Xl. Whispers From The Past

i had scheduled this april 19th but it got posted early?!!

﹒ʬʬ , all's fair in love & poetry

and isn't it just so pretty to think? that all along there was some invisible string tying you to me . . . ✩★

like the moodboard? it's a teaser for an upcoming fanfic! make sure u follow me and stay tuned! thank you, bye!! <33

so obsessed with her lately 🍓 PS: sorry for the post and ghost 🫢🤐 edit: HELP- i was supposed to post this on my sideblog TT

l. all because i liked a boy

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CHAPTER FIFTY ─ all because i liked a boy.

❛ i still know you as that kind-hearted guy, but i know the way we're talking can't be fine ❜

Choi Eunyoung's Perspective

"Especially since Sunjae is going away today-"

"What?" I interrupted Yumi, feeling a pang in my chest the moment those words left her mouth, "What did you just say?"

Yumi's eyebrows furrowed. She had been spending a lot of time with the Taesung since they had started "dating"- which wasn't the best idea in my humble opinion, but I had more pressing matters on my mind now that college had started. As a result she would often hear things about Sunjae from him.

"Don't you know?" she asked, confused, "That Sunjae's going away?"

"What do you mean by going away?" I asked, feeling pathetic on hearing the panic in my voice, "Where is he going?"

"To America," she said slowly, "For rehab."

I felt my heart sink. I dug my fingernails into the palm of my hand, looking down, trying to blink away the tears forming in my eyes. It was incredibly foolish of me. I was tearing up thinking of the possibility of a guy going abroad. A guy who I had been hopelessly in love with for two years. I had never felt more pathetic.

"But, I'm not sure he's actually going because he-" Yumi tried consoling me, seemingly feeling guilty for speaking so carelessly.

"He should go," I said with a shaky voice, "That way, he'll never run into my dad. He'll be able to swim again. He'll be happier there. It all works out perfectly. America is safer for Sunjae than Seoul."

There was a long period of silence between us after I said that. The campus cafeteria was buzzing with gleeful chatter and the sound of steel utensils clanking against each other. I couldn't cry there. Not where so many people were watching.

"But he'll come back!" Yumi exclaimed, putting on a fake smile, but her furrowed brows gave her away, "He's not going forever. You'll see him again-"

"Oh, gosh, Yumi don't be so naive!" I said, my voice unbelievably high-pitched and defensive, "People who go abroad don't come back. You know that."

"But he-"

I stood up, picking up my plate before she could speak any further, "I'm not hungry," I muttered softly, not being able to speak normally, feeling a lump in my throat, "I'll see you at home."

I began walking back, my eyes fixed on the marble tiles. My vision blurred with tears and my heart felt as if it was being pricked by a million needles. Yet I kept walking, quickening my pace in desperation to go somewhere I could be alone. I kept my plate with half-eaten food near the counter and continued on my way out of the cafeteria, tears cascading down my cheeks I was almost out when I stopped in my tracks on seeing a pair of white shoes in front of me.

I looked up sharply, only to find none other than Sunjae staring down at me. His eyes went wide, probably confused on seeing my tear-stained face. Our eyes locked for a split second and I didn't dare open my mouth for fear of saying something impulsive again. In that fleeting moment, the world around melted away, muffling all other sounds except the sound of our breathing. I observed his eyes, how they focused on mine. I scanned his features, as if trying to memorize them for one last time. The perfect slope of his nose; I could still feel his pillowy lips when I decided to look away, and walk past him without a word.

Goodbye, Sunjae.

Ryu Sunjae's Perspective

On my way to the cafeteria, I found myself running into Eunyoung. Her demeanor confused me to no end. Her head was hung low, with her eyes fixed on the ground and her hasty pace coming to a sudden halt on seeing me. And then when she looked up, the tears in her eyes that spilled down to her cheeks seemed to twist my heart in pain. Why did she look so heartbroken? Every part of me wanted to pull her in my embrace, but I held back. Her gaze met mine for a split second. Her eyes seemed to scan my face while I frowned in confusion. Then she looked in my eyes once again, as if for the last time, and then she proceeded to walk away all without uttering a single word.

