I’m Again Thinking About Nimona Because Why Shouldn’t I And A Detail About It That I Love Is That

Trust Lemon

My friends don’t even know who Karlach is and I’ve never talked about her before, but now imma just start vaguely referring to my “cheese wife” and it’ll just be an inside joke between me and myself

oh NO????? 😭😭😭😭🧀🧀🧀

I feel like the first class you played in DND tells a lot about you

Reblog and put in the tags what your first class was

Karlach ⚔️❤️‍🔥🔥

Because I’m curious, I wanted to make a couple of polls. This one is essentially a poll version of a post by @mookybear12404

Please reblog for sample size!! And feel free to tell me about your first characters!!

For all my Karlach enjoyers

I no longer wish to produce milk

[footage of the inside of an ordinary Eastern-European home, taken with a handheld phone camera, the man filming is walking from the living room to the back door of the house]

man, narrating in russian: Every fucking year, this time of the year, the pond at my backyard gets infested. What do ponds get infested with? Frogs? Poisonous weeds? Geese? No. Not my pond.

[The man opens the back door, stepping out into a garden. Three or four nude, human-like figures dash from the borders of a pond back into the water.]

man: Rusalki! I don't know where they come from or how they get here, and I can't afford to hire an exterminator every year. I can't let my cat outside anymore. Last year a rusalka managed to drown a whole deer in my pond, the stench was unbearable.

[He walks as he speaks, approaching the pond. There are several eerily beautiful female beings peering at him from under the surface, their long hair floating in the murky water. Their eyes are gleaming in an unhuman way. The man holding the camera stops to film them.]

man, calm and deadpan: What the fuck are all of you staring at. Get jobs or something.

[One of the rusalki, smaller than the others and clearly not a fully matured adult, slowly reaches out of the water with her white, thin hand, grasping his ankle. He appears unconcerned.]

man: You can't drown me, you little idiot. You're too small. Shoo!

[A loud thud startles the rusalki, making them scatter. A second thud makes it clear these are the approaching footsteps of something massive. The man turns around and points the camera at what appears to be a house, walking past above the treeline with chicken-like legs]

man, now yelling: IF YOUR HOUSE SHITS ON MY YARD AGAIN I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD-

I Wish I could be a ghost

Like, not to be scary or to haunt people, but to just hide peoples keys and move a couch across a room. I just want to fuck with people in a way that I’m currently unable to do at this moment.

So there’s this famous phrase in Genesis, “לא טוב היות האדם לבדו" (“lo tov heyot ha'adam l'vado”), which means “it is not good for man to be alone.” I was thinking today that it might make a nice Jewish friendship bracelet or wedding ring inscription or something. Problem is, if you try to split it up it becomes

לא טוב היות האדם לבדו

“Existence is not good.” “Man is alone.”

All the other ways of splitting them up are similarly awful. And on the one hand, I think this is really kind of beautiful—how this phrase, which is about togetherness, is so beautiful as a whole but cannot be broken into parts without itself becoming splintered and distorted. The language mirrors the very nature of humanity that it describes.

But on the other hand it totally ruined my friendship bracelet idea so @G-d this is a callout post