I Miss Home (but This Is Home)

i miss home (but this is home)

kim minjeong x fem!reader

synopsis: when you step into the house, the smell of your mother’s cooking greets you, as if reminding you of all the memories long buried. but behind your warm smile, there’s a voice in your heart whispering, ‘this isn't the home you wanted.’ even though you’re here, your soul longs for the place you left behind—a place where you felt free and full of hope.

warnings: implied cheating; angst; mention of food; i wrote this in 5 hrs and i’m sleep deprived so it may not make sense at some parts; the story is set in japan (mostly) but i didn’t know much japanese idols so please ignore my character selection🙏; i forgor abt amari at the end.

a/n: i actually proofread this one once yay👍 actually got this idea while listening to NIKI’s split a d reading tbhk comic volume 8. #i'm grindimg yoo🔥🔥🔥 forgot to say that the story is mostly taking place in japan😭

exactly four years ago during winter, after you’d finished your daily task of shoveling snow from the driveway, a silver sedan parked at the house across from yours. that house had been empty for a long time; its last residents were an elderly couple—mr. and mrs. jones. your family had become quite close to them after being neighbors since the day your parents moved into the house. by the time you and your sister were born, they were like a third set of grandparents, often inviting you over to play. unfortunately, they decided to spend their old age in europe when you were nine.

though you were curious about the new residents, you decided not to watch the movers unload boxes—or their child, gleefully carrying their own box—after hearing your mom call you for dinner. only after everyone had gathered—your parents, your older sister karina, and the family’s beloved doberman, amari—did you mention what you saw earlier. “hey, did you know someone moved into grandpa jones’ house?” everyone turned to you in confusion.

“yn, sweetheart, did you forget or were you not listening to what i told you yesterday, huh?” karina playfully pinched your cheek, which you allowed. after a moment of thinking, you slapped your forehead.

“ah! i totally forgot. it’s, uhh, mr. and mrs. jones’ son and daughter-in-law, right? when are we visiting them, dad? i want to give their kid a present!” without waiting for a reply, you said enthusiastically, “oh, they have a kid?” your dad replied in the same cheerful tone.

“yeah, looks to be about my age.”

and that’s how you found yourself in this situation, punching the face of a school bully notorious for picking on new kids—especially the ones who looked timid and helpless.

“wow, wow. looks like someone wants to be a hero…” yunjin, their leader, sneered at you, wiping the blood dripping from her lip. she ordered her twin, yujin, to fight back, but before she could swing, you grabbed the new kid’s wrist and took off running.

after escaping through the school gate—the guard was stupidly asleep—and stopping once you felt safe, you let go of her wrist. you went in search of the nearest convenience store for drinks, and she followed you quietly.

“pick anything you like, it’s on me!” your positive energy seemed to surprise her a little, but she didn’t say much after you both chose drinks and you paid.

“thank you..” she said softly after you both sat down on a swing in the park just a stone’s throw from your house.

“no problem! uh...”

“minjeong. my name’s kim minjeong..” her soft voice spoke again.

“ah! so you’re korean too! i’m yn, kang yn! nice to meet you, minjeong.” you switched to speaking korean, extending your hand. and in that split second, you both somehow knew you’d quickly become inseparable friends.

“don’t go anywhere without me, okay? yunjin’s gang is known to be… well, you saw, right?” you shrugged, making sure minjeong was safely inside her house before heading back home.

“whoa, dropping off your girlfriend, huh?” your nosy sister (who was about to leave for her evening class) teased when you got home.

“no! just a friend. besides, i’m old enough to get mom’s permission to date, right, mom? i’m fifteen this year.” your mom just hummed in agreement.

the next day, as you requested, minjeong waited for you in front of her house to walk to school together. “morning, minjeong!!” you waved your hand energetically with your full energy at the early hour.

at school, you didn’t run into yunjin’s gang; your classes were on completely different floors. they were in class F, while you were in class B—not bad for someone a little lazy. unfortunately, minjeong hadn’t taken her class placement test yet and was temporarily assigned to class F. when you learned this, you were worried to death, but minjeong assured you she’d be fine, so, reluctantly, you let go of her arm—and you swore you heard yunjin’s gang’s mocking laughter.

at lunch, you let your friends know not to wait for you in the cafeteria since you’d brought lunch from home, and then you sprinted to minjeong’s classroom. “minjeong-ah! let’s eat lunch together!” you yelled unashamedly, causing a teacher passing by to jump a little. you both picked a spot under a big tree near the soccer field to have lunch together. “how’s class? did yunjin’s gang bother you?”

