Very Brief Guide To [tumblr], For Reddit Refugees

Humans Are Weird

So there has been a bit of “what if humans were the weird ones?” going around tumblr at the moment and Earth Day got me thinking. Earth is a wonky place, the axis tilts, the orbit wobbles, and the ground spews molten rock for goodness sakes. What if what makes humans weird is just our capacity to survive? What if all the other life bearing planets are these mild, Mediterranean climates with no seasons, no tectonic plates, and no intense weather? 

What if several species (including humans) land on a world and the humans are all “SCORE! Earth like world! Let’s get exploring before we get out competed!” And the planet starts offing the other aliens right and left, electric storms, hypothermia, tornadoes and the humans are just … there… counting seconds between flashes, having snowball fights, and just surviving. 

While I’m throwing random Naruto hcs to the winds:

Uchiha were actually incredibly expressive by their own standards, but a side effect of being a clan of people with Super Detail Vision means that even those without the sharingan or with the sharingan not *on* means that they don’t need to move their faces much to convey a lot. Which was why to outsiders they looked so stiff and stoic for the most part. Because why bother doing large expressions when all your loved ones can see how overjoyed you are with just a tiny smile and the deepening of the laugh lines around your eyes?

This trait also makes them truly scary during police investigations because if you have *any* physical tell that you are lying, they *will* see it and use it to their advantage, with or without their sharingan on. These people are so detail oriented by default it’s insane. They also can have the Book literally memorized and ready to quote chapter and verse at you down to the grammar because their brains have evolved over generations to naturally memorize and rapidly process and catalogue information to compensate for said Super Vision.

This means, by extension, that Uchiha like Obito and Shisui who register to outsiders as the “normally expressive ones” are actually the Uchiha equivalent of Might Gai running down the street screaming loudly about Emotions and Youth.

That or Shisui is not actually that expressive by default (tho we know Obito is) and he just learned how to do that because he realized it made people more willing to talk to him and also it makes his relatives twitch in the Uchiha version of screaming “MY EYES” and he finds that really funny.

How to protect yourself during stampede

how do you reckon things would change if Obito and Kakashi remembered their past lives as Izuna and Kanna? (And have you given a past incarnation of Rin in the Warring Era?)

… @deverickracoma you mean, like in canon? Huhhhh…

Well first off before Rin was Nohara Rin she was Senju Touka. Which makes this situation super fun because both Izuna and Kanna died before Hashirama strong armed Konoha into existence and Touka only went along with it because Her Stupid Little Cousins Need Some Common Sense. XP

In her lives as both as Touka and as Rin she holds the single (1) braincell for this Disaster Trio.

So Izuna dies via Tobirama’s sword. And then Kanna kinda… revenge rampages with Madara until the critical angst threshold is reached as Kanna just… explodes both theirself and the battlefield. 

There’s a whole lot of background stuff behind the suicide run such as Kanna’s Hatake side suffering from mate-loss depression and their Uchiha side suffering from Makengyou Madness and also Really Bad post-partum depression compounding it and yeah. Unfortunately Madara is just as wrecked from Izuna’s death so he can’t really support Kanna and it all goes to shit because we all know canon is a shitshow.

But anyway Touka is there to see Izuna die and she is well aware that Tobirama has just made a horrible decision driven by unacknowledged jealously and overzealous paranoia. Then Touka barely manages to save Tobirama’s pasty ass from the screaming revenge demon that she later learns was Izuna’s wife. And then Touka stands witness as Hashirama forces peace at sword point.

So Touka is just there like, “Oh for fucks sake we’re all going to die horribly.”

And, of course, Touka was right everything is horrible and everything hurts. 

Only now it’s plot-twist time and Touka, who was investigating certain questionable sources about the ongoing breakdown of social order in Konoha gets killed by Zetsu in order to cause even more tension against the Uchiha in Konoha and hey guess what? Yeah, that’s right Rin remembers the creepy plant-demon thing gloating about stealing Uchiha Madara (aka the only one vaguely strong enough to combat Kaguya at that time given he had naturally manifested the Rinnegan) for his own use before Zetsu killed her in a suspiciously ambiguous manner.

Shit.

Fuck.

Four year old Nohara Rin has a vendetta and the ability to kill a grown man. 

