Fair Enough Lmao

Do you even read something so bad, or play a game with terrible script and worldbuilding that you think "I'm not even good at writing but even I would do a better job ?" Yep, that was me when I was 14 and today I just finished writing my first book. Keep your eyes peeled because I fully intend to publish it !

The bench at the edge of the universe.

I sat there. Silently. I said nothing when he sat next to me. We just stared in silence at what was in front of us. How should I describe that ? Light was a liquid, a see of stars and supernovae. Blindingly bright yet soothing to look at. It shifted like gentle wave under the breeze. I witnessed with my own two eyes the universe unfold all its mysteries. I watched in awe as the big bang happened again. We sat there witnessing the reinvention of time, of matter, of gravity, of life. It expanded until it broke and folded on itself until it vanished from existence and once again exploded into this incredible ocean of possibilities.

From the silence came his voice. "Why are you here?" He asked, and suddenly I heard the universe sing

"I do not know" I answered

"It's alright "

"Why are you here?" I asked

"Because the burden of life sometimes gets to heavy for my to lift it"

"So you come here to rest?"

"I am always here, it's just that sometimes I take a tangible form"

"Wouldn't it be heavier that way?"

"No. You humans do not carry this burden. I feel light when I am you"

"I do not feel so light when I am awake"

"Well come back here anytime you need then. You'll always exist here. You just need to remember it"

A few things about my book, consider that's it just the first draft, before any kind of rewrite and rework :

- 80333 words

- written in first person (MC's a woman, she is probably not really smart)

- fantasy, comedy

- slow burn (mutual pining, when I say slow I mean it, romance scares me)

- orange cat behaviour (MC)

- Worldbuilding, foreshadowing is my passion

I don't want to say too much

I got to hold a 500,000 year old hand axe at the museum today.

It's right-handed

I am right-handed

There are grooves for the thumb and knuckle to grip that fit my hand perfectly

I have calluses there from holding my stylus and pencils and the gardening tools.

There are sharper and blunter parts of the edge, for different types of cutting, as well as a point for piercing.

I know exactly how to use this to butcher a carcass.

A homo erectus made it

Some ancestor of mine, three species ago, made a tool that fits my hand perfectly, and that I still know how to use.

Who were you

A man? A woman? Did you even use those words?

Did you craft alone or were you with friends? Did you sing while you worked?

Did you find this stone yourself, or did you trade for it? Was it a gift?

Did you make it for yourself, or someone else, or does the distinction of personal property not really apply here?

Who were you?

What would you think today, seeing your descendant hold your tool and sob because it fits her hands as well?

What about your other descendant, the docent and caretaker of your tool, holding her hands under it the way you hold your hands under your baby's head when a stranger holds them.

Is it bizarre to you, that your most utilitarian object is now revered as holy?

Or has it always been divine?

Or is the divine in how I am watching videos on how to knap stone made by your other descendants, learning by example the way you did?

Tomorrow morning I am going to the local riverbed in search of the appropriate stones, and I will follow your example.

The first blood spilled on it will almost certainly be my own, as I learn the textures and rhythm of how it's done.

Did you have cuss words back then? Gods to blaspheme when the rock slips and you almost take your thumbnail off instead? Or did you just scream?

I'm not religious.

But if spilling my own blood to connect with a stranger who shared it isn't partaking in the divine

I don't know what is.

Geology core for real ! A little retrospective on my September and October! And some sneaky pics of the beginning of November!

New art challenge : use picture of crystals and other rocks under polarized light as colour palettes for your ocs.

I invite yall to go and look for more they can be breathtaking ! Also making two colour schemes for your ocs one from the polarized light and one from the "analysed" polarized light sounds amazing

How did you discover you were a kingfisher?

Okay, that might sound a bit weird but even now I am questioning whether I truly am a Kingfisher.

I knew it was a bird because of small shifts and some habits of mine that can be interpreted as kin related. But that was step one.

Then (when I realised it was most probably therian related) I tried different types of birds : small birds or bigger ones, predator or not. So the steps were something like : "okay so I might be a hummingbird wait no more like a Pelican, no that's too big, oh ! Maybe it's an hawk !"

(To this day I still think that my theriotype is hawk (or related) and kingfisher)

Then I picked up a book about birds and looked at all of them, and did some research, then gave up.

A month later, I was chilling on my sofa, watching a documentary on the science chanel (as you do) and then a Kingfisher came on screen and as the voice was describing their habits and their habitat I was left wondering.

Am I just empathising with this bird in a "haha" way or am I empathising with them because not only we have a lot in common but because I have a sense of "kinship" towards them?

I picked up this idea and took it to my computer and resumed my researches.

There it was, small bird that lives near the water and who fish. Sounds like my dream life honestly.

But more seriously, it was trials and errors (I am still questioning my theriotype) and I feel comfortable with this identity but maybe that is just because I haven't found the exact bird yet. It takes time and I won't lie I was tempted to just give up and never acknowledge my needs and yearnings. But not only does it make sense (for the bird therian situation) but it also feels good to finally put explanations and names on quirks that you could never understand before.

I don't know if that is a satisfactory answer to your question but I found it nice to write about it fir you anon ! Have a great day and a merry Christmas or Hanukkah or any holiday you might celebrate!

The castle and the sea of cloud

To be completely honest this one was the first and I believed at that time it was just a dream and nothing more.

I was sitting under an arch on the side of a long open corridor, at one extremity there was a door, a monumental door, and on the other side it would simply connect with another corridor. I knew that if I went this way I would find a garden with apple trees with golden apples and blueberry bushes. The stone the pillars and the arch were made of was white stone which was lightly pink and golden due to the setting sun. My head was resting on the pillar and next to me was the empty of the sky. It was filled with clouds and I could almost touch them. 

Beyond the roof of the castle the sky was a light blue becoming purple and the moon was bigger and brighter.

I heard laughs echoes on the walls and two teenagers arrived running and laughing, they stopped at the door and tried to calm themselves before knocking on it. They didn’t see my but I was watching them smiling softly.

I turned back to the moon and sight before getting up. I was taller than I normally am, my skin was a deep blue-grey and my jet black hair were tickling my face in the lazy breeze.

blog on hiatus?

Yes, um, hello everyone ! Finals are approaching and I am studying harder than ever to pass so everything is slow, dont worry the drawings are still something I wanna do its just...I aient got much time now...sorry

Happy birthday to me, love my friends that came to spend the day with me we will be playing just dance til' the sun rise again XD