⁺　ׂ　　⋆　 T-t-touch Me, And You'll Never Be Alone ☆

xxvi. all roads lead to rome

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CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX ─ between notes and secrets.

❛ there's many different ways you can kill someone you love the slowest way is not loving them enough ❜

Narrator's Perspective

The doors closed with a thud after one final passenger got on and the bus drove away into the darkness of the early summer morning. The sky was littered with little grey clouds, casting a shadow over the city. 

"It's going to rain today," Yumi observed.

"Yeah," Eunyoung gazed out the window with beady eyes, a smile tugging at her lips.

"Why do you react like that every time someone mentions rain? You're such a weirdo," Yumi scoffed.

"It rained the first time I met Sunjae," she said, still smiling.

"So what?" Yumi spat, "Big deal."

"It is to me."

"Shut up. Where is he anyways?"

"He usually sleeps in these days since he isn't on the swim team anymore," Eunyoung stated, "He takes the later bus."

"Oh god, where's the off button?" Yumi pretended to gag, "You're making me sick, stop it. I need a subject change, gosh. Why were you and Mom so solemn at dinner yesterday? I thought someone died."

Eunyoung's eyes darkened, bearing an eerie likeliness to the overcast sky.  Her smile fell and she looked away from Yumi because the answer to her question was probably written all over her face.

"Oh no, did someone actually-"

"No!"

"Thank god," Yumi sighed in relief, "You scared me for a second."

"It was nothing," Eunyoung said in answer to her previous question, "I was just tired, I don't know about Mom."

"If you say so."

"How 'bout you? Where are you mysteriously disappearing these days?"

Yumi swallowed. It was her turn to look away to hide her face that had "guilty conscious" written all over it, "Extra practice at the club," she answered curtly, "Didn't I tell you?"

"You did."

"Yeah, so that's it. Nothing mysterious. Just boring old piano practice."

"If you say so."

💿

Choi Eunyoung's Perspective

How did I end up here? I wondered, staring out of the bus window. It was nearly half past four, and I should have been home, studying—or at least doing something productive. Maybe it was the fact that I hadn't cracked open a textbook in nearly fifteen years, but I just couldn't muster the motivation to do so. Instead, I found myself deciding to visit Yumi.

The bus screeched to a halt, and I snapped my head around to see the doors swing open. I sprang from my seat and stepped off the bus, right in front of the Jagam High music club. Confusion furrowed my brow as I took a few hesitant steps toward the building, then stopped in my tracks. I rubbed my eyes, hoping I was mistaken, but the scene before me was unmistakable.

There, in plain view, was Yumi climbing onto Kim Taesung's motorcycle. The shock must have paralyzed me, because all I could do was stand there, agape, as they sped away, leaving a cloud of smoke in their wake. It took a moment for reality to sink in, but once it did, I snapped into action. 

I began to run.

💿

I must have really been out of my senses to run after a flipping motorcycle, because, by the time I reached what appeared to be Kim Taesung's front door, I stood at a turning where I was sure they couldn't see me, gasping for breath. Honestly, it was a miracle I didn't lose them. God knows how I was able to keep up; It must have been my determination to find out because there's no way I could have done it otherwise.

I leaned against a nearby wall, heaving and breathless. It took me a while to calm myself down, and in the meanwhile, I could hear his front door close and their muffled conversation. To be fair, there was no reason for me to be hiding like this as if I were committing some kind of crime. Yumi's the one who's been lying. To me. And to mom. Yet, she's going about deceiving me in broad daylight, with no shame whatsoever and I'm hiding behind a wall, trying not to get caught.

The tapping of my shoes against the pavement sounded in the empty street. I let out a long sigh. Behind my anger and frustration, I felt hurt. Hurt that Yumi felt the need to lie. No matter what happened, we had always shared everything with each other. Now, there was this secret between us.

"I would never hide anything from her," I muttered under my breath.

What could she possibly be doing with him that she couldn't even confide in me? My pace quickened as I moved towards Kim Taesung's house, anxiety rising in my chest. I practically zoomed past the outer safety door that was left ajar and stumbled onto the veranda and moved towards the front door. I rang the doorbell and waited impatiently, letting out another sigh.

After a few seconds, I racked my knuckles on the wooden door, the sense of urgency evident in my actions. I heard the doorknob rattle as Yumi opened the door. Her frown slowly morphed into a look of absolute shock and guilt. Her eyes instantly widened and she tried to stutter an excuse but it was no use, "Eun...uh.. I, the thing-"

"Save it," I snapped.