All my hunger I felt previously seemed to melt away like snow on a sunny day and I went after her, breaking into a sprint. While I had stood there hesitating, she had disappeared into the crowd of college students. But my determination to find her and talk to her remained undeterred.

Stumbling out onto the pavement near the bus stop, I found her dragging her feet along the path, walking slowly, her steps short and slow. I ran to her and took a hold of her wrist, "Eunyoung!" She turned with hesitation, cautious and wary. Her eyes and nose had gone red and my heart ached to see her tear-stained face. Her lower lip trembled and her brows furrowed when she looked at me. When the bus made a great hissing sound she turned her attention to watch it drive away.

"I'm busy," she said with a eerie chill in her voice. Turning away, she walked off once more while I was left powerless, watching her disappear into the sea of people. Unwillingly, I began walking back to the school campus while a heartbreaking realization dawned upon me. I had lost Eunyoung, perhaps forever.

While this depressing monologue went on in my head, I heard someone call out my name. 

"Sunjae! God, I'm so-" Yumi exclaimed through shaky breath, and it seemed like she had been running, "I'm so glad I found you! Have you seen- have you seen Eunyoung?"

"Yeah, she was right here-" I pointed to the bus stop. But it was too late. Eunyoung was already getting onto the bus.

"You have to go after her!" Yumi urged, "I accidently told her that you were going-"

"Going where?" I asked impatiently, my voice laced with fear.

"America," she stated plainly, "Aren't you going today?"

"What?! No!"

"Shit," she cursed, "Anyways, you have to go! I don't know what crap it is that's stopping you from cutting the bullshit and being together, but I've had it! I'm not going to stand here and watch her cry like that for the rest of her life, so you better go and find her before I-"

I was already running towards home before she could finish what she was saying.

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nana's notes: they're getting their shit together in the next chapter i promise

delphi's notes: yumi has had enough lmfao

previous chapter next chapter: friday (out now!) list of chapters here!

xvii. bandaids don't fix bullet holes

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CHAPTER SEVENTEEN ─ bandaids don't fix bullet holes.

❛ who do i have to speak to about if they can change the prophecy?❜

Choi Yumi's Perspective

Meow!

The moment the shrill sound reached my ears, I looked around frantically to see where it was coming from. I hadn't seen the kitten in a few days; Now that I think about it, the last time I saw her was when Taesung was petting it. I advanced towards the bushes behind the bus stop near the music club. There it was, a tiny ball of grey fur hidden in the overgrown green shrubbery. 

I crouched down slowly and cautiously, taking a deep breath. Every instinct in me screamed to scoop up the fragile creature, but Taesung's advice echoed in my head. Blinking slowly, mimicking the cat's lazy blinks, I extended my hand, palm down. The kitten, all matted fur and wide, wary eyes, remained frozen. A pang of disappointment squeezed my heart. Maybe Taesung's advice only worked for him.

Just as she was about to withdraw her hand, a tiny pink tongue darted out, giving my fingers a tentative lick. A delighted gasp escaped my lips. The tension in the kitten's body seemed to ease, and it nudged its head against my palm, purring like a little engine. A warmth bloomed in my chest, a warmth that had nothing to do with the summer heat.

The little kitten's gestures, its soft blinking and mouth that seemed to smile, all resembled Taesung. It was as if I could see his face in front of me, unserious as ever. 

"You know, you look exactly like him," I whispered to the kitten, who was merely a clueless furball purring against the palm of my hand.

Choi Eunyoung's Perspective

It was a regular summer afternoon─ except it wasn't. The bright light from the blazing sun entered my room through the gaps of my curtain. The humidity in the air pressed upon me like a burden I had been carrying for many years. My lunch seemed to have started dancing in my stomach, making me drowsier; But there was a different something that kept me alert. My school books lay open on the desk in front of me as I sat in my spinning chair, my head leaning against the backrest. I fidgeted with the pencil in my heart.

Today wasn't just any ordinary day, it was the day of Sunjae's surgery. My left leg shook like a 4.0 magnitude earthquake, occasionally hitting the underside of my study table, sending a shooting pain through my body. My eyes fixed on the window in front of me─ Sunjae's bedroom window. I had often caught glances of him moving around his room, going about his life. The events of last week flashed before me. 

