Hello! This Is A Sort Of Reply To Karmic Justice (I Did Reply On AO3, But You Either Haven't Had Time

idk if this is a young fan thing or new fandom culture but some of yall think fics are abandoned way too quickly. a few months or a year or two is not unusual to go without a fic update. sometimes fics take longer to write, other times writers have rl events, or maybe there's multiple fics and one gets more priority. there are tons of reasons for fics not to be updated every week or every month. it also isn't uncommon for people to come back and update fics after a number of years—ive read updates that took five, or ten years. people's lives change, but they still want to tell their stories. personally, i never consider a fic abandoned unless the author has said so; though if it's been a few years i manage my expectations. but a last update being a year ago is... generally not a sign that a writer has abandoned their fic

So this is why my stories fail to appear fully written in front of me

older lotr illustrations sometimes depict éowyn wearing ridiculously small armour. apart from the problem general sexualisation of the only female character (who really does anything), there’s another hilarious thought:

éowyn pretended to be dernhelm, a man. to fit in, she must have worn men’s armor. so the armor in the illustrations is normal for rohirrim.

therefore, all the rohirrim rode to war just like that:

‘boy i sure wish i was asleep,’ i whisper, clicking Next Chapter fourteen fucking times

None of your old writing was a waste of time

You had to write what you did, when you did, so you could write what you’re writing now.

We only get better with experience.

So don’t worry if what you’re working on now doesn’t quite feel up to par. Think of it as paving the way for bigger and better things to come.

Imagine if the Madara of the plotting wasn't actually the real Madara? If he was idk, a Zetsu puppet or something. Imagine how offended he'd be when being summoned properly! Like 'Excuse Me! Somebody has been doing What WITH MY NAME AND BODY! How Dare THEY! *Explodes Into Hysterical Rage* Tobirama/Hashirama/Everyone Else: Ah, yup. That would be the real Madara...

Oh no... can you imagine the angst potential of Madara getting possessed by Zetsu to control the Kyuubi and Hashirama not noticing?

So Hashirama kills his best friend without ever noticing that he’s a hostage, and Zetsu has been mimicking Madara’s chakra to the point that Tobirama thought that the corruption was Madara’s natural signature.

And then Zetsu uses the body as a host because he’s a demigod-plant-sage-parasite-thing and can keep the body functional after death plus Madara’s identity was useful for its plans. But someone at some point in the Fourth War plotline someone screws up somewhere in a communication chain and they tried to summon Madara.

And it works.

And now there’s a VERY ANGRY RINNEGAN POWERED UCHIHA ZOMBIE rampaging through the war laying waste to everyone because fuck you fucks how fucking dare you slander his name!?!?

Your writing is simultaneously a love letter to the source material and a raised middle finger to what the original author did with it

It’s always nice to be reminded that there are people out there who get me. 😁

Sproing

it's been said before and i'm sure said better than i can phrase it. but really, really - if you like making "i'm going to kill myself" jokes, please try switching to being ironically conceited instead.

anytime something goes wrong, say things like "ah well at least i'm beautiful and charming and everyone loves me." when you forget something, try "my big huge brain is so smart and thinking about too many other very big wizardly thoughts you wouldn't even understand." when you're frustrated by one of your symptoms, start talking like you're in My Immortal. "Life has come for me but my eyes are beautiful pools of gorgeous fire and my hair is amazing. I stuck my middle finger up at life and told it to fuck off and it did."

just... try it for a month or two. try saying the most absurdly self-congratulatory shit you can think of.

i know it's tempting to make suicide or self-harm jokes. and for me at least, a decade ago (!) when someone suggested i stop making those kinds of jokes, i was kind of at a loss for what to replace them with. i wanted to make light of these moments, but genuinely (at the time) my first thought really was suicidal ideation. there was a part of me that even felt like ... i was kind of "making light" of that voice. that if i could say i want to die lol, it would help take the sting out of that genuine (albeit passive) desire. like i could turn my illness into a joke.

when i started complimenting myself instead, it felt awkward and stupid. it felt really, really ironic. what i was actually saying was nobody would ever think this stuff about me, that's what makes it so fucking funny.

but. the effect was immediate. first thing i noticed was the people around me. when i dropped a glass and said ah my skin is too beautiful and sleek the glass has swooned and broken for me, other people were suddenly overjoyed to jump in with the joke. rather than making an awkward moment, we'd both start cracking up. ah princess sleek hands, i've heard of you.

i was 19. i hadn't noticed i'd been making others tense when i said i want it all to end. i know now that it's incredibly hard to know how to walk that moment - do you talk to them about your concern? do you potentially make them uncomfortable by asking if they're okay? do you ignore the situation? do you help them pick up the glass, or do they need to do it by themselves? are they genuinely made suicidal over this small moment? and most importantly, how do you - without professional training or supplies - actually help?

most people want to help you pick up the glass in your life, they just have no fucking idea how to do it. they don't want to make anything worse. they don't want to make assumptions about you. they love you, they're scared for you - and being scared makes people kind of freeze up. it's not because they don't love you. it's because they do.

now when something bad happens, my first thought is how can i make a stupid joke about this. it isn't my brain saying you're a dumb fucking bitch. i spend more time laughing. i spend more time being gentle with myself. i spend more time feeling good.

and the thing is - what's kind of funny - is that you'd be surprised by how many people agree with you. the first time i said i'm too pretty to understand that, someone else said to be fair you're the prettiest person in this room. i promise - you really don't know how kindly your friends see you. but they love you for a reason. they sort of reverse-velveteen-rabbit you. your weird and ugly spots fade away and you just become... the love they want to give you.

go love yourself ironically. the worst thing that happens is that you end up tricking your reflection into actually loving you.