“no, i threatened them. told them i’d make them pay if they messed with me. i told them i was actually a taekwondo expert, and they didn’t dare touch me.” you burst out laughing at minjeong’s story, “ha! oh my god! my stomach hurts! they’re so gullible?” wiping tears from your eyes.

and so went your high school days, with minjeong—who quickly became close to your group—you, ningning, and kazuha, though you ended up closer to minjeong because of how close you lived. sleepovers, movie nights, and study sessions filled your evenings—and your sister’s pranks. you didn’t realize it then, but your understanding of home started to change because of the person eating ice cream beside you.

winter passed by quickly, and summer came with all its love stories. minjeong, who was once calm and gentle, began to pick up some of your traits, cheerful and spirited. once again, you found yourself in minjeong’s room.

“got any plans for summer break?” you asked, lying on her bedroom floor while she sat on her bed, playing her nintendo.

“uhuh, spending it with you.” it happened again, your heart rate suddenly spiking, and your face flushing red, “i mean— to, uh… what are you planning to do?” you stopped fanning yourself.

“i dunno, whatever you wanna do, i’m in.”

turns out she wasn’t lying. you decided to help at a local eel farm for harvest season! minjeong, who absolutely hates eels, hesitantly dipped her feet into the muddy pond full of eels, and as soon as one coiled around her ankle, she screamed and fell right in (in the end, you were the only one helping with the harvest, but at least minjeong agreed to forgive you and keep you company under the shade of a tree after you bought her two handfuls of ice cream). with clothes full of mud, you two spend the rest of the day cycling through the entire village—with minjeong being your passanger princess. a few days later, you both visited some high school festivals with food stalls and arcades before attending the big event together with your families—the tanabata star festival.

“are you ready?” your dad's head popped in from the front door. he and your mom were wearing matching yukatas, as was your sister with her girlfriend giselle, and you...

“minjeong!!!” after getting out of your respective cars, you quickly returned to minjeong's side, linking arms with her.

“remember, you need to be back by 9 sharp if you don’t want to walk home alone,” your mom reminded you again.

and so began the great snacking adventure at the stalls with minjeong! you started with classic food, takoyaki. the steaming, round snacks tempted you to eat them, and you devoured them hot. minjeong reached out her hand, and you reflexively spit a round piece of takoyaki into her palm. she tossed it into the nearest trash can and washed her hands three times with soap before you both bought melon soda at the adjacent stall. after that, the tanabata star festival wouldn’t be complete without playing goldfish scooping and shooting games! you successfully got the teddy bear you wanted, but seeing minjeong's disappointed face when she couldn’t win the bunny plush she desired, you decided to trade yours for it.

“what did you write for your wish?” the night grew late, and the fireworks show was about to start. even though it was already 9:30, you and your sister agreed to go home together in your dad's car after your parents were too tired to continue and headed home first. “you better not turn on do not disturb!” your sister shouted before her girlfriend pulled them away for a photo.

“...it's a secret.” minjeong covered her tanzaku paper.

“hey, i gave you my red tanzaku!” ah, there it was; your childish side hadn’t fully faded yet.

“fine, but show me yours too.”

bingo. minjeong wrote, ‘i hope i can always be with yn,’ and you wrote, ‘i hope minjeong can always be with me.’ you quickly exchanged your papers and then laughed awkwardly—at least you got the green light. after hanging your tanzaku on the large bamboo tree, you climbed a hill a bit away from the crowd, spread out a blanket, and laid out the food.

you sat under the starry night sky, enjoying the scattered lantern lights around the festival. minjeong glanced at you, who was busy finishing the takoyaki you had earlier—both of you had agreed to eat while sitting. after a moment, minjeong smiled and began to tell a story.

“you know, yn?” minjeong started, her voice soft, almost like a whisper. “this tanabata festival actually has a really romantic story. it’s about two stars, ori-hime and hiki-boshi… they are a couple living in two different worlds, separated by a great river called ama-no-gawa—which we know as the milky way.”

you paused from putting food in your mouth and looked at minjeong; of course, she knew. your siater’s japanese girlfriend had told her about it at the tanabata star festival three years ago. but you tried to maintain a look of amazement.

