horny4hetfield

Latest Posts by horny4hetfield

Did he REALLY take his cigar for a swim??!!??

I went snorfelling and found this!

Need this! But hold on to your wallets ....

LOAD FANS ALERT 🗣🗣🗣

Did anyone else notice that his Scary Guy is branded into his hat?

Inverted image.

Flipped image. It's RIFF on his right fingers, not FFIR.

I had to chuckle!! This came up in my FB feed!!

Faithfully

Warnings: Tissues might be needed. I needed a reason to have a good cry. Also discovered it's hard to type when you can't see the keyboard.....

I remember the first time I saw her.  Well, I heard her first.  Me and Lars had gone out to dinner.  As we walked back to our cars, we passed a small dive bar.  The voice that came floating out the door intoxicated me.  I stopped dead in my tracks.  Lars, still yabbering away, plowed into me.  Almost in a trance, I walked into the bar.  She was standing on the small basement stage with four other musicians.  I found a table in the back and sat, barely aware that Lars had followed me.  No one noticed we’d entered the place.  She finished singing Dreams by Fleetwood Mac.  The crowd applauded.

“Y’all liked that one?” she giggled.  The crowd yelled their appreciation.  “What do you want to hear next?”

“The Boxer!”   “Nothing Else!”  “Sound of Silence!”  “Faithfully!”

“Hey! Hey! Hey!  You know I don’t do Metallica!” she laughed, pointing to the guy who’d called out my own song, before turning to get a drink “Well, not in San Fran anyway!"  There was laughter in the crowd.  “Let’s end the night on a high note” she laughed with the band.  They launched into Faithfully by Journey.  Again, I was entranced.  That last note I thought she’d never let it end.  It floated in the air effortlessly.  The crowd happily cheered them.  Her.  I turned to Lars “Damn!  She’s good!”

“Are you thinking with your head or your brains?” the little Dane snarked with a laugh at me.

Laughing slightly, “Probably both!”

Me and Lars left the place as the house lights came on.  Over the next couple of weeks, I saw her perform as many times as I could.  I would always sneak in after they had started performing.  Not once was I recognized.  Well, the barkeep recognized me, but kept his mouth shut and even helped get me in and out without too much hoopla.  A couple of times, I sat on the backbar to watch.  Her.  The barkeep was the one who told me that she was single.  And her name.  Y/N.  That name struck a chord in my heart.  Y/N was a natural on the stage.  Every night, she would turn down the request to sing any Metallica song. 

One night as I tried to sneak out the back, I plowed into Y/N.  Literally.  I parked her on her ass.

“oohff” escaped her as she landed on the floor.

“Oh man!  I’m super sorry!”  I pulled her to her feet “You ok?”

Rubbing her butt, “Yeah.”  Then she grinned “It’s all good.  You ok?  I kinda mowed into you a little hard there.”

“Yeah, I’m good.”  I could see that she was blushing.  I think I was too.  “You sounded good tonight.”

Y/N looked down at her hands for a second, then back up at me “Just tonight?” she said softly.

“You noticed?”

A huge smirk plastered on her face “You are kinda recognizable.”  She crinkled her nose a little “And kinda tall.”

“Yeah, that has been a problem over the years.”  She giggled.  “Can I take you out to dinner?” I asked feeling like a teenager.

Shrugging her shoulders slightly, “Sure.  Not sure what’s open at 2am, but sure!”

We ended up at a Taco Bell.

The first time I kissed Y/N it was like we were both zapped by static electricity.  What was supposed to be just a kiss quickly became something much more.  Ok.  We ended up in bed.

We started dating.  Seriously dating.  I had her at my side as much as possible.  The age difference – she’s 8 years younger than me – doesn’t bother me.  Y/N claims that it doesn’t bother her either.  The height difference – I’m 6 foot 1, she’s 5 foot 2 – quickly became a constant joke between us.  Well, everyone.  She’s even shorter than Lars!

A month later, I asked Y/N to move in with me.  “You know what’s going to be said about that, don’t you?” she grimaced slightly.

“What?” as I wrapped my arms around her.

“That I’m mooching off you” she put her hands on my chest.

“You’re a better singer than I am” I caressed her hair.

“That’s debatable” she sighed out.

Turns out, we both suffer from serious performance anxiety.  We both manage to cover it up pretty good once we get on stage.  Getting us there can be another story.

One night, while cuddling in bed – after we’d fucked each other silly – I finally asked, “Why won’t you sing Metallica songs?”

“I don’t have the voice for it” Y/N stated simply.  “I don’t have the power.  I’d love to be able to sing the heavy songs, but my voice just lacks … something.”

“I think you’d do a great version of Nothing” I smiled at her.

“Maybe” she grinned.

I took her camping that weekend.  We ended up spending most of the weekend in the tent as it poured down rain.  If memory serves me right, neither of us could walk straight as we packed up the truck, giggling the whole time.

Y/N walked slowly out of the bathroom one morning about two months after the hiking trip.  Her face pale.  Her hands shaking.  The pregnancy test stick wobbling in her hands.  “James” her voice shook.  I just pulled her into my lap.  “We were so careful” she whispered.

Seeing the pink plus sign on the tester, “I know” I kissed her forehead.  “One must have broken.”  I rocked Y/N in my arms a moment.

“James?”

“Yeah?”

“Stop rocking me.”

“What?”

“I’m nauseous enough.  Please stop rocking me.”

“Oh god” I stopped rocking.  But snugged her tighter to me “Sorry.”

“I’m so old” she whimpered.

I kissed her forehead.  “I know this won’t be easy.”  I kissed her forehead again.  “We need to get you the best baby doctor.”

Wrapping her arms around my neck, “They are called OBGYN.”

I held her tighter, “I got you.”

Within days, I’d found her the best one in the city.  Ok.  Avi found the OBGYN.  The doctor called it a Late In Life pregnancy.  And it would not be easy.  And that we should consider all the options.  ALL the options.  Y/N quickly batted down the hardest idea immediately.  “No.  If we aren’t supposed to become parents, then the Fates would not have let this happen.  I’m not going to throw it away.”

“Ok.  I got you.”

“I know that you already have kids.”  The worry plain on Y/N’s face.

“I do.  But, I’m willing to move forward with this.”  I put my hand on her belly, “If you are.”  Y/N just nodded and snuggled up closer to me.  I held her tightly.

During one of the baby doctor visits, a sonogram was performed.  We were both excited to see our baby.  Then Y/N’s face paled “Doc?”

“Yes Y/N?” she smiled.

“What’s that?” Y/N pointed to a small bulge on the side of the image.

Moving the wand, “Well look at that!” the doctor smiled.  “Twins!”

I just looked at Y/N.  With a look of total panic etched on her face “Twins?” she whispered.

“We’ll manage” I whispered into her hair.

She nuzzled into my neck “mmk.”  Then sighing “I will need to stop performing.”

I looked into her eyes “Why?”

Smiling “That’s one less stress in my life.”

I huffed out a laugh “That’s true!”

Then we heard the heart beats.  Two little washing machines swishing away.  The doctor gave us prints of the sonogram.  I stuck one on my mic stand in my vocal booth at HQ.  Y/N put one on the fridge at home.

The following weekend, Y/N put on her final performance.  Rubbing her growing belly the whole time!  Me, Lars, Kirk and Rob showed up.  Y/N even pointed us out.  When she announced that this would be her last performance, the crowd was shocked into silence.  Until she announced why.  The applause grew in the crowd.

“Ok.  So.  What should be my last song for y’all?” she smiled at the crowd, hand on her belly.

I had already schemed with the other three.  We yelled out “Nothing Else Matters!” louder than everybody else.

Y/N, leaning on the mic stand and holding her belly, laughed loudly.  “Well, only if you four dorks” pointing at us “get up here and join these four jerks!” she hiked her thumb over her shoulder at her bandmates.  Her band was behind her almost begging us to take the stage.  As we walked to the tiny little stage, the audience went nuts.  As part of my scheming, Avi had made certain that me, Kirk and Rob had guitars at the bar.  Lars was stuck with the drum set already there.  I stood behind Y/N as she sang my song.  Perfectly.  When done, Y/N took her bow.  We encouraged the crowd to keep applauding her.  Turning around, she saw what that eight of us behind her were doing and she smacked my bicep.  Hard.  But laughing.  Flipping my guitar to my back, I grabbed Y/N and planted a deep kiss on her.  Right there.  On that tiny little basement stage.  I heard the crowd go quiet.  Then they burst out cheering.  From behind the drumset, Lars yelled “Get a room!”

Kirk chimed in “They already did!”

The place busts out in laughter.  I eased us out of the kiss, smiling at her.  She wrinkled her nose at me, then rested her head on my chest. 

The four of us pushed Y/N and her band to front of the stage to take their well deserved bows.  When the house lights came on, I handed off my guitar to Chad and took Y/N’s hand leading her off the stage.  I again kissed her, my hand resting on her belly.  Her hand covered mine as her other arm wrapped around my waist.  I almost carried her out to my truck.

Y/N made me call my grown kids to tell them the news.  “They don’t need to find out from the gossip rags.”

Over the following months, Y/N began having some serious medical issues.  The doctor put her in the hospital.  With two months to go.  It almost drove her nuts with the restrictions they had on her.  They actually counted the number of steps she could take in 24 hours.  I stayed with her, trying to keep her spirits up.  I’d sit in her room and play guitar.  I wrote several songs there.

As baby delivery time got closer, Y/N was – at times – exceedingly uncomfortable.  I would sit on her bed rubbing her belly.  Or her back.  Or her cramping feet.

One night Y/N woke me up, smacking me hard.  “James!”  I bolted upright.  “James!” she was panting hard.  The stupid call button had fallen off the bed.  I hit the button as I held Y/N.  She clutched my wrist, eyes wide in both pain and fear.  “It’s too soon” she almost begged me.

The door crashed open with all the night nurses entering the room.  Within minutes, Y/N was being pushed to delivery with me running behind the bed.  I held her hand as the contractions quickly became strong.  The doctor was soon there too.  Concerned over all three heartbeats, natural delivery quickly became a Cesarean.  A barrier was lifted over Y/N’s midsection.  The nurses let me get up by Y/N’s head.  I wrapped my hands around her head and the back of her neck, my lips right beside her ear.  She rested her forehead on my cheek.  Her fingers clutched at my wrists.

Our first child – a son – was laid on her chest.  Screaming.  Y/N started giggling hard “He’s a Hetfield!”  Our second child – a daughter – was also laid on Y/N’s chest.  We both rested our hands on the naked little beings.  Our kids.  Y/N started crying softly.  I joined her, kissing her temple.  Once the stitches on Y/N’s belly had been done, the doctor checked out the kids.  Both were a little underweight, but acceptable for twins.  Then we are told that our son was born on the 6th.  Our daughter on the 7th.  Even though they were born only 4 minutes apart.  Y/N giggled softly leaning her head into my arm, “At least they get their own birthdays!”  I joined in the giggling.

The kids were taken to the nursery for a full check out as they wheeled Y/N back to her room.  The lead night nurse leaves a couple of clipboards on the bedtable, “You’ll need to get these filled out soon.  Please.”

“Can those wait till morning?  Y/N really needs some sleep” as I watch Y/N fight to keep her eyes open.

“Sure” the nurse smiled before leaving the room.

I stretch out on my side next to Y/N.  She leans into me.  I gently rub her eyebrows “Sleep.”  I feel her body sag into sleep a few moments later.  I lay there gently rubbing her eyebrows, letting my fingers glide over her forehead, down her cheeks, over her lips softly.  She snorfels softly in her sleep, nuzzling deeper into my chest.  My hand naturally went to rest on her belly.  I almost smacked her as the large baby bump was gone.  I leaned my head on hers.

The blinding sun shining in the window woke me.  I stretch slightly as I am still cradling Y/N.  The mother of my twins.  Heaving a sigh, I kiss her forehead.  I detangle myself to go use the bathroom.  When I exit, I pick up the clipboards.  One for our son.  One for our daughter.  Their names blank.  Our names had been printed out as the parents.  I look at the woman sleeping in the hospital bed in front of me.  My heart is not sure if it wants to break or is so full it’s breaking.  I have three grown kids.  It hits me that I am going to be in my early 80’s when these two graduate high school.  Heaving a sigh, I reclaim my spot next to Y/N.  She snorfels awake.

“hey” she whispers.

“Hey” I kiss her forehead “Mom.”

She starts to snicker, then reaches for her stomach.  “Stitches.”  Looking up at me, she kisses my chin “Morning Dad.”  She snickers again, “But then you are used to being called that.”

I nod, “I am.  But it’s always special to hear it.”

There’s a soft knock on the room door.  “Come” I call out.

It takes two nurses to wheel in the basinets with our kids.  They are being a little fussy.  I push the button to raise the head of Y/N’s bed.  One of the nurses hands Y/N our son.  “They might be a little hungry.”

Y/N blushes some “I think the diner is open” as she looks at the wet spots forming on the front of her hospital gown. 

Smiling “Can I show you?” I ask her.  Y/N gently smiles at me blushing even more.  I gently pull open the front of the hospital gown.  Cupping our sons’ head, I guide his little mouth to her wet nipple.  He latches on almost immediately.  I take Y/N’s hand and guide it to the back of our son’s head, holding it so he can happily feed.

“You’ve had kids?” the first nurse looks at me.

“Three” I smile back at her.

“Then, I will leave you to it” the first nurse grins as the two leave the room. 

I collect our fussing daughter and pace with her until our son is done.  “Here” I smile as we trade kids.  I pace the room more, gently patting our son on the back.  The small bundle lets out a massive belch.

“Like father like son!” Y/N snarks softly at me.  I chuckle softly.

Again, we trade off kids.  I pace the room burping our daughter.  She lets out a smaller belch.  We both snicker.  I put our daughter into the bassinette.  As I go to lay our son into the other, they start fussing again.  I look at Y/N and she just nods smiling.  Shifting our daughter a little, I put our son down next to his sister.  It seems that both kids sigh before drifting off to sleep.  I push the empty bassinette into a corner of the room and push the loaded one close to the bed.  I collect the clipboards and retake my spot next to Y/N.

“So.  What are we going to name our kids?”

Heaving a sigh “I was thinking ….” her voice trails off.

“Yes?” I kiss her forehead.

“For our son, Forest.  For our daughter Ivy.”

Nodding, “I like those.”  I kiss her forehead again.  “How about middle names?”

“I don’t know.”  She looks at me “Tents?”  We both bust out laughing as Y/N holds her stitches.

Our son is named Forest Cliffton.  His middle name a combination of Y/N’s dad’s name – Milton.  And Cliff.

Our daughter is named Ivy Elizabeth.

Y/N and the kids have to spend at least a week in the hospital.  But the whole crew – including wives, girlfriends and partners – from HQ drop by to meet the newest editions to the immediate family.  Both Lars and Kirk show up to help shift Y/N and the kids home.  Rob, Chloe and Jess have evidently already been to the house as it’s been cleaned up.  Groceries are in the fridge.  Sheets have been changed.  Garbage taken out.  There are several premade dishes in the fridge for us. 

Just getting Y/N into the house and tucked into the sofa has exhausted her.  The kids are happily asleep in their car seats.  I let them sleep there.  We all sit around the living room talking about our kids.  Kirk’s youngest is just a couple of years old.  All four of us have kids in their teens or older.  I get calls from my older kids wanting to know how their younger siblings are.  I send them photos of Forest and Ivy in their car seats.

It seems like it’s just been days since the twins came home.  But they are beginning to teeth.  I hear Y/N whimper and watch her wince while feeding Forest.

“Stop biting Mama, you little milk vampire!” she chuckles gently at our son.

“That bad?” I grin at her as I hand off Ivy and collect Forest.

“You have been gentler to my boobs than your son!” she grins as she positions Ivy.  “Ouch!”  Y/N shifts Ivy a little “A second little milk vampire!”  I reach down, wipe off Y/N’s other boob and lick off the seepage from my hand.  “Cleaning up after your son, hmm?” she snarks softly at me.  I just nod at her smiling face just before she winces again.  “That’s it.  You two are getting weaned!”  Wiggling my eyebrows at her, I chuckle.  “And if you use what I’ve pumped in the fridge for your coffee again, you’re going to be in trouble!” 

I just chuckle as I walk with Forest into the living room, burping him.  He finally rips a loud one.  Into my ear.  “Yeah, I probably deserved that one!”  Hoisting my son a little higher in my arms, I set about making my coffee.  As I open the fridge, I consider the small bottles on the second shelf. 

“Don’t you dare!” Y/N snarks behind me.  “Literally taking the food from your children for your coffee!”  She’s carrying Ivy and adjusting her bra.  Ivy coos at her mother.  “I know you prefer it warm directly from the tap.  But you are cut off.”  She nuzzles the small face.  I grab them and smooch them both, making them both giggle along with Forest. 

“Well, if they are cut off ….” I reach for one of the small bottles.

Y/N smacks my hand “They are cut off from the tap.  Not the milk!” she laughs.

Several months later, we have returned to the studio.  It’s time to consider the AWMH Concert again.  I pull Y/N into my arms “C’mere.”  We snuggle for a minute.  “I had a thought on the way home.”

She strokes my hair “And what thought is that?” she smiles serenely at me.

“Would you consider singing a couple of songs at the AWHM show?”

She leans into my chest “Let me think on that.”

Three months later, Y/N and I finish the AWMH Concert with Nothing.  She did an amazing job.

Seven years later….

I’m in the studio with the others.  We are putting the final touches on a song for the new release.  Y/N had taken the kids shoe shopping.  It’s been an off day for me.  I can’t seem to get anything right.  I’m frustrated.  Even Lars is seeing that I’m having a hard time and leaves me alone. 

Avi walks into the studio, his face pale.  There’s a CHiP officer walking behind him.  “Avi?” my voice shakes.

“James.  There’s” he gulps, “been … an accident…”

“Where is Y/N and the twins?” I almost bark at him.  I’m barely aware that Chad is there pulling my guitar and in-ear monitors off me.  “Where?”

“Your children are bumped and bruised.  They are in San Fran General” the officer speaks up, taking a couple of steps closer to me.

“Y/N?”

The officer’s eyes are kind.  “She didn’t … make it.” 

I’m aware that there’s someone screaming as I sink to my knees.  Lars has almost knocked over his whole drum kit to get to me. That someone screaming is me.  Kirk and Rob are pulling me to my feet.  Lars slides me into the back seat of the officer’s car and sits next to me.  The officer takes us with lights flashing to the hospital.  Lars leads me through the hallways to a room.  The twins are there, sitting on the bed side-by-side.  When they see me, they collide with me.  I pull them in, squeezing them to me.  We sit there sobbing.

It takes me some time to calm.  The twins have cried themselves to sleep.  The officer has hung around.  “Please tell me what happened” I plead.

“It was a wrong way entry to the freeway in a stolen delivery van.  That van hit a sedan and both vehicles hit your truck head on.”  He’s wringing his hands.  “She didn’t suffer” he almost whispers.

I again break down sobbing.

Lars and Jess help me to plan Y/N’s funeral.  Ok.  Lars and Jess planned it.  I couldn’t.  The twins clung to me over those days.  I let them.

Over the next decade, the twins and I managed to muddle through.  We talk about Y/N all the time.  Her massive silver tabby cat – Mithril - would occasionally sit at the top of the stairs, staring at the ledge in the bend of the stairs.  There’s nothing there.  Y/N had always wanted to put a fake plant there.  But we never got one picked out.  I shiver every time I see her cat staring at the empty shelf.

“Ok you two!  School bus is leaving!” I yell up the stairs to the twins.

“Coming!”   “On it Dad!”

They come storming down the stairs, tugging on jackets, carrying backpacks, dodging the cat.

Seeing my backpack on the table, “Where are you going, Dad?” Ivy asks, her fingers grazing the straps of the pack.

“I thought I’d go glassing for bucks up on the ridge after dropping you two off” I grin at my youngest child.

Ivy’s dark eyes – her mother’s eyes – look at me “Please take your avalanche beacon” she whispers.

I frown slightly at my youngest daughter “Ok.  I’ll take it.”

She kisses my chin, “Thanks Dad.”

“Hey Dad, I’m going with Rudy after school to shoot some hoops.  Is that ok?”

“Sure Forest.  What time do you think you’ll be home?”

“Probably 4:30 or 5.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

“I’m supposed to go help Stacy with her English paper after school” Ivy speaks up.

“mmk.  Same question, Ivy.”

“4:30 or 5ish.”

“Deal.  Let’s roll out kiddos!” as I grab my wallet, backpack, phone and key fob.  As we walk through the garage, I grab my avalanche beacon and attach it to my backpack.  Ivy smiles at me.

After dropping them off, I head up into the hills to a trailhead that I’ve heard has been busy with elk this year.  I wander through the wilderness, spotting several big bucks.  I note where they are roaming.  Checking the time, I turn and start my way back.  As I’m navigating a trail by a ravine, I trip……

I snorfel awake.  Y/N is laying in the bed next to me, smiling gently at me.

“There they are!  Those stunning blue eyes” she purrs at me.

“Y/N?  How are you here with me?”  I rub my forehead, the remnant of a headache fading.

Her fingers are gently playing with my hair “James.  I am not … there ..with you.”  She heaves a sigh.  “You are ….here ..with me.”  I look into her eyes completely confused.  “What’s the last thing you remember?” she smiles softly at me, her hand planted on my chest.

“I’d been out on the ridge glassing…” the images dancing in my head.  “I was walking …. back to the truck.  I tripped….”  She just nods gently with a wonky smile.  “I’m …?”