The sharp sound of his father's palm against Sunjae's face still echoed in my mind. The sound of Sunjae's frantic footsteps against the pavement coming to a sudden halt when I stopped him; Our quiet sobs as we clung onto each other, and the space between us was too clear in my head. I could practically see it unfold in front of my eyes.

A single tear traced a cool path down my cheek, a stark contrast to the prickling heat that had bloomed on my face. I reached up to wipe it away, the sterile silence of the apartment pressing down on me. But the quiet couldn't contain the storm brewing inside. My body seemed to act on autopilot, a stark contrast to the sluggish crawl of time earlier. I bolted from my chair, a desperate energy coursing through me.

"Mom! I'm going out for some time!" I yelled, the words tumbling out in a rush. The nail salon door clattered shut behind a customer as I raced down the stairs, not bothering to lace up my shoes. My mom's reply, if there was one, was lost in the pounding of my own heart. 

Everything seemed to happen so fast. Jumping into a taxi, I blurted out the name of the hospital, feeling a desperate need to be near Sunjae. Was he okay? Had the surgery gone well? I had to know. My hands reached for my skirt pocket, as a sigh of relief escaped my mouth knowing that my wallet was still there.

Bursting through the automatic doors, I skidded to a halt, chest heaving. The sterile smell of disinfectant stung my nostrils, a harsh counterpoint to the frantic questions bubbling up my throat. But before I could voice any of them, a sliver of conversation snagged my attention, pulling me towards a curtained-off area.

"...extensive damage," a doctor's voice, grave and laced with sympathy, drifted through a door left ajar. "The surgery went well, but the nerves... I'm afraid competitive swimming is out of the question."

My heart, as if it was made of glass, shattered into a million pieces scattered across the hospital floor. The world seemed to tilt on its axis, the sterile white walls morphing into a dizzying maze. Sunjae wouldn't be able to swim? The very foundation of his dreams, his passion, shattered? A strangled sob escaped my lips, the sound harsh and alien in the sterile silence. My hand flew to my mouth, muffling the sound, but the damage was done.

As I sat on the metal benches outside the room where Sunjae was, the contact of my legs against the metal was almost as cold as the reality that had been shoved in my face a few moments ago. All my feelings of self-loathing and self-doubt had become a mush in my chest as my muffled sobs echoed against the pale white hospital walls. The sitting area was almost devoid of people. The occasional nurses and doctors passing by paid no attention to the breakdown I was having.

After all, the sight of someone crying in a hospital is not an uncommon thing.

Narrator's Perspective

Sunjae emerged from the operation room, the syringe poking through his hand was a painful reminder of the doctor's words. His heart ached for the ruins of his future career, reduced to dust. He leaned against a wall, heaving a deep sigh as he felt a lump in his throat as he felt the tears forming in his eyes. Just then, the sound of muffled sobbing reached his ears before his tears could spill out. He thought he was hearing things,  but this presumption was quickly disproved as he peeked into the waiting area.

A girl sitting in solitude on the metal benches─ Eunyoung. Sunjaes heart seemed to stop at the sight. She leaned forward, her head buried in her hands as her sobs echoed through the empty hospital halls. This seemed to send a shooting pain through Sunjae. She was crying because of him, he thought to himself.

Sunjae had never felt more pathetic as he watched her from a distance, not daring to take a single step forward. 

A single tear slipped down his cheek.

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nayoung's notes: i cried while writing this btw.

delphi's notes: i think i'm emotionally attached to this cat. (the other one too)

next chapter: saturday (out now!) list of chapters here!

x. a taste of victory

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CHAPTER TEN ─ a taste of victory.

❛ where's the trophy? he just

comes running over to me. ❜

Narrator's Perspective

"By the way," Inhyuk said to Sunjae the morning of the swimming competition, "Where is your Eunyoung today?"

Your Eunyoung. The moment those words fell upon Sunjae's ears, he beamed, flashing the dimple on his right cheek. His face turned pink, recalling the events of the previous evening.

"Oh, dear," Inhyuk expressed, "You should look at yourself right now! You're completely in love with her!"