“they can only meet once a year, on the night of the tanabata festival,” minjeong continued, gazing at the sky as if searching for the two stars. “that’s why people like to write their wishes on tanzaku, hoping their love can be as strong as ori-hime and hiki-boshi’s. even though they’re separated, they keep looking for each other… they believe that one day in a year is enough to strengthen their love.”

you smiled softly, a bit shy. “that sounds like an unforgettable love story.”

minjeong nodded slowly, then looked at you with a gentle gaze. “yeah… there’s something beautiful about people who are willing to wait, right? they both remain strong and faithful, even though they have to be apart for so long.” minjeong paused for a moment, as if savoring her own words. “maybe true love doesn’t always have to be together every day. sometimes, just waiting for each other and believing that in the end, they will meet again is enough.”

you felt your heart race at minjeong’s words. slowly, you smiled as if you understood the hidden meaning behind the story. you both looked up at the sky again, each with a wish tucked away in your hearts (which were actually the same).

as the moments leading up to the fireworks display drew closer, the atmosphere around you became increasingly tense and filled with anticipation. the sound of people whispering filled the air, while the lanterns flickered in the night breeze. minjeong looked at you with sparkling eyes, as if she wanted to express something that had long been buried.

“yn,” she said softly, her voice almost drowned out by the crowd around. “i… i feel like there’s something more between us. ever since the first time we met, my heart has raced whenever i’m with you.”

a gentle smile formed on your face, your heart beating faster. “i feel it too, minjeong. you make me feel comfortable and happy like never before.”

time seemed to stand still as minjeong leaned closer, the distance between you narrowing. the fireworks began to adorn the night sky, bursting forth in stunning colors. in that magical moment, you locked eyes, ignoring the commotion around you.

“do you want to share our wishes tonight?” minjeong asked, her face trembling with hope and tension.

“of course, i do,” you replied, feeling your heart race with excitement. before you realized it, the fireworks exploded above you, casting bright lights that made the night even more dazzling. amidst the cheers and awe surrounding you, minjeong leaned in and gently touched your face before her lips found yours in a soft, heartfelt kiss. as the fireworks erupted in the sky, their colorful lights created the perfect backdrop for that moment—the moment when two hopeful hearts finally united.

after that night, you officially became the subject of teasing in your household. returning home with slightly messy lip tint, both of you were immediately put on the spot by karina and giselle in the car. “did you just kiss?” checkmate. no one dared to speak, but your flushed cheeks answered their question. your parents of course knew right away because the first rule in the house was: ask for permission if you want to date! and it shouldn’t affect your grades.

but oh, it’s true that summer and seventeen are inconvenient times to fall in love. your dad was reassigned to the us after spending 19 years in japan. three months before your departure back to the us, he finally told you. it was the first major fight.

after hearing the news about your father's move to the us, you feel worry creeping into your heart. mixed emotions fill your mind—happy for newfound love, but also afraid of loss. that night, you decide to talk to your mother in the kitchen, a place that has always felt comfortable for you.

“mom,” you say, your voice soft. “what should i do? we're leaving, and i… i don’t know what will happen with minjeong.”

your mom pauses for a moment, looking at you gently. “honey, i know how you feel. love can be strong, even when separated by distance. i experienced something similar with your father back then.” she reminisces, a nostalgic look filling her eyes. “we had to communicate, trust each other, and do our best to stay connected. love won’t disappear just because of distance.”

her words offer a little relief, but the worry still lingers in your mind. after that conversation, you feel a bit calmer. and surprisingly, minjeong doesn’t even cry when you tell her about the news—or perhaps she’s just accustomed to staying calm in all situations.

the night before your departure, minjeong takes you to your favorite spot, where the night sky is filled with stars. there, she has a little surprise for you.

“yn, i want to give you something,” she says, pulling out a beautifully decorated tanzaku paper. “this is our hope for the future.” you open the paper and read: ‘may we always be together, no matter the distance that separates us.’

your heart races as you see it. “minjeong, this… means so much.”

minjeong then gives you a small bracelet made of colorful threads. “this is a reminder for you, so you know i’m always with you, no matter where we are.”

you both exchange warm hugs, feeling the emotional moment as the stars shine above.

“can we write letters to each other? even though we can also text every day...” you suggest, the idea making you feel more at ease.