She nods.  “You didn’t trip.  The lip of the ravine collapsed.  Your head hit a boulder about 15 feet down.”

“That explains the headache” I snark.

“It was instant and I’m glad for that” she winces some.

“Tell me please” I ask her softly.

“When your body hit the bottom of the ravine, the impact snapped your neck and broke your spine in three places.”  She caresses my hair “If you had survived the fall … James, you would never have walked again.  Nor been able to play guitar again.”  She sighed heavily “Ever.” Her fingers gently caress my mustache. "Without the avalanche beacon, they would never have found your body."

It hits me what she’s just said.  “You were there.”

Nodding, “James, I haven’t left your side since you collected the twins after I died” she looks down for a second, then back to my eyes.  “I was lying next to you every time you cried yourself to sleep.  I would sing to you every night.  I was there in front of you begging you to put the beer or vodka back on the shelf at the store.”

The tears are streaming down my cheeks.  My fingers cup her head.  “There were times when I could have sworn you there.  Holding me.”  Smiling, she kisses the corner of my mouth.  “Because you were…”  She just nods slowly.  I pull her into me, hugging her tightly, kissing the top of her head.  Finally easing my hold on her, “Did it … hurt?”

“For a moment” she whispers

“You knew.”

Nodding into my chest, “I did.  There was a concrete wall to my right and three lanes of freeway traffic to my left.  Trying to turn the truck, we would have been broadsided by cars on both sides.  And all three of us would have died.”  She’s wrapped her arms around me.

“So you sacrificed yourself …”

“To save our children.  Yes.”

I again pull her tight to me.  “How are the twins now?”

Putting a hand in the middle of my chest, Y/N pushes up, kissing me, then smiling, “Come with me.”  She holds out her hand.  Looking at me, Y/N crinkles her nose some “This might make you dizzy.”

Pulling me from the bed we’ve been lying in, the moment my feet hit the floor, the room blurs-spins-shakes before coming back into focus.  We are sitting on the stairway ledge.  Mithril is sitting at the top of the stairs.  Staring.  “Hi Mithril” Y/N greets the massive cat.  It meows back at her. 

“He can see you?”  Y/N just nods.  The cat meows again softly.  Taking in the view, the twins are sitting at the dining room table doing homework.  Y/N’s other large cat - Caladan - is sitting in Ivy’s lap.  Staring at us.

Just then, Castor comes almost running to the stairs “Mom!” he steps over Mithril.

“What Castor?” Fran’s voice floats from the kitchen.

“First, the cat is staring again.  Second, have you seen my sweatshirt?”

“Leave the poor cat alone and your sweatshirt is on the back of a chair in here” Fran walks out into the dining room carrying a couple of mugs.  “Here you two go” setting the mugs down in front of the twins.

Forest takes his and sips some, whipped cream sticking to his upper lip.

Ivy’s fingers wrap around her mug.  “Fran?”

“Yes, Ivy?”

“Why are you staying with us?  Onkel Lars is our godfather” Ivy’s voice soft, verging on tears.

Fran sits at the table, “Yes, Lars is your godfather.  But he doesn’t want to live in Colorado.  You two have made it clear that you don’t want to live in Denmark.”  Castor sits at the table.  “You are James’ children.  I know how he’d want you two to be raised.”  She shrugs some.  “I wasn’t going to let just anyone raise you two.”

“You still love Dad” Ivy looks at my ex-wife.  Fran just nods slowly.

“But why are the others here too?” Forest asks bluntly.

Smiling at him, “Your older siblings want to be part of your lives too” as Marcella and Cali join the table with their own mugs.  Fran smiles at the two young women.

Marcella leans on the table, “Tell us about your Mom.”

I pull Y/N into my lap on the ledge as the six people gathered around the table start talking.  Telling stories.  About Y/N.  About me. 

As the day fades, I see silver beams glowing out the window running across the landscape.  Y/N sees my confusion.  “Those are lifelines.  They will all live long lives.”

“But whose that short one that fades?”

“Mithril’s or Caladan's. Not sure.” Y/N smiles at me.  “The kids all have long lines.  Even Fran’s is a long one” Y/N snuggles up close to me.

The people that have had to become family finally turn in for the night.  Y/N helps me navigate off the ledge.  Hand in hand, we check in on our twins.  In our daughter’s room, Y/N gently brushes a stray hair from Ivy’s forehead.  She sighs and snuggles into her pillow.  In Forest’s room, Y/N tugs the blanket a little closer to his chin.  He snorfels in his sleep.  In my older children’s rooms, I check on them.  As we walk down the hallway, I stop in what had been my bedroom.  Fran is again sleeping in my bed.  With both cats.  “Thank you Fran” I whisper.  Fran sighs and rolls to my side of the bed grabbing my pillow.  Y/N and I walk into the hallway.  Turning to Y/N, I hold out my hand to her.

Smiling gently at me, “Are you ready?” she whispers.

Nodding, I pull her to me.  Kissing her.  Her arms wrap around me.  Leaning my forehead against hers, “Yes.”

She pulls my head to her, kissing me.

“I love you James” she whispers to me.

“I love you Y/N” I whisper back as we kiss again.

The hallway fades away.  Our feet leave solid surface.  Stars begin to fill in around us.  Our arms wrap tighter around each other.  I look into her eyes seeing the stars reflected there.  Her smile glorious.  It starts with a rumble.  One that I recognize.  Grass slowly fills in below our feet.  A stadium materializes.  Candlestick Park.  A song echoes in my ears.  From behind me I hear him …

“James!  About time!”  Cliff is running towards me.  Red hair flying, his bass slung over his shoulder.  “C’mon!  I have some new riffs to show you!”

Reflections

Finally fulfilling a request for a backstory. I hope this answers some questions from the "Snow Way to Escape" start...

Warnings: The ending NSFW, p in v sex, Anxiety mentioned.

Reflections

Here I lie.  In a bed in a private overwater hut in the tropical heat of the Maldives.  Naked.  He’s lying on my body, also naked.  His head between my breasts, the silvered hairs on his head tickling my chin.  One tattooed arm looped under my right arm.  The other draped over my side, that tattooed hand resting on my left bicep.  His stomach pressing into my groin.  Our legs a tangled puzzle.  The air filled with the scent of tropical flowers, salt from the sea, and the aftermath of our last round of lovemaking.  Sex.  Fucking. Probably round number six for the day.  He’s sound asleep.  I kiss the top of his head, with memories of how I got pinned here under this megarocksuperstargod flooding my brain.

Derek, a former co-worker, had wanted me to go to a charity car show event.  Derek was taking his girl Sasha.  I needed a date, soooo, he called in a favor.  Long story short, James ended up being my plus one.  Or I was his plus one?  We never did get that sorted.  He was reserved when we first met.  Not sure if I was fan or not.  But that changed when I about dove under the hood of the 1953 Buick Skylark that was on display at the car show.  I love a well put together automobile.  That the car is painted purple helped!

“You like it?” James asked me, with a grin growing on his mug.

“It’s beautifully done!” I smiled as I tried again to get closer to it, but respecting the rope line.

“You want a closer look?” James grinned as he easily stepped over the rope line.  I guess I had a dumbfounded look on my face.  “It’s ok.”  His grin going what I came to know as his psycho grin.  “It’s my car” as he held out his hand to me.  Derek nudged my shoulder.  I stepped over the rope line and James pointed out all the modifications that he actually did himself.  Opening the driver’s door “Have a seat” he smiled at me.  “Would you like to fire it up?”

“Sure!  But I can’t reach the pedals” I giggled, wiggling my feet a good foot from the pedals.

“Skooch over then.”  I slid over to the passenger side as James stepped into the car.  The car rumbled to life.  James told me more about the car as he revved the engine.  He finally turned the engine off.  “What do you think?”

I gave him a sidelong glance, “Meh.”  Then bust out laughing at the look on his face.  “It’s gorgeous!” I grinned broadly at him, my eyes flaring wide at him.

“I’ll have to show you my other cars!” he grinned from ear to ear.

The rest of that day, James and I wandered the car show checking out the other vehicles on display.  He admitted that he’s not done any cars in recent years and his welding is now used making tables for charity auctions, or repairing the heavy equipment he uses at both his Colorado and California homes. 

I don’t know when or where Derek and Sasha left us during the show.  I took some ribbing from him the next work day.  James took me out to dinner that night.  We had sushi.

Over the next two weeks, James would call or text me inviting me out to dinner about every other day.  There was something beneath the rockstargod mask that he wore in public that pulled me in.  He made me laugh.  Granted, most of the time it was his kooky really bad dad jokes.  There was an innocence in him.  It’s still there.  It’s hidden unless he’s alone with someone that he’s super comfortable with.

The band headed out for the European leg of the tour.  James would call or text me everyday.  When they returned to the states from Europe, James asked me to join him on the road.  I had some PTO accrued, so I took it.  Being on a tour is mind boggling.  The sheer number of people in the stadium stands every show night.  The sheer number of people that keep the production running.  The fact that there’s a routine that sets up is a help.  But it’s still mind dumbing.

As summer began to fade, James begin asking me about the possibility of staying with him when he returned to Colorado.  Hindsight being 20/20, I now know that he was terrified of having all that time off.  Alone.  His divorce long since finaled.  The recent girlfriend being shifted out of his life.  His kids having their own lives.  The other band members having family commitments that he didn’t want to intrude on.  I remember there was something in his eyes when he asked me.  The vulnerability peeped through.  I said yes.

That’s when the comparisons started.  “Well, the wife would fold the sheets this way.”  “The ex would keep the ketchup in the cupboard, not the fridge.”  My constant come back:  “They aren’t me and I’m not them.”  Those comparisons would pop up randomly.

But my moving into his Colorado house was almost our undoing.  It started out great.  We’d go on hikes.  He’d take me to the best steak houses for dinner.  Almost like he was showing me off.  I went with him when he took his big ass truck in to the dealership for some warranty work.  He was talking with the service dept guy and I was left in the show room.  That was a mistake!  That’s when I bought my Shelby.  Since I basically paid cash for the car, I was the one who drove us home that day. The truck had to stay for some parts to arrive.

“You gonna let me drive this?” James asked on that drive home.

“You gonna let me drive your big ass truck?” I gently snarked back.

“I don’t even let Lars drive my truck!” he laughed.

“Well, like me, Lars wouldn’t be able to reach the peddles!”  We both laughed.  I finally let him drive the Shelby at Christmas.

He’d get snappy when I had to spend hours doing my job.  The comparisons to the ex’s soon became a daily thing.  About everything.  The laundry.  The dishes. How I cooked.  The cleaning.  When the mail got pulled from the mailbox.  It was like he was angry that I wasn’t treating him as a megasuperstarrockgod like the way he’d been treated on tour by everyone.  Only Lars, James’ tech and security guy would knock him back down to reality. And they weren’t there.  I was.

The almost final straw happened when we had gone grocery shopping.  I had picked up something that he snorted at.  So, I put it on the belt and paid for it myself after he’d paid for the other items.  I used cash.  Don’t know why, but I did.  That night before going to bed was the first time that he counted his cash before going to bed.  That had hurt.  It was also the first time I ever played like I was asleep when his hands started groping my body.  The bigger dig was his re-counting his cash in the morning. I moved my stuff out of his bedroom into a spare bedroom in the basement about a week later.  He didn’t seem to notice.

A week after that is when a freak September snow storm had foiled my plans to leave.  It was like the universe said “No.”  I had walked out the front door of his house to see that a two foot drift of snow had accumulated in front of the garage door.  It was snowing so hard that I couldn’t see the end of the driveway.  My little Shelby wouldn’t have made it very far in that snowfall.  For a second I had considered taking his big ass truck.  He could have slammed the front door shut leaving me outside instead of standing there yelling at me.  As I had passed him on my way back into his house, I had slapped my goodbye note into his chest.  The next afternoon, we started repairing our relationship.  We were honest with each other.  With ourselves.  Some discussions ended in tears.  Some with laughter.  He won a few.  I had changed his mind on a few.  There are still topics that we have agreed to disagree on and just won’t bring up.

The longest conversation was about anxiety.  We both suffer from it.  His a little more broad than mine.  That discussion was actually very calm.  Neither of us raising our voices.  Both of us shedding tears at some point.  We stayed up all night talking.  Him relating times on the road where he’d been almost paralyzed with fear that he wasn’t good enough.  How the other three had basically pulled him cringing onstage.  The times he’d cried himself to sleep after shows wondering if he could carry on.  The temptations of the road hard to ignore.  And at times, largely given in to.  He did tell me that he is grateful that I feel no need to keep alcohol around.  I assured him that I’m not missing out on anything by not keeping liquor around.  His other road addictions – gambling, strip clubs, food – I have promised him I will help with those.  He whole heartedly and gratefully agreed.

And now.  Here I am.  Pinned in a bed on a tropical island by James’ body.  He snores softly into my boob.  I caress his silvered locks.  The sun makes my diamond encrusted eternity band glitter.  His promise ring to me.  That he’ll work to earn my forgiveness every day.

I have already forgiven him.  I forgave him completely months ago.  But, he doesn’t want to hear it.  So, I will keep it to myself.  I whisper into his hair “You’re doing great James” kissing the top of his head.

I feel his lips curve into a smile against my breast.  His head rocks back and those glorious blue eyes open “Thank you.”  He kisses me.  Then his big blue eyes look deeply into mine.  “What are you thinking?”

“How I got here” I murmur softly, smiling at him, my fingers gently playing with his hair.

He slowly slides to my right giving me a wonky grin, “Well, first it was the truck to the airport, then a great big plane, to a smaller plane…”

Laughing loudly, I gently smack his bicep.  He kisses me again, his eyes twinkling, chuckling softly.  This bad-dad-joke telling dork of a supermegarockstargod holding me.

I caress his cheeks, pulling his face to mine, kissing him.  He eagerly kisses me back.  His hands gently squeezing me.  His lips find my neck.  Nibbling, licking, sucking, leaving little love marks all over my skin.  I moan in his hold.  My fingers gently digging into his shoulders as my body arches against his.  My fingers find his silvered locks, snarling into them.  Holding his head to my neck.  He shifts his body back between my legs.  His teeth gently nibble the magic spot.  I groan loudly as my body sags in his hold.  His big hands gently find my breasts.  Then his tattooed fingers gently start working my nipples.  Squeezing.  Rolling.  Tugging.  Each action pulling another groan from my mouth.  Each action pulling my hips up into his body.  His lips loudly start working towards my nipples.  He moves from one nipple to other, leaving little licks and nibbles between my breasts.  I place a million little kisses to his hair on the top of his head.  My lips tasting like the salt in his locks.  From sweat after fucking.  Our swim in the ocean.  James slowly lifts his body to his knees, holding his weight on his elbows, his lips still working on my flesh.  I suck in a sharp breath as his teeth nibble my right nipple, my body squirming in his hold.  His tongue gently flicking my nipple trapped in his teeth pulling a loud moan from my lips.  Pulling up, he lets my nipple literally pop from his lips.  Then his lips are kissing mine as his knees budge up against my legs, spreading them, his hands pressing down on my hips keeping them pinned to the bed.  Almost painfully slowly, James works his way down my body leaving nibble marks all over my flesh.  His hands hold my legs open.  He actually slows as he approaches the juncture between my legs.  I whimper as I struggle happily in his hold.  Then gasp loudly as the pointy tip of his tongue dips into the top of my cleft.  His groan reverberates through my body as his mouth locks on to my pussy.  Another gasp is pulled from my throat that becomes a moan as my body arches up from the bed.  His hands hold my hips down as his tongue works its magic on me.  Slowly.  It’s too much and not enough at the same time.  My sight blurs and my mind stops actively functioning.  It only concentrates on what his tongue is doing to my sex flesh.  My fingers tangle into his hair, pulling.  I feel his chuckle just before I explode into his mouth.  I feel his suction on my pussy increase as I flood his face.  The pressure on my cunt continues as he overstimulates me.  I scream as another climax slams into me.  He slowly eases me down from that high.  Then chuckling softly wipes his mustache on my inner thigh making me giggle and squirm.  He licks away the mess.  He lifts his head looking up my body.  Those stunning blue eyes locking with mine as he starts to grin madly at me.  Rising fully to his knees, his eyes not leaving mine as he grabs my legs.  Then flips me over.  I squeak.  He quickly pulls me up his thighs, guiding his cock into me, pushing his rigid dick all the way into me.  Deep into me.  Stretching me.  My breaths come out in hitched gasps.  I feel his heavy balls gently swinging between my thighs.  I push my body back against his with my arms, my fingers clutching the sheets, my teeth finding the pillow as I whine loudly.  His fingers wrap around my hips digging in deeply holding my hips close to his pelvis.  I struggle in his hold.  “Tell me” he growls softly at me.  I whine.  His large hand smacks my ass hard.  “Tell me” the growl becomes lower.

“Faahck me James!  Fuck me hard!” I almost scream.

“Happily” he grunts as he starts rutting into me.  Hard.  Fast.  Deep.  I can only whine in his hold.  Happily whine.  His rhythm steadily harsh.  I struggle some in his grasp.  I wrap my feet around his legs and pull.  “ahhh.  Gonna be that way are you?”  I nod vigorously, knowing he can’t see the grin on my own face.  He keeps thrusting harshly into my cunt.  His big hand finds my butt again.  I bark in shock at the pain flaring in my ass cheek, my back arching deeply.  “Liked that did you?” he growls at me.  I again nod vigorously, panting hard.  He smacks my other cheek.  Another sharp bark is pulled from me.  He ruts harder into me, his hands digging deep into my hips pulling another loud gasp from me.  His grunts get more feral.  He hoists my hips up his thighs as I am sliding down his sweaty skin.  My own body coated in a sheen of sweat.  I reach back and paw at his knees, my fingers not finding purchase on his slick skin.  His fingers find my clit as I feel his cock thicken inside me.  Stretching me more.  Twitching deep inside me.  His strokes get sloppy.  His fingers on one hip tighten.  His other fingers find my clit.  We both slam over into orgasm together.  He roars.  I scream.  Loudly.  He thrusts a couple more times into me.  Deep.  Then he lets me slide down his thighs slowly to the bed.  His cock sliding out of me.  His body lowers over mine.  His breath hot on my back, cooling the sweat.  His fingers gently tangle into my hair, pushing it up over the pillow.  His head comes down on my left shoulder.  I look over my left shoulder into his blue eyes.  “hi” he mumbles.

“hey” I groan sleepily.  My arms and legs feeling like they are filled with lead.

His fingers gently making lazy circles on my back make me shiver and giggle.  His lips gently kiss my shoulder.  My neck.  He rolls me over.  His large hand palms up my body from my hip over my stomach stopping momentarily to squeeze my boob before gently wrapping around my neck, sliding around to the back of my head.  His lips find mine.  Gently.  Tenderly.  Sucking on my lower lip softly.  My body arches under his hand which he flares open wide into my sternum pressing down gently on me.  I whimper and gently kiss his lips, my hands wrapping around his head.  His hands wrap around my back as he keeps kissing me.  I feel his hips slide from the bad.  He pulls me with him.  I wrap my legs around his waist.  I’m still kissing him as James carries me out of our private overwater hut.  Into the Arabian Sea.

I swim to the surface, sputtering out water.  “Ya could warn a girl!” I laugh.

James is also laughing, “I’m taking you for a swim!”

I had to correct this image .... that's better!

James and his spirit animal??

Weird Observation

I'm supposed to be working (Yay for the hybrid work!) and listening to this podcast again

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5O6QPTawR14&t=145s

But I am now distracted because I have noticed that I can watch his hands in the reflection of his sunglasses hanging from his t-shirt.....

He's a "hand talker".

Don't freak out, just be cool ...

Had this thought the other day and had to capture it! Just a short one! Well, for me!

Warnings: NSFW, Verbal Abuse mentioned, full on sex.

It’s been 30 years since I’ve actually seen Mark!  We went to high school together.  We’ve stayed in touch through the years.  After he left the armed services, he went into private security.  He’s now the personal security guard for – of all the people on the face of this planet – James Hetfield.  THE James Hetfield.  Metallica’s James Hetfield.  Mark has been around the world with them now several times.  Mark has shared photos of his journeys with me.  On the rare occasion, I get a photo of Mark and James romping about in a foreign city.  Mark made me promise that I’d never tell a soul who he works for.  I haven’t. 

Well, does my diary count?

The new tour is coming to the city I now call home.  Mark wants me to come on down to the show!  Of course I said yes!  Mark told me that he’s planning on taking the day off so that we can hang.  I get to the stadium and find the security check-in.  I have to wait for Mark to come collect me.

“Y/N!” Mark yells from behind me.

“Mark!” I yell as I run to meet him.  He swoops me up and spins me a couple of times.  “Whoah” I mumble as he puts me back on my feet, grabbing his arms.

“Head rush?” Mark grins at me.

“Ya think!” as I smack his chest.

Mark takes me back to the security check-in table and I get my pass.  An All Access pass.  I give Mark a side hug “Thanks.”

“Hey, you have helped me out with all those late-night calls when I was deployed.  This is the least I can do for you” Mark returns the hug.  “Now, this way.”

He walks me out onto what should have been an NFL field.  But instead, there sits Metallica’s massive stage.  He tells me all about it as he walks me around it, by it.  Up on it.  Being early on a summer afternoon, the black stage is very warm.  I wipe my brow. 

“Yeah, it gets a little warm in the day up here.  Let’s go get something to drink” Mark helps me off the stage.  “Canteen is this way.”

He leads me into the bowels of the stadium.  I find it fascinating as I love football as much as I love Metallica.  The place is huge.  All the hallways are super long and it takes forever to walk them.  When we get to the catering area, someone approaches Mark with a question.  Marks points me toward a counter, “Head on over there.”  Then he yells “Hey chef!  Hook up Y/N with whatever she wants please!”