"She's coming to cheer for me," Sunjae told him proudly, "She was telling me to take it easy and not participate, but when she told me that she'd come today, she seemed to have faith in me. So, I'll make sure not to let her down."

"You can't seem to stop yapping when it comes to her," Inhyuk observed, a cheeky smile surfacing on his face, "Don't tell me she's the reason you're competing today!"

"It's not like that!" Sunjae exclaimed defensively, "It's just... another reason to do well. That's it."

Inhyuk shook his head in disappointment. Sunjae was the last person he expected to fall for someone and act like a total loser.

But, after all, we're all fools in love.

💿

Minutes ticked by, each one echoing like a hammer blow in the tense silence before the competition. Sunjae, clad in his racing suit, felt a familiar knot of anxiety tighten in his stomach. He scanned the crowd, searching for a familiar face amidst the sea of spectators. Doubt, a cold serpent, began to coil around his heart. Would she make it? Had something happened? His focus, so meticulously honed, threatened to shatter.

Then, just as despair threatened to consume him, a splash of pink cut through the cacophony of pre-race jitters. There, in the stands, was Eunyoung. His face broke into a radiant smile, a beacon that chased away the shadows of doubt. She wore a soft pink dress, the colour a burst of life against the sterile white walls of the pool complex. A white cardigan draped gracefully over her shoulders, adding a touch of elegance.

As she made her way down the rows, a revelation struck Sunjae. He'd never truly noticed how tall she was. Even in her simple white flats, she seemed to carry herself with a quiet confidence. Yesterday, on their walk together, her head must have brushed his ear. Suddenly, the way they walked side-by-side, a memory from only a day ago, took on a new meaning. His gaze lingered on her, a wave of warmth washing over him. The familiar knot of anxiety loosened its grip, replaced by a surge of determination. He wouldn't just swim this race, he would win it. For her.

Simultaneously, a smile surfaced on both their faces as their eyes met. She waved at him, mouthing "good luck," as she took a seat in front of the railing that separated the pool and seating area. Behind her was a group of Sunjae's supporters, wearing t-shirts with messages cheering him on and shouting messages of encouragement. Eunyoung's erect posture was just a disguise for her nervousness. Despite her earnest wish for Sunjae to complete this race without injuries, worry rose in her chest. Please prove me wrong, Sunjae.

The pool stretched before her, a shimmering lane of blue below her. In the water, a blur of movement─ that was Sunjae, his powerful strokes propelling him forward with a focused intensity.

This was the final stretch, the culmination of years of gruelling training. Every flick of his wrist, every powerful kick, echoed in Eunyoung's chest. A tendinous strain, a cramp, a single misstep – any of these could shatter Sunjae's dreams of gold. She squeezed her eyes shut, willing her anxieties away, willing him strength.

Then, the electronic board pinged, and the crowd erupted in a deafening roar. Eunyoung snapped her eyes open, heart leaping into her throat. Sunjae was surging towards the finish, his form flawless, his determination etched on his face. He touched the touchpad a fraction of a second before anyone else, and the stadium lights seemed to dim for a moment before exploding in a kaleidoscope of colours.

Sunjae emerged from under the water, shaking off the hair stuck to his forehead, running his hands down his face, attempting to clear his vision. As he turned to look at the scoreboard, his joy knew no bounds as he saw his name at the top of the list. Letting out a euphoric yelp of victory, he pumped his fists in the air with a triumphant grin on his face.

Eunyoung's eyes had begun to well up with tears of happiness that she couldn't hold back no matter how hard she tried. The shouts from Sunjae's friends and supporters around her muffled as if it was a faraway sound; the only thing she could hear was the excited beating of her heart. She placed a hand over her chest in disbelief at what she had just witnessed.

Sunjae's eyes scanned the stands impatiently, only wanting to look at one person. As their eyes met, his smile widened, the dimple on his right cheek making a reappearance. The tears in Eunyoung's eyes spilt, blurring her vision as she returned his smile, her throat choking with tears. At that moment, the rest of the world seemed to melt away, leaving them alone, their eyes giving a million soliloquies their mouths could never.

