It’s Fun To Stay At The Y

I hate hate HATE all those 2edgy 4me theories about kids shows. Like Angelica dreaming up the rugrats, or the ed, edd, and eddy children being ghosts, or literally anything that takes a lighthearted and fun kids show and has to turn it into some tragic take of rape or murder or misinformed mental illness. So you know what? From now on I’m gonna do the exact opposite. Every cool grim-dark show is now because of a bunch of children. To get us started: Game of Thrones: A middle-school DnD campaign with the most angry, vindictive DM who has promised to kill everyone’s player characters (and their family) by the end.

being unemployed is rad but being unemployed in a world that treats employment as a necessity that completes you as a person while also having zero access to unemployment benefits is maybe not so good

“i am a monument to all your sins” is such a fucking raw line for a villain it’s amazing that it came from halo, a modernish video game, and not some classical text or mythos

My Fox McCloud tulpa i made to help me drive: "Good merge kid, at this rate youll be a first rate pilot"

Me: "thanks captain, but uhh h, idk if your paw should be in my jeans while i drive"

last pure hearted man: "i hope god doesnt noticr me jaywalking"

One thing most people don't realize about Gazebos is how bloodthirsty they used to be until the 1930s or so. It used to be that in order to appease your average small town gazebo you had to feed it 4-5 marching bands a year, or roughly 2 dozen barbershop groups. Noawadays? Throw it a steely dan cover act every 6 months, maybe a bridal party every few years if you're actively trying to court its favor, and you're pretty much in the clear. And the crazy thing is nobody knows why they calmed down, or that their appetite for flesh won't return to its 19th century heights one day. It's actually an increasingly popular theory among modern Gazebo researchers that we're at the tail end of a period of dormancy and it's only a matter of time until they start howling for blood again. And if/when that does happen there's the question of whether our modern zeeb-keepers are really ready for the task of booking enough sacrificial acts to meet that increased demand. Guild policy has gotten lax in the century since the heyday of Dark Pavillionism and a lot of local keepers refuse to even look at newer research that threatens to upset their status quo. Kind of scary to think about

being 5'7" is so fucked. AND i'm a top. i suffer more than you could ever know.

Sometimes I see some variety of North American Little Guy (opossum, raccoon, etc. ) and I’m like “okay”

BUT THEN I start thinking about how excited somebody from not-North-America would be to see this Guy. Like, would an Australian be excited to see the only marsupial not from their country? Are there raccoons in zoos on the other side of the world that are regarded as unique and exotic creatures? Idk but it’s made me more excited to see Guys in my area.

Listen... I love how floppy and throwable Astarion is. I love that he has a whopping 8 strength. I adore that a particularly stiff breeze could send him far, far away, and you'd have to search the trees for half an hour to find where he went.

BUT I do headcanon that he has the strength benefits of vampirism like any other spawn. They're just kind of? Inaccessible unless he's VERY well fed and/or is in a situation he'd very desperately rather not be in.

Like a mom who summons the strength of 100 gorillas to lift a truck off of her child. He's scooping you up with one arm and leaping out of the way of danger like it's nothing. Or snapping a guy's neck like a twig when he ambushes the two of you one night. Or punching a hole through a rock wall and bending back metal bars as thick as your forearm to break your asses out of jail.

He'll also be just as surprised as you are when it happens. Every time it happens. And then once that wears off, he'll be ridiculously smug and giddy about if for the next ten-day AT LEAST.

having anxiety is like being given permanent unwanted custody of a halter arabian. like okay buddy is it panic time again. cool you probably need more exercise and an apple and then maybe you'll calm down.