The big guy wearing a chefs’ smock grins “You got it Mark!”  He smiles kindly at me, “What can I get you?”

“Just something to drink please” I smile back.

Chef points to a list on the counter, “Which would you like?” he grins.

“Oh!  A Severed Lime please!”

“Be right back!” he spins toward the big refrigerator.

A hand claws down on my shoulder “Just what do you think you’re doing here, Y/N?”

I turn to see Jolene.  Someone that went to high school with Mark and me.  She has always hated me.  “Getting something to drink” I respond flatly.

Jolene grabs my shoulder harder “Watch the attitude Y/N.”  She points to the security emblem stitched on her shirt “I can kick you out!” she snarks.

Chef has returned with the can and is trying to hand it to me.  But Jolene smacks it away.  It lands with a clang on the floor and rolls across the area under a table.  “You don’t have the right creds to be in here” a vicious gleam flares in Jolene’s eyes.

Several things simultaneously happen next:  I hear Mark’s Keep Cool signal.  I stomp my right heel twice in rapid succession on the floor in response.  Jolene is trying to pull me from the counter when a very large, very tattooed hand drops over my other shoulder to rest on my sternum, gently tugging me back into a very tall frame just as James Hetfield leans over and – Keep Cool Y/N! – kisses me.  Not a big kiss.  But not just a peck either.  “Hey babe” he rumbles at me a little loudly.  “Everything ok?” he grins at me, his stunning blue eyes sparkling.

“Just getting a Severed Lime” I smile at him, proud of myself that I didn’t squeak.  My heart is beating a zillion miles an hour.

“She’s leaving!” Jolene tries again to tug me.  “I’m kicking her out.”

“Uhm, no you’re not.”  James’s voice is firm.

“Fine!” Jolene snaps.  “You both are getting kicked out” she snarls at me.

“Nope.  You’re getting kicked off my tour” James stands up.

Jolene grabs my ponytail, yanking it hard.  Almost pulling me to the floor.  “OW!” I yelp.

James keeps me from being yanked from his arm and pulls me tighter to his chest, his fingers griping my sternum tightly, his other hand cupping the back of my head.  “Mark!”

“On it, James.”  Mark grabs Jolene’s wrist, “You’re supposed to be at Merch” he barks at Jolene.

“I’m bored there.  I belong back here” Jolene snaps.

“Jolene, you belong wherever you are assigned.  I gave you a chance because we went to school together.  But this is the third strike.  Now c’mon.”  Mark tries to spin Jolene to leave the catering area.

Jabbing a finger at James “Just who the fuck is he?” Jolene snaps angrily at Mark.

“He’s the guy who signs my paycheck.”  Mark spins Jolene from us successfully “This way.”  As they walk away, “You Chillin’ James?” Mark asks.

“Yeah.”  James’ fingers ease on me “We’ll be in the Chill.”  Marks responds with a thumbs up.  Looking at chef “Sorry about the commotion” James apologizes.

“No harm done, James.  Y/N, here’s your drink” chef smiles at us both.

“Thanks” I reply softly, taking the new can with one hand and rubbing my very sore head with the other.

James rotates us.  Keeping an arm draped over my shoulder, he walks us out of the catering area.  My arm automatically wraps around his waist.  I hear the commotion in the hallway as Jolene is loudly begging Mark to let her stay.  James holds open the door to a room that has a sign taped on it James’ Chill.

Inside, there are a couple of comfy chairs, a small sofa and a couple of tables.  There are deep purple drapes on poles covering the cinderblock walls and the two torchiere lamps give the room a warm feeling as I notice that the big fluorescent lights overhead are turned off.  One table has some munchies on it.  The other holds a couple of guitars and a small amp.  There’s a very large opened road case with clothes hanging on one side, the other filled with drawers.

“Please, sit” James smiles at me.  I sink into the sofa, still rubbing the back of my head.  James looms over me, “May I check?”

Tenderly pulling the elastic out of my hair, “Yes, please.”

His fingers very tenderly search through my long hair to my scalp.  “I’m not seeing any blood” he gently finger tidies my hair as he sits on the sofa next to me.

I sigh, “Well that’s good.”  I rub my scalp again, “It’s probably going to be tender for a while.”

His fingers are still playing with my hair.  “Probably.”  I look sideways at James.  His eyes are roaming over my hair.  I look at my hands holding the unopened Severed Lime can.  “May I ask you a question?”

I look at him “Sure.”

“When I kissed you – which was Mark’s idea” I snort a giggle “you didn’t seem surprised.”

“Mark warned me.”

“How” James’ eyebrows furrow together.

“He cooed like a mourning dove.”

“So that’s what he was doing” James grins.

Chuckling, “That’s been his Keep cool just roll with happens next signal since High School.”

“Ahh” James nods in understanding.  “But you didn’t respond.”

“Yeah I did” as I thump the floor with my heel twice, grinning.

“Ahhh!  Yes, you did.  Didn’t know what you were doing” James huffs a soft laugh.  “Who was the security girl?”

“Jolene.  We all were in school together.”  I again look at the can in my hands.  “She’s always hated me.  Don’t know why.”

“Oh.”  He twists slightly on the sofa to face me.  “Mark has told me that you were there for him during deployments.”

“Yeah.  He’s always been like a big brother to me” I smile at James.

He fidgets some “So, would he mind if I kissed you again.”  I just blush furiously.  “Would you mind” his fingers gently lift my chin “if I kissed you again?”

“Not at all” I whisper.

Still gently holding my chin, he leans in.  I meet him halfway.  We both breath in deeply keeping our lips pressed together.  His fingers on my chin slide up the side of my face to cup my head.  My fingers gently wrap around his wrist.  A feeling of electricity passing between us.  We are eagerly, tenderly, kissing the other.  I am trembling slightly.  Finally parting the kiss, he rests his forehead on mine. 

His blue eyes finding mine.  “You felt that too?” he whispers. 

“uh huh” I manage, still trembling gently.

He too is quivering “Glad it’s not just me.”

I huff out a small laugh.   And kiss him again.  His fingers still cradle my head as he returns the kiss.

A knock on the door and we jump apart like a pair of teenagers caught necking by our parents.  Grabbing my leg just above my knee, squeezing, smiling at me, “Sandman!” James says loudly standing.

For some reason, I put the cold Severed Lime can on the back of my head as Mark walks in.   “Hey” he nods at James.  “Y/N?  You ok?” as Mark sees the can on my head.

“Jolene yanked my ponytail really hard” I grin gently.

“You OK?” Mark is immediately in Big Brother mode.

“I’m fine.”

“She’s not bleeding” James offers.  Seeing the look from Mark, “She let me check” James reassures the big ex-Marine.

Nodding “Well, that’s good.”  Turning back to James, “Lars needs you in the dining room.  Something about an interview next week.”

Grimacing slightly “I hate those” James shoves both hands into his front pants pockets.

“Yeah, I know.  But they want all four of you” Mark rests his hands on his hips.

“Is there a bathroom around?” I ask quietly.

“Oh yeah” James smiles gently at me.  “That door right there.”

Setting the can down on the table with the munchies, I make a quick exit.  After using the toilet, I am washing my hands when I hear the two men:

“Do you think she’d like to have dinner with me after the show?” James asks.

“I know she’d like that.  But James, please don’t hurt her.”

“You know I won’t intenti…”

“I know you won’t mean to.  But her last relationship, the guy was a dick.  I heard some of what he’d say to her.  He was verbally abusive to her” Mark’s voice very quiet.

“Just verbally?” concern lances James’ voice.

“She claims that he never hit her.  She has no reason to lie to me.”

“Other than you’d go murder the fucker!” James chuckles.

I can almost see Mark’s head bobbing around “Yeah I would have!”

In the following silence, I flush the toilet again, run the water in the sink.  Grabbing another paper towel, I walk out the door.

“Feel better, Thumper?” Mark grins.

I smack Mark’s arm “Only you!”

James just looks at Mark.  “That’s what I called Y/N in school for her little bunny kicks.”  Mark does his bird call again.  I automatically thump the floor twice.  The three of us burst out in laughter.

James rests his hand on my shoulder, “Mark is going to stay with you during the show?”

I look up at Mark.  “Like I’d let her go out on the floor alone!  She’s 5’ 2”!  She’d get slaughtered!” Mark laughs.

“Take her up on the F&F” James looks with a grin at Mark.  Then gives me a wonky grin “You’ll be able to see from there.”

I smile at him “Thanks.”

James grabs a phone from the table with the guitars “Then I’ll see you two out there!”  He turns to Mark “Darren tonight?”  Mark nods.  “Lars is in the dining room?”  Mark nods.  “The others there too?”

“Heading that way” Mark nods as he opens the hallway door.  “Got everything?” as we all walk out into the hallway.

James pats down his pockets “I think so.”  The two men fist bump.  James gives me a smile and starts down the hallway.  Then he spins makes a quick trot back to me, kisses me again, and walks back down the hallway.

I stand there a second in shock.  I look up at Mark.  “Damn Y/N!” Mark grins at me.  “You just landed the biggest fish in the sea!”

My hands kinda flap as Mark leads the other way down the hall “I didn’t mean to!”

Mark pats my back “Be glad you did!”  Mark looks over his shoulder towards James’ retreating figure, then back to me.  “You two will be good together!” he grins at me.

Mark leads me back out to the field.  The floor has already begun to fill in with fans.  The seats are a little sparse, but it is still early.  Mark tucks me in behind his frame.  I rest my hand on his back – just like we used to do at the big concerts when we were in high school.  I ask him to take me into the Pit because I want to stand on the fifty-yard line in the center of the field.  He does and takes a picture of me there.  Looking like a dork.  Then we walk around the field.  I’m not really impressed with the first opener.  So, Mark takes me to the lounge and we grab something to eat.  We watch the stage get changed to the second opener.  The seats are beginning to fill.  I like the one song for this second group.  Otherwise, meh.  When that act ends, Mark walks me back down to the field from the lounge.  And to a tower.  He flashes his pass and leads me up onto a platform.

“James thinks you’ll be able to see better from here!” Mark laughs.  “Welcome to F&F!”  I give him a look.  “Friends and Family!”

“I don’t know how to act!” I grin.  Mark looks confused.  “I’m used to seeing just shoulder blades and elbows at a concert!”

We both burst out laughing.

Then it starts.  The Metallica walkout songs.  I bounce a couple of times with joy.  And perhaps I’m a little giddy.  They take the stage in full roar with Creeping Death.  The next two and half hours I get an unimpeded view of them.  Of him.  He keeps looking over towards me and each time his grin gets bigger.

When the field lights come on and Metallica are doing the usual end of show antics, Marks leans into my ear, “We need to get you down to the car.”  He grabs my hand as we exit the platform.  I walk very close behind Mark, with my other hand planted in the middle of his back.  When we get past the security barricade, I am able to walk beside Mark.  He takes me back to the Chill room.  There he loads up the backpack that is tucked into the big road case with some of the munchies and several cans of Severed Lime.  I use that bathroom again.  There’s mouthwash on the sink.  I use it since I did have garlic fries.  As Mark walks out of the room carrying two backpacks and down the hall – with me trotting behind to keep up with his long legs – he goes into the catering area.  There on a table are five to go bags, and several Hydroflasks.  Mark looks a little flustered as his hands are full.  I look at him and he hands me one backpack.  Mark stuffs a couple very large Hydroflasks into the backpack and zips it closed.  “Keep that upright please.  Those two Hydros like to leak.”  Then he grabs three of the to go bags, his backpack and nods at me.  “Let’s roll!”

He leads me down another hallway, then through a set of double doors into the stadiums loading bay.  There sits a very large black sedan, engine idling.  Marks takes me to the driver’s side back door.  “Ok, you get this side.”  I put the backpack on the floor between my feet.  Marks stacks two of the to go bags on the transmission hump on the floor.  Looking at the passenger side front seat.  “Shit.”  Mark closes my door, runs around the car, opens the front passenger door and hits the button to move that passenger seat forward.  Mark puts both hands on the seat and leans over it looking at me.  “He’s a good guy, Y/N.  He won’t talk much on the drive to the hotel.  He might want the camo hydro on the drive.  That one is on the side so that you won’t have to unzip the bag much.”  Mark smiles at me.  I thump the floor twice with my heel.  Laughing “That’s my Thumper!” Mark exits the car, closing the front door.  I make some minor adjustments to the to go bags and the backpack when the passenger back door is opened.  And James – wearing a black robe with flames on the sleeves – slides into the back seat.  He’s sweaty, but smiling.  The big sedan heads out of the loading bay.  I realize that Mark moving the passenger seat up meant that James and his long legs would easily fit into the back seat.  James just grins at me. 

“Drink?” I whisper.  He huffs out a soft snort and nods.  I find the camo hyrdo and hand it over.  James takes a couple of solid pulls from it and leans back in the seat.  I just watch him.  The sedan slows at a red stop light.  James sits up and hands back the hydro.  I put it back into the bag and zip it closed.  Just as the big sedan starts to roll again, I sit back up.  James holds out his left hand to me.  I gently rest my right fingers in his palm.  He lifts my hand to his lips and kisses the back of my hand.  I shudder out a soft sigh.  Smiling softly, James pulls my hand to his chest, holding it there.  I smile back at him.  The big car pulls into the portico of one of the fanciest hotels in town.  Two valet are quickly there.  But they open both doors on the passenger side.  The driver hops out to open my door.  I grab the backpack and both to go bags and quickly follow James.  He’s waiting just inside the hotel lobby doors giving me a wonky smile.  He wraps an arm around my shoulders and we get into an elevator.  The doors open on the top floor. 

One of the security guys there greets us.  “Hey James!  Show sounded great!” he comments as he leads us down the hallway.  He taps a key card on the door.  James gently pushes me through the door and quickly follows me.  As the door clicks closed, I move into the room and set the backpack down in a chair at the table and the to go bags on the table, kicking my shoes off.  James comes up behind me and rests his hands on my hips as I open the backpack and pull out at least the hydros – just in case the bag falls over.  His nose buries into my hair.  I shiver slightly.  My hands ghost over his.

“I’m sorry I don’t talk right after a show.”

“You don’t need to apologize” I grin turning towards him.  “You just sang for a good two hours!  I understand.”

His stunning blue eyes lock with mine.  His hands slowly wrap around to my back – one on my lower back, the other travelling up to my neck, his fingers gently cupping it.  I wrap my arms around him and pull myself into his body as our lips meet again.  Gently.  Tenderly.  He rests his forehead on mine.  “How’s your head?” he grins.

I grin “Doing great.”  I let him pull me into a hug.  My nose buries into his chest.  I inhale deeply.  Faintly, there’s cigar.  Sweat.  The fabric softener from his robe.  I feel his breath in my hair as he leans into my head.  From his robe, “I heard you and Mark talking.”  His fingers clench gently on me.  “I have just one ask.”

He urges my head back, kissing down my forehead, my nose to my lips.  His stunning blue eyes lock with mine.  “Ask” he says gently.

I whisper “Please don’t call me ‘babe’.”

Lifting his head some “Is that what he called you?” concern knotting his eyebrows together.  I can only nod.  He kisses me tenderly, “Then I will find something else to call you” he smiles at me.

“Thank you” as I pull him into another kiss, y body relaxing in his hold.

He tightens his arms around me.  Our lips still eagerly kissing.  He gently reaches under my shirt.  When his fingers touch my skin I shiver and a stuttered sigh is pulled from me.  Our lips are still kissing as his fingers reach my bra.  With a deft flick, he unhooks it.  My body arches into his.  His thumbs hook my shirt and bra lifting them both.  Gently parting the kiss, I raise my arms as he tugs the fabrics from my body.  His left hand quickly splays open on my now fully exposed back, holding me.  I watch his face.  His eyes follow as his right hand softly caresses my left cheek, slowly slides down my neck to my clavicle, then agonizlingly slowly to my breast.  He tenderly cups it.  I hitch a breath.  His right hand eases its hold but my lefthand snaps up to hold his hand on my breast.

As his left arm gently hitches me closer “Are you sure?” he purrs.  His blue eyes searching mine.  I nod slowly chewing on the corner of my lower lip.  He kisses me.  His fingertips on my breast find my nipple tenderly playing with it.  I whimper into the kiss.  Slowly he moves us towards the bed.  As the back of my legs hit the mattress, I start to sink.  With a speed I didn’t know that James possesses, his fingers hook the waistband of my shorts and thong, removing them from my body with one swift motion.  I am left sitting on the bed totally naked.  But I don’t feel naked under his gaze. 

His hands cup my face, kissing me.  I lean back, my arms pulling me up the bed, his hands on either side of my body hold his weight as he follows me, his knees naturally going between my legs.  Spreading them.  I can smell myself.  His hand grabs my thigh stopping me.  He kneels up.  I am quivering as he eases the robe from his lean, firm body.  His erection proudly standing at attention.  Again, he leans over me, kissing me.  His lips blazing a trail from my face, down my neck, to my breasts, my stomach.  He lowers himself between my legs grinning like the Cheshire cat at me.  I answer the question in his eyes with a short nod.  I know that I am a sopping wet mess.  His grin goes wicked as he sticks out his tongue.  With the very pointy tip, he licks into the very top of my cleft.  His grin is even more wicked.  I whimper.  His tongue delves deeper into my wetness.  My back sinks to the bed as he groans happily into my pussy.  His arms snake under my thighs, wrapping over my hips.  Holding me.  His tongue is non-stop gently swirling around my bud, searching through my folds, dipping teasingly into my opening.  I squirm in his hold, whining.  His fingers dig deeper into my hips.  I look down my body to see the silvered hair on the top of his head between my legs – his feet up in the air wiggling.  He tenderly sucks on my clit drawing a loud moan from me.  My hips try to buck up into his mouth, but his hands prevent them.  An “uh huh” from him reverberates through my cunt as I feel his lips smile.  My fingers find his hands on my hips and grab his wrists.  He begins licking me with broad tongue laps.  Again I squirm in his hold.  He only grips me tighter keeping his tongue working on me.  My head rocks side to side as I whine loudly, the knot in me tightening quickly.  I start panting hard as he finds the spot.  His tongue concentrates on that spot “pahhleez” I whine loudly.  He chuckles and uses a slightly harder pressure on that spot.  I hitch a deep breath “Th  deheere” I pant out as my eyes fly open wide.  Another lap from his velvet warm tongue and I explode.  I grab a pillow and scream into it.  He overstimulates me making my body convulse.  My eyes close when he finally – with a gentle parting kiss – extracts his mouth from between my legs.

I feel him move on the bed.  His arm runs under my right thigh to grab my left leg as his other hand grabs my right arm.  In a swift action he flips me over.  I yelp.  His lips press between my shoulder blades as his hand slowly runs up between my legs, his fingers wiggle against my clit.  My hips lift as I whine loudly.  He huffs out a soft laugh against my back.  In a blink, he’s kneeling between my legs.  His hands grab my hips hoisting them up his thighs.  “I don’t want to rush ….”

“Gawdz pahleez faahkkkk me!” I beg.

His fingers grip me tightly “Gladly!”  I feel his hand between our bodies.  Then his cockhead is gently pressing against my entrance.  My back arches allowing him easier access to me.  He grunts softly as he slowly pushes into me.  Spreading me.  Drawing a long low loud moan from me as his girth presses into me.  Bottoming out in me, James holds my hips tight to his body.  His hands hitch me up gently thudding a little deeper into me.  I wallow in his hold.  I hear him chuckle as I squirm.  “Ready?”  I nod slowly.  His hand connects sharply with my ass “I want to hear you.”

“Yaeezzz!  Paahhhleeezz!”  My begging only making me wetter.

He smacks my other ass cheek “Please what?” his voice a deep growl.

“Fuck me!” I yell.

“Be happy to!” I hear him grin before he starts doing what I just begged of him.  His hips begin thrusting his rigid cock in and out of me at a fast pace.  I feel the rigid veins of his shaft sliding deep into me.  His fingers hold me tightly, digging into my hips.  I know will be bruised.  I wrap my feet around his legs, pulling.  His motions become a little harder.  I groan happily.  My hands push on the headboard.  Into his hips.  My butt cheeks shake in his hold.  He ruts into me grunting.  Thrusting deep into me.  He hitches me up his thighs as we both are sweating.  The knot in me tightens up again.

“Harder!” I plead.

He snarls as his hips begin slapping into me.  Hard.  Deep.  Fast.  I whine loudly.  My feet tug him hard.  I feel him get impossibly thicker inside me.  Twitching.  His right hand reaches around me and finds my clit.  With a few flicks, I am tossed over the edge of my orgasm again as he explodes deep inside me with a roar.  I bury my face into the mattress as I scream in release. 

Slowly, he eases me down his thighs to the bed, his cock gently sliding from within me.  His body gently sinking over mine.  His lips gently pressing kisses to the back of my neck.  We shift to our sides so that I am wrapped up in his arms, my back pressed up tight against his chest, one of his arms now my pillow.  His lips still leaving a million tiny little kisses on the side of my neck and over my shoulder. 

I reach back and pat his hip, “I should go and let you sleep” I murmur groggily.

His arms pull me tighter into him “No” he purrs.  “You fit perfectly right here.”  I nod slowly.  “There is no need for you to leave.”  His lips kiss my neck just below my ear.  “Ever” he whispers.  “My little bunny.”

Somebody's happy!

Those eyes could make me a mewling mess anytime!!!

Life gets in the way ...

..... Of having fun.

