Things That ARE Covered By Your Wizard Insurance:

“they were flirting with you” and how was i supposed to know such a thing when everyone speaks in codes and puzzles

25 years of ads peeled away

This little asshole keeps getting into a bird feeder, so we need to test how small is *too* small

3 inch opening: no problem

2.75 inch opening: Easy

2.5 inch opening: doing fine

2.25 inch opening: Bit of a struggle, but as Mr Meeseeks says: CAAAN DOO!

2 inch opening: Alright, lets try chewing the opening a bit, As long as we get the nuts into the mouth (huhuhu) we good I guess…

Uh-oh… Steve is getting greedy

:insert grunts of effort here:

Taking a break…

The guy who made the original video decided after a long struggle to help Steve out.

A New Challenger approaches!

1.75 inchs: Quote Mr Meseeks: “OOOHHH HE’S TRYING”

GIMME GIMME GIMME

He ends up giving up.

Source: Chris Notap - Squirrel ● literally ● bites off more than he can chew ! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sS4ach0CwN4

via imgur

a collection of some of my favorite mystic messenger chat bubbles

𝐑𝐨𝐦-𝐂𝐨𝐦 𝐆𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐖𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐠 || 𝐎𝐜𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐞 𝐱 𝐅𝐞𝐦!𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐱 𝐌𝐢𝐫𝐚𝐠𝐞 [𝐀𝐥𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐔𝐧𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐞]

𝘖𝘤𝘵𝘢𝘷𝘪𝘰 𝘚𝘪𝘭𝘷𝘢 𝘪𝘴 𝘚𝘜𝘊𝘏 𝘢 𝘱𝘢𝘪𝘯. 𝘛𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘢𝘨𝘢𝘪𝘯, 𝘮𝘢𝘺𝘣𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘪𝘴 𝘰𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘴 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘦𝘹. You find yourself in a fake relationship to prove something to your ex.

Also on AO3!

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐎𝐧𝐞: 𝐆𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐋𝐨𝐨𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠

“I said I don’t—”

“What’s that? I’m already on my way up!”

That is all it takes for you to press the bright red button on the screen. Then you throw your phone on the bed before slumping down with a groan.

Octavio Silva is such a pain.

Then again, maybe that is on you for staying friends with your ex. 

You still remember the last time you saw him. He was standing outside your door, looking amazing in his neon green hoodie. But all you could think about was how someone else had just been wearing it before he got there. So you told him to leave.

His hazel eyes widened as you shut the door on his face. Then you stood there by the door with bated breath as you listened for disappearing footfalls. 

Would the high-speed daredevil slow down, just this once, just for you?

He did. 

He knocked on the door and called your name again and again, but you just curled up into a ball and cried yourself to sleep. Then you woke up two hours later to a message from him asking if you could still be friends.

You still don't know why you said yes. One thing's for certain, though: now you have nothing but regret for that decision.

“You know, you could always block him,” your best friend Elliott Witt reminded you when you complained to him about your situation one day. The rational part of you that still exists agreed with Elliott. Yet you couldn’t find it in you to block Octavio. But now, in the midst of deep breaths, you decide it’s never too late for rationality. 

The loud knocks at the door almost make you drop your phone.

“[Y/N]!”

You shuffle towards the door and peer through the hole. Sure enough, Octavio stands outside, swaying and holding a red solo cup in his hand. He’s not wearing his mask. He never does when he’s around you, which used to make you feel special. But you push the feeling away this time.

Never mind that he remembers your room number even in his state.

“Finally!” Octavio cheers as you open the door. “Thought you’d never open the door!”

You roll your eyes. “So why did you go here specifically?”

“Just felt like seeing you, hermosa,” he says. A wink thrown in your direction catches you off guard and takes everything in you not to throw your arms around him and bury your head on his chest and just weep.

“Well, now you’ve seen me,” you say instead. “Happy?”

He leans on the door frame. “Yes,” he breathes out. His eyes are dancing as he gazes at you.

Don’t you know that you don’t have the right to do that to me anymore?

You get the urge to shut the door in his face once again. But the breeze is getting cooler and the night is dragging on and his gaze is starting to lose its focus and yet his eyes still search yours like a puppy wondering if it’s going to get kicked out once again— 

You find yourself letting him right back in.

***

You can’t sleep. 

How can you sleep, anyway? Octavio—your ex —is sleeping on your couch and you can hear the sheets rustling and your room smells like him and—and—

And you still love him. 

That, you’ve always known. You just don’t like admitting it to yourself, let alone out loud. So when Octavio calls your name in the dark, you resist the urge to call him by his nickname. You simply respond with a “Yes?” 

“How have you been?” he asks.

You suck in a deep breath. “Great. I’ve been doing great. Uh, what about you?”

“Amazing! I’m still getting lots of likes,” he brags.

“I’m happy for you.”

“Uh-huh. You haven’t been liking my photos.”

“You know I don’t use social media much anymore.”

“You?” He chuckles.

“Yes,” you insist. It’s true, you’re currently undergoing a social media detox. And although you miss watching funny videos and looking at pictures of cute animals, you know it’s for the best. You can’t risk seeing Octavio’s posts; you know you’ll only end up wallowing in self-pity.

Yet here you are now, sleeping in the same room as him. Granted, nothing that shouldn’t happen has happened. And you’re making sure it stays that way. But you roll over on your side to face him and he’s already looking at you.

"Tavi, I—"

“Are you dating anyone now?” 

sorry for acting batshit crazy I was feeling a little unwanted

YouTube

2024 Total Solar Eclipse: Through the Eyes of NASA (Official Broadcast)

Watch live with us as a total solar eclipse moves across North America on April 8, 2024, traveling through Mexico, across the United States

On Monday, April 8, 2024, there’ll be a total solar eclipse – and it’ll be the last one to cross North America for 20 years. Make sure you’re tuned in to our live broadcast for this exciting event: there’ll be views from along the path of totality, special guests, and plenty of science.

Make sure to follow us on Tumblr for your regular dose of space!