So follow up to my first post. Apparently all of the accounts were NSFW and are now blocked.
I FOUND IT AGAIN WHOOP WHOOP @rabiessnail
I know the fandom mostly agrees that Jason is that one always unemployed sibling in the family, but let me offer you a slightly enhanced concept - unemployed sibling Jason, who is the busiest sibling in the family.
No one can get hold of him. Like, ever. And it is not like he is lying, he is genuinely always has something else to do! Something random and unexpected, and, honestly, all his family can think is: what the hell?
Bruce, frowning: Remind me again, why the dinner in the circle of the family today doesn't suit your... schedule?
Jason, shrugging: I have a book club evening in the nursing home. We are discussing Margaret Atwood's Penelopiad tonight. Can't miss it. Also, Jennet-
Alfred, confused: Who is Jennet?
Jason: One of the old ladies in the nursing home, duh... Anyway, yeah, Jennet is having a birthday. She would be hella mad if her favourite grandson missed it, you know?
Bruce: ...Jason, you are not her-
Jason: (leaves)
Dick: Hey, wanna join me for tomorrow morning's training?
Jason, sighs: Sounds nice, but I have classes tomorrow.
Dick, confused: Classes? Since when you are enrolled in college?
Jason: Oh, no. I am a substitute teacher in one of the school's around.
Dick: WHAT-
Damian, calling Jason in the middle of the day: Can you pick me up from school? Others are busy, there is an emergency in the town.
Jason: Damn, sorry, kid, but I am not in the country right now. By the way, do you want to talk with your mother?
Damian: ...What that supposed to mean? Where are you?
Jason: I was planning to visit All-Caste, but first decided to meet up with Talia. I am kinda in Egypt right now, anyway.
Damian: ...
Tim, already used to Jason's constant busy status, sighing: I bet you won't agree if I call you on the lunch tomorrow?
Jason: Uh, no. I have plans. But if you tag along with me, we can get lunch together later.
Tim, surprised: ...Okay. What do you have tomorrow? Knitting club? A shift in library?
Jason: Nah, graduation ceremony.
Tim: Right, you are a substitute teacher.
Jason: No, no. My graduation ceremony. I am getting my PHD in literature.
Tim: SINCE FUCKING WHEN-
CAN you PLEASE PLEASE make a drabble of Toji taking care of sleepy Mamaguro and Megumi? I think it would be so adorable. đ§
oh to continue writing happy toji and happy mamaguro reader... đŹ
the mission was simple: stay up until 12 a.m. to wish toji a happy birthday. you and megumi, the last-standing warriors of the fushiguro household, sat by the door like hyper puppies, waiting for your beloved husbandâyour fearless protectorâyour batman (you are not explaining to a six-year-old what an assassin is)âto return home. it was going perfectly until your phone buzzed.
gonna be late. emergency job. donât wait up.
you stare at the screen. then at megumi. then back at the screen.
the bastard forgot his own birthday.
your son, wise beyond his years, folds his arms and scowls. âso, what, we just give up?â you slap the table dramatically. âabsolutely not.â
if there was one thing you and megumi had in commonâbesides your unwavering judgment of tojiâs life choicesâit was stubbornness. this mission would not fail. if your husband wanted to be late to his own birthday, that was his problem. but you and megumi? you were gonna be ready. so, naturally, you both made the worst decision possible.
sugar boost.
you and your six-year-old co-conspirator sprawled across the couch, sharing a single pack of gummy bears like it was some kind of sacred ration. one gummy at a time. chewing slowly. blinking at the wall in utter silence like two very small, very deranged owls.
"mama."
"yeah, baby?"
"do you think papa is the strongest man alive?"
"of course."
megumi chews thoughtfully. "do you think he could lift a cow?"
you consider this. "...easily."
