S H E

So, something I learnt the other day. So, you know how dinosaurs supposedly can't see you if you stand still? Well that myth is based on real-life lizards/etc and how eyes in general work. So, once my dad starts infodumping, here comes some other cool information. We, humans, can in fact, also not see something unless it's moving. We fixed this by having our eyes constantly shake. And then our brain compensates for us, so we don't have to have shaky vision.

What if aliens don't have this? Like. What if they find out when one of us was looking at something in the distance, and they walk around this thing that's in front of them, and the alien is confused so they bob their head and oh, there's a thing there, but how did the human know that, and then we explain and they're like, horrified.

Humans are apex predators. They can hunt in packs. They can hunt in pairs. They can hunt on their own. They're persistance predators, which is unheard of. They get stronger when they're mad or scared. They have this thing called 'body language' which acts like a type of hivemind, even if they'll claim it isn't. And. They can see you. When you're not moving. They can still see you. If you ever find yourself in a fight against a human, for whatever reason? Run. Run as fast as you can. And hope, pray if you have a religion, that they won't follow.

Sinner! Adam is the first person to not mistake Alastor for a deer, change my mind

Adam: the fuck are you losers doing?

Angel: me ’n Charlie wanna know if playing deer alarm calls will make Bambi freak out

Adam: you’re wasting your time

Charlie: it’s worth a shot, and this could help us get to know Alastor better!

Adam: like, do whatever, I don’t give a shit, but at least do something relevant to elk or shit won’t happen

Charlie: that’s what we’re doing?

Adam: he’s an elk, bitch, not a deer, so deer calls won’t work

Angel, scoffing: yeah, ’cuz you’d know more about Alastor in six days than us in six months

Adam: uh, I fuckin’ would know! I named the animals, course I know the differences between ’em. That red edgelord is an elk!

Alastor, appearing behind Adam: *sips Zestial-style out of his ‘oh deer’ mug like the pun negates Adam’s point*

Adam, visibly unimpressed: *plays an elk bugle*

Alastor, becoming rapidly less congruent with reality as he grows building sized: *destroys a wall and loses his entire shit in a show of power that would scare Lucifer*

Adam, who fears not even God himself: ha! I was fucking right! Dick-fucking-master! Hey, why are you two running away? Sore losers!

Inspired by @teanster123

“It’s okay to not be okay” is dumb

I propose “it is within standard deviations to be dysfunctional” instead

All those moving fanarts of Alastor discovering asexuality are very sweet and cool, but let’s not kid ourselves you guys, let’s not kid ourselves.

A little bonus:

Deaf dog training log: part 4

Sandor is improving heaps on “Stay”

She used to move as soon as she lost sight of me, but now she can wait a bit for me to pop up again. Gonna keep practicing distance and losing sight

Sunroof 😎

(In Frank’s pilot voice) I wish Rosie would chop my tits off with a meat cleaver

"Trans Alastor doesn't make sense" no it doesn't, but the idea of Rosie chopping his tits off with a cleaver is really really funny you guys

COLOUR THEORY COLOUR THEORY COLOUR TH—

CONTROVERSIAL OPINION ABOUT BISEXUALITY

that purple in the middle is not the right saturation, it doesn't fit with the other two colors and it drives me crazy.

Back by popular demand. English Willy part 3

(Idk if I'll do another bc I feel like its run its course and unlike Scott Cawthon I would like to end my series on a high note! But to everyone who sent in asks or showed support or generally took part I love all of you and had so much fun with this. I might do more in future but I don't want part 4 to hang over me as something I HAVE to do)