Eunyoung's legs propelled her forwards as she ran past the crowd, down the stairs, straight towards Sunjae. It was as if her body had began to move on its own, not wasting a single second on thinking. Her desperation to get rid of the distance between them reflected in her teary, glassy eyes as she stood in front of him, the smile never leaving her face. Their gaze was fixed on each other.

Without a second thought, she reached for him, wrapping her arms around his bare torso that dripped with little droplets of water. She felt her clothes becoming moist, but couldn't care less at that moment. Her embrace enveloped him in warmth as she smiled wider, the joy of his victory a physical force she needed to press against. She couldn't believe it. He had won the gold medal! His fate had taken a turn for the better.

Sunjae's eyes widened at the sudden contact of her soft hands that clung onto him. She hugged him with such force that the deep blue towel he wore fell backwards, exposing his toned shoulders in a moment of vulnerability. The feeling of her soft cardigan against his bare torso and the tiny point of contact of her palms against his back sparked an unexplainable warmth inside him. He coughed out a surprised laugh, the coolness of his moist skin a stark contrast to the fire that flared at her touch. Years of training had honed his muscles, and Eunyoung, clung to him with a possessiveness that sent a shiver down his spine. The shock he felt countered his exhaustion that threatened to pull him under.

He wrapped his arms around her just as fiercely; The weight of the race, the pressure of expectation─ it all melted away in the press of her body against his.  Under the deafening cacophony of cheers, there was only them, her skin tingling against his, a shared victory written in the frantic dance of their heartbeats. He buried his face in her hair, the scent of chlorine and victory mingling with the familiar sweetness of her shampoo, a perfect encapsulation of this overwhelming moment. In that tight embrace, their bodies spoke a language far more profound than any roar of the crowd, a language of love and pride that resonated in the echoing silence of his own racing heart.

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nayoung's notes: okay, taemi content in the next chapter, i promise. kinda got carried away with this lol. its already 1310 words and if i continue i may never stop. also, now that it think about it, the chapter title is implying something entirely different... ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

delphi's notes: sunjae's pov speaks volumes about his feelings. he's down bad guys. who's surprised? not me (but then again i helped decide this lolol)

next chapter: friday (out now!)

list of chapters here!

(+📜)    dear reader ,

when you aim at the devil 𓈒 𓇼ㅤׂ make sure you don't miss.

like the moodboard? it's a teaser for an upcoming fanfic! make sure u follow me and stay tuned! thank you, bye!! <33

﹒ ʬʬ ﹒₊﹒✶﹑kissin' and hope they caught us﹏ ﹪

like the moodboard? it's a teaser for an upcoming fanfic! make sure u follow me and stay tuned! thank you, bye!! <33

oc by: @the-one-and-only-delphi

xxi. clarity in the darkness

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CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE ─ clarity in the darkness.

❛ and i know i make the same mistakes every time. ❜

Choi Yumi's Perspective

See, I've always prided myself on the fact that I had the ability to make rational decisions. That's why, when I stood in the dark hallways of Jagam High School after hours with the Eclipse members and Sunjae, I felt like the biggest idiot to ever walk this Earth. What had gotten into me? Why in god's name would I ever agree to something like this? I felt like slapping myself for getting swayed by Inhyuk's persuasion. However, there was another storm brewing in my mind that haunted my thoughts. I was doing this for Taesung. For his birthday. I refused to let myself think of it.

"Hyunsoo," hissed Inhyuk.

"What?" he responded in a similar fashion.

"Stop breathing so loudly," he made an effort to keep his volume as low as possible, "You're going to wake the dead."

"Shut your trap."

"Um, Guys?" Sunjae intervened, "We've been standing at the door for a while. Don't you think we should start looking?"

"He's right, we should get it over with and vamoose before anyone catches us," I chimed in.

"Where do you think all the student records are kept?" asked Inhyuk. Despite all our efforts to speak as quietly as possible, our voices echoed in the empty hallways.

"Let's check the staff room?" I suggested.

We moved like a gang of thieves, sticking close to each other as fear gripped our bones. A cold gush of wind sent a shiver through my body as we inched closer to the staff room. I never realised I was such a coward until now. Paranoia had consumed me entirely. I dreaded the consequences of this reckless adventure. Someone speaks an octave too high, someone drops a heavy object, one small mistake and they all would be dead meat.