I am going to have to step away from the writing for a bit. Life has thrown some massive curve balls at me and nailed me. I am ok. But I am finding it hard to concentrate on the writings. They have been fun and I hope y'all liked them! I will post photos from time to time.

Until the potholes in my life's road get filled, I wish all of you nothing but good!

~H4H

I would kill to have this man be looking at me......

Sneaking a feel there, James?

What are you hiding there James, hmmmm????

Ohhhh myyyyy!!!!!

I am reduced to a sticky mess.....

Happy 1995🍻🍻

Tracing a happy trail there Lars? Can I be next??!!??

Requested by a lot of people.

Rockies Christmas - Day 15

Warnings:  Fluff, Send offs, poignant moment

Guide: CBF = Cali’s Boyfriend / CGF = Castor’s Girlfriend / MBF = Marcella’s Boyfriend {I didn’t want to give them names}

There’s a loud buzzing in the room.  I feel James roll to his back.  The buzzing stops.  It’s dark outside.  He pats my lower back, “I want to see the kids off” he mumbles.

I swim to the side of the bed, “I would like to do that too.”

We get ourselves pulled together and head into the kitchen.  “Do we do coffee now or later?” James asks. 

“I’m awake enough to need it.”

He gives me a wonky grin, “Coffee it is!”

I sit at the bar while he starts the maker.  I can hear the kids getting their things together.  CBF is the first to round the corner with his bag.  He puts it by the side door with a very mumbled “morning” in passing.

Cali isn’t far behind, “He doesn’t do mornings well” she apologizes with a smile.  CBF takes her bag and puts it by his.

“Especially early mornings.  I completely understand” James grins at the young man.

Castor, MBF, CGF and Marcella soon make the turn, all with bags in tow.  “Morning” is mumbled by all.

James looks with concern at his boy, “You good Castor?”

“I just need some coffee.”  I shove my cup in his direction.  “Thanks!” as he almost chugs the whole cup.  He gives me a look.

“What?”

“Where did you learn to drink coffee?”

“I spent a summer in Seattle.”

“Ah” Castor looks into the mug.  “That explains it.”  James pours more coffee into the mug.  Castor takes another drink.  “That’s better.”  Then chugs the contents.

James goes to the living room and powers on the TV.  The very early morning news is on.  We have to wait for about 10 minutes for the weather and traffic report.  The news is good.  The trees on the freeway have been cleared overnight and the plows are running non-stop.  But the reports say that some side streets are still blocked.

“You better load up and get on the road.  I’d rather you sit at the airport than miss the flights because of the trees” as James turns off the TV

The kids all bundle up.  James and I pull on our boots and help the kids load up.

James pulls Cali to the side, “You keep me informed on this” he puts his hand on her belly.

“I promise Dad.”

“We will be on tour in the spring in Europe.  But should be stateside before this one makes its appearance.”  He kisses her forehead, “We will get to you as soon as possible.  Promise.”  He gives her a hug.

Cali steps to me, “Thanks again for the baking soda tip.  It really helped.”  She gives me a hug.

“You’re welcome!” hugging her back, “I will get your Dad to you as soon as possible when it’s time.”  I smile at her, “Promise.”

“Thanks!” Cali says stepping back, hand on her belly.  Her eyes light up, “Dad” she grabs his hand and puts it on the baby.

I watch as his eyes close holding both daughter and grandchild.  That moment burns into my mind.  Then he stands up, “You stay in touch.”  He helps her into the van.  “Be safe.  All of you.”

“We will”   “Ok”   “You got it Dad”  all came simultaneously. 

“Text me that you got there ok.”

“And when we get home” Marcella smiles.  “Love you, Dad.”

“Love you too, baby girl!”  Pointing, “I can’t wait to hear the new tunes, son!”

“As soon as I get home, Dad!”

James steps back as Castor backs the vehicle up.  There are waves and shouts of “bye!” and “Love you” from the van.  James reaches back and I take his hand.  Together we turn and walk back into the house.  The now very quiet house.  I can see he’s already missing the chaos of having that many people in the house.  I just wrap my arms around him, holding him.  He wraps his arms around me, sighs and rests his cheek on top of my head.  I don’t know how long we stood there just being together.  He gently pats my lower back, “I should check the back of the garage again, just to make sure that no other branches came down.”

I loosen my grip, “Ok.  Be careful.  It’s slick out there.”  He smiles at me.  “I’m going to start the laundry.”

“That’s going to be an all-day event” he grins, grabbing his phone before heading back outside, this time with a jacket on.

I go to the rooms that the kids had used to pull the bedding off, only to find that they’ve already stripped the beds.  Going into the laundry room, they have piled all their linens and bath towels on top of the Media Room blankets.  Smiling, I sort things out, then load and start the washer.  Returning to the kitchen, I pull out the last loaf of date-nut-bread and slice it.  I am spreading cream cheese on a slice when I hear James come in through the garage.  He joins me in the kitchen, “Want a slice?”

“Yes, please.”

Gathering up coffee mugs, the bread and some napkins we move to the living room.  James turns on the TV just as his phone buzzes.  “They made it to the airport and are through security.”  I can feel him relax some.  “Castor says that the road was slick in spots, a few smaller branches down, but otherwise clear.”

I smile at him, “I’m glad they got there safely.”

We watch the news for a bit. 

Then James turns to me with a massive grin on his face, “I’m going to be a Grandpa.”

- -- - - - - -

Sorry this one is so long! I couldn't do one holiday without the other! I do hope everyone had great holidays!!!

~H4H

Rockies Christmas - Day 15

Warnings:  Snow Day, Wind event,

Guide: CBF = Cali’s Boyfriend / CGF = Castor’s Girlfriend / MBF = Marcella’s Boyfriend {I didn’t want to give them names}

I slowly rotate in bed.  My legs a little achy from being pinned by James earlier this morning makes me smile.  I can hear that the winds have picked up outside.  Reaching out I find his side of the bed empty.  The smell of onions being grilled floats into the room.  Sitting up, stretching, I make my way into the bathroom.  When done and cleaned up, I dig out a pair of stretchy pants.  I’m down to the bottom of the stack which means that I need to do laundry.  Pulling open the drawer that should have my tank tops in it, it’s empty.  Yup.  Need to get the laundry done.  I find a bra and taking one of James’ t-shirts – Bastardane – I finish getting dressed and head into the kitchen finding James at the stove with a huge skillet grilling onions.  I hug him from behind, “Morning.”

Twisting slightly and wrapping an arm around me, he kisses me, “Morning.”  He smiles at me and wiggles his eyebrows, “Feeling ok?”

I stand on tiptoe and kiss him, “I feel beautiful.”

Gently patting my ass, “Good.”  Then, “Hey, that’s my shirt.”

“Well, if the kiddos weren’t here, I’d be starkers” as I flash him my lacy bra.  I get a grin in response.

“Need to do laundry?” he smiles turning back to the skillet.

“Should probably change our sheets too” I purr at him as I head towards the coffee maker running my hand over his ass.

He nods in agreement, “Yeah, that’s probably a really good idea!”

Almost as if by magic, all the kids turn into the kitchen together.  “Damn, Dad.  You use a lot of onions” Cali declares sitting at the bar.

Looking at his oldest, “You have a problem with that?” he grins.

CGF sits next to Cali, “I don’t, except that they give Castor gas.”

“Tell us something we don’t already know” Marcella snarks at her brother.  He gives her a snarky smile back.

Marcella pulls out her phone as it buzzes.  James looks at her.  “Reminder that we need to check in to our flights.”

All the kids pull out their phones and check into their flights.  “Hey Marcella” Castor says putting his phone away, “Thanks for the reminder.”

“You’re welcome” she grins at her brother.

“Hey Kira!  Nice choice in shirts!” Castor grins.  I give him a pair of horns.

James finishes the onions and starts the eggs.  I see that he’s already put out the stuff to make burritos.  “Kira, will you please start the microwave?  I already have the roast beef in there.”

He’s even set the time needed.  I push the start button smiling at him.  Then grab our mugs and make our coffees.  A few minutes later, we are all sitting at the kitchen table enjoying our breakfast burritos. 

I watch as Cali and CBF keep giggling with their hands interlaced over Cali’s belly.

James smiles at them, “Moving more in the morning or evening?”

“A little in the morning.  More in the evening.” Cali smiles.

Nodding, “I’ll bet on an evening birth” James grins.

“Morning” Marcella speaks up.

“Midday” is CGF addition.

“Someone write these down!” Marcella giggles.

CGF finds a notepad and pen.  We all make our guesses.

“What does the winner get?” Castor asks.

“To change the first diaper” CBF suggests and there’s laughter all around.

A strong gust of wind hits the house.  “Picking up out there” James says looking out the window.  The wind picks up the loose snow and is blowing it all around.  The clouds in the sky are being torn apart and then put back together.  I shiver some as another gust lifts more snow from the patio.  “How many episodes to we have to finish Stranger Things?” James looks at Castor.

Thinking, “There’s all of season 4 – which is 9 shows, and I think we have 3 left on season 3.”

“Shall we do the long haul and finish this?” James looks around the table.  Another gust of wind hits the house.

“Sure.”  “Not going out in this.”  “Might as well.”  “Yes!” are the mixed responses.

Everyone helps get the kitchen and dishes sorted.  Carrying my coffee mug as I’d not yet finished it, we all make our way to the media room.  Marcella and Castor pull out some extra blankets as the room is little chilled today.  Sinking into our positions on the sofa structure, Castor fires up the system and starts the next episode. 

Between every other episode, there’s a bathroom break.  Someone gets something from the kitchen.  Someone takes all the dirty dishes from the previous kitchen run to the dishwasher.  As the second episode of the fourth season starts, there’s a very harsh gust of wind.  I wince and lean into James.  The power flickers.  “Hold on Castor.  Let’s see if the genny is going to kick in.”  The lights flicker again - then go out.  About 45 seconds later, they all come back on.  There’s a dull roar from outside.  “Ok.  The genny is on.  Go ahead.”

Restarting the TV, Castor starts the next episode.  James pulls me into a tight hug, “I got you” he whispers to me.  Smiling, breathing a little fast, I lean into his chest. 

Pausing before the fifth episode, it’s the usual bathroom and kitchen runs.  I lean back and look up at James, “How long will the generator run?”

Frowning slightly, “36 to 48 hours.  Depending on how many devices we have running.  The furnace is gas, but the fan is electric.  The biggest draw will be the TV, chest freezer and the fridge.”  He kisses my forehead, “I doubt the power will be out that long.”

Before the sixth episode, it’s a unanimous decision to have more Jambalaya.  CBF pulls the leftovers out and in short order, we are all seated at the kitchen table.  A couple more heavy gusts hit the house.  One of them followed by a loud thud.  I jump.  James kisses my hair, “I should check on that.” 

MBF stands, “I’ll go with you.” 

The rest of us clean up the lunch dishes.

James comes back in the house after being outside for a time, “Hey Castor, where are the keys for the rental van?”

“Uhm, by the front door.”  Castor follows his Dad and I follow Castor.  “Everything ok Dad?”

Nodding, “The van is fine, but that old oak dropped a branch.  I’m going to move the van just to be on the safe side.”

“Is that side drive slick?” Castor asks.

“A little.”

“Let me grab my coat.  It might need a shove.”

James back tracks into the kitchen, stopping to give me a reassuring kiss.  He smells of fuel.  Then he, MBF and Castor go out the side door by the kitchen.  I see the two younger men walking beside the van, hands on it, with James in the driver’s seat.  He slowly moves it up into the small, protected area in front of the side door.  The three stomp the snow off their boots before coming in the door.

“Thought we couldn’t park there, Dad” Cali teases.

“Hey, my house, my credit card on the rental van” James grins at his daughter.

Holding her hands up, “I concede the point!” she laughs.

The two boys put their coats on the coat rack by that door.  James takes his into the garage.  I stand at the end of the hallway waiting for him.  “I topped off the fuel in the genny” he smiles at me.  “Diesel fuel stinks” he grins at me before kissing me gently.  He stops in the kitchen to wash his hands.  Several times.  He just grins at me.  Another powerful gust hits the house.  I shiver.  James pulls me into a hug, one arm around my waist, the other tenderly cupping my head.  I wrap both my arms around his waist.  Gently easing his hold on me, “You ok?”  I heave a sigh and smile at him, nodding.  We all make our way back to the media room. 

Castor stands and stretches before the last episode.  “Who’s up for some snacks?” he grins.  Again, we all head into the kitchen.  Some popcorn is made.  James, MBF and I make sandwiches from the last of the roast beef.  Cali heats up some rice and tops it with butter and salt.  Grabbing a couple bags of chips and everyone grabs a Liquid Death can from the fridge, there’s a parade back to the Media Room.  Castor is the last one to enter the media room, carrying one of James’ guitars.  Grinning, “Here Dad, in case you want to play along!”

Laughing with his son, “Thanks, but that’s not my line.  That’s Kirk.”

“No, it’s yours.”

“I do a short solo in the middle.  The lead is all Kirk” James smiles at his boy, taking a bite from his sandwich.

“I thought this was all you.”

“Sorry Castor” James smiles.  “They even cut my solo from the show.  This rendition is all Kirk.”  Seeing the look on his boy’s face, “But I appreciate the vote of confidence.”

Castor, setting the guitar on the counter, “I honestly thought this was all you” he grins at his Dad.

“It’s me in Jungle Cruise” James offers.

“We should watch that next” MBF offers.

“How about we finish this show.  Next time we’ll do a movie marathon” James counters.

“Deal!”

Castor starts the last episode.  Everyone sits up to headbang when Eddie starts playing.  When the lines comes, we all shout “Most Metal ever!” laughing.  I smile at James.  He pulls me into a kiss.  When the episodes ends, Castor flops back on the sofa, arms raised, “We did it!”  There’s general laughter.

“You guys should pack up tonight” I offer.

James nods in agreement, “Excellent idea.  With the winds, you’ll want to leave a little early in case there’s trees on the freeway.”

Looking up at his Dad, “That corner there at Wolcott can be tricky.”  James just nods.

“Ok dorks” Marcella turns to her counterparts, “Let’s bag up.”

Castor powers down the system.  The kids all depart to their rooms.  I gather up the blankets.  James helps me, grabbing his guitar before turning off the lights in the room.  Leaning his guitar against the wall, the blankets get dumped on the floor in front of the washer.  “I’ll get to these when the power’s back” I tell him as he pulls me into a hug, my hands rest on his chest.

He kisses my forehead.  “What about the wind here has you jittery?” his eyes search my face.

“The winds here just sound … savage.”  I pat his chest, “The winds in the city just don’t sound like the winds here.”

Cupping my head into his chest, “I can understand that” as he pulls me in tighter.  I lean my head back looking into his face.  “From the sounds, I think the worst is over” he looks at me a gentle smile on his lips.  Leaving the laundry room and taking my hand, James reaches for his guitar and is almost bowled over by Castor.

“Yikes!”  Castor grabs his Dad.  “You ok?”

“I have enough bruises, thanks son” James teases Castor.

“I was just coming back.  I forgot to put your guitar away.”

James hands the axe to his boy, “Here ya go” he smiles.

Smiling, “Thanks.  I’ll put it back.”  Castor heads up the hallway, “Night Dad.”

“Night Castor” he watches the young man retreating up the hallway.

I rest my hand on his forearm and let it slide into his hand, smiling gently at the megarocksuperstargod dad at my side.   Sighing, he gently squeezes my hand.  Then turning to me with a gentle smile, we walk into the living room.  I see that there are some things the kids have left in the room and start collecting them.  James stops me, makes me set the things down and smiles, “Hey dorks!  Y’all left things in the living room!”  I raise my eyebrows at him.  “What?” he grins.

“So you started the dorks thing?”

“No.  That was actually Lars” he smiles.

Soon all six young people are in the living room collecting their items.  CGF and Marcella do a thorough search of the room as well as the kitchen.  With a “Good night!” they return to their rooms.

James turns off the lights in the living room.  With a sigh, he turns off the tree lights.  The room is very dark indeed.  Draping an arm over my shoulders to my other hip, he leads us to our bedroom – making sure to close the door behind us.  After climbing into bed, he’s fidgety.  I roll over, “What’s wrong?”

“I don’t like sleeping with the genny running.”  Reaching to my bed side table, I hand him the TV remote.  With concern etched on his face, “Are you sure?”

“Positive” I caress his face.

He sits up against the headboard and turns on the TV.  I completely roll over, putting my head into his lap.  His fingers play with my hair.  I drift to sleep. 

I feel him shift me gently off his lap.  That’s when I realize that the faded roar of the generator is silenced.  James is cold when he curls up against my back.  “All good?” I whisper.

“Yes, other than I’m cold” he snugs up closer.  I pull his arms tighter around me.

Sleep grabs us both.

Rockies Christmas - Day 14

Warnings: Fluff, Marvel Universe Referenced, New Years celebrations, (Hang on!  It’s cumming!  {see what I did there}) Finger Fucking, NSFW

Guide: CBF = Cali’s Boyfriend / CGF = Castor’s Girlfriend / MBF = Marcella’s Boyfriend {I didn’t want to give them names}

The day dawns bright.  Right into my eyes.  Patting the bed, James’ side is empty.  Then I hear the toilet flush.  I slip out of my side and pad into the bathroom.  James scoops me into his arms, planting a kiss on me.  “Morning gorgeous!”

My hands find his shoulders, “Morning handsome!” and kiss him.  Then I sniff.  And look at him.

“Shower.”  He picks me up and carries me into the shower stall.  As I wash his body, I am amazed at how quickly he’s healing.  James sees the look on my face, “What?”

“Are you sure you’re not part Wolverine?” as I gently caress his bruised face.

“I might be.  I was back onstage 15 days after the fire.”

“How the hell where you able to do that?  You had to have been in serious pain.”

“Just stubborn idiocy.”  He rinses my hair.  “And I didn’t want to disappoint the fans after what happened.”  He gently kisses me.  “I promised myself after that happened, if at all possible, I’d get my ass on stage.”

“You should be proud of yourself.  You’ve done pretty good.”

He turns off the water, “It was because of me that the Australian dates had to be cancelled.”

I kiss his wet back, “That was needed.”  I turn him, “And I am proud of you.  That environment is tough to stay sober in.”

“Hey lovebirds!  Pancakes!” comes from downstairs.

I am almost dumped on the shower floor as James bolts to get dressed, “PANCAKES!”

“Go!” comes from downstairs.

It took me a little longer to get dressed before I could make my way to the kitchen.  I snort a laugh as I see James sitting at the table behind a stack of about eight cakes on his plate. 

Marcella is at the stove grinning.  As she flips another cake, “I made a whole batch just for Dad” she tells me.

When everyone is done, I kick the kids out of the kitchen and start with the clean-up.  James helps with the unload on the dishwasher.  He puts the big platters away in the high cupboard.  He smacks my ass when I bend over to put the cookie sheets in the drawer under the range.  I stand up rubbing my butt, “That one hurt.”

Pulling me to him, “I can kiss it and make it all better” he grins at me.

“Gross Dad!”  “Take it upstairs!”  “There’s kids here!” comes from the table.

We snort in laughter.

As we finish with loading the dishwasher and starting it, CBF comes into the kitchen.  “Out.”  We quickly depart the kitchen.  Cali sits on a stool and watches her man with a grin, hand on her belly.

“Hey Dad, are there still skis downstairs?” Castor asks.

“No.  I donated those to the ski school a couple of years ago.  Why?”

“I thought about doing a couple of runs.”

“You could call the run and see if they can help out.  You’d need them to be brought here and a tow to the lift.  I’m not driving today.”

Castor uses the house phone.  By the look on his face, it’s not what he wanted to hear.  “They don’t have someone to do the tow.  I guess a bunch called in sick today.”

James pats Castor’s knees as he sits on the sofa, “Sorry about that buddy.”

“Mind if bang awhile?”

James gives his son a look, “When did you grow up?”

“When you did” Castor gives his Dad a look.

“Will you two please go bang away!” Marcella gives them both a look.

“Race ya!  First one gets the drums!” James is grinning broadly.

“Now!” Marcella yells and they bolt from the room.  Laughter is heard from the studio.  Quickly followed by drums being played.  “Castor won” Marcella states.

I go to the tree and start collecting the empty gift boxes and collapsing them.  Marcella joins me, flattening out the tissue paper.  We manage to manhandle the boxes to the bedroom I’ve set up as my office.

Seeing the monitors and computer, “Whose set up is this?” Marcella asks.

“Mine.”

“Those monitors are huge.”

“I have bigger ones on my desk at work.”  I open the closet door, and the wrapping paper bin falls out.  We both giggle as we wrangle the rolls back into the bin. 

“How often do you have to work?”

“You mean you haven’t seen me working?” I grin.  She nods.  “I got the top files done the first week of December.  If something gets pressing, my boss would have called me.” 

The boxes threaten to fall off the shelf, but Marcella gets them organized and closes the closet door.  I slid the bin of papers under the bed.

“Don’t let Dad see that.”

“I’ll move it later.  Thank you, I appreciate the help” I tell her on the way back upstairs.

“You’re welcome.”  She stops on the stairs and turns to me, “I have noticed a change in Dad.  A good change.  What happened?”

“I was ready to walk out the door, but didn’t get out before the snow in September.”

“What aren’t you telling me.”

“My boss edits my notes to the authors that I edit.  I can be a little blunt.  Sometimes harsh.”  I sigh, “I was downright mean in the letter I wrote to James.”  I heave a sigh, “He still says that my bluntness was what he needed to see that he was being a …” I hesitate.

“A jerk?”

“That’s a nicer word” I smile.

“Your ring.”

