Nvm My Stupid Ass Got Rejected 💀

dealing with the worst case scenario

your condom breaks

you feel a lump on your breast

your friends are ignoring you

you’re stranded on an island 

you got rejected by a crush

you get into a car accident

you got stung by a bee/wasp

you got fired from your job

you’re in an earthquake

your tattoo gets infected

your house is on fire

you’re lost in the woods

you get arrested abroad

you get robbed

your partner cheated on you

you’re on a ship that’s sinking

you fall into ice

you’re stuck in an elevator

you hit a deer with your car

you have food poisoning

your pet passed away

you fall off of a horse

you or your friend has alcohol poisoning

you have toxic shock syndrome

your house has a gas leak

Leo Valdez headcanons

Leo Valdez most definitely had a crush on Clawdine from Monster High as a kid and Piper will not let him live it down

He's terrified of babysitters, always claims he'll never leave his kids with someone unless he knows for sure they're not a god/goddess

When asked breasts or thighs he claims his favourite part of a chicken is the personality. Every time. Without fail. He thinks it's hilarious

HE'S NOT A PRETTY BOY HES CANONICALLY UGLY AND I LOVE HIM THAT WAY

Compares himself to others A lot, a little bit of an inferiority complex

Tells Piper everything (they're siblings in my head)

Very affectionate, even if it's just platonic, he's touch starved and will take a hug at any opportunity

He's got a scar in his eyebrow but his eyebrows are so thick it's barely visible. He got it from a desk when he was four

Absolutely loves women with unique facial features/structures

Goths in chunky boots🖤

Because his mother died when he was so young he never learnt to speak Spanish fluently. He tries to learn but he's busy a lot working on projects and it makes him a little upset

The only time he ever saw his mother's grave was at her funeral because he was so far away in so many different foster homes

Went through some shit while in the system and refuses to talk about it. That's why he ran away so much

Thinks Frank is really cool, won't say it though cus he thinks Frank hates him

I love when people reblog my posts and add their own little segments or opinions when they reblog it makes my day

Yet another reason to hate the hidden world

In the second movie Valka had eyebags and wrinkles. In the third she looked like a Victoria's secret model

THATS NOT THE SAME PERSON

Making incorrect httyd book quotes out of conversations I've had with ais.

Hiccup: sometimes I think God stays in heaven because he's afraid of what he's created.

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Fishlegs: I've had enough. *eats fibre glass wall insulation*

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Camicazi: Is being left handed a disability?

Hiccup: What the fuck did you just ask me!?

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Fishlegs: I wanna chew ice.

Hiccup: you have an iron deficiency.

Fishlegs: FUCK!

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Camicazi: what's trigonometry? Is it like a type of stick?

Hiccup: it's a branch of maths regarding the study of triangles.

Camicazi: so if it's a branch of maths then it's a type of stick?

Fishlegs: oh lord help me.

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Camicazi: I'll bite you.

Fishlegs: tbh you're so short I'd just assume you were a teething baby.

Camicazi: I hope you enjoy staring at coffin lids.

Dragon memes pt. 2 (Hiccup Time (+Dagur, Astrid, Heather)bc he's my favourite and I said so)

Eret: Where I’m from locking someone in an arena with nothing but a knife, a wooden shield, and an angry monstrous nightmare would be considered a public execution.

Hiccup: skill issues.

Eret: didn’t you almost die?

Hiccup: well I was pretty weak for a 15 year old, someone else could have done it. Probably.

Eret: YOU WERE FIFTEEN!?

I think the reason people are using dreamworks to hate on Disney is because Dreamworks relies on more of a fantasy element where there's magic and fairies and it's all set in the past or in a magic land where everything's interesting whereas Disney relies on pixar and Marvel to make shitty movies that all have the same character tropes and the same morals that are all set in the modern world or the future

Dreamworks can acknowledge that people don't really like the present because of the whole screen addiction thing so they stick to a timeline and a theme where screens are rarely and sometimes never necessary while Disney likes to focus on being inclusive so they modernise all their stories.

Also Dreamworks is more open to experimental work and the animators have more creative freedom to draw things in different styles or give the characters different features and personalities and details and little mannerisms and habits (Take Hiccup for example: handicapped, left handed, talks with his hands alot, adventurous, smart but stupid about it, very peaceful) while all Disney's characters are hollow and a sort if copy and paste theme.