We were faced with the extensive staff room, and rows of tables and chairs, sending confusion through us all.  "Do you know where his homeroom teacher sits?"

"Here," said Hyunsoo, Eclipse's drummer. He followed him to a desk by the door. Inhyuk took the initiative to reach out and shuffle through the files lying on the table. The shuffling and rustling of papers sounded painfully loud in the silence of the deserted school. "Quieter!" hissed Sunjae.

Inhyuk retrieved the thin sheet with the personal details of students pinned on the soft board. Just then, as if a manifestation of my worry, slow, steady footsteps echoed in the hallway outside the room. Panic surged through my body as I felt my breathing become unsteady.

Inhyuk got a hold of the sheet holding Taesung's information. Hearing the footsteps getting closer, I motioned everyone to duck under the table with my shaking hands. As we all crouched under the table, my body shook with terror. A bright flashlight flashed on the ground next to us. Everyone held their breath as a voice spoke, "I could have sword there was something..."

The light faded out of sight as all of us heaved a sigh of relief. "I got a picture!" whispered Inhyuk, his voice laced with triumph.

"Great, now let's get out of here!"

💿

Ryu Sunjae's Perspective

Going back to school after my surgery was an experience in itself. I received sympathy from peers and teachers that I had never received in my years in high school. It seemed as if the world was showering me in pity, rubbing salt in my fresh wound that had gotten no time to heal. I felt dejected, and it showed. I slouched in class, stared blankly into space and zoned out when someone was speaking to me. In this confusing haze of people's sympathy towards me, I found solace in the blue cap I wore─ Eunyoung's thoughtful gift. It rested atop my head like a reminder of her warmth and the gentleness of her voice.

Eunyoung was different. She treated me like she always had. Through all the changes I observed in everyone's attitude towards me, Eunyoung stood like a guiding light, staying constant through my adversity. I found comfort in her unchanging demeanor. 

As she took her usual seat next to me as per usual, the familiarity of the scenario sent tingles through my body. I smiled secretly to myself on seeing her face. How could she take away my breath? Just by being herself? I must be crazy. 

I noticed her yawn next to me, covering her mouth with her hand. Her blinking became slower as there was a visible struggle for her to keep her eyes open.

"Long day?" I asked.

"The substitute teacher for geography did a fantastic job," she let out another yawn, "At putting the class to sleep."

I chuckled. She looked up at me, smiling with sleepy eyes. 

💿

I felt Eunyoung's head fall gently on my shoulder. I slowly turned to look at her head resting peacefully on my shoulder. Thankfully, it wasn't the shoulder that got operated on. I would hate to push her away. A few strands of her hair framed her angelic face. Her soft breath fanned my neck, sending a shiver down my spine. The gentle rise and fall of her chest was rhythmic and calming, a stark contrast to the chaos of the day. A wave of protectiveness washed over me as I realized how vulnerable she looked in this moment.

I couldn't help but trace the outline of her face with my eyes. Her lips were slightly parted, and her eyelashes cast delicate shadows on her cheeks.

This has happened before. I remembered the moment we had previously shared with shocking clarity. It replayed in my mind like my favourite scene from my favourite movie. The point of contact that made my heart flutter back then, did the same today. The tingling feeling surged through my body, just like that day. She looked as perfect as ever─ maybe more. Every moment I spent with her, I found myself wishing it would last forever.

I stole another glance at her. A warmth spread through me, a comforting familiarity that I hadn't felt in a long time. This was a moment of peace, a sanctuary from the world outside. And in that moment, I knew that I would do anything to protect this fragile, beautiful girl beside me.

☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩⋆｡° ✮

nana's notes: eunyoung if falling asleep on the bus was a job 💸💸

delphi's notes: ryu sunjae, the biggest loser to exist ;)

next chapter: saturday (out now!) list of chapters here!

☆ ･ ˖ but if you're too drunk to drive . . .

like the moodboard? it's a teaser for an upcoming fanfic! make sure u follow me and stay tuned! thank you, bye!! <33