I Know People Always Say 'just Don’t Engage With Fandom If It Upsets You That Much,' But I Still Can’t

I know people always say 'just don’t engage with fandom if it upsets you that much,' but I still can’t believe that both pieces of media I’ve loved over the past five years got completely screwed because of the fandom.

First of all, I have this basic human urge to share and discuss stuff I love but it always ends in disappointment and arguments, and now my favorite characters are tied to all that mess. Like, I can't look at Viktor or Astarion normally without some sort of bitter aftertaste. I literally sold all my Astarion merch and refused to buy Viktor merch, stopping at just the artbook.

Second, and this is true for both Arcane and BG3, the fans directly influenced the actual work. They literally made the creators change canon. How am I supposed to ignore that? How can I just 'separate myself from the fandom' when the fandom, at this point, can straight-up affect how the story evolves under their pressure??? Bg3 companions only got softer and more malleable because a handful of people whined that they were “too rough”. About the plot, retcons, and apparent changes to the themes of arcane s2 is the stuff for a 300 page statement. I'd be much more relaxed about this if marketing team weren't collecting data from social media to then put into the final products.