“This is not an engagement ring” I look at my diamond encrusted band.  “I told him that I could accept his apology.  But that he’d have to work on my forgiveness.”  I play with the ring, “He said that this is his promise ring to me that he will work for that forgiveness every day.”

“I like you” she states simply.

I grin at her.  “James has told me that he will never marry again.  I told him that I don’t need the blessing of an archaic theological institution to say that I can love someone.”

“Soooo, you love Dad.”

Patting her shoulder, “With every fiber of my being” I tell her from my soul.  Marcella nods and we continue up the stairs into the living room.

Father and son are still pounding out music in the studio – all songs from other artists.  Marcella, myself, CGF, Cali, CBF and MBF all sit around the living room.  We occasionally pause when the song from the studio changes.  We start to see who can name the song first.  The discussion then goes into the memories of the new song.

“We could help you take this stuff down” Cali offers.

“No thank you.  I’ll get it taken down later” as I snuggle into the sofa a little.

CBF stands, “I need to check the Jambalaya” as he goes into the kitchen.

CGF looks at Cali, “You are so lucky.  Castor can barely boil water.”

“Yeah, but he can order a mean pizza” Cali deadpans back.

Nodding to Cali, “He learned that from his Dad.”  I manage a straight face for about 30 seconds.  Then there’s outright laughter.  “CBF, that smells wonderful!” I smile at the young man as he returns to the living room.

“Thank you.  It still needs a little longer.”

James and Castor walk into the living room, arms around each other’s shoulders.  Both sweating.  “Bit of a workout?” I ask them.

Using the hem of his t-shirt – exposing his still bruised belly - James wipes his brow, “Little bit.”  He sinks into the sofa next to me dropping his hand on my knee.  I smile softly at him.  Castor picks CGF up, sits and plops her into his lap.

“Was that better than skiing?” James smiles at his boy.

Castor laughs, “Not nearly as messy.”  CGF gives him a look.  “Wet snowsuit, wet socks, snow covered boots …”

“Usually left in the middle of the hallway.  Skis dropped in the driveway” James smiles at his kids.

“Hey!  Those weren’t my skis!” Castor says pointing at Marcella, who smacks her brother’s leg.

“I never left my boots in the hallway” Cali says.

“No, you’d leave yours in the garage and then complain that they were frozen the next day” James points out with a grin.

Nodding, “Ok yeah, I did that all the time” she confesses with a grin.  Then she looks at her belly.  Total fear written on her face.  “Dad?”  She looks again, “It feels weird.”  CBF is ready to jump up and dial 911.

James is instantly sitting on the table in front of her.  “Show me.”  She puts his big hand on her bump.  James feels around a minute, then grins and kisses her forehead.  “That’s your baby moving.”

She works her fingers under his big hand, “Really?”

“Yup.  Right there.”  James smiles, “That’s probably a foot.  Too early to tell for certain.”

Cali’s eyes tear up, “That’s our baby” she leans into CBF’s shoulder.  His hand joins Cali’s, wonder etched on his face.

James returns to my side, draping his arm around my shoulders.  “You used to kick your Mom really hard” James tells Cali.  “Especially late at night.”  Looking to Marcella, “You had your butt out almost the whole time.”  He smiles at me, pulling me closer to him.  “I should have known that you’d be the drummer” he looks at his son.

“Why?” CGF asks.

“His hands were constantly playing a rhythm!”  Smiling at Cali, “Your child will only get more active as time goes on.  Sleep while you can.”

CBF, with his hand still on her belly, “I’ll see that she does.”

Pointing to the young man, “Good answer.”

“I remember the first time you took us skiing!” Marcella laughs.  “I think I spent more time sitting in the snow than standing on my skis!”

Cali points to her dad, “I remember the trip to Hawaii where you ended up carrying me because I lost a water shoe!”

James huffs a laugh “My favorite memory is the look on your faces when that elephant charged the jeep!”

They spend time dredging up memories of family trips, holidays, tours and school events.  I feel James flinch slightly at some of the school things the kids talked about.  Evidently he’d missed a few.

Castor looks at CBF, “When’s dinner?”

“About 40 minutes from now.”

Castor just looks at everyone with his own goofy grin smeared on his face.

“Hang on Castor.  I want Kira to see the Torchlight Parade and Fireworks” James says.  I look up at James.  “They ski down the main run with flares lit right after sunset” he looks at the clock on the shelf “in about 20 minutes.  Then there are fireworks lit.  Not as big a show as the Fourth, but still decent.”

I smile, “I like fireworks.”

MBF leans forward on his knees, “You should the ones in Vancouver BC.  It’s three nights.”

“Isn’t there a huge competition for fireworks?” CBF looks to MBF.

MBF thinks a second, “I think that’s the one in Finland.  There are a couple of others in the states, but not as big as Finland.”

Nodding, “We’ll have to see about getting to one of those” James hugs my shoulders.

“Can we see the skiers from the house?” I look up at James. 

“Yes.  But the best place is outside on the patio.  Which means, we’ll need coats and boots.”  He stands up and pulls me to my feet.  “I want to change shirts.  This one is a little damp” as he pulls it off. 

I toss him a look as he knows I love to see his body undressed.  Even bruised.

Everyone is searching for a coat and boots when Marcella yells from the living room, “There’s the warning shot!”  A small firework booms.

Wearing my big coat, I’m tugging on my mukluks when James comes up behind me bumping his hips into mine.  Putting a hand on the wall to keep from being knocked into it, I look over my shoulder at him.  He’s giving me a wicked grin.  Standing up, I turn to him caressing his face with both hands, “Later” I purr at him.

“It’s starting!” MBF calls.

James gets his boots on and follows me to the patio.  It’s quite the sight of all the skiers, each holding a flare, coming down the hill making a zig-zag pattern down the main run.  James wraps his arms around me, pulling me into his chest.  I reach back and grab his pants and pull his hips closer to me.  He growls gently into my ear. 

The fireworks start almost as soon as the last skier gets to the bottom of the run.  James was correct that it was a relatively short show but still pretty.  I sigh as it ends.

“Dinner’s probably done” CBF says.  “Who’s hungry?” he grins.  CBF leads the way into the kitchen with coats and boots left by the patio door.

“I think I forgot something, but it turned out ok” he grins as he dishes out dinner. 

Taking my bowl, I sit with the others at the kitchen table.  I take a couple of bites.  “It’s delicious.”  Looking at Cali, she has a bowl of rice with a little of the Jambalaya in a separate bowl.  “Tum?”

“Don’t know yet.  I’m going to take it easy.”

“Good thinking” James smiles at her.

Marcella makes CBF sit as she, Castor and CGF clean up – which doesn’t take long.

“Ok.  There’s about six hours to midnight.  Six more episodes?” again Castor with the goofy grin.  For the win.  He almost skips leading the way into the media room. 

After four episodes, “I could use another bowl of Jambalaya” James declares.  He almost dumps me off the sofa as he stands up, barely catching me before I hit the floor, both of us laughing.  Even MBF reached out to help me.

As we walk to the kitchen, Castor drops an arm around my shoulders, “You might regret Dad having another bowl.”

CGF pat Castor’s stomach, “Yeah, you too.”

Nodding, “It might be a tie then” Castor grins.

Grabbing his hips from behind CGF chuckles, “You can’t talk!”

Pointing, “Dad is worse!”

Both his sisters shake their heads, “You can be worse!”

CBF dishes out bowls for those wanting more.  I, like Cali, go for just a bowl of rice.  Clean up was everyone putting their own dishes into the dishwasher.  CGF tosses in the pod and starts it.

“Hey, Kira.  Are there any more cookies left?” MBF asks.

As James pulls me down the hallway to the media room, “Check the pantry!” I laugh out.

Castor starts another episode after we’re all back in our places, some happily munching cookies.

Three more episodes under our belts, James stands up and stretches.  “Who wants pots and pans?”  He’s almost knocked over by his kids running to the kitchen.  James holds his hand out to me and hand in hand we follow the six kids.  They are all in the pantry pulling out the old pots and pans that I’d almost thrown out.  Donning coats and boots again, we pile out on to the patio.  James keeps an eye on the clock in the kitchen.  The kids are all bouncing around.  His velvet rumble starts the countdown, “Ten.  Nine.  Eight.  Seven. Six.  Five.”  He turns me to face him, “Four.  Three.  Two.  One.”  To the banging of pots and pans from more than just this patio and fireworks from the skir run, James leans in and kisses me.  I wrap my arms around his neck pulling him closer.  His hand cups the back of my head keeping me in our kiss.  He slowly lets me go, his blue eyes flaring with passion, happiness, a flash of darkness, then something deeper.  He gives me a quick follow up kiss.

“I’m freezing” Marcella says as she goes back inside.

“Me too” as CGF follows.

I caress James’ head to his neck, “I’m pretty warm.”  His smile goes a little wicked.  I wiggle out of his arms, take his hand and lead him inside.

Castor is coming back up the hallway from the media room, “I’m thinking we’re done in there tonight.”

“Morning, you dork” Marcella playfully shoves her brother.

As James gently pulls me upstairs, “Happy New Years, kids.”

A chorus of “Happy New Years” follows us the stairs.

“Hey Castor!”

“What Cali?”

“Close your bedroom door tonight.  We don’t want to hear you two again.”

James hangs his head, “I didn’t need to know that” he whines softly as I close the door on our bedroom.

I start the home device playing classical music.  Going to James, I slowly start undressing him.  His hands softly cover mine.  I run my hands over his body.  He’s still got some bad bruising.  Some are still a little tender.  Standnig behind him, I gently run my hands down his back and over his hips.  His hands grab my wrists and tug them to his belly pressing my face against his back, “Not sure I am ready yet.”

Kissing his back, I flatten my hands against his stomach and chest.  “I just want to touch you.”

Holding my left wrist, he pulls my hand to his mouth kissing my ring and finger.  Then he rotates in my arms.  He kisses my ring and finger again as a tear leaves a trail down his cheek. 

Using my thumb, I wipe it away.  I pull his head to me, kissing his lips tenderly, “You’re here.”  Another kiss.  “You’re alive.”  Another kiss.  “You’re whole.”

He kisses me deeply.  I can feel another tear fall.  Looking at me, “I will be.”  He kisses my hairline.  “If you’ll help me.”

I know what it took for him to say those four words.  “I’m in this for the long haul, James Alan Hetfield.”  I kiss him softly.  “I love you with every fiber of my being.”

He kisses me.  “Kira Elizabeth Mooreland, I love you with … every cell in my body.”  He grins at me before kissing me again. 

“You can say fiber.  I don’t mind” I smile at him. 

Another kiss.  His hands run up my back pulling my clothes from the waist up off me.  His hands softly run down my arms still over my head.  I just watch him.  His eyes slowly wander over my body as though he’s memorizing every pore of me.  My fingers gently run over his face, neck, shoulders.  His lips find my neck.  They find that one spot.  My knees buckle as he kisses, sucks, and nibbles on that one magic spot.  His arms lock around me, keeping me from falling to the floor. 

I don’t realize that he’s backing us to the bed until my bare back is laying on the cool sheet.  He’s pulled the duvet to the floor.  I arch up some into his chest.  He runs his hands down my back warming it as his lips work their way over my collar bone, across my chest, to the other side of my neck, finding that magic spots’ twin.  I whimper into his shoulder.  He rolls off the bed, moves to the end and slowly pulls off my pants, grinning wickedly at me once I am totally naked.  I slowly writhe under his gaze, my hands roaming my own stomach and breasts. 

James moves to the side of the bed and lays down on my right side, making sure to trap my right arm under him, his left arm snakes under my neck.  I slowly make lazy patterns on his back with my right hand.  His right-hand cups my chin tilting my head up and kissing me.  He tenderly encircles my left wrist and slowly pulls it to my left shoulder where his left hand securely holds it.  He looks at me.  I suck in a shuddering breath.  His right fingers slowly drag across my arm, my shoulders, caress my neck, palm my breasts – giving each a tender squeeze.  His eyes still drinking my naked form in.  Then his fingers trace tender patterns down my stomach.  They slow as they reach my pubic bone where they stop.  His eyes slowly make their way back to my face.  I’m panting slightly.  I know that I’m soaking wet.  His eyes lock on mine, he places his right palm on my abdomen just above my pubic bone, his fingertips right at the crest of my folds.  I suck in a sharp breath.  His right leg wraps around my right leg pulling it between his, trapping it between his thighs, then his right toes press against my left knee keeping me from closing my legs.  I know that I’m now totally trapped by his body and completely at his mercy.  I take several stuttering breaths.  He kisses me tenderly.  Then his right hand slowly starts exploring my folds.  I arch up slightly.  “I haven’t even started and you’re soaking wet” he grins at me.  I can only pant and smile at him.  “Already beyond words?” he purrs at me.  Again, I can only nod.  He kisses me as his fingers tease my clit making me shudder.  “Good!”  His eyes never leave mine.  His fingers are torturously slowly working my cunt.  Rubbing, then spreading my vulva, then fingertips making lazy patterns around me.  He lays his whole hand over my core, his fingertips wiggling softly.  He kisses me.  Smiling like a cheshire cat, “Ready?” as he slowly presses one digit into me.  I groan loudly just before his mouth covers mine, the fingers on my right hand digging into his back.  He’s snickering into the kiss.  Then his lips are right beside my ear as he slowly adds a digit inside me, “I love to watch you” as those digits reach deep inside me.  I arch up into his hold clawing at his back.  “So wet” he purrs at me as his hand slowly starts to fuck me.  Each thrust a little deeper.  Each deep thrust includes a wiggle from his fingers.  Each thrust making me a mewling mess.  He slows his actions watching me writhe, then adds another digit.  My hips rise on their own accord.  He grins at me as he starts thrusting his hand into me.  I’m panting, clawing at his back, my breaths coming in shorter gasps.  He kisses the end of my nose, “Should I be mean?”  I’m trying to buck my hips so his fingers go deeper into me.  “Should I make you beg?” his grin so lovingly wicked.  I whine, my right hand smacking the bed.  “Not tonight” he grins as his thumb finds my clit.  His mouth covers mine as I cum all over his fingers, my hips bucking hard against his hand.  He slows the actions with his right hand as he releases the hold on my left wrist.  I am incapable of moving, my left arm flopping to the bed.  My hips give one last lift as he tenderly withdraws his fingers.  I watch panting as he slowly sucks my wet mess from his fingers grinning at me, “Better than Jambalaya.”  I laugh softly panting still.  He withdraws his arm from under me.  He slips off the bed to recover the duvet which he flips up over my still slightly quivering body.  Dropping his pants, he slides into bed, spooning me into his body.  I curl up around his arm.  His nose buries into my hair at the back of my neck.  “Happy New Year Kira” he breathes softly.

As my eyes close, “Happy New Year James.”

Rockies Christmas - Day 13

Warnings: Fluff, Gifting First Responders, Shameless Product Placement

Guide: CBF = Cali’s Boyfriend / CGF = Castor’s Girlfriend / MBF = Marcella’s Boyfriend {I didn’t want to give them names}

I blink awake.  Stretching and yawning, I roll to my side.  James is still sound asleep.  I slip from bed, grab yoga pants, a baggy sweatshirt and go use the toilet while getting dressed.  I wince as I flush the toilet.  I don’t want to wake James.  Checking on him, he shifts, snorfels softly, then sighs and sags back to sleep.  I quickly leave our room. 

Getting into the kitchen, there stands Cali staring into the open fridge.  “You ok?”

“Now I’m starving.”  She lets the door shut.  “I couldn’t eat anything a few days ago.  Now I can’t get enough.”

Moving her to a barstool, “What are you craving?”

“Everything.”

Smiling gently at her, “I mean, are you craving sweets?  Proteins?  Carbs?”

She stops and thinks moment.  “Proteins.”

Nodding, “Ok.  Breakfast burrito it is.”  I pull out what I need from the fridge.  As I start the onions grilling in the skillet, “Would you please start the coffee maker?”

“Sure.  Why?”

“I give it five minutes and your Dad will be down here” I grin at Cali.  It only takes a short time for the onions to grill.  I move them off the burner and start a second skillet heating.  This one I dump the beaten eggs into, scrambling them with a wooden spatula.  Looking at the clock, “Three.  Two.  One.”

“I smell onions” comes James’ voice yawning.

“Morning Dad” Cali smiles.

James gives her a hug, “You look better.  You have some color in your cheeks.”

“I can eat without barfing every ten minutes.”

“That’s good news” James smiles.  “Means that you’ll be starving from this point on.”  He moves to the coffee pot and makes our mugs.

“Was Mom that way?”

“Morning sick?” James asks.  Cali nods.  “A little with each of you.  But not too bad.”  James sets our mugs on the kitchen table.

I can see the concern in Calis’ eyes, “Cali, everyone is different.  I worked with a pair of twins.  Sasha couldn’t keep anything down for about two months.  Nadine never got morning sick at all.”  Cali’s eyebrows knit together.  “Even twins have certain wiring that’s different.  And there’s nothing wrong with that.  It’s just how we are.” 

I pull the pan of eggs off the heat and shred some of the roast beef.  I pull out and zap for a few seconds three large tortillas.  Putting them each on their own plate, I quickly get one burrito made, handing it to James.  His eyes light up.  “What do you want on yours?”  Cali’s burrito ends up being very close to her Dad’s.  Just no hot sauce.  I put mine together.  The three of us sit at the kitchen table happily eating our breakfast when the others stumble in.

“Oh wow!  Breakfast burritos!” Castor grins.

“Well, the cook has sat” James puts a hand on my shoulder keeping me in my seat.  “The kitchen is now self-serve.”

Nodding, “Fair enough” Castor grins.

Quickly, all eight of us are seated around the table with our burritos in various stages of consumption. 

CBF speaks up, “James, what New Year traditions do you have?”

James leans back in his chair, “I usually take gift cards to the first responders.  Why?”

“What about meal?”

“Whatever is leftover in the fridge.”  James gives CBF a look, “Why?”

“I’d like to make Jambalaya.”

James looks at me.  I motion, “There’s the kitchen.”

Cali grins.  “We will need to make a trip to the store.”

“We can use the van” CGF offers.

James looks out the window.  It’s snowing lightly.  “Naw.  We’ll take the truck.  Let’s make a trip to the store.”

Castor looks out the window, “Truck it is!”

The kids clean up the breakfast dishes.  Within the hour, we are all dressed and piled into the truck.  I decide to let James drive.  It wouldn’t be cool for the megarockgodsuperstar to climb out of the passenger side of his own truck.  Even if he still looks like he got slapped in the face with his own seven hundred pound snowmobile.  The first stop is a SB.  James pulls on a pair of sunglasses.  The bruising can still be seen, but the worst of it is hidden.  We all pile out. 

Walking in the store, the manager turns.  “Hey James!”

“Hi Chris.”

“Brought the whole fam damily this time, huh?”

James smiles, “We’re making a day of it.”

“The usual?” as Chris goes to a register and signs in.

“Yes, please.”

“Ok, that’s one tall Pike Place roast and 50 cards at ten dollars each.”

“Do you already have those loaded?”  Chris nods.  “Would you be mad if I have a few more loaded?”

“Not at all.”

James turns to us, “Each of you pick out five cards.”

The kids go to the card racks.  There are giggles and chatter among them as they make their selections.

James leans into me, “You too” and he kisses my temple.  I find a cute card at the bottom of the rack and pull out five.

The cards all get placed on the counter.  “This will take a minute, James.”

“No worries.”  Looking to us, “You all good on coffee?”

“A grande blond vanilla latte, add two pumps caramel, please” I ask.  I get a look from James.  “What?”

“You always manage to surprise me with something” as he pulls me into a loose hug, his hands clasped behind my back.  I rest my hands on his chest.

The kids each place a drink order and Chris rings up the total.  James releases me gently, pulling out his wallet.  “The math isn’t adding up, Chris.”

“The coffees are on the house today” Chris grins.

“Thanks, that’s very kind.”

“Hey, I know where these cards are going.  I wish I could just give these to you, but then they wouldn’t work” as he hands the new cards to James.  “Do you want the envelopes?”

“Yes, please” as James ponies up his credit card.  He hands me the new gift cards.

Chris finishes with the register – handing James a rather long receipt which just gets passed to me – and he disappears into the back.  He comes back holding a small box.  “Here they are.”

“Thanks again Chris” James shakes hands.

“My pleasure!”

We collect our coffees and James sits at a table – which takes me off guard.  From an inside pocket of his coat, James pulls out a sharpie.  The next 45 minutes are spent with James putting his JH mark – he stopped signing his full name years ago – on each card with the year.  The rest of us blow on the cards to dry the ink and put the card into an envelope.  There’s chatter among us about how we’ve celebrated New Years’ Eve in years past.

“Kira, have you ever seen the ball drop?” CGF wants to know.

“On TV.”

Castor looks at me, “You’ve never been there in person?”

I look at Castor, “I’m 5 foot 2.  I would be crushed.”  He grins.  “There’s easily a million people crammed into the Square.” 

Castor’s eyes squint.  “Think Moscow.  I know you’ve seen the footage” James says.

There’s a quiet “woah” from the kids.

“And since 9/11, they have tightened up security to the point where there are no in/out’s allowed.”

Marcella’s eyebrows knit together, “In/outs?”

“You can’t leave to go get food or use the bathroom and come back.”

“Nope.  Not going now” CGF says.

Hiking a thumb at James, “Get your Dad to play it.  That’s the only way I’ll go in person” I grin at him.

“Nope.  Not playing there or Superbowl.”

Castor leans across the table his hands outstretched towards James, “C’mon Dad!  You guys would kill a Superbowl halftime!”  James just shakes his head, taking a drink from his coffee.  “But you did the Raiders” Castor whines slightly.