So obviously given that the Plant Demon is trying to kill off the Uchiha using shadowy assassinations and rumour mongering the Plant Demon is afraid of the Uchiha. Ergo the Uchiha are a threat to the Plant Demon otherwise it would confront the Uchiha more openly.

So.

Rin therefore needs to make super-duper ride-or-die best friends forever with at least one (1) Uchiha. And then, on the first day at the Academy, Rin runs into an absolute dork wearing Madara’s face.

Ah. Says Rin, channelling canon!Madara. That One. That’s The One I Need For My Plan To Succeed.

Cue the Rin and Obito Bonding Moment ™ that will repeat as a flashback every time their history is at any point mentioned in the narrative.

As for Obito, well… when he was Izuna he loved his Clan but then when he was reborn he read the Clan Histories from after his death and the public history of Konoha and Obito knows his Clan are a bunch of fucking traitors who stabbed his big brother in the back and that’s why Obito is both disgusted by the Uchiha and overprotective of the Clan’s reputation because Madara still loved their Clan even after they turned on him.

I may include Obito unearthing Madara’s private journals from a hidden cubby in the Naka Shrine that only Izuna would have known to look for. Just for the sake of an extra knife and also so that Obito can find proof of Zetsu’s sabotaging his brother’s mental health. 

Obito is more than a little weepy and sentimental over the fact that Madara honoured Izuna’s last request to the point Madara destroyed himself and his connection to the Clan. Obito can’t blame Madara for giving in when Hashirama forced peace to try and protect the few loyal Clan members who remained. Obito decides to protect Konoha and the Uchiha because he won’t let Madara’s last wish go unfulfilled but he’s going to become the fucking Hokage and tear out all the Senju-inflicted rot infecting his Big Brother’s Dream.

Obito is openly disdainful of the Clan Elders and the only people he even vaguely respects is the Head Family. Mostly because Mikoto is descended from Izuna’s daughter and even though Izayoi married “Tobirama’s student Kagami” she was still his baby girl and Mikoto is his great-grand daughter and he loves her because she’s his family.

Mikoto, Obito, and Shisui are all descendants of Kagami and Izayoi’s kids so they’re second-third cousins. Obito spends a lot of time pondering the overlap of self-care and I-love-my-grandbabies. It’s a fun little exercise in existentialism.

In the meantime Kakashi is still a little shit-disturber of the highest order. Kanna was taught all the fun Uchiha Clan Skills as Izuna’s wife and now Kakashi has learned all the fun Hatake Clan Skills from Sakumo and the little bastard is even more terrifying than canon. Kakashi is more gender-fluid than agender the way Kanna was though which is a fun new flavour of dysphoria-through-reincarnation that I’ll probably enjoy exploring.

Now, this does mean that Kakashi starts wearing his mask before Sakumo gets scapegoated which is a minor yet still significant change from Kakashi’s canon characterization-and-motivations.

So Kakashi blitzes their way through the Academy in like, 6 months because Kakashi has negative chill and an understandably paranoid focus on keeping their dad alive this time around. The only people Kakashi respects are the Military Police and their Dad everyone else can perish. Minato is A Constant Despair because he cannot control this sassy hell child Sakumo-sempai pls tell your son to l i s t e n t o m e.

Sakumo-sempai goes “LOL nope” because Sakumo is also a troll but is better at hiding it than Kakashi is.

So Rin and Obito are BFFs then Kakashi rips through their class like ground lightning and the sparring scene happens but the kickback of Uchiha-memories manifesting as body action means the spar is a familiar dance and so Obito is like “OMG K a n n a” and cue Obito stalking Kakashi like a schoolgirl with an obsessive crush and no concept of personal boundaries.

Enough shenanigans occur to 1. make Team Minato a cohesive and functional thing instead of a train wreck, and 2. keep Sakumo alive because Kakashi recognizes their Dad’s suicidal tendencies for what they are and so they set their ninken up as watchdogs to make sure Sakumo doesn’t do anything stupid. Because Kakashi’s biggest regret is leaving Madara and Izayoi to suffer grief without them and they refuse to let that sort of despair take away anyone they care about again.

So now Team Minato is bonding, and they are friends, and they are all slowly coming to the realization that they all remember their previous lives. So they start to share information and gradually piece together where Zetsu’s influence has been applied as they try to figure out what the Plant Demon’s endgame is.