She turned to grab her bag from a nearby chair. I scoffed, mostly to myself as I turned to leave. I heard her call out, "I gotta go!" I heard some words of confusion mumbled by Taesung, but my mind was clouded by rage and betrayal. I couldn't comprehend what he said.

Yumi grabbed my wrist, stopping me as I turned around, frowning at her face.

"Eunyoung, please don't do-"

"Don't do what, exactly?!" I yelled, my voice laced with anger, "Yumi, I don't even know what to say to you right now. What is wrong with you?"

"Why are you mad?" she countered irritably.

"Why am I mad?" I repeated, letting out a strangled chuckle at the irony of her question, "I'll tell you why! You're running off to this guy's house I don't know how often a week, and lie to your family. This guy is the spitting image of a delinquent and he has trouble written all over his face. I hope that answers your question."

"I really don't get it, Eunyoung," she screamed, sighing after a few moments, "I don't get why you're interfering like this. It's my life, and let me screw it up! Why're you getting worked up over nothing?"

"Because I'm trying to protect you!"

"Look, everything I do is my choice. So, if I get hurt, it's on me! Just stay out of it, for God's sake, Eunyoung!" she screamed, "You're not even my real sister, so why does it matter?"

Her words pierced through my heart and all my anger melted away in a moment. The frown fell from my face and I felt a lump in my throat.  I took a step back watching Yumi realise the gravity of her words. They seemed to prick and burn my skin. My lip trembled as I stuttered out, "Fine."

I broke into a run onto the pavement as I faintly heard Yumi's voice call out to me in the distance, but I didn't look back. My vision blurred as tears streamed down my face.

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nana's notes: ouch, yumi, that stings.

delphi's notes: oh eunyoung, only if you understood.

list of chapters here! click here for next chapter.

inconvenience regretted 😞

( 🥂. ) let the only flashing lights be the tower at midnight . . .

i had scheduled this april 19th but it got posted early?!!

﹒ʬʬ , all's fair in love & poetry

pretty bitches love me, and ugly hoes hate me !!

and isn't it just so pretty to think? that all along there was some invisible string tying you to me . . . ✩★

like the moodboard? it's a teaser for an upcoming fanfic! make sure u follow me and stay tuned! thank you, bye!! <33

so obsessed with her lately 🍓 PS: sorry for the post and ghost 🫢🤐 edit: HELP- i was supposed to post this on my sideblog TT

i am free at long last

my exam is finally over!!!! *intense clapping* you know what that means? TOWARDS YOU is back!! chapter fifty-three will be out on 4th april (friday) in the meantime, i'm working on the following chapters as well :)

@the-one-and-only-delphi and i are working on other things to put out as well, so stay tuned as always <3 remember to interact with my stories so i can get to know the wonderful people who read and like my work ❤️

xlix. drifting away

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CHAPTER FORTY-NINE ─ drifting away.

❛ still want you all the time, still in a corner of my heart ❜

Choi Eunyoung's Perspective

A couple weeks after college lectures began, I felt as miserable as ever. It was as if I was living the same day over and over again. From the moment I opened my eyes, there was a throbbing pain in my head that weighed me down. As I went about my routine, I felt like a machine, soulless and mechanical. The feeling of regret had become increasingly oppressive, leaving my brain feeling foggy. I could feel a constant ache in my heart and my brain dwelled on my stupid, drunken actions.

Not only had I gone and confessed to Sunjae like an idiot, but I had also kissed him? I couldn't believe I had been so impulsive. Thinking about how uncomfortable he must have been made me want to bury my head in a hole in the ground. At the same time, I couldn't stop reminiscing on how magical the moment felt back then. His soft lips against mine, and the silent whisper of the crickets chirping on that chilly night; I could vividly remember the warmth of his body, and how it was like every inch of our bodies were meant to hold each other.

I had told myself a million times not to get worked up over a drunken kiss. I reminded myself several times that he hadn't said a word to me since I told him to forget about it. The logical part of me said that I did the right thing by apologizing, because in what universe would Ryu Sunjae like me? Yet, there was another voice in my head that said that he would have pushed me away of he didn't like me. There was something in the way he kissed me that I couldn't quite explain. Or maybe, I knew what it was, but admitting it meant that everything became real, and I don't think I was the least bit ready for it.

The truth was that in the fear of losing him, I had ended up pushing him further away from me. Maybe that was how it was meant to turn out all along. Maybe it was better this way. The further he stayed from me, the safer it was for him. My attention turned to the clock, and my movements became immediately hasty and panicked as I grabbed my bag and rushed out the door.