“We played the parking lot.  Before a Playoff game.  On a flatbed trailer” James looks at his son.  “We didn’t play the game” he grins.  “And I know why you want us to play Superbowl.  You don’t want to buy those tickets!” James gives Castor a wink and grin.

Castor puts his head on the table between his outstretched arms, “They are soooo expensive!” this time he did whine.

Patting his sons’ hands, “Perhaps one day, you will play half time and I will be the one asking you for tickets” James deadpans.  Castor raises his head and bursts out laughing, which causes the rest of us to laugh.

The gift cards are all collected and put into the box.  Which James hands to me.  Castor collects the sharpie.  We climb into the truck.  The cards are taken to the firehouses, the Hospital Emergency Room and Police station, where James shakes the hands of everyone on duty that shift, leaving cards for those not on duty today.  He begs off on selfies – this year.  “Let me recover from being smacked upside the head” he nods in my direction grinning.  I just shrug my shoulders and chuckle. 

One paramedic took it seriously.  “I can’t swing much less pick up a snowmobile” I snark.

“Yeah, I took a tumble with my machine” he pulls his glasses down a little.

“Ouch!” is the general response.

“You should have seen him a week ago” MBF adds.

As we pile back into the truck, “James, there’s twelve cards left.”

“I know.  Those are going to the airport” he just gently grabs my thigh.

We pull up to the chopper hanger and all tumble out.  “Hey Jacobs!” James calls out, pulling off the sunglasses.

“Well look what the cat dragged in!  You’re looking good James!”

“And I have you to thank for that.”  James gives the chopper pilot a hug.

“Hey, just doing what I do” Jacobs says matter of factly.

“Well, these are for you and your team.  It’s not much.  But they are signed.”  James hands over the cards.  “And you and your team will be on the list for any show you want.”

Jacobs shakes James’ hand, “That is above and beyond, but greatly appreciated!”

“Once this snow melts, I’ll need to hire you to get my machine out of that field.”

“And straight to the junk yard” Jacobs chuckles.

James’ eyebrows knit together, “You’re the second one to say that.  Is it really that bad?”

“James” Jacobs puts a hand on James’ shoulder, “I have seen what you have done with cars.”  Shaking his head, “But this is beyond even your skills in the garage.”  James just heaves a sigh.  “The cowling is completely smashed up, the frame is probably bent – if not cracked, the handlebars are through the engine cover, probably skewered the engine and the track is in about three pieces.”  He looks James in the eye, “You shouldn’t have survived.”  I can see that James is shaken by this information and I gently rest a hand on his lower back. 

“I shouldn’t have survived the fire.  I shouldn’t have survived the skidoo.  Now this.”

“Hey Dad, I know you are a Leo.  But will you leave the last few lives alone?” Cali smiles at James, rubbing her belly.

Grinning, James pats the growing bump, “I’ll try” he smiles at his oldest child.  Jacobs gives James a look.  Smiling like a fool, “Cali is making me a Grandpa!”

“Well Congratulations!  Old man!” Jacobs slaps James’ shoulder.  The phone in the office rings and is answered.  “I should probably see what that’s about.”  He shakes James’ hand again, “We’ll get your machine when the snows melt.  I’ve already told BML about it, so they know it’s there.  Happy New Year you lucky bastard!”

“Happy New Year to you, you freaking sky jockey!”

Pointing at James as he heads into the office, “You can do better!”

Waving, “I will next time!” James smiles.

Again, we stuff ourselves into the truck.  As we go to enter the freeway, something makes me grab James’ arm. Hard.  He stops and looks at me.  I shiver.  He gives me a concerned look just as a motorcycle comes screaming between us and the truck in the next lane over, using the gore point to pass.  The biker almost lost it in the slush there but managed to stay upright and punched it even harder.

“That guy had to be doing 80” Castor says quietly from the back seat.

“Closer to 100” James states.  He pats my hand, then checking traffic again, pulls us on to the freeway.  We are silent for a time.  “So, we need the grocery store, yes?” James asks the backset.

“The one with the really good andouille sausages, please Dad” Cali says from her boyfriend’s lap.

I can see James thinking, “Ok.  I remember where that one is.”

It takes a few minutes to get there.  With the size of his truck, James parks it towards the back of the lot.  I swear we look like a clown car as we tumble out.  CGF does almost sits down in the slush, but Castor and MBF make the grab for the save.  It’s a smaller store with a good specialty meat counter.  CBF’s eyes light up.  I grab a cart and wander the store with the others.  CBF catches up to us with his parcel from the meat department.  He dashes around collecting the other things that he needs, smiling. 

Pulling his daughter to his side, “Does he always shop like this?”

Cali grins, “He’s a lot like you.  He likes to cook” she side hugs her Dad.

“Why Jambalaya?”

“He’s from New Orleans.”

Nodding, “So we’ll get the good Jambalaya then” James wiggles his eyebrows.

As CBF drops a bag of rice into the cart, he kisses his fingers like a French chef, “The best!”

The store has a selection of cookware, CBF stops.  “What is the biggest pan you have?”

James pats CBF on the shoulder “Pick out whatever you need.  That way it will be here when you come back.”  CBF eyes open wide.  Cali motions for him to pick out what he needs, rubbing her belly.

I backtrack to a previous aisle, find what I’m looking for and catch up to the little hoard around the cart.

At check out, I beat James to pulling out a credit card.  Giving him a goofy grin, he wraps his arms around me, putting his lips next to my ear, “Gonna be like that, huh?” kissing my ear.  I just nod leaning into his embrace.

As things are bagged up, I collect the lotion I’d selected.  I hand it to Cali, “You are going to rub your belly raw.  Use this.”  She just laughs but takes the bottle.

The purchases are piled into the bed of the truck and the kids strategically pile into the back seat.  James steps in after making sure that I have clambered into the passenger seat.  “Anyone need anything else?” James asks.

“Nope.”  “All good.”  “Can’t think of anything.”  Comes from the back seat.

James looks at me.  I smile at him.  I can tell that he’s tired.  He smiles at me and – checking the surroundings – backs the truck out of the spot.  Once we get home, he stops outside the garage to let the back seat out, before putting the truck into the garage.

Marcella pats her Dad’s back, “We got this Dad.”  She gives me a smile.  I can tell that she too sees that he’s tired.

I hold my hand out to him.  James tosses the key fob to her, takes my hand letting me guide him to our room.  I pull his clothes from his body creating a small pile of our clothes at the foot of the bed.  James makes a trip to the bathroom.  Pulling the covers back, I pull off my clothes and climb in.  When James returns, I hold my arms out to him.  He slides into the sheets, wrapping me in his arms, resting his head on my shoulder, his leg draping up over my hips.  I flip the covers over us.  I caress his hair gently with my fingers.  I feel his body sag into slumber.  I lay awake for a time just watching him sleep.  His eyelashes and eyebrows still showing hints of the blonde he used to be.  His cheeks bearing the slight scarring from the acne he’d had as a kid.  He shifts some in his sleep, rubbing his nose and mustache into my boob.  I kiss his hairline.  Resting my hand on his tattoo laced arm, my cheek on the top of his head.  I don’t remember my eyes closing.

I wake as James stretches.  He looks up at me.  The bruising on his face going into the yellow-green stage.  I kiss him between the eyebrows.  “Sleep good?” I almost whisper.

“Yeah.  Didn’t realize how tired I was.”

My hand rubs his arm, “Well, gee.  It’s not like you haven’t been through a lot in the last ten days or so” rolling my eyes overdramatically at him.

He grabs my ribs and plants a solid mouth fart between my boobs.  I squeal in laughter.  He blows another making me laugh even harder.  He rests his chin between my boobs.  “I love to hear you laugh.”

Caressing his head, “I love to see you smile.”

He’s closing in on kissing me when “Dad!  Kira!”  His head sinks to my chest.  “Dinner!”

“Did we just get called to dinner by the kids … like we’re the kids?” I ask the top of his head.  His head pops up, his blue eyes twinkling.  He bursts into laughter as he hugs me tightly which makes me laugh.

“C’mon you two!  It’s getting cold!”

“Give us a second!  Geez!” James yells back.  I can hear the laughter from downstairs.  He looks at me, “That was their standard answer back in the day!”

Kicking out of the covers, we climb out of bed.  James helps me tidy the covers.  Grabbing a pair of leggings and a tank top I head into the toilet.  I hear James laughing softly.  After washing, he smacks my ass as he heads to the toilet.  I go back to the closet and pull on a baggy knit sweater.  Wearing a pair of sweatpants and a Motorhead t-shirt, James wraps his arms around me – almost carrying me – down the stairs to the kitchen.

“Took you long enough!” Cali says, hands on her hips.  She’s trying to keep a straight face, but loses that battle when James starts laughing again.

Pulling away gently from James, “Standard answer?”  He can only nod at me.

We are presented with open face roast beef sandwiches and the last of all the vegetables from Christmas dinner.  The surprise is the grilled onions on the sandwiches.  James nods, “Nice touch!”

I insist on helping with the cleanup as the kids had done the cooking.  Once the dishwasher is started, Castor says, “Stranger Things time!”

“We really going to binge the whole show?” James looks at his boy.

“Yes, Dad” Castor nods, “This should become the new tradition!  Besides, there’s a new season being worked on!”

In short order, we’re again piled onto the huge sofa structure in the media room, covered in blankets as another episode is started.  James pulls me a little tighter into his side, kissing my temple.  I rest my head on his chest.

Two episodes later, “I gotta pee” I announce.

“Good idea” MBF says.

The bathrooms are all soon put to use.

As I come back through the kitchen, I grab the tub with the cookies.  James is pulling out some Squeezed to Death cans from the fridge.  “Need to restock these” he grins.  Castor starts the next episode once everyone is again tucked into their blankets.

Three episodes and one bin of cookies later, we call it a night.

As we climb back into bed, James pulls my naked body to his.  I curl around his arm sighing.  His breath warm on the back of my neck.

“I have a question for you.” 

“mmhmm”

“What happened today with the motorcycle.”  I nod slightly.  “Does that happen often?”

I pause a moment, then rotate towards his face.  “Grandmother told me that I could answer questions before they were asked.”  I look into his eyes, seeing nothing but compassion there.  “What happened today.  It’s never happened to me before.”  Goosebumps rise on my arms.

Rubbing my arms and kissing me, “I’m glad it did.  At that speed, he’d’ve come right through the back window.”  That makes me shiver.  James pulls me closer and just holds me, my head tucked under his chin.  My eyes close.  I feel myself sag into his arms as sleep grabs me.

Rockies Christmas - Day 12

Warnings:  Hospital release, Marvel Universe inferred, Shameless Product Placement, Homecoming, fluff

Guide: CBF = Cali’s Boyfriend / CGF = Castor’s Girlfriend / MBF = Marcella’s Boyfriend {I didn’t want to give them names}

I feel James untangle himself from me.  I help get him turned around and sitting on the bed.  He stretches.  I rub his lower back.  “Uuhngg.  That feels good.”  I rub his back a little more.  “I gotta piss.”  For some reason his bluntness about bodily functions doesn’t upset me.  Other men, I would have been slapping their arms or going on about that isn’t what should be said around a lady.  The very thought of James saying something like I gotta take a leak just doesn’t work.  Giggling to myself, I swing my legs to the edge of the bed.  James comes out of the bathroom.  He walks over to me and stands between my knees.  His hands run down my back, then back up and cups my face.  He kisses me.  There’s passion in it, but he’s holding back because of where we are.  I wrap my hands around his waist.  Pulling back from the kiss, James tucks my head under his chin and hugs me closer.  My nose is pressed up against his chest.  He’s smelt better, but he’s not that bad.  Yet.  “I suppose I need a shower” he huffs.

“You’re ok for another day.  No longer” I look up at him a grin plastered on my face.

“I can make that work!” as he kisses me again. 

“While you are vertical, I’m going to put more arnica on you.”  He nods, stretching.  I gently apply more oil to his bruises.  They are looking ugly.  Most are dark purple, some are going greenish-dark yellow.  “Do they hurt?”

“Not as bad.  My knee is still angry.”  He flexes and straightens his knee.

The doctor walks in.  “You’re vertical.”

“Barely” James grins.

The doctor starts going over James.  Makes James move his arms, legs and twist his head.  “Are you sure you’re not part X-man?”  James’ eyebrows knit together.

“I think he is part Wolverine” I grin up at James.

“You should still be lying flat on your back in agony.”  Pointing at James, “Even with your high pain tolerance.  What happened to you was pretty serious and yet here you are standing.”

“I’ve always healed quickly.”

As I cap the arnica oil, nodding, “Wolverine.”  I smile up at him.

“I am going to release you, only because I know you have someone who will keep you in check” the doctor points at me.  “But if anything feels or looks wonky, call me.”  He hands me a card with a number written on it.  “That’s my personal number.  Any time day or night.”

I nod, “Thank you doctor.”  I put the card with my phone.

“Alright then.  I’ll go do the discharge papers.  It will take a bit for those to process.”  He shakes James’ hand, “You’re going to been fine.  You will look a little shaggy for a time.”

“Thanks Doc!” James smiles.  “I’ll make sure that my number is on the paperwork.  If you ever want to go to a show, let me know.”

With a knowing look, “Show?  Are you in some kind of band or something?” the doctor almost laughs.

Nodding, “Something like that!” James laughs. 

As he walks to the door, “Not really my kind of music, but I might take my kids.”

“I’ll put you on the guest list for the whole package” James smiles.  As the door closes behind the doctor, James stretches.  He looks at the bed.

“Sit in the chair” I tell him.  I can see that he’s sore from being on his back in the crappy bed for so long.  Nodding he moves to the big ugly recliner.  He’s barely in it before standing again.  Rubbing his butt, “The bed is softer.”  I smile at him.  I adjust the bed so that the back is all the way up.  He sits and leans against the upright head of the bed.

I can hear them down the hallway before they barge into the door.  “Kids are here” I grin.  James smiles back me. 

“Hey Dad!” was the chorus.

Castor grabs his dad’s arm, “When are they letting you out?”

“Today.”

There’s a chorus of yays and woohoos.  “Then you’ll want these” Cali hands me a backpack.  Opening it, there’s clean clothes in it for both me and James. 

“Thank you!”  I dash into the bathroom and quickly put the clothes on.  Laughing to myself, I have to remove the tags off them first.  I exit the bathroom and hand the bag to James.  I hold it a moment giving him a look of do you want help.

He kisses my forehead, “I got this” he tells me quietly.

“I hope you don’t mind, I used the change from lunch to get those” Cali looks with concern at me.

“I don’t mind at all” I re-assure her.  James comes out of the bathroom wearing a pair of loose pants, a sweater.  And sandals.

“Sorry about the shoes Dad, I couldn’t remember your shoe size” Castor grins shyly at his mirror image.

“It’s one smaller than yours” James cocks an eyebrow at his son.

CGF smacks Castor’s bicep, “Told you!”

James gives her a thumbs up, “Keep it up!”

The nurse comes in with James’ release paperwork but has to go over his vitals one more time.  I step into the hallway with my phone.

“Eagle Airport Choppers”

“Hi.  This is Kira.”

“How’s James?”

I recognize the pilot’s voice, “He’s being released today.”

“That is excellent news!  I’m guessing that you’ll need a lift back to collect his big ass truck?”

Laughing, “Yes please!”

“One question: Why did you drive his precious truck?”

“Because I couldn’t put seven into my Shelby.”

“That’s your car?”  The shock in his voice is very evident.

“Yes, the Shelby is mine.”

“That’s a nice car.  I’ve seen it around over the summer.”

“Thank you.”

“So, when will James be released?”

“He’s getting the release paperwork now.”

“I’ll get the big bird in the air in about 10 minutes then.”

“We’ll need to get him fed and then check out of the hotel first.”

I hear the smile on the other end, “Give me a call when you get breakfast.  By the time you guys are done and get to the airport, I’ll be landing.”

“Thank you.  For everything.”

“You are most welcome.  I’ll see you in a bit.”  The call ends.

I return to the room as the nurse is handing James his paperwork.  James immediately hands it to me.  “I’ll just lose it” he says to the nurse.  I just nod.

“The car service will be downstairs in five minutes” Marcella says to the room.

CGF and Cali start gathering up the personal items that have become scattered all over the room.  I drop my phone and James’ paperwork into my big purple bag and shoulder it up.  James stands and pulls me to his left side.  I wrap my arm around his waist.  Castor walks on his Dad’s right side.  The two boyfriends walk behind.  In the elevator, Marcella starts digging into her purse.  Handing James a pair of sunglasses, “You’re going to want these, Dad.”

“How many?”

“About eight in front.”

CGF speaks up, “We’ve been sneaking in through the service entrance.”

“That’s where the van will be this time” Marcella says.

We exit the elevator in the basement.  The kids lead the way through the maze to the service entrance.  Creatively tucked in behind the linen service delivery truck sits the car service van.  Cali, CBF, Marcella, MBF and CGF all pile into the back rows.  I step in and turn offering a hand to James.  Castor is standing behind his Dad, a hand on his back.  James climbs in and sits next to me.  Castor takes the front passenger seat.  James grabs my hand.  I pull the sunglasses off to see his eyes.  He wraps his arm around my shoulders and sighs.

“Where to?”

“Jake, where do you suggest for breakfast?” MBF asks.

James leans his head back, “Black Bear Diner.”

Jake – the driver – looks in the rearview mirror, “I was going to suggest the Black Bear!” he grins.  After getting onto the major roads, “I’m glad that you are doing well, Mr. Hetfield.”

“Please.  James.”

Castor punches Jake’s arm, “Told you.”

Grinning, James nods “Thank you.  Jake, right?”  The driver nods.  “Thank you for taking care of my kids.”

“It’s been a pleasure.”

“I think we should check out of the hotel first” I speak up.

“Then the hotel first.”  Jake makes a turn. 

A few minutes later, the van pulls up to the hotel portico.  I hand James the sunglasses.  There are no photographers there as we quickly make our way to the elevator.  Once in the suite, James is quick to head to the bathroom.  I was surprised that the room is fairly clean.  The random jacket or shopping bag are scattered around the main room, but otherwise it is tidy.  The kids gather up their things from the rooms they’d claimed.  I check the room I’d slept in one night.  I move into the bathroom to do a check as James is washing up.  He pulls me to him, kissing me gently yet passionately.  “I have missed kissing you.”

I run my hands up his back, “I have missed being kissed by you.”  Our lips meet again.  I hear a throat being cleared.

We pull apart, looking at each other.  James lowers his head to my ear, “Later” as he lifts a knee gently between my legs.  I sigh into his chest.  Arms wrapped around each other, we leave the bathroom.  Cali is standing there with a look on her face.  “What?” James cocks a look at his daughter.  She just shakes her head walking back into the main room.

MBF has collected all the room keys and hands them to me in the elevator.  I nod my thanks.  As the kids get the bags and James into the van, I check us out.

“I do hope that you had a pleasant stay Mrs. Hetfield.”

“I’m not Mrs. Hetfield.”  The young man behind the desk blushes.  “I’m Kira Mooreland.”  He looks at me.  “The girlfriend.”  He blushes even more.  “The room was perfect.”

Clearing his throat, “Well, I do hope that you’ll stay with us again soon.”  He hands me the portfolio.  “Everything is taken care of.”

“Thank you” I smile at him.  Then I quickly join the others in the van.

It’s not a long drive to the Diner.  As Jake pulls into the parking lot, “Jake, join us for breakfast” James says.

“I’m not supp…”

“I insist.”

“I’ll park right here then.”  Jake chuckles as he pulls the van into a handicap spot.  He opens the glove box and hangs an ADA placard on the rearview mirror.  “I’m not supposed to use this.  It belongs to my mom.”

I pat his shoulder, “Well, son.  You are an excellent driver.”  Everyone chuckles as we pile out.  Castor and MBF make sure that James exits the van without being obvious about it.  I just smile and wrap an arm around James’ waist as we walk into the restaurant.

With nine of us, we are given a table in the back of the diner.  James sits me to his left side, resting his hand on my thigh.  I place a quick call to the helicopter pilot.  After placing our order, the conversation moves to the shopping that the kids had done.  Evidently, they’d hit up every mall in Denver.  Cali said that she’d found some cute maternity clothes, which Marcella heartly agrees with.  Castor and MBF talk about the music store they’d found and some of the CDs that they’d gotten.  James indicates that he’d love to hear them. 

It takes three servers to bring out our order.  Once everything is sorted, the table falls silent.  When he isn’t cutting his steak, James’ left-hand rests on my thigh.  As plates empty and tummies fill up, the conversation picks back up.  It shocks the boys that I actually like to watch football games.  And that I know – some – stats.  I sit watching James interact with his kids.  I also notice that Cali was apparently able to keep her meal down.  I just raise my eyebrows at her, looking between her plate and her eyes.  She just nods happily gently rubbing her growing belly.  CBF rests his hand on the growing bump, their fingers intertwining.  My phone pings.  The pilot is about 20 minutes out from landing at the airport.  I reply with a thumb’s up emoji.

“Ok.  That’s the pilot.  He’s about 20 minutes out” I inform the table.

“I need to hit up the bathroom” MBF declares. 

“Good idea” James says standing up slowly.  “Got a little stiff sitting” he reassures my look of concern.

Castor pats his Dad’s back, “C’mon Grandpa” grinning.

Wrapping an arm around his sons’ shoulders, “Just wait man.  Just wait” James chuckles.

The girls also head to the ladies room.  I pay the bill – leaving a good-sized tip, Jake goes out to get the van started and then I head to the bathroom.

