping out of my trance, my lips curling upwards ever so slightly. My hand reached up subconsciously to rub the back of my neck.

He simply nodded, shifting his gaze at the ground and his effort to keep it professional was evident, and I would have laughed if I could, but I kept my lips zipped shut when the sound disappeared on the tip of my tongue.

The police officer who I had previously met (who's name I had already forgotten) looked at me curiously, probably hoping I could answer his earlier question.

"We went to the same high school," I told him curtly, plastering a fake smile and turning to look at Taesung, but never meeting his gaze. My eyes glazed over the badge on his jacket. Violent Crimes Division. It felt surreal that he had become a detective- just like his dad. 

Then, suddenly, our eyes met, and time seemed to freeze that exact moment. They're so dull. I thought to myself. I couldn't get over how depressed his eyes looked, like the spark had disappeared. They looked like they were crying out for help. It pained me to look at him that way, and a small part of me pointed an accusing finger at me. Was it my fault? Another voice in my head said that it was unfair. And that he didn't deserve to feel sad. I watched as his eyes shifted to the scar on my face, then shifted back to my eyes, as if he couldn't bear to look at my eyes. The look of pity on his face made me want to cry and scream.

I tore my eyes away, looking at the other police officer. I stole a quick glance at his badge, then said with my best professional smile, "Shall we begin?"

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nana's notes: not yumi forgetting the other police officer's name 😭✋

delphi's notes: and this kids is why adulthood fucking suuuucks.(this pair of adults are not the best example though)

next chapter: saturday (out now!) list of chapters here!

. ˚  · ( 🍒 ) we were drivin❜ the getaway car . . .

★☆ 𝓝ana, she/her, @iheart-nana