Doodles After Watching The Movie! 🐱🐦‍⬛

this is so embarrassing to admit because i've been into mhyk since 2022 but only was updated with ms1. i just read paradox roid story yesterday and what the fuck. what are the canon mhyk lore implications of cain making a promise to owen and does tsushimi bunta know i'll offer my life for them

Designing the calling card

chapter 275

okay. you know there's this scene in chapter 275 where chu wanning rushes to the site of mo ran's trial on his cutesy "paper " dragon?

i love that scene so much.

cwn cries.

2ha is majorly from mo ran's pov, and before 275 you get plenty chances seeing mo ran wallow in guilt and struggle between loving cwn and confessing to cwn what unforgiveable things he did in his past life --

and cwn loves him, he's shy about his love, but since they established their relationship up till this chapter, cwn is mostly passive in the relationship -- i don't mean this as a bad thing, but you don't really see what cwn wants -- he's very very much permissive with whatever mo ran wants to do with him, and he doesn't say no.

but in 275, he fucking cries, he lies low on the cutesy paper dragon and weeps, because he fears for mo ran the judgement that would come onto him.

he tears up so little, like meatbun says everyone just thinks he's the unreachable "white moonlight" the most honourable person in the world -- but for mo ran he breaks down, gets really vulnerable, and at the end of the day he is just a lover freaking out for the atrocities their partner is about to suffer.

also in the scene where cwn consoles mo ran in his semi-confession/breakdown, and the ending scene where cwn flees back their home at the nanping mountains, cwn is leading taking charge in their relationship and it shows, how much he loves mo ran, how deep the love is.

their relationship and experiences are so fucked up but i love their love so much it's fucking beautiful.

Malleus Draconia and the Cognitive Dissonance of being a Lonely Prince

A character analysis exploring Malleus’ conflicting views of self

Malleus has two primary characteristics that are significant to his identity: (1) His role as a highly revered, feared, and praised mage & prince and (2) His loneliness and social/emotional isolation.

In Malleus’ concept of identity, these two characteristics are in conflict with each other, despite one somewhat being caused by the other. How can a person reconcile the fact that they are supposedly extraordinarily special, talented, attractive (this is canon in universe btw lol), intelligent, beyond powerful, etc. - essentially a perfect prince - with the fact that they have no friends and barely anyone who cares about them (excluding those he feels are obligated to care)?

Malleus has no strong emotional connection with anyone that is not his family (I include Lilia in this category) or one of his guards (who, in spite of Sebek’s protests, is basically obligated - socially or role wise - to respect and love him). Now, I don’t think any of these relationships is obligatory or disingenuous in any way. Lilia, Silver, and Sebek all genuinely love and care for Malleus. However, I’d argue that isn’t how Malleus sees it (I’ll get into this later).

First, I wanna go into the first characteristic I mentioned, him being revered (+feared) because of his status and capabilities.

Before I even get into him as an individual, let’s look at how Malleus himself perceives the mere status of royalty:

Malleus believes (I suppose because of his personal circumstances) that people who are royalty inherently deserve respect. He even extends this to Leona, who he has a (playfully?) hostile relationship with. I don’t think there’s canon indication that this necessarily means he looks down on people of non-noble birth or anything, but he’s still stuck on this idea that, in certain respects, royalty does deserve better than the average person.

Clearly, this would extend to himself as well. Part of his self-image is kind of decided from birth (in an interesting parallel to Leona who believes that his own status as a second son decides his fate from birth) because he is raised in this environment where he is constantly told that he is better than others, simply because he is a prince.

That said, Malleus takes being royalty and a leader very seriously. I’d argue he believes that because he is ‘better’ than others, he has certain responsibilities and duties that he must complete, as shown above.

Part of this also means that Malleus takes himself very seriously - he isn’t allowed to even try to be normal, because he always has to keep himself in check. Anything he does will reflect poorly upon himself and his family, and this is something Lilia reminds him of.

Here’s where I’ll talk about Malleus’ relationships with the rest of Diasomnia.

Now, Lilia is clearly the person who treats him the most casually and normally. He knows Malleus very well, to the point where he can read his emotions - namely his jealously/bitterness/frustration after being left out of something.

Lilia encourages Malleus the most to try and have normal experiences. He understands Malleus’ loneliness, and wants him to make friends - to seek out more than he could have all alone in his castle. But, Lilia also has times where he acts as more than a mere guardian to Malleus. I can’t find the screenshot, but I remember Lilia reminding Malleus about what behaviour is and is not befitting of an heir, so that aspect of their relationship is still something to take note of. Even Lilia, who understands him better than anyone, still must wish for him to be the best heir and prince (sometimes sacrificing his own wants, although Lilia probably does this the least considering he knows Malleus’ feelings).