 Choi Yumi's Perspective

I dragged my feet along the pavement, my head hung and a yawn escaping my mouth. It wasn't even that early, yet I could already feel a strange sort of fatigue weighing me down. Ever since the field trip, I had spent several sleepless nights, contemplating everything that had happened. This third time travel had been the most eventful one by far, I realized. I would stare up that the ceiling in the middle of the night, millions of thoughts racing through my tangled head. 

I wondered what it all meant; Taesung offering to be my boyfriend to help me get rid of Minjun. Even after Minjun had given up on harassing me, Taesung and I were still "dating." Everyone knew about our "relationship" and the both of us agreed that it was best to put up a show for a while longer. But I couldn't help but wonder whether he had any ulterior motive in suggesting that?

Another thing that I couldn't stop thinking about was the way he had kissed me in front of the whole department. His touch, that felt demanding yet gentle at the same time, the sweet aftertaste of the kiss, and the distance between us that had finally disappeared for a few short, fleeting seconds, were all so vivid in front of my eyes. Every time the thought crossed my mind, I could practically feel his soft grip on my wrist, and the warmth in his touch that quieted all my fears. It was just for show, I told myself. But it all felt so real...

A high-pitched meow from somewhere in the  nearby bushes perked my attention as I followed the sound. I bent down when I saw a tiny, black kitten between the branches of a wild scrub that grew on the sidewalk. A smile surfaced on my face as I reached out a cautious hand to stroke it's little head. While I continued to pet it, I let out a chuckle as the kitten kept pushing it's head towards my hand every time I paused.

"Looks like you're having a good time."

I stood up abruptly on hearing Taesung's oh-so-familiar voice sound in my ears. For a good few seconds, I found myself staring at his face blankly. Somehow, I was always in awe of how good he looked, without trying at all. There hadn't been many moments him and I had spent alone since the field trip, and seeing him like this, outside school, with no one around made me feel oddly vulnerable and nervous.

"Where'd you come from?"

"That's not how you greet your boyfriend, now, is it?" he said cocking his head to a side, smirking. I scoffed at him.

"You're not really my boyfriend."

"For now I am," he argued.

"Only in front of others," I countered.

He went quiet for a couple moments, staring blankly at my face. I felt my cheeks heat up as the seconds passed by. I tried to distract myself by looking at the telephone pole behind him.

"How's your scar?" he asked suddenly, meeting my eyes, "Does it hurt anymore?"

I was definitely flustered, and muttered out some incoherent nonsense. He had never brought it up since we were in the hospital.

"What?"

"I said umm..." I said, trying to muster up some courage to answer him, "It doesn't hurt now, it's just there," I went quiet for a second and them asked, concerned, "How's your shoulder? Does it hurt anymore?"

"Nope," he said, putting on a fake brave face. But I could see the hurt behind his eyes, "It healed pretty quickly."

Seeing him trying to hide his pain made my heart ache like never before. Will things ever go back to the way they were?

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nana's notes: eunyoung you blind fool get yourself some glasses-

delphi's notes: taesung in the header TT

previous chapter next chapter: saturday (out now!) list of chapters here!

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CHAPTER FIFTY-THREE ─ expect the unexpected.

❛ and it feels like the start of a movie i've seen before, but you're not here ❜

Ryu Sunjae's Perspective

I practically ran down the stairs, my heartbeat drumming on inside my chest as I felt a new kind of giddy excitement to meet Eunyoung. I had always felt incredibly happy at the thought of her, but this was different. With all that had happened yesterday, it felt like all the puzzle pieces fit perfectly and we were together at last. Everything in my life seemed to lead me here, to Eunyoung.

To my disappointment, on descending the last stair, instead of seeing Eunyoung's smiling face greet me, I saw her sister, Yumi waiting impatiently. Before I could speak, she turned around suddenly, making me jump a little. She was glaring at me with a kind of resentment and disgust that made me feel sick. I took a step back, cowering before her.

"You know, I wanted to be happy about you and Eunyoung," she said menacingly, "But now I'm thinking that you're all kinds of trouble."

"What did I do?" I asked, furrowing my brows in confusion.

"Last night, you guys must have had your rom-com moment in the rain," she started, "But now Eunyoung is lying in bed with a 100 degree fever."

"What?!" I yelled way too loudly, my eyes widening and my heartbeat quickening, "Eunyoung is sick?!" It made me mad. Guilt seemed to be gnawing at my heart as I realized it was my fault. Before I could get a response from Yumi, whose rage had been replaced by surprise at my exaggerated reaction, I began running to Eunyoung's front door.