Dreamworks takes more risks to put out movies with plots and characters that no ones ever seen before while Disney just takes stories they've already done, changes up the characters a little bit and them adds a message about generational trauma.

This leads to my rant about how much I hate httyd 3.

The soundtrack was too melodramatic. And the visuals were all bright and colourful to get the attention of 2 year olds. The light fury design was pathetic. The only reason the light fury exists is to be Toothless's girlfriend. Then they went against everything they'd worked for within the first 2 movies. In the first 2 it was all about how Hiccup and Toothless are bestfriends and stick together no matter what. That was even the moral in the 2 shows, first Christmas special and one of the short spin off films. But the third movie went against all of that and made them separate. It ruined the trilogy! The second movie however. The soundtrack fit perfectly for each scene and the colour scheme was perfect. In the scenes where Hiccup discovered his mother and the bewilderbeast nest the colours are appropriate and bright while not bombarding the screen with flashing lights and colours while the scenes featuring Drago had a more dark and sinister colour scheme, as well as the music becoming more heavy and ominous. Where as in the hidden world the colour scheme always had bright colours which made it feel less dark and scary. They modernised the Viking age so that it would be more appealing to younger generations. But the thing about the how to train your dragon fan base is that it mostly consists of people aged 12-27.

hi i saw ur post about wanting to take requests to write about hoo and I have one for u

Maybe leo×automaton reader? I was listening to polyester girl and thought it'd be a funny idea (i also just hate calleo with a passion) ok bye thxx

W song choice also so real for hating calleo. I actually love this idea so I'm really glad you asked me to write it and thank you for being the first to request a fic!

Warnings: pet names (babe)

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Leo thought you were beautiful. With your soft skin and lush hair. Leo found it unfortunate that it wasn't real but he loved you regardless. He's never been good with people, never understanding what made them tick. But with you, since you were an automaton, it just came naturally. It's like he had a 6th sense for everything you needed. Like his magic Hepheastus powers allowed him to read your mechanical mind. He knew when you wanted flowers, when you wanted hugs, when you were bored or upset and he always tried his best to adhere to your needs.

You sat cross-legged on the floor, holding your hair out of the way while he worked on fixing a loose cog under the hatch in the back of your neck. "Jeez, Daedalus really put work into this, huh?" He muttered, impressed by the wiring and pumping of your robotic insides. Back in the labyrinth, Daedalus not only had a son, but a daughter. You weren't mentioned in mythology because you weren't as relevant as your brother Icarus. You'd never truly felt seen, being kept alive for centuries just so your father had someone to speak to to prevent insanity in the confined walls of the maze while everyone above spoke of the tragedy that was your brother's death. Maybe if you had been reckless you'd have the same recognition he does. But you were glad you'd been smarter than him because if you hadn't you would've never met Leo. Leo made you feel seen, wanted, tended to. Leo loved you, and he made that abundantly clear.

"Babe, pass me a screwdriver real quick?" He requested, gesturing to the screwdriver in the toolbox by your knee. "The small one, please." When you handed him the screwdriver he thanked you, pressing a kiss to your temple as a show of gratitude before he returned his focus to the back of your neck. You looked to the side with your eyes, watching in the mirror as he sat in a position that made him look like a shrimp with his tongue poking out of the corner of his mouth and his thick eyebrows knitted together in unwavering concentration, careful not to mess up or ruin anything. He'd never forgive himself if he messed you up somehow. He shut the hatch and grabbed your shoulder to spin you around and face him, like a hairdresser after giving you a funky new hairdo. You smiled at him and took his hand. "Thank you, Leo."

Leo fought back a shudder as your freezing cold hand intertwined with his. "No problem, babe. I love you." His hand heated up to warm yours before he let his hand cool down, the heat sticking to your fake skin and giving the illusion of a real hand holding his. A feeling he yearns for. He knows you can't give him that feeling, you know it too. And he knows you can't help it, but he craves it. No matter how realistic your skin feels or how defined your carved in fingerprints are, you aren't a real human. Not physically atleast. But even so, he loves you and there is not a thing in the world he'd give you up for, not even warm skin.

CALLIBURN IS PENTAGLION⁉️⁉️