1)Van Gogh +Paul Valéry, From Collected Works, The Voice Of Things 2) May Sarton, From A Journal Entry.

Well the question is "why are you sad when you get home??"

People say, stop thinking about things that pains you. It's your time at home with your parents, enjoy , have fun, spend time with them.

Well I am sorry , I tried but I can't. I ain't that person even after several trials. I am not trying anymore .

I am home. In my space where I can breathe , I can talk without people judging me. I am alone with my vulnerable self. I am sad, trying to feel my pain.

I am feeling things deeply. If I am going through something that is uncomfortable or painful or hard, I am allowing myself to dive into those emotions or allow myself to numb them. I don't wanna kill my pain through television or spending time with friends or Instagram. I chose not to protect myself from pain because it demands to be felt . Pain demands to be felt . Coz I feel it will show up in other ways if I do not deal with it now.

I CAN ,I CAN ,I CAN, I CAN,

I CAN DO IT

The quieter you become, the more you are able to hear. ✻.ღ.*.Rumi.*.ღ.✻ ƬĤΛИҠ Y♡Ʊ F♡Ŕ ßƐĪИƓ    

The only thing holding me together right now is the fact that I'm too tired to fall apart.

I don't wanna die by suicide

I want an accidental death. I don't wanna bring shame to my family by killing myself, becoz if ppl find that I killed myself, they ll cook up numerous false theories and even blame my parents for their lack of attention. When it is accidental, nobody is gonna know what I went through, why I was yearning for an end..it was just a instant untimely death, might even sympathize with my parents, gossip a Lil about me and my family and will leave the hell of outta my home after those funeral functions.

Idk abt my family, ig they shud be fine, mom will prolly despise me for being selfish enough to think that I wanted an end. After all, she did say that you get all that you prayed for.

I love you , i like your aura , I love the way you smile , I love the way you wear yourself. Everything about you is so mesmerizing that i wanna feel you every second of my day ...❤️

I really wanna get out of this kurti version of me

I choose not to keep up the illusion of a bond that doesn't exist

The day I met you , i wasn't sure you were the one for me . Unexpected meets always end up till death. I adore the way this is working. Until this day you are the only secret in my life. I know that we feel for eachother alot that even moonlight can't get in our way. It's been 4 years ❤️.