"I wouldn't go in if I were you," Yumi said. I stopped in my tracks. She continued, "Mom's been up all night taking care of her and her opinion of you is not exactly favorable."

Narrator's Perspective

By the time Sunjae and Yumi had reached school, there was a strange awkwardness between them since Eunyoung wasn't there to play the mutual friend. But when Yumi considered the situation in her mind and concluded that it would be a lot worse if Eunyoung had been with them, because then it would have been Yumi third wheeling with a couple who was so obnoxiously sweet she would have vomited. So, she sat there with Sunjae, feeling grateful for the awkward air that had settled between them.

"So, are you in the school play?" Sunjae asked her out of politeness. He had begun to get a little restless because of the silence. He had imagined his bus ride to college a lot differently. He thought it would be romantic with Eunyoung next to him. But instead he was forced to deal with Yumi; He knew by instinct that she was just tolerating him because of Eunyoung, and honestly he felt the same way.

"No, I'm not," she said without looking at him, "I don't even want to get into all this festival nonsense. I'm the last person to do a thing like a school play. And they chose a Shakespeare play? Forget it."

You ask a simple question... Sunjae sighed internally, "I just thought you would audition- you know, since your boyfriend is in the play."

I guess Eunyoung hasn't told him... This made Yumi feel a little at peace; The fact that Eunyoung was guarding her secret well was a comforting thought.

"Do I seem like the kind of person to humiliate myself on stage because my boyfriend i decided to do it?" she asked formidably.

"I guess not," Sunjae said, giving up on making pleasantries, "I gotta go anyways." He practically ran away from her.

💿

The auditorium was filled with playful banter and friendly conversations. The cast of the Shakespearean play As You Like It that had been casted so far were gathered there for the very first practice. The actors crowded the stage, discussing their roles and reading their scripts. The director and writers responsible for translating the play into Korean occupied a table with various sheets of paper stacked and a microphone to maintain some order.

"Excuse me ! Everybody! May I have your attention please?" asked the girl who was given the role of director. The chaos settled down, slowly but surely, "Thank you. Is everybody here? Or is someone missing?"

"Eunyoung isn't here," Sunjae answered promptly. His comment was followed with some girls eyeing him and whispering among themselves.

"Oh my gosh!"

"Do they like each other or what?"

"I swear there's something going on since the field trip!"

Sunjae wondered if he was being too obvious but chose to ignore the gossip.

"What's her character?" asked the director, looking down at her list of participants.

"Rosalind," he answered. He could hear more whispers.

"Rosalind?!" she repeated, taken aback, "Our Rosalind is absent? Why on earth would she miss the first rehearsal?"

"Uh, she's down with fever!" Sunjae told her, "Pretty bad, actually- hundred degrees. Her sister told me." He ignored the giggling that followed his rather enthusiastic answer.

"Oh, dear," said the director a little calmer than before, "Well, tell her to take care, then. And tell her that absenteeism will not be tolerated except for health related reasons. I'll let her off the hook this one time."

Sunjae heaved a sigh of relief. The writer sitting next to the director whispered something in her ear. Her eyes went wide, "She's one of the writers too? That is... unfortunate."

"Could you be any more obvious?" Taesung sneered.

"Shut up," he snapped, "At least she's in the play."

"Ouch," Taesung said defensively, "Damn, Sunjae didn't think you were stingy like that."

"By the way," began the director, addressing Sunjae, "What's your character?"

"Orlando," he answered plainly.

"Good," the director smiled. The students began hooting and screaming with excitement.

"Okay, settle down," said the writer. He took the microphone from the director, "We don't have an actress for the role of Celia. Does anyone have any suggestions? Anybody wishing to audition?"

A lightbulb suddenly lit up in Taesung's head, "I know someone who could play the role."

"Do they have a name?"

"Uh, yes," he answered, the palms of his hands feeling sweaty, "Choi Yumi from the Practical Music Department." Once again, people began ooh-ing and ahh-ing. 

"Bring her to rehearsal tomorrow to audition," said the writer in a matter-of-fact tone. Taesung smiled ever so slightly. Now he would get to spend some time with her...

"Okay, so since we don't have Rosalind or Celia, we can start with act one, scene one..."

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nana's notes: yumi is literally ready to fight sunjae

delphi's notes: don't mess with yumi

xli. threads of fate and regret

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CHAPTER FORTY-ONE ─ threads of fate and regret.