It’s no exaggeration to say that Sebek worships Malleus to the highest extent (just look at the portrait of him in his room). The way Sebek talks about him isn’t at all like a friend or even family - Malleus is a god to him. I argue that Sebek’s behaviour specifically (he would cry if he knew this) distances him the most from Malleus emotionally.

This will be explored more later on, but what Malleus wants is to be treated somewhat normally, at least by a few people he can be close with. Sebek does the opposite of this. While the students who are scared of Malleus isolate him because of their fear, Sebek actually accidentally isolates him because of his dedication and worship. Thus, both Sebek and others isolate Malleus through their treatment of him because of his position/status/strength.

Malleus certainly cares for Sebek, but I don’t believe he thinks of him as a genuine friend (and that’s not meant as a way to dismiss the relationship they do have, just that he doesn’t view Sebek as caring about him as a person rather than him as a prince/mage). How can he, when Sebek constantly acts like a fanboy around him?

Now let’s look at Malleus and Silver.

Silver addresses Malleus as either ‘housewarden’ or ‘master.’ Again, to my previous point about Sebek, I think this does point to Silver and Malleus’ relationship not exactly being a friendship. However, I think differently to Sebek, Silver does have more of a personal relationship with Malleus.

He treats Malleus with respect and formality, but he isn’t over the top with it. I’d argue they have a sort of ‘mentor-student’ relationship in a way; not exactly that, but you understand my point. Silver looks up to Malleus as a person, and Malleus is willing to teach Silver about things. I almost want to say they’re a bit like a younger and older sibling, but I think a bit of the closeness/familiarity is lacking (at least for now). The relationship still has a bit of a formality to it, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t personal. I won’t spoil for those who haven’t read book 7, but I think their relationship becomes more clear there, iykyk.

I know most of Malleus’ vignettes are played for a joke, but holy shit they make me sad. You can tell that ever since he enrolled, if he wasn’t sharing a class with Lilia, Malleus has basically had to work alone for everything. Even here, Cater is only asking Mal if he wants to join his group so he can use Malleus for Magicam clout. Everyone is so scared of him that he’s never had a partner and he’s even gotten used to it. It might not seem that serious, but honestly - sorry to be crude - this kind of thing does fuck you up, especially while growing up.

Think about how Malleus feels - being the outcast and genuinely having no friends feels humiliating and depressing. It makes you think there’s something wrong with you, and that’s the way I choose to interpret the other aspect of his character. His passive acceptance to social isolation and rejection is a constant among his vignettes - anytime someone brings this up, he’ll say it’s fine and he’s used to it.

Another relationship worth noting is Malleus’ grandmother - his only living blood relative. Something that stood out to me (and I could be reading too much into this) but Malleus really feels surprised that his grandmother would take time to write her only family member a happy birthday letter?

That’s very sad to me, and I think it’s a reflection of both the expectation Malleus feels is placed on them as royals and his feeling that he as an individual (not as a prince) is inherently less important than any royals duties. He seems to think this way about himself too, treating his princely duties as always more important than anything he would want personally. A letter is a small gesture, and Malleus doesn’t even expect that from his grandmother.

I’ll use this to segue to discussing Malleus’ insecurity and social isolation.

Ever since he was a child, Malleus has been isolated from others. Before he was feared and before he was worshiped, Malleus was lonely. That’s clear to anyone. Now, I want to talk about how this loneliness and isolation has affected his self-image.

Examining his personal relationships, how the rest of the school sees him, and his own views on royalty and himself, I think it’s clear Malleus, on one regard, seems at first glance to think highly of himself. He isn’t arrogant or boastful. Rather, he just is very extraordinary in many aspects.

But, that surface level interpretation completely leaves out the other side of him. While he might excel in skills, Malleus fails on all regards in terms of relationships. It’s clear, no matter how much he says he doesn’t care or that he’s accepted it, that it hurts Malleus every time he is excluded from something.

He tries to hide that he’s upset that he missed the orientation ceremony, but Lilia remarks that it’s clear how jealous he is that Sebek got to attend. When Lilia reminds him that there’s always next year, Malleus immediately dismisses the possibility that he will ever be invited. In his birthday vignette, he states that he hates eating entire cakes and becomes upset when Yuu brings up the fact that they aren’t meant to be eaten alone because he knows. He knows just how lonely and isolated he is compared to everyone else and he hates.

Malleus has mostly given up and accepted that he will ever fit in. He is pessimistic, but to say he does not hope isn’t entirely correct. Later in the vignette, although he may be half-joking, Malleus remarks that Leona may have stopped by to invite him to a party - he’s even excited by the prospect. And again, he is let down. Leona even taunts him spot-on for his greatest insecurity (isn’t he just so dreamy?).

