HIZASHI YAMADA💛💛💛💛💛
DAY 15
GIVE IT UP FOR DAY 15
its time for the tantrum hole
Note to self: spending nearly 3 hours hunched over my embroidery like Gollum and unblinkingly staring at tiny tiny beads is Bad for my body.
To the folks who is responding to my silly little poll about how y'all are progressing on projects during this holiday crunch with "I don't make gifts anymore because they are not appreciated", I am so very sorry y'all have had that experience.
I sometimes think we all have.
I no longer paint, because as a teen I spent months on a painting for my sperm donor in yet another attempt to bring out of him the father I always wanted. He promptly began criticizing everything that was wrong. Heartbroken, I took it back on the pretense I was going to "fix" it. Years later, after I finally ended my relationship with him; I burned it in a ritual as a final break from him.
I never painted a picture again. Rarely drew.
Having someone not appreciate your gift or are pointedly indifferent to it will shatter your soul.
To all y'all who have experienced this, I am so very sorry. I give to you my sincerest love and deepest hope that none of us experience that ever again.
Also, I am so proud of y'all for protecting yourselves! It is not worth the pain and anger to go through that shit again. I know some of y'all have that deep-rooted guilt because you have heard "but <insert excuse>" your whole fucking life until it just sits inside you giving your internal bully ammo to hit you with. (Especially true when it comes to family.) Let me assure y'all, it's bullshit and it eventually goes away.
To those who are planning to give handmade gifts, may each and every onr bring the kind of joy that sets your soul alight.
i made a guide for ppl