❛ you stood there in front of me, just close enough to touch ❜

Ryu Sunjae's Perspective

Fireworks seemed to go off inside me when I walked into the interview room. A wave of deja vu hit me when the rapid thumping of my heart sounded in my ears just like the first time I found out that Eunyoung was going to interview me. Since the time I started preparing to release 'Sonaki,' all my past feelings slowly began resurfacing. I could envision myself, a lovestruck nineteen year old sitting in my bedroom and writing the song, thinking of Eunyoung and occasionally gazing at her window that was just in front of mine. I kept telling myself that it was just a memory in the past. I couldn't accept the fact that my feelings were exactly the same after fifteen long years.

It felt quite pathetic, to be honest. To think that I spent two years with her by my side, and still never had the guts to tell her how I felt filled me with insurmountable regret. I would have given anything to go back in time and hold on to her. 

Sitting across from her, responding to each question with careful, practiced formality, felt like the most challenging task of my entire career. With every carefully measured word, I felt my resolve slipping, as though the years we spent apart had only heightened this ache within me. It took every ounce of restraint not to close the distance between us, to forget the cameras and the professionalism and tell her just how much I'd missed her.

As I spoke about the song, Sonaki, describing it simply as a memory from my youth, my heart pounded with the urge to reveal the truth. There was a cruel irony in it all, sitting there explaining how the song was about my first love while she remained unaware that she was the muse behind every line, the inspiration behind every note. She was still, unknowingly, my everything.

In my mind, I could see myself breaking the silence, confessing it all—how she had stayed with me, haunting my every step and shaping every melody I'd written since. But in reality, I remained stoic, carefully choosing my words, my gaze avoiding her eyes for fear of giving it all away.

"I used to be a competitive swimmer back in high school. I remember despising it whenever it rained on my way home after a long day of training. But the day I met her was a rainy day. After that day, I mysteriously found myself unable to hate the rain any longer. It was magical, unlike anything I had experienced before," I said, pouring my heart out.

"That's such a beautiful way of expressing your feelings. I'm sure whoever she is would be touched to know it."

"Actually I never got a chance to express my feelings," I confessed with an embarrassed chuckle, "It was an unrequited love."

Choi Yumi's Perspective

I sat nervously shaking my leg in the police station. I had caved and agreed to meet Taesung to help him. The truth was that I wanted to understand him. I wanted to believe more than anything that he was innocent; And if I had the power to prove that he was, then I wanted to pour my heart into this case and win at any cost.

Taesung emerged from behind one of the doors, being dragged by one of the police officers who clutched his jacket with a death grip. The nostalgia was way too obvious for me to ignore. I found myself remembering the last time I saw him sitting across me. His hair was no longer wild and crazy like back then, but a sort of mischief shone in his eyes. A smirk that seemed to ridicule the man dragging him was plastered across his face.

The two sat down across from me, the man glaring at Taesung. For a good few moments I found myself staring at Taesung. Despite the dull, muted tones that replaced his bright biker jackets, he still looked as good as the first day I encountered him outside the music club. I found it quite unfair that I looked like a Tim Burtons character while he looked ready to start a photoshoot.

"So, you're going to help me or not?" he asked right away.

"Depends," I said skeptically, "How exactly did you get yourself into this mess?"

"I have no idea."

"You have to answer seriously or I can't help you."

"So if I answer seriously you'll help me?"

"Just answer the damn question," I sighed, realizing he was just as petty and childish as before, "I haven't got all day."

"My bad," he cleared his throat, "So you know my father is a detective in the Violent Crimes Division, right?"

"Yeah," I replied, feeling curious and anxious at the same time.

"One day he had to go to one of the places where Kim Youngsoo was allegedly hiding. But he suddenly fell sick that day. 102 degree fever; And look, I'm not the biggest fan of my dad, but I couldn't let him go there like that. That's why I went in his place. Then the guy who was supposed to be there with him never showed up."

"That's quite the story."

"I'm not done," he said, "I completed the investigation like he told me to, and I brought the report home. He gave it to the higher ups and everything was fine for a couple of days. Later, we found out that he messed up the dates and the other guy went the day after that. That's when they found my fingerprints all over the place. I tried to explain this to them but they refused to believe me and now I'm here. They don't believe my dad either."

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nana's notes: writing sunjae's pov made me sob he loves her so much T_T when will it be my turn...

delphi's notes: leave it up to taesung to get into that kind of mess 👏

next chapter: saturday (out now!) list of chapters here