Now, while this does offend Malleus to a degree (see their catfight where he basically threatens to declaw Leona), I get the feeling that this kind of interaction with someone who views him as an equal (or at least, isn’t intimidated nor awed by him in the slightest) is probably pretty refreshing for Malleus. In a way, you get the sense that he enjoys that back and forth with him, because this goes back to Mal’s wish to be accepted and have friends to talk with.

Anyway, to return to my main point: Malleus’ deep loneliness and failure to fit in has likely caused some deep rooted feelings of insecurity (Note: I want to make a separate post on this because it’s kind of a lot, but I think this also contributes to his anxious attachment style). Malleus likely feels unwanted, despite all the great things about him that make people like Sebek fanboy over him.

No matter how powerful Malleus becomes, no matter how many people worship him, Malleus will always feel worthless deep down because no one will accept him for who he is.

The kind of insecurity and loneliness that pervades your life for years and follows you around everywhere isn’t something you can just shake off. No matter how much he tries to reassure himself that he is enough, he’ll never quite be able to quiet the voice in his head telling him that he is wanted by nobody and that he deserves nothing, that things are this way because he is not worth loving.

To conclude, how can Malleus reconcile these two sides of himself - the parts that know he is something great (worthy of worship and praise, even) and the parts that tell him he is worth nothing? Both sides are so extreme, people worship him but almost everyone avoids him. I feel that’s something Malleus must struggle with a lot - trying to hold on to the view of himself as a good prince while feeling that slip away when he becomes emotional.

Thanks for reading if you got this far! Let me know if you disagree or think I got anything wrong, this is just my thoughts and my opinions and I’m open to changing them :)

— longing for someone prompts ◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡

im bathing in angst rn, enjoy!

them haunting your mind constantly, but are you even in theirs?

unconciously searching for them wherever, whenever

itching to text them, yet the guilt of pestering them hits

your stomach being on edge whenever you see someone who has a similar figure to theirs

regularly scouring their social media for any updates

them acting so sweetly which turns out to just be a cruel dream

envy creeping up your throat whenever other people hangout with them

taking them off your mind by hanging out with your friends, just for you to only see bits of their personality in your friends

weeping frustruatedly on your knees because you can't stop recalling your memories with them

surrendering to your insecurities; perhaps they truly are better off without you

hopelessly persuading yourself that you were able to go on with life before knowing them, so you can definitely do it after they left

urging the universe to see them one last time before letting them go (it never happens anyways)

"if anyone is listening, please let our paths intertwine again before the day I take my last breath"

Tealhua Bluehua Yellowhua Northern Deserthua

i have this. reikao fic prompt that has been sitting in my drafts for nearly a year now which is like. kaoru attempting to flirt rei by doing things you would only see in some cliche shoujo manga (because kaoru is an avid shoujo manga reader like the nerd he is!!!!!!). maybe one day i'll get to finish it and upload it on ao3. but it's basically like:

koga: are you trying to seduce sakuma-senpai using cliché shoujo manga scenarios

kaoru: *silent*

koga:

koga: you got to be fucking kidding me

Ways We Show Love Writing Prompts

Carrying a bottle of painkillers for them

Making them laugh when they're upset

Bringing them a drink they didn't ask for

Kissing their forehead

Running your fingers through hair

Buying them something they never would have asked for

Making them their favorite meal after a long day

Knowing their schedule as well as your own

Listening to them rant

Taking interest in their hobbies

Letting them nap with their head in your lap

Doing their hair for them

Telling them to stop working so hard

Listening to their favorite music

Sitting with them after a bad day

Comforting them after a nightmare

Walking in step with them even when you don't have to

Letting them cry on your shoulder

Having their favorite snack in your bag

Squeezing them as tight as you can

Helping them move house

Buttoning up their coat for them when you don't have to

Bringing them medicine when they're sick, even though you know they won't take it

Communicating wordlessly across the room

Sharing a plate of food

Helping them build their confidence before an important meeting

Making sure they're safe on their way home

Helping them calm down

Remembering their favorite things

Rubbing their feet for them

Pulling over to comfort them

Having food ready for them when they come home

Turning off the lights when they have a migraine

Making sure they get sleep

Driving them to work just so you can have a few more minutes together

Doing their makeup for them

Buying them a piece of jewelry that reminds you of them

Dancing with them in the living room

Doing their chores for them

Holding hands when you cross the road.

True love conquers all

@llondonfog @serenescribe @admiraltdevanto y'all, this is so sweet. If someone knows the original artist, please let me know