Which means that Team Minato is 100% more paranoid about mission intelligence than they were in canon and also Rin more than ready to gut the Iwa-nin who tries to kidnap her during the Kannabi Bridge Mission so that’s fun. Team Minato has also made a point system for rooting out moles, spies, and traitors to hand over to T&I. 

Sarutobi had a lovely headache when the knowledge that Sakumo’s mission had been sabotaged “accidentally” got leaked. (Kakashi had given the old man more than enough time to fix the rumour mill so it’s on Sarutobi’s own head that he didn’t take action before Kakashi did.)

Also Team Chaos Gremlins Minato manages to charm Orochimaru over to their camp via one of Obito’s rage fuelled rants about dismantling the hypocritical indoctrination of the institutionalized status quo. Specifically, the fact that the Hokage is supposed to be a public service position voted on by the people who only really has complete executive power during war time. Instead of a unilateral dictator chosen by the previous Hokage’s undisguised bias and favouritism.

Also because they’re all proof of the reincarnation cycle existing. Orochimaru is living his best life especially when Team Minato trash talks the other two Sannin. 

Rin is the Most Offended by Tsunade fucking off and abandoning her responsibilities. Tsunade basically inherited all of Hashirama’s worst traits without any obvious redeeming qualities to balance it out. Because, let’s be honest, the only reason Hashirama got any level of respect is because he was Over Powered to the point of ridiculousness and because Tobirama plus Mito were in charge of his public image.

Kakashi and Obito are both hyper-loyal so having Jiraiya decide to just not come back during wartime and for Tsunade to abandon her responsibilities as a healer and Clan Head has destroyed any possible respect they might have had.

Obviously Orochimaru is the best Sannin so he’s the one they’re going to make friends with. Also they drag Orochimaru back to the Hatake Clan House to commiserate with Sakumo about being the target of a Village wide smear campaign. Which strengthens both Orochimaru and Sakumo’s spirits enough to resist their Bad Endings from canon.

All of this basically allows Team Minato to have the leverage to track down Zetsu’s creeper cave and they find Madara trapped and blinded and leashed to the Gedo Mezo, and Obito nearly has a world-destroying breakdown. Rin stands guard while Obito and Kakashi have a tearful reunion with Madara and there’s a lot of dramatic apologizing and sobbing.

They all know that they can’t leave Madara here with Zetsu, but detaching him means he’s going to die. Eventually Madara makes the decision himself to break the connection because he refuses to be used as a hostage against his little brother. So Madara tells Obito where his eyes are (which means that the Ame trio are going to get kidnapped by Team Minato eventually) plus a run-down of all the subversive plots Zetsu has had a hand in, and then Madara outright smashes the statue.

Normally nothing would be able to destroy the Gedo Mezo given that it’s basically the fossilized corpse of a god but Madara is currently part of it which means that the statue’s defences don’t realize Madara is a threat. So, statue goes boom, the cave starts to collapse, and Team Minato runs away with Madara’s body so they can give him a respectful burial.

Zetsu has approximately ten thousand aneurysms in the space of one (1) second.

From here the kickback really starts to pile up because Obito now makes a habit of dropping in on newborn Uchiha to check and see if Madara’s been reborn yet. Which means that Sasuke has a really invested older cousin hanging around to take Itachi’s place when Itachi make dumb decisions.

Rin is grumpy because basically every Clan who joined Konoha had a bunch of Senju marry into their Clan so finding Hashirama’s reincarnation is basically impossible. (And then, of course, Naruto is born and Rin faceplams 1000 times because of fucking course.)

Kakashi is laughing at both of them. Right up until they take command of Team 7 and notice a hated familiar chakra under the skin of a pink haired little girl. (All three members of Team Minato nearly die laughing because Tobirama is a pink haired little girly girl heeeeee~)

Anyway aside from all the family drama Team Minato also manages to dispose of Danzo and exposes his “plot against the Hokage”, boosting Sakumo’s public image to the point he gets named as the Fourth, fixing the stigma Orochimaru faced despite being the only loyal member of the Sannin, and basically terrorizing Konoha with Political Activism.