After we all pile back into the van, Jake points the van north.  I lean into James’ bicep.  His hand gently squeezes my thigh.  Once at the airport, the pilot gets us through the gate and to the chopper.

“James, glad to see you up.  Jacobs said you looked bad.”

“I have looked better” James says pulling down his sunglasses.

“Ouch.”

“It always looks worse before it gets better” MBF chimes in.  The guys all nod.

“Ok then.  I hate to separate you two, but I want Kira in the right seat.”  Seeing the look on James’ face, “Short legs.”

“Ahh.  See?  Your short little legs do pay off every now and again.”  He pats my butt before he climbs into the chopper.

I climb in as the kids and all the various bags are situated in the back.  Once airborne, I feel fingers on my right elbow.  Seeing the tattoos, I reach back, and James’ hand engulfs mine.  It’s an awkward position to sit in the chopper with my right arm squished between the seat and the chassis.  But I don’t care.  James is coming home alive.  In one piece.  Fully functioning.  He doesn’t let go until just before the chopper comes in for a landing.  His truck is parked outside the hanger.  Shiny.  Obviously freshly washed.

“Hey, you didn’t have to wash it” I tell the pilot collecting the key fob from him.

“My kids wanted some pocket money” he shrugs.

“I remember doing that” Castor sighs walking to the vehicle.

“Me too” chorus both girls.

James goes to get in the driver’s side.  “Uh huh.  Other side” as I walk up to the vehicle.

“I’m fine” he complains.

“Dad, she’s actually a really good driver” Castor comes to my defense.  “She got us here in like 25 minutes.”  Or so he thought. 

James gives me a look. 

“I’ll pay the ticket on the truck.  You pay the ticket for the Shelby.”

James snickers a laugh, “Deal.”  He kisses my forehead.  I climb in the driver’s seat, the kids all squish into the back seat, girlfriends on boyfriends laps.  James climbs in the passenger seat.  He picks up his helmet from the floor.  He runs his fingers over the gaping gash in it. 

“Hey Dad.”

“Yes son.”

“Glad you’re home.”

Putting the helmet back on the floor, “Me too.”  Again, James’ left hand drops to my thigh.

I wave bye to the pilot and point the big ass truck toward home.  With the kids all squished into the back and no emergency looming, I obey the speed limit.  I pull the rig into the driveway and park it by the front door.  James gives me a look.  “Will you guys please shift the snowmobiles?” I ask, hitting the button on the garage door remote.  James nods as he sees that the machines are all parked in the space where the truck should go.  I look at him.  “Didn’t want to tempt those pesky squirrels to take one for a joy ride.”  A goofy grin spreads across his face.  He slides out the passenger door once the machines are moved and I put the truck into the garage.  James has gone in the house.  The kids all help to grab the bags from the back of the truck. 

I find James in the kitchen with a Severed Lime can in his hand.  “I needed that” he grins.  I can hear the kids throughout the house, chatting, laughing.  I push James towards our room.  “What?”

“Shower.”

His lets out a huge sigh, his eyes rolling some, “Yes please.”  He takes my hand as he starts walking toward our bedroom.

“Wait.”  I quickly find my purple bag and pull out the arnica oil bottle.  Holding it up as I walk back to James, I smile at him.

“I’m no Wolverine” he kisses my hair.  “You are Nurse Nightingale.”

I take his hand walking backward a couple of steps, “Perhaps it’s a combination.”

“Perhaps.”

As we get into our bathroom, starting the water in the shower we both help pull the clothes off the other.  He tugs me into the stall under the stream.  I reach up and wet his hair.  His hands are resting on the small of my back, just above my ass.  I shampoo his hair using my nails to scrub his scalp.  He sighs heavily.  I saturate his hair with conditioner as he begins to wet my hair in the hot water.  He pulls my head into his chest as he washes my hair.  I wrap one arm around his waist, the other presses on his upper back.  After putting the conditioner in my hair, I grab the scrubbie and load it with shower gel.  I detangle myself from him and turn him toward the shower wall.  He leans his crossed arms on the wall, his head resting on his forearms.  I give his back a good run over with the scrubbie.  He sighs deeply.  I do one arm and pit at a time, then one leg at a time.  Leaning into his back, I reach around and use the scrubbie on his chest and belly.  Pulling some of the soapy bubbles out of the scrubbie, I wash his butt.  Grabbing more bubbles, I reach a little deeper between his legs washing his testicles and penis.  I am careful to not arouse him.  Just wash.  I send the scrubbie over my own body quickly before rinsing and hanging it on the faucet handle.  Using my hands, I rinse his body.  Urging him to stand up, I rinse his hair.  He grabs my left wrist holding me while he turns in my arms.  He tilts my head back and rinses my hair.  His fingers wrap around the back of my neck holding me while his lips find mine.  My hands run up his back holding him close to my body.  Our kiss lingers.  It’s slow.  It’s deliberate.  It hints at the passions we will get to when he can move.  He finally stands up, his hands playing in my wet hair and over my shoulders.  His eyes search mine.  “I am so lucky to have you” he lifts my left-hand kissing both ring and finger.  “I hope that …”  I press my fingers to his lips silencing him.

I pull his left hand up and kiss the tattoo on the back of his hand, “Have I said this to you yet?”  He shakes his head.  “Then you are still working on it.”  I kiss his hand again.  “And after this little adventure” I cock a smile at him, “You have taken a step backward.  Not a big step.”  He pulls me into another kiss. 

His smile lights up his face and eyes.  “Then I will work even harder.”  He kisses my hair, turns off the water and gently letting go of me, reaches for towels.  I rub more arnica oil into the worst colored areas on his torso.

After putting on clean clothes, we walk down the stairs into the living room.  The kids are sprawled on the sofas.  Cali points to the table, “We got the mail.  Castor and CBF set out the cans.  Is this a recycle week?”  James shakes his head.  “And Marcella watered the tree.” 

“That’ll work.  Thanks” I grin.

Cocking one eyebrow up, James looks at the young people, “When did you kids become adults?”  I duck as they all throw pillows at their dad.  James laughs and tosses the pillows back.

“Let’s watch another episode!” Marcella says.  There’s agreement all around.  Getting into the media room, we all stake out our previous claims on the sofa structure.  As the system powers on there’s a pinging noise in the sound system.  Castor grabs the control pad and up pops a screen with Lars and Jess in one square, Kirk in another and Rob with Chloe leaning over his shoulder in another.

“James!” Lars almost yells.  “You need to adjust your camera.  There’s black and blue all over your face.”

“Yeah, it’s all over me” James sits up and lifts his shirt.

All on the screen flinch.  “That has to hurt” Rob says.

“It’s getting better.”

“Mind if I use that idea for next Halloween?” Kirk smiles.

“What?  Mangled Lead Singer?” James laughs.

“Naw!  He rocked so hard he bruised himself” Kirk grins crookedly.

“I like Mangled Lead Singer” CBF snorts.

“If that’s what you look like, what does your snowmobile look like?” Lars asks

“It’s kinda mangled” Castor speaks up.  “As far as I know, it’s still out in that field.”

“Reminds me, I need to get with Jacobs about lifting that out.”

“Right to the junk yard” MBF speaks up.

“That bad?” Lars asks.

“His helmet is split almost in two” I speak up.

There’s silence for a moment.  “But let’s talk the good news.  Cali, the others don’t know yet” Lars is grinning widely.

Cali blushes, she’s rubbing her belly again, “I’m making Dad a Grandpa.”

Kirk, Rob and Chloe erupt in cheers.  “How are you feeling sweetie?” Jess asks.

“Better.  I can actually eat now.”

“Morning sickness that bad?”

The media room choruses “Yes.”

“Have you played yet?” Kirk asks.

“Man, I just got home.  Give me minute!” James chuckles.  “How was you guyses holiday?”

“Compared to yours, dull.” Kirk deadpans.  There’s some giggling. 

The kids talk about their gifts and their adventures in Denver.  Chloe and Cali get into a discussion about pottery.  Lars very obviously yawns.  A pillow smacks him.  There’s more giggling.  Castor asks Lars and Rob about their boys’ bands with the answers being lots of touring coming up in the spring.

“Well, we’re gonna let you guys go now” Lars says.  “James, glad you are alive and at home.”

“Me too buddy.”  I see the look on James’ face of compassion towards the small Dane.  “Happy New Year!” James says.  The rest of us all say it at the same time.  There’s more giggling.

Kirk and Rob exit the call, Lars looks into the camera, “I’ll call you next week James.  I have some ideas cooking” as he points to his head.

“I look forward to it.”  The call ends.

The room is silent a moment, then Castor starts tapping on the control pad, “Where did we leave off?”

Three episodes of Stranger Things later James announces, “I gotta piss.”

Everyone departs the media room for either a bathroom or the kitchen.  Cali and Marcella kick everyone out of the kitchen – including me – saying they got it.  Fifteen minutes later they are yelling for the boys to come help.  They all return with plates.  Each plate has a pulled pork sandwich with mashed potatoes and green beans.  Napkins, silverware and Liquid Death cans are passed around.  MBF starts the next episode. 

James yawns when that episode ends.  “Kids, I’m sorry but I’m toast.”

“Completely understand”   “No worries Dad”   “Glad you’re home Dad”   “Hope you get a good night’s sleep in your own bed”   all come at once.

James slides off the sofa, turns to grab his plate.  “Leave that Dad.  We’ll get it” Cali smiles, rubbing her belly.

“Thanks Cali.”  He takes my hand, “Night kids.”

Almost in unison “Night Dad.”

“Good night everyone.  And thanks for all your help” I grin at the kids.  Cali stands and gives me a hug.

James is waiting for me by the door.  We wrap arms around each other and walk to our bedroom.  As he’s brushing his teeth, I put more arnica on him.  Then quickly brush mine.  James is already in bed.  He holds up the covers for me.  I slide between them only to have James snake an arm around me and pull me close.  “I have missed you” he whispers. 

I kiss his arm, “I have missed you.”

Moments later, we are both snoring softly.

Rockies Christmas - Day 11

Warnings:  Hospital stay, Shameless Product Placement, Fluff – I guess

Guide: CBF = Cali’s Boyfriend / CGF = Castor’s Girlfriend / MBF = Marcella’s Boyfriend {I didn’t want to give them names}

It’s still very dark out the window.  Damn but hospital beds suck.  Especially when you’re sharing one.  But I would not have slept anywhere else.  Still cradled in James’ arm.  His bruised body next to mine.  His face, a little less swollen.  Remembering his split helmet still in his truck, I shudder.  This could have been so different.  I try to detangle myself, but James tugs me gently.  “James, I gotta pee.”

He grunts softly.  “I could piss too.”

“Well, let go of me and I’ll help you.”  I kiss his chest.

“mmmmk”

I climb out of the bed, retrieve the bottle and put it in place.  “Ready when you are.”

“Fire!” he smirks.

I put the gown back and flip the covers back up over him when he’s done.  I quickly make it into the bathroom.  When I’m done and washed – leaving the bottle under the sink – I retake my spot next to him.  His arm pulls me closer.  My eyes close.

I blink awake to the room filled with bright sunshine to find the nurse and doctor in the room.  “I suppose I should move, huh?”

“It would make checking the patient a little easier” the doctor laughs gently.

I slide out of the bed and step out of the way.

The doctor gives James a thorough go over, including rolling him to the side to inspect his back.  The nurse whispers into my ear, “Has he had a bowel movement yet?”

“Not yet.”  I look at her, “Should he have?”  She nods.  “Find me a tool catalog.”  I get a look.  “Trust me on this” I grin back.

“Ok.”  She is obviously thinking, “This might take a bit.”

“Check with the maintenance guys.”

She nods, “Yes!  Great idea!”

“What’s a great idea?” James asks as he rolls gently to his back.

The doctor pats his stomach, “You pooping.”  He totally deadpans it.

I snort softly and James laughs.  Not hard, but enough.  He toots.

“That’s a start!” the doctor smiles.   Reaching for the IV lines, “I understand that you know how these work.  Let’s pop the line off for now and see how you do.”  He removes the IV lines, hanging them from the IV bag holder.  “Leave these in” he instructs as he tapes the ports to James’ arms.  “Before I go, let’s make sure you can stand.  Using a bedpan is the worst.”  Looking at me, “Do you think you can help him?”

“I’m gonna try” as I move to the bed.

James flips the covers back and I help him get his feet untangled from the sheet.  He stands holding tightly on to the bed.  Right leg is good.  Left leg, not really happy.  I move to that side, wrapping my arm around his waist and put his arm around my shoulder, “Lean” I say.  It takes us a bit, but we get into the bathroom.

Grabbing the ADA rails, James sinks on to the toilet, “Might as well try to go while I’m in here.”

“Want me to leave?”

“You’re not gonna want to be trapped in here” as he toots again.

“I’ll get some spray” I smile exiting and closing the door.  The nurse is right there with a can, smiling.  “Thanks!”  Looking at the bathroom door, “Can I please get a second gown for him?”  She nods and disappears out the door.   Looking at the bed, it’s already been changed.  The new sheets and blankets flipped back waiting for James.  The nurse returns with the second gown.  “Thank you.”

“You’re very welcome.”  She pats my shoulder, “At least he’s not being super demanding.  There was a movie star in here that was just a pain!”  She grins at me.  “You got him from here?”  I can hear beeping down the hallway.

“Yeah, I’m good.”  She leaves.  I hear the toilet flush.  Then the sink running.  I crack the door open and spritz the can into the room and close the door.  I can hear him laugh.  Opening the door, he’s leaning on the sink, the hospital gown open in the back.  His bum fully exposed.  “That’s a sight!”  He wiggles it grinning at me through the mirror.  I see the bruises on his back.  “Can you stand a minute more?  I want to put arnica on these.”

“Actually, it feels good to stand.”

I quickly find the bottle and tenderly rub some of the oil into his back, hip and the back of his thigh.  Bending over, I get his shin.  He rests his hand on my lower back, “If I felt better…”

I stand up looking into his wicked grin, “Soon” as I gently rub his penis through the thin fabric.  He groans softly.

“Where are you, Dad?”

“Here, let’s get this on you.”  I pull the second gown on him with the closure in the front covering up his bare ass.  “Be right out!”

I open the door and the kids are all there.  James leans on me to get out of the bathroom.  Castor smacks CBF on the arm.  “Here let us” Castor takes his dad’s arm from me, “We’re a little better height wise.”

“Thanks son.”  James is slow but getting more confident with his left knee.  “Would you mind if we walk the hallway a bit?”

“Not at all Mr. Hetfield.”

James stops and looks CBF, “Call me James.  You are officially part of this family now.”

Cali giggles, “Told you!”

James starts walking, “Forward into the hallway!”

“Isn’t that forward into battle, Dad?” Marcella asks.

“Technically yes, but I am not quite ready for battle” James smirks back.

“I’m going to let you kids take this round.  I want to freshen up some.”

Cali grabs my purple bag and hands it to me.  “I thought you’d like to change clothes.”

I grab her upper arms, “Thank you!” I say a little over dramatically.  She chuckles and follows the others.  I step into the bathroom and close the door.  Grandmother would call what I do a whore’s bath: wet soapy washcloth on the major points.  Face, Pits, Crotch.  In that order.  Then rinsing the cloth out, a wipe down.  Granted, not a full shower, but I do feel better.  I pull on the extra cloths from the bag and stuff the dirties in.  I use the brush quickly on my hair and redo my ponytail.  I’m exiting the bathroom when the little parade re-enters the room, the nurse trailing them in.

James sinks into the bed.  The nurse helps him get his legs under the covers.  Seeing his face a little pale, she says “I think you’re going to want this back.”  She pulls the IV line and reattaches it to the port.  She tapes it securely in place.  “I’ll make it a slow drip.  If you need more, well…” she smiles knowingly at James.  Turning to me, “I’ll check in again later.”  I smile my thanks.

“Hey Dad, what do you want for lunch?”

James lets his head fall back, “A Hopdoddy Bacon Classic!”

“Ahh yes!!  I was hoping you’d say that!” Castor’s face lights up.  “Fries?”

“Both.”

Turning to me, “What would you like?” Castor asks me.  I shrug. 

“Get Kira the Doddy Melt, hold the Comeback sauce on a regular bun.  Or sourdough if they have it.”  James smiles at me, “You’ll love it.”

“Shake?” Castor’s grin is wide.

“Two regular Salted Caramels, please” James is almost drooling.

I dig into my bag, find my wallet and pull out some cash.  I hand it to Cali, “Use this.”

“That’s way too much!”

“What?  You guys aren’t going to eat?”  She smirks at me.  “So, bring me the change.”  I smile back at her.  “And that should cover transportation too.”

“We’ve been using the car service.”  CGF suddenly looks like she said something wrong.

“That’s fine” James grins from the bed.  “Probably cheaper than taxis anyway.  And you’re all in one vehicle.”  There’s a chorus of yeahs and yeses as the kids head to the door.

“Hey!  Don’t forget lots of napkins!” I call out.

“Got it!” comes a couple of responses.

James pats the bed.  I find the bottle of arnica, “This first.”  I pull up the hospital gowns to get to his torso.  I tenderly rub the oil over all the purple spots.  They look horrid.  I gently pull the gowns down and put some on his arm. 

James has closed his eyes.  “That feels good” he rumbles softly.

Wiping off my hands, “The pain meds have kicked in, huh?”

“Not yet.  Just your fingers on my skin feel really good.”  He lifts his head and looks at me.  “When I was in ICU, I had the worst mental image.  Me paralyzed from the neck down.  Not being able to ever feel you again.  Or hold you.”  He scrubs away the tears before they can even fall.

I sit on the bed facing him.  “I cried in the shower that night.”  My hand resting on his belly.  “I take that back.  I sobbed.  I’d spent the helicopter flight in with my own mental images.  The worst was that you’d end up living the horror of your own song.”  I let my tears fall.

“I’m so sorry about all this…”

“James” I cut him off.  “We could have spun out or hit black ice in the Shelby.”  I rub his belly.  “It wasn’t our time then.  This” I wave my hand over his body “isn’t your time either.  The kids have assured everyone who will listen that you weren’t showboating when this happened.  They said that you’d gone to investigate new snow, that your machine started to sink in that snow, so you powered it up some.  And that’s when you turtled.”  I watch James’ face as he nods.  “Castor says that your snowmobile is completely trashed.”

“I wouldn’t be surprised.  But my machine didn’t sink.  I hit something.”

“I saw your helmet, James.”  More tears leave trails down my cheeks.  “If you’d not been wearing it, we’d be planning your funeral.”

He blanches some, “That bad?”

“James.  I wasn’t joking when I said it’s been split in two.  From here” I point to my hairline “to here” my hand stops just past the crown of my head.

He scrubs away another tear.  “Someone upstairs was looking out for me.”  He grabs my hand, “Again.”

I grin, “Being a Leo, you have now used 4 lives.  Please don’t use anymore!”  My fingers trace the flames tattooed there.  I look into his face.  “It wasn’t your time.  You have a grandchild that you need to meet.” 

His head falls back, “I still can’t believe that I’m going to be a Grandpa!”  He looks at me, “So what will that make you?”

“GG” I shrug.  His eyebrows knit together, “Grandpa’s Girlfriend.  What else?” I smirk at him.  He tugs my arm.  I take the hint and lean up over him, planting a deep kiss on him.  I heave a sigh as we pull apart.

“What?”

“I haven’t kissed you in two days.”

He pulls me in for another kiss.  After, “Then we have some kissing to make up on.”

I kiss the end of his nose, “Not here.”  His eyebrows furrow together.  “Because that kind of kissing leads to … well … other activities” as I raise an eyebrow wantonly.

He nods.  “Yeah, this bed is not big enough for those.”

“This bed is barely big enough for you!”  I giggle, turn around and lay down next to him.  He grabs the TV controller and finds the news.  I am rather surprised that he actually watches the whole program.  I rock my head back to look up at him.  “Making sure that I’m not page six” he grins.

“Ahhh” I say, snuggling in a little closer. 

He scrolls to the movie offerings.  We find one that is fairly long and start it.  His fingers play with my ponytail.  The movie is about a quarter through when the kids come waltzing back into the room.

Our burgers are handed out.  James sits on the bed, and we share the bed table.  The boys sit on the floor.  Mine is delicious.  James giggles watching me take my first bite.  The milkshake is thick and creamy with lots of caramel.

“We made a second stop.”  Cali pulls out a box.

James’ eyes fly wide open, “Dirty Islander!”

Grinning, “Yeah, we had to get a couple of these for you!”  She pulls out two rather large cookies that look like James’ eye.  “Black Eye Concussion cookies!”  The room erupts in laughter.  James laughs the hardest, holding his ribs.  Cali points to a couple of others, “These are mine.”

“What are they?” I ask.

“They’re called Mum I’m Preggo!”  Again, the room erupts in laughter.

I pass on the cookies – for the time being – as I still have half a shake left.  I sit and watch the kids and James interact.  He is most decidedly getting better.

The burger wrappers were gathered up and tossed out.  The boys take James for another hallway run.  Cali approaches me, “Kira?”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you.”  She was almost in tears.  I gently pull her into a hug.  “I’m sure these are just the hormones” as she scrubs her eyes, “but I wanted to say thank you for everything.  You were so calm.”

“I guess I got that from my Grandmother.  I don’t think I ever saw her lose her cool.  She always told me that to panic is to lose time and to lose time could be very bad.”

Nodding, “I hope I can be that cool.”  She rubs her belly.

“I hope you never have to.”  I hug her again.

I can hear the boys coming back down the hallway laughing.  Evidently James has been in bad dad joke heaven with the boyfriends, as Castor keeps groaning loudly.  They enter the room and James is walking without help.  A nurse is following.