“of course,” minjeong replies with a smile. “every month we’ll exchange letters. it’ll be our tradition.”

as you write down your hopes and dreams on the paper, the atmosphere feels full of warmth and love. when the letters are exchanged, you feel the bond between you grow stronger. even though distance will separate you, you believe this love can endure.

but oh, you are wrong again. in the early years, you and minjeong did exchange messages every day, writing to each other every month, but suddenly all that stopped. you both got busy with your respective studies, especially with graduation day approaching. you, studying law, were busy helping to handle cases at the firm where you interned.

time passed, and the messages that once filled your days began to dwindle. at first, you hoped everything would be okay, but without realizing it, distance and busyness gnawed at your relationship. the longing was there, but no words came out. one day, as you returned to the city where you first met during your semester break to visit your sister who continued her studies and lived with her girlfriend there, you decided to visit the famous tanabata festival again. the atmosphere felt nostalgic, reminding you of all the beautiful memories with minjeong. you almost wanted to call her but changed your mind, wanting to surprise her by picking her up on the bicycle you used to ride to the eel farm. even though your relationship over the past two years was unclear, your status was still girlfriends—or at least that’s what you thought, and you hoped to see her (hoping those feelings still existed).

upon arriving at the festival, the lively and festive atmosphere reminded you of the moments with minjeong. you strolled around, observing the lanterns shimmering in the night, hoping to feel her presence. suddenly, your ears caught sound of a familiar chuckle.

minjeong.

she stood near the bamboo tree, surrounded by a crowd, but something was different. as you approached closer, your heart raced. minjeong looked radiant in a beautiful dress, her face is still pretty as ever but the lines of her face have grown to be more... mature.

“i feel like i’ve known you forever! you’re so easy to be around.” she said as she laughed with someone standing beside her, your heart felt a deep ache. it felt like time stopped for a moment as you stared at her. however, as her gaze shifted to the person beside her, you felt something was off. when she reached out for the person’s cheeks, you finally noticed the sparkling ring on her finger. ah, you were too late, it seemed. you’re pretty sure that the tanzaku you and minjeong once wrote were still hanging at the tree because look, you are together right now. how funny, you should’ve been more specific. you turned around with a chuckle, decided to go home and pack for the earliest flight to US. unbeknownst to you, minjeong catch glimpses of you when you were stopping by the kiosks. she made a mental note to visit you after she’s done with her date.

as minjeong and her ‘date’ wrapped up their evening, her thoughts kept drifting back to that glimpse of you she'd caught at the kiosks. she couldn’t shake the nagging feeling that something was left unsaid, unfinished. after parting ways, she decided she couldn’t wait any longer and headed straight to your place.

meanwhile, you’d already started packing (karina was at her girlfriend’s). the memories were overwhelming, and each item you placed in your suitcase felt like a little piece of the life you were leaving behind. just as you zipped up your suitcase, you heard a familiar knock on your door. surprised, you hesitated, debating whether you should ignore it. but then you remembered her smile, the tanzaku you’d both written, and the promises whispered under the stars. with a sigh, you opened the door.

there she stood, slightly out of breath, eyes searching yours. she seemed hesitant, almost as if she was second-guessing herself.

“are you…going somewhere?” she asked, her voice soft as usual.

you nodded, trying to keep your composure. “the earliest flight to the US,” you replied. a moment of silence passed between you, filled with all the things neither of you had said. her gaze dropped to the ring on her finger, then back to you.

“look, i…didn’t know how to tell you,” she whispered, the weight of the moment evident in her tone. “but when i saw you today, something just…clicked. i couldn’t stop thinking about us, and how we were—”

you cut her off gently, a bittersweet smile on your face. “you don’t owe me anything, minjeong. i’m happy for you. really, i am.”

but she stepped closer, not letting you finish. “maybe not, but i owe myself the truth. and the truth is…there’s been someone i’ve been seeing since you left-” she glanced down, biting her lip as if debating whether to say more.

“then why did you…” your voice faltered as you glanced down at her ring, a painful reminder of how things had turned out.

“i was- i love you yn, but it’s hard for me to consistently giving love to someone who’s not present.” she admitted, her voice barely a whisper. her eyes searched yours, guilt and longing all wrapped into one.

frankly speaking, you wanted to beg for her to love you one more time, you want to throw that ring across the continents but you two remained silent. your gaze fell down as you told her, “i loved you too, kim.”

kim minjeong was your home after all.