Zetsu probably goes a bit around the bend thanks the Team Minato destroying all his hopes and dreams plans. Also they keep putting the pressure on and exposing Zetsu’s schemes and eventually that gains enough momentum that the other Villages are taking a good hard look at shit that’s going down and hey wait w h a t t h e f u c k …

Obito eventually takes over as the Fifth Hokage and tears apart the corrupt government systems like a Tasmanian Devil going through a rotting carcass because Big Brother’s Dream Will Become A Reality B E L I E V E I T !

The End. XP

Had a silly idea that I thought you might enjoy so! Tobirama meets Kurama at some point, probably pretty young, learns Kurama's name. And well, since Kurama has RAMA in his name he may as well be one of them right? So something something Kurama ends up being Tobirama's big brother, and Kurama recognizes Asura in Hashirama, so Hashi is kinda HIS big brother. Maybe even takes a human form. And if this eventually leads to getting MadaIndra a person well....

Tobirama was too young to be out alone he knew, mother was going to be angry when she heard but it would take a while – if it wouldn’t have then Tobirama would never be out here to begin with! (Tobirama was very, very glad that he wasn’t a woman, nothing seemed as scary to Tobira as pregnancy after watching his mother labor to bring his brother into the world and the subsequent losses in the birthing since. Not that Tobirama was supposed to know that he might have had a sister, it wasn’t like anyone told them but Tobirama could feel it; just like he could feel that mother wasn’t strong enough to carry the child, not after Ita’s birth. Ita was only one and it was far too soon but Father hadn’t cared and mother wanted a girl and the healers were ignored – Tobira could have told them that was a bad idea.) It…hurt to feel the small chakra fade, but Tobirama had known she would; had felt the way that the chakra hadn’t fully taken hold and he had known it wasn’t time for his sister to be born one way or another – but knowing that didn’t make mother’s pain and wavering health and Father’s turmoil any easier too bare and for once Tobira just wanted some time to himslef.

 ….But, um, maybe, maybe, he hadn’t really intended to end up here, the child thought as he looked up and up and up at the huge red being in front of him; the blazing chakra signature so strong Tobirama could taste it and it blotted out everything else even when the chakra person got a little smaller and a red eye as big as he was looked intently at him, scanning Tobira like he was something interesting and possibly tasty. Which, Tobira should probably warn him, “I don’t taste good” the child chirped gravely “’m all funny and odd and covered in spiky things.” He paused, thought and added “And I bite back.” there was a deep rumbling sound in front of him, like a landslide in the spring, and it took Tobira a moment to realize that the being was laughing. Which, fair, it was very big and he was still very small, his biting wouldn’t mean much to a creature like this; but still, Tobira very much meant his threat and set his small hand on his hips as he lowered the red eye with his sharpest glare. “Now that’s not nice! I may be little but someday I will be bigger and my teeth are very sharp!” he snapped, trying his best to copy mothers sharp snarls that made even Father set back on his heels.

The being laughed again and lifted its lips, showing Tobira a sharp white tooth as it rumbled “And mine as sharper – and as tall as you are, little cub.” But Tobira was distracted, eyes fixed on the sharp teeth the same shape as his and mother’s and Kawa’s (even Ita’s were a little sharper than normal), this being had his teeth and red eyes like him and his chakra felt even brighter and sharper than Hashi’s with the same echo that Hashi had. Tobira didn’t know what this being was but he stepped carefully on to something red and soft to get close enough to see the big tooth clearly, firing off question after question at the being and slowly forming a hypothesis in his head until the bemused sounding being answered that its name was “Kurama” and everything clicked into place. Tobirama straightened and his eyes got very big, “Kurama? Rama? Like Hashirama? Or Tobirama? Or Kawarama? Or Itama?” the being seemed to hesitate and Tobirama went on “You have our name and teeth and Hashi’s chakra, so you must be mine, right? You’re a rama!” something stunned resonated out of the being, Tobirama’s oldest brother.