"two cows?"
you hesitate.Â
-
itâs 11:57 p.m. standing in the doorway, looking like he just crawled out of a damn action movie, is toji. the duffel bag slung over his shoulder drops to the floor with a heavy THUD, and heâs met withâ
a beautiful handmade "happy birthday, papa!!" banner, decorated with poorly drawn badtz-maru stickers, because megumi has commitment to the bit.
you, sprawled out on the couch like a crime scene victim.
megumi, passed out on top of you, his little hand still clutching a half-eaten gummy bear.
toji stares. something in his chest tightens. he lets out a quiet sigh, running a hand through his hair as he steps inside, shutting the door behind him. exhausted as he is, something about this sight makes his heart ache in that weird wayâthe kind of warmth heâs still getting used to, the kind that makes him feel like maybe, just maybe, he didnât screw up as badly as he thought. without a word, he moves over to the couch. and because yes, he is that manâhe lifts both you and megumi in one go. you stir slightly, groggy, mumbling, "cow..."
toji frowns. "what?"
megumi snorts in his sleep, muttering, "two cows..."
toji, confused as all hell, just grunts and carries his weird, sleep-deprived family to bed.
the next morning, as the sun peeks through the curtains and the birds chirp outside like they're personally taunting you, you and megumi prepare for phase two of tojiâs birthday celebration: chaotic wake-up call.
toji, the strongest man alive (and also the biggest sleeper in the house), is sprawled out on the bed, dead to the world. he sleeps like a log, one arm thrown over his face, mouth slightly open, because even assassins need their beauty rest. you and megumi exchange a look. a silent nod of understanding. then, in perfect sync, you both take in a deep, deep breath andâ
"HAPPY BIRTHDAYYYYYYYYYY!!!"
tojiâs entire body jerks like he just got shot. his arms flail, his head snaps up, and before he can even process what's happening, you and megumi double down with a second round of high-pitched, ungodly shrieks right in his ear.
"what the hellâ"
but before he can even think about grabbing a weapon (because letâs be real, his first instinct is to attack), he realizes exactly who the culprits are. and oh, oh, you two are in trouble. his sleep-deprived brain short-circuits for about half a second before years of combat training kick in.
he lunges.
"ohâRUN!" you shriek, shoving megumi, but itâs too lateâtoji grabs you both in one swift motion, rolling over and pinning you down, locking both of you in a vice-like headlock.
"GOTCHA!"
"NOOOOâ!"
megumi screams in betrayal as toji mercilessly ruffles his hair. youâre not spared either, as he buries his face into your neck, delivering an absolutely brutal barrage of kisses like itâs a full-scale attack.
âYOU WANNA WAKE ME UP, HUH? THAT HOW WEâRE PLAYINâ THIS?â
"toji stopâ" you wheeze, kicking your legs as he plants an exaggeratedly loud kiss to your cheek. megumi shrieks, wiggling with all his might, but toji just grabs him tighter, pressing another series of dramatic, disgusting dad kisses to his forehead. "UGH, PAPAAAA!" megumi yells, offended.
"nah, nah, you started this, kid," toji cackles. "you and your big mouthâwhat was all that âtwo cowsâ shit, huh?â
"STOP!" megumi flails harder, but he is six and toji is built different. eventually, though, he relents, flopping back with a satisfied smirk, letting you both gasp for air like shipwreck survivors. "youâre the worst," you pant. megumi, hair now a disaster, groans. "i hate birthdays."
toji just smirks, stretching. "eh, still my best one yet."
yaâll were really gonna let me live my life in ignorance thinking mr. rogers was straight???
Since the last widely used #tawog iceberg was made by @imaginationstudios8 nearly four years ago at this point I've gone and made my own updated 2025 version with a whole bunch of new and tweaked entries that have been found and/or expanded upon since then!
How many of these did you know about? How many are new to you? Let me know!
and for those who don't know some of them and are curoious to learn more, I have also gone ahead and created a google doc explaining each and every entry on the iceberg! Enjoy!