 There was a long pause as the big red eye stared at him incredulously – not that Tobirama noticed, too busy trying to figure out why he had never realized before that he had another sibling and why Father had let them out of the compound. “Did Father yell at you?” the tiny speck of white asked Kurama, deeply serious, “Is that why you left and haven’t been around?” ‘cuse he would get that, Tobirama wished he could run away when Father started yelling and if he was big enough he would have, no question. There was a long, long pause and then his big sibling spoke, “You – you do realize that I’m not human don’t you?” Kurama seemed oddly hesitant about asking that, and also a little like he was concerned about Tobirama’s brain which was a bit mean. The tiny child pout up at the giant being, small lip pushed out and tiny hands on his hips, “Of course.”The idiot was heavily implied “But neither is Akane-nee or Akira-hime or Ingolf-nii but they are as much family as those of use stupid enough not to have fur!” Because honestly, he might have only just gotten his summons recently but he had lived with his mother’s maned wolf summons long enough to know better than to think that they were anything other than pack – and they didn’t even have -rama names!There was a long pause as the huge red eye stared at him and Tobirama turned the problem over in his head, “I guess you are a bit big to fit in the compound so maybe that’s why you left, but you have nine tails so you should be able to fit yourself in now!” then a thought occurred to him about the stories o-baa-sama told him and Hashi and his eyes got big “Wait, you have nine tails! That means you can turn into a pretty lady right? So mother does have a daughter already! She’s just forgotten! So this way she can stop trying for a girl and getting sick!” it might have been a trick of perspective, but Tobirama would have sworn that the big red eye softened and then suddenly his big-sibling snorted all at once, blowing some trees over as he did and in a great woosh! He was suddenly a lot smaller and she-er, abruptly a pretty girl of early puberty with hair as white as Tobirama’s and straight as Hashi’s in a long princess cut, though her eyes were purple-red in her pretty pale face and one long tail swished under her robes. “Well” said his new nee-sama, brushing her long nailed hands over her pale robes and looking amused “lets go see the rest of the family then, hm?”

(Kurama thought it would be amusing to play with the humans and- honestly- he was….interested in this little kit that was so brave and so aching and so insistent that they were family- how long had it been since anyone called him that?-. She didn’t anticipate meeting Asura-nii in this small, blurred form, his soul oddly fuzzy and strange in a way that worried Kurama. She didn’t anticipate caring about the siblings, all four of them, and respecting their mother as much as she disliked their father- not that Butsuma could do shit with a kitsune watching him- and hadn’t intended to get invested in them and their training. She certainly didn’t anticipate Asura-nii meeting Indra-nii who’s soul was fractured and aching as Asura-nii’s was blurred and blind; she never foresaw the way Tobirama tripped and fell head first in love with Indra-nii but she couldn’t think it was a bad thing and something very old and tired in Kurama perked up at the thought of finally finding Indra-nii his person after all these centuries. Now, how to follow through and get Indra-nii’s attention on Tobirama as well as fixing both her erstwhile brother’s mutilated souls and figure out how they had gotten that way; luckily fixing the war was easier, as soon as his brothers took control of their clans she could just wander into every skirmish and lay down in the middle until the clans got the message. No one would be dumb enough to fight on a bijuu – well, no one other than Tobirama but he was….a little unhinged, and Kurama meant that as lovingly as possible ((after all, Tobirama was the space between doors and liminal places were never quite…right, beautiful, beautiful and terrible, but not quite…stable)).)

NRT+SW: That We Answer To Our Stars

Just remember that you people asked for this and if I end up posting a story concept that you love and want to see as a fic? Be well aware that all of these outlines only have one thing in common:

I HAVEN’T WRITTEN A SINGLE SCENE FOR THEM.

Which means I won’t be turning them into fic for a year at least so… *handwaves* Encourage me IRT your favourite WIP of mine, because finishing one of those will clear up space in the docket for a new story to get some attention.

Now, these outlines can get kinda disjointed but at least you’ll get to see a bit of how my brain works when I plot out stories.

Weiterlesen

I don't know who needs to hear this, but as a creator -

I am fine with "the audience" -

downloading my fics

printing my fics

copy/pasting or screenshotting my fics

sharing your saved copy of my fics with anyone else who might want them in the unlikely but never impossible case that my fics are no longer available on ao3

making a book of my fic(s) and running your fingers across the pages while lovingly whispering my precioussss

doing these things with anything I create for fandom, such as meta, headcanons, au nonsense like 'texts from the brodinsons,' etc

I am not fine with "the audience"

doing any of the above with the purpose/intent of plagiarizing my work or passing it off as their own in any capacity

feeding my work into ai for any reason whatsoever

Save the fandom things. Preserve the fandom things. Respect the fandom things.

Enjoy the fandom things.

Source