“Now, don’t you overdo!” the nurse scolds him.

“Naw, he’s just showing off” Castor grins.

James sinks onto the bed, “Yeah, I was that time.”

“All right kiddoes, the adults need nap time” the nurse says with a wink at me and a smile for the others.  “Oh!  Dirty Islander!  May I?”

James motions towards the box, “Please.  But check with Cali which ones are hers.”  The nurse gives James a questioning look.  “She’s pregnant” he dramatically whispers.

The nurse looks around.  Marcella and Castor point to their sister.  “You look great!”  Cali blushes and rubs her belly.  “Now, which ones are yours sweetie?”  The nurse picks out a cookie, “Now out.  All of you kids, out.”

There is a chorus of Byes as they are hustled out the door.  Munching on her cookie, the nurse nods her thanks.  James finishes getting back into the bed.  He pats the bed on his right side.  I grab the extra blanket and climb in next to him, his arm pulls me close.  He heaves a sigh.

“You good?” I look into his face.

“Yeah.  Actually I am.”  He sniffs a laugh, “I still can’t believe that Cali is pregnant.  That I’m going to be a Grandpa.”

I stroke his stubbly cheek, “Well.  Ya are.  Mighty Grandpa Het.”

He snorts a laugh, “That doesn’t work!  I’ll have to come up with something new!”  He tightens his arm around me.  I grab the tv controller and we pick a movie.  He’s gently snoring about halfway through.  I heave a sigh and snuggle up closer.

I feel James shifting.  “You ok?”

“Gotta go.”

I unwrap my arms from him, push him vertical, “You got this?”

Nodding, “Yeah, I think I’m good.”  He grabs the IV bag and closes the bathroom door behind him.  I am scrolling through the movie selection when I hear the toilet flush.  Then water running.  James closes the door behind him, “You’ll want to give that a bit.”  He re-hangs the bag and sits on the bed.

I move up the bed and gently tug his shoulders, “Here.”  He rolls into me on his right side, his right arm sliding under my shoulders, his left arm with the IV port drapes over my ribs, his head on my shoulder, his nose against my neck.  My left arm wraps around his head, cradling it, my fingers softly playing with his silvered locks.  I start another movie.  I feel him sag into sleep.  Part way through, I get a text from Castor asking if we need dinner.  I send him the snoring emoji and say thanks anyway.

I watch all of this movie.  James’ breathing is steady.  His fingers on my ribs twitch.  He’s probably writing a song in his sleep.  At least I hope that’s what he’s doing.  I smile and kiss his hairline.  The nurse comes in to check on James.  Seeing that he’s asleep, she takes what vitals she can without waking him.  She pulls the IV line from the port, taping the port in place.  Giving me the thumbs up, she departs the room, closing the door behind her.  My left fingers gently rub his scalp.  After starting another movie to kill the sounds of the hospital, I lay my right hand over his left arm draped over my ribs.  I don’t remember my eyes closing.

Rockies Christmas - Day 10

Warnings: Some angst, Hospital stay, Shameless product placement

Guide: CBF = Cali’s Boyfriend / CGF = Castor’s Girlfriend / MBF = Marcella’s Boyfriend {I didn’t want to give them names}

A hand on my shoulder is gently shaking me, “Kira.”  It’s a hand much smaller than James’.  “Kira.”

I roll over scrubbing my eyes, “mmmyeah.”  I look up and there stands Cali.

“It’s six fifteen.  Thought you’d like some breakfast before going to see Dad.”

Yesterday slams into my brain.  “Thanks.  I’ll be out in a minute.”  She nods, smiling softly, and closes the door on her way out.  I swim to the side of the massive bed.  Scrubbing my eyes again, I get up and go to the bathroom.  After flushing, I wash my hands and splash water on my face.  I change clothes quickly back into what I’d worn yesterday.  Returning to the bedroom, I pull out my brush, do a quick raking on my hair and bun it up again as I open the door.

Timothy is there with a couple large bags from McDonald’s.  I just huff a smile.  Cali comes up to me, “We may have ordered too much.”  There’s concern in her eyes.

“We’ll leave a note for the cleaning staff.  They’ll appreciate it” I console her.  Finding an Egg McMuffin, I pull out a chair and sit.

“What do you want to drink?” Cali asks.

“Oh wait!” Timothy speaks up.  “Jordan told me.  Here.”  He hands me a SB cup.

I chug part of it.  “Bless you both!”  I hear a phone ringing in my room.  I quickly find that it’s mine.  “Hi Lars.”  I walk back out to the table.

“Hey.  How you holding up?”

Sighing, “I’ve been better.  Sorry for the crappy Birthday present yesterday.”

“Hey, that wasn’t on you!” Lars laughs.  “I just talked to him.  He sounds tired but good.”

“Who can sleep good in a hospital?”  I hear the Dane laugh.  “We’re just getting ready to go see him.”  Cali is bouncing, “Hey Lars, Cali wants to talk to you.”

“Put her on.”

“Hi Onkel Lars!” as she hits speaker.  “Is Auntie Jess there too?”

“Yeah, so are the boys.”  A chorus of Hi’s from the background.

“Uhm.  You’re going to be Store Onkel Lars.”

“Say what?” Lars’ voice says.

“Onkel Lars, I’m pregnant.”

“You’re making James … a Grandfather?!” there is happy cheering in the background.

The room on this side of the pond erupts in laughter.  “Yes.”

“Well, it’s about time one of you did!” he laughs.  “I’m … we’re very happy for you!!”

Cali hands the phone back to me.  I take it off speaker.  “Hey Lars.”

“Hey.  Tell that lunkhead to stop showboating.”

“The kids say that he wasn’t showboating.”

“Please tell me he was wearing a helmet.”

“Yes.”

“Thank god.”  I hear him chew on his toothpick.  “Ok, Jess is excited, she wants to go baby shopping for Cali.”

“Hey, I really hope that you did have a good day yesterday.”

I can almost see him nodding, “I did.  Until that lunkhead of yours took a spill!  But I’m grateful he’s going to be ok.”

“Oh!  So now he’s my lunkhead!”

“This time yes!” Lars laughs.

“I don’t know if the others know.”

“I’ll call them.  Kira, it’s all good.”

“Thanks Lars.  I’ll keep you posted.”

“Please do.  Farvel!”  He ends the call.

I chug more of my coffee and finish the sandwich.

Castor stands up and starts clearing away the garbage.  “Let’s get this show on the road.”

Cali finds a pen and paper and leaves a note for the cleaning staff.

I look up the number for the car service.  “The van will be downstairs in ten.”  That put a hustle in everyone.  Shirts are changed, coats grabbed, last bites of breakfast taken, shoes found and put on feet.  Grabbing both phones, my wallet and my jacket along with a key card, we all pile into the elevator.  Shortly after we get to the lobby the van arrives.  Same driver as the night before.  Piling in, I watch the Christmas decorations go by on the drive to the hospital.  The same ones that I’d been happy to see just a few days ago with James at my side.  Getting to the hospital, I lead the way to the nurses’ station.  After getting his room number, we make our way to the floor.  The elevator doors open and there stands the doctor.

“Wow, you are punctual” he smiles.  “He’s actually awake.  But please, don’t over tax him.”  Motioning with his hand, “This way.”  As we get to the door, he puts a hand on my arm as the kids all enter the room, “This might be a little much for him.”

“I’ll kick them out soon, but I’m not going to deny him his kids.”

The doctor nods as he walks away.

I enter the room.  There’s one IV bag hung and a heart monitor beeping.  The kids have all taken up space around the bed.  I can’t see him.  I can hear him.  Lars was right.  James sounds exhausted.  I wait patiently.  They are chattering about the hotel suite.  The helicopter ride.  That the other machines got back home ok.

“Is Kira here?” comes James’ voice.  Castor looks over his shoulder at me.  He steps aside.  James is pale but alive.  He looks like he’s been in the boxing ring with George Foreman.  The whole left side of his face is bruised.  That eye a little swollen.  He’s holding a cold pack in his right hand which looks a little puffy.  But those eyes.  Those big glacier blue eyes.  They are perfect.

“I’m here.”  He smiles and reaches out for my hand.  I take his left hand with my right.

Cali speaks up, “Hey, let’s go do some after Christmas sales shopping.”

“Then maybe hit up a movie” Marcella pitches in.

They all bid us goodbye and tumble out the door.  Then it’s quiet and just us.

“Hey” he says, his eyelids dropping.

“Hey.”

He tugs me, “Come here.”

I climb into bed beside him, making sure that all the tubes and wires are not being pinched, and stretch out beside him, my head cradled on his left shoulder.  His hand rests on my hip.

He looks at me, “I’m sorry.”

I press my fingers to his lips, “You didn’t do anything wrong.  The kids have assured everyone that you were not showboating.”  He barely shakes his head.  “I’m just grateful that you were wearing your helmet.”

“That bad?”

I lift my head up, “James.  It’s split in two.”

He sniffs out a smile, “Explains why my head hurts.”

I caress his chin, “Sleep.”

He snugs me in closer to him, “Ok.”

My eyes close shortly after his.

I hear the nurses coming in and checking monitors.  I hear other machines beeping down the hallway.  I hear his heartbeat in my ear.  I feel his hand resting on my hip.  I say a prayer and thank those in the great upstairs for watching over him.  I feel the tear leak from my closed eye warm my cheek before warming the hospital gown covering James.  I have no idea what time it is when my eyes finally crack open.  James’ hand is playing with my fingers resting on his chest.  I rock my head back.  His eyes slit open.  “Hey.”  I smile up at him.

“This bed sucks.”

I pat his chest, “Most hospital beds do.”  I wiggle a little.  He winces.  “I’m not hurting you, am I?”

“Right now, everything hurts.”  He tightens his arm around my back.  “But, I do gotta piss.”

Snorfelling at him, I detangle myself from him, the wires, tubing and slide from the bed. 

A nurse walks in, “Ah.  You’re awake.”

“And I gotta piss.”

“Here, let me pop these off.  That will make it easier.”  She pops off all the heart monitor leads. 

He swings his legs off the bed, the sheet still wrapped around his legs and slowly stands.  Then sits quickly grabbing his left knee with a wince.  I lift his gown.  His left leg from mid shin to almost waist is black and blue.

“I think I know where the snowmobile landed on me” he grimaces.

The nurse hands over a plastic urinal bottle, “Use this right now.  I need to get your doctor in here.”

I help James get lined up in the bottle.  His head leans onto my shoulder.  I hear his pee hitting the plastic container.  He heaves a sigh.

“Better?”

“mmmmhmmm.”  He’s still leaning into me.  I lift his gown and remove the urinal.  Closing its lid, I set it on the floor.  Then I help him shift back into the bed.  I move the urinal into the bathroom by the toilet and wash my hands.

The doctor comes in the room as I exit the bathroom.  The doctor flips back the covers and hoists the hospital gown.  James’ left leg, hip and part of his torso look like a Jackson Pollock painting done in blues, purples and flesh tones.  The doctor runs his hands over the area watching James’ face.  “I know that you were seriously burned, but don’t let that pain tolerance hide if these hurt” the doctors’ words are kind.

“It hurts” is all James says.

“I don’t really want to give you a narcotic pain med.”  He pulls the covers back over James’ body.  The nurse reattaches the leads.

“Please don’t.”

“Okay.  I’m going to give you a high dose of naproxen.  But to do that, you’ll need to stay another night.”

James just nods.

“I would highly recommend that you” he looks at me, “sleep on his other side.”

“Alright.”

He writes up the order and hands it to the nurse.  As he walks out, “You both should have a sleep study done.”

We both just look at each other.  He looks at me.  “I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“For being a pain.”

“Turn around is fair game.”  He looks at me.  “Halloween?” I grin.

“Yeah, but you didn’t end up in the hospital.”

“True.  But I didn’t have a five hundred pound snowmobile land on me.”

“Seven hundred, but I concede the point.”  I look at him.

“What?  Dad concedes a point?” Castor says coming in the door grinning.  The other kids follow in.

They start talking about the bargains they’d found.  The movie that they went to see.

“Hey Dad” Marcella pipes up.  “We brought you two a late lunch.”

“Oh yeah” CGF pulls out a bag from her backpack.  The smell fills the room.  MBF closes the door.

“I know that Dad wants the meatball sub,” Cali says.  “I hope you’ll like the turkey one.”

“Thank you.”  I take the offered sandwich.  “This is huge!”

“Castor will finish whatever you don’t” says CGF.  “And something to wash them down.”  She pulls out a pair of Severed Lime cans.

James almost inhales his sub.  “Gee Dad, you weren’t hungry at all!” Castor teases him.

“Nope.”  James lets out a huge burp.  “Not at all.”  I smile at him as he looks at me.

The nurse comes in with a new IV bag loaded with the pain meds.  “Oh good, you’ve eaten.  This med might have upset your stomach without food.”  She quickly changes out the bags.  “Uhm, where is the…?” she looks at me.  I point to the bathroom.  “Thanks.  I’ll collect it later.”  She walks to the door, “Those really smell good!” as she leaves.

“You kids aren’t eating” James says.

“We ate there” MBF says.  “We thought that you two might be hungry and hospital food is horrid.”

“Yes, it is.  Almost as bad as the beds.”  James tries to shift some and winces.

“You need to move up the bed?” I ask.  He just nods.  “Castor, MBF will you two please help?  Grab under the arms.  Now.”  They pull James a good six inches up on the mattress while I hold the bottom sheet from sliding with him.  His eyes close for a minute.  I rest my hand on his chest.  He rests his hand over mine and opens his eyes.  I can tell he’s ready to drift back to sleep.

CGF speaks up, “I think we need to let him rest.”  She wraps an arm around Castor’s waist, “C’mon.”

Cali whispers to me, “You staying?”  I just nod.  Cali smiles at me, then leans over and kisses her Dad on the cheek.  “See ya later – Grandpa!”

He smiles and his eyes brighten some, “See you later little Mama.”

As the kids file out, I hand Castor the rest of my sub.  He smiles at me, his eyes lighting up.  Damn.  He has his Daddy’s eyes.

Once the door is closed, James pats the bed on his right side.  I climb in, again making sure that I’m not on any wires or tubes.  His hand curls around my head, playing with my bun.  I reach up and pull off the hair tie.  His fingers snarl into my hair, caressing my scalp.  Those fingers in my hair slow.  Then stop.  I grab the TV controller and start a long movie.  The nurse comes in a couple of times to check the IV flow.  She also collects the full – and leaves an empty – plastic urinal bottle.  She smiles at me each time.  The movie ends and I start another.  James shifts some in his sleep, groaning softly.  The next time the nurse comes in, I ask her quietly about using arnica oil on James.  She lifts her eyebrows and just as quietly says that she’ll ask his doctor.  About an hour later she comes back with a bottle and a towel.  She hands me the bottle and lays the towel over my hip.  “I guess you know how to use this.”  I just nod.  Memories of various aftermaths of being in bed with James flow through my brain.  I gently work the oil into the bruises on his body.  I can’t quite reach his leg, but the worst part on his hip and torso I am able to rub the oil in.  Again, I start another movie.  It’s getting dark out.  The nurse comes in again, this time changing the IV bags.  James shifts in his sleep while she’s there.  He again moans softly.  She pulls up his chart on the computer and makes notes.  She smiles at me as she leaves the room.  I hear my phone buzz.  It’s Cali.  She’s asking for an update on James.  I send her the snoring emoji.  She replies with a thumbs up.  About eleven, James wakes.  Sorta.

“I gotta piss.”

“Hang on.”  I climb out of bed, grab the urinal and put in place.  “Let ‘er rip” I say. 

He smiles at me, “I could get used to this.”

As he finishes, I cap the bottle, “Yeah, I don’t think so.”  I put the bottle in the bathroom, wash my hands and climb back in bed.  He’s already half asleep.

“Thanks for staying with me” he mumbles.

“I wouldn’t have it any other way” I kiss his chin.

His grin slowly slips as he surrenders to sleep again.  I curl up against him.  The nurse comes in again to check the IV.  She leaves and returns with a blanket for me.  “See you tomorrow” she says kindly before leaving the room.  I pull the blanket up over me, my head on his chest, my eyes close.

I will happily take whatever this man offers......

Rockies Christmas - Day 9

Warnings:  Happy Birthday Lars!, Snowmobile use, Severe accident (no one dies), Severe Angst

There’s a buzzing noise in the room.  I feel James shift, his hand slapping around on his nightstand.  The buzzing stops, but his phone is powered on.  The light from the screen seems exceedingly bright in the dark room.  Then it’s on speaker mode and ringing.

“Jah?”

James in full voice sings Happy Birthday to Lars.

“Thanks, you inconsiderate bastard!”

“Hey, I’m not the one who decided to be born the day after Christmas in Denmark!”

I love to hear these two rib each other lovingly.

I can also hear that James is not really awake.  He ends the call without telling Lars about the biggest news of the day.  He sets his phone down on his bedside table, snakes his arms around me and we are both back to sleep.

The smell of coffee wakes us.  I untangle myself from James, kissing his forehead in the process, and head to the bathroom.  He’s still face down in the pillows when I come out.  Grabbing a clean pair of leggings and a t-shirt, I get dressed.  Grabbing a clean sweater, I smack the covers over James’ legs.  “C’mon Grandpa!  Wake up!”

James rolls over, “Oh yeah!”  He slides from the bed, uses the bathroom and gets dressed while I make up the bed and toss the dirties into the hamper.

Getting into the kitchen, the three girls are cooking.  “Dad, we used some of the roast to make breakfast tacos.”

“That’s fine and smells great!” James smiles. 

Looking out the window, it has stopped snowing, and the sun is trying to shine through the clouds scudding across the sky.

CBF comes from the living room with the tree pitcher, “Where does this go?”  Both Cali and Marcella point to the end of the counter.

James makes our coffees, and we take them to the kitchen table.  A few minutes later, we are served breakfast tacos.  Basically, breakfast burritos just in smaller tortillas.  And a little messier.  But they are really good.  The three boys start grabbing plates.  “They cooked, we clean up” CBF says.

“Hey Dad, can we take out the snowmobiles?” Castor asks.

“They haven’t been used in a couple of years.  They’ll need some work first.”

MBF speaks up, “I’ve worked on engines before.  I’ll be happy to help.”

Nodding, James stands up, “Then let’s get out to the shed.”  The four men leave through the garage.  I hear, “Damn!  Nice Shelby!” as the door closes.  I can only giggle and imagine the looks on the boys’ faces when James tells them it’s mine.

The kitchen is clean and tidy.  “I hate to do this” as I pull out the big mixer.  “But I’m going to make another mess.”

I put together the batter for something Grandmother called Date Nut Bread.  I get it into the oven.  I may have over done again as I doubled the recipe.  The girls all sit at the counter watching.  We talk about a lot of things from fashion to hit songs on the radio to hairstyles.

I can hear the snowmobile engines being turned on and off in the background.

“How did you meet Dad?” Marcella asks.

“It was a blind date.”  I get looks from his daughters.  “Derek, one of the editors I work with knows someone on your Dad’s crew.  Derek wanted me to go to a car show, but it was a charity event and I would need a date.  Derek was taking his own girlfriend.  Sooo, I needed a plus one.”  Checking the timer, “Derek reached out to Martin and called in a favor.”

“I think I remember a Martin.  Short guy?”  I nod.  “Bald?”  I nod again.  “He’s a nice guy.”

CGF asks, “You like cars?”

“And football.”

“Jets or Giants?” Cali asks.

“Seattle Seahawks.”  That got me some looks.  “Blame my college roommate.  She’s from Seattle.”

The garage door opens and James walks in carrying a red helmet wearing a heavy snowsuit.  “Whose going?” 

Both Marcella and CGF speak up. 

“Marcella, can you please show CGF where the big snow suits are?”

“Sure!  C’mon!”  The two women leave.

James looks at Cali.  “How you doing this morning?”

“Better” she smiles at her Dad.  “The rolls that Kira made don’t make me want to puke every ten minutes.”

“That’s good news!  I’m glad you both are feeling better!”  He wraps an arm around me, “Wanna go?”  He’s got the huge cheshire cat grin smeared on his face.

“No, I’ll stay here.  I have Date Nut Bread in the oven.”  I smile up at James, “Go have fun!”

He kisses me, “We’ll be back before sunset.”  He smacks my ass as he walks towards the garage.

“How much longer on this date bread nut stuff?”

I huff out a laugh, “Date Nut Bread.  It’s almost done.”

“It smells really good!  Thanks again for showing me about the baking soda.”

“You’re welcome.”  The timer dings and I test, then pull out the pans.   The snowmobiles roar down the driveway.

We talk about how she met her boyfriend.  How she and her siblings got along as kids.  How it was tough being the oldest daughter of a megarocksuperstargod.  I slice a piece of the bread for Cali.  She nibbles.  “Dis ish wrewwy good!”

“I hope you both like it!” I grin. "It's better with cream cheese on it."

My ears pick up an engine.  A single engine.  I look at Cali then I run to the front door.  There’s CGF.  Alone.  Her machine stops just before the front steps and she yanks off her helmet.  “Castor gave me this” as she pulls his phone from her snowsuit.  She puts in the passcode.  There on the screen:  Use house phone.  Jacobs 439-555-2122  Coordinates:  yadda yadda..  Dad’s unconscious.

I wrap my arm around her and pull her into the house, “How long did it take you to get here?” I calmly ask.

“Twenty minutes, I think.”

Grabbing the phone in the kitchen, I dial the number.

It’s answered, “Hi James!”

“This is Kira.”

“Who?”

“The new girlfriend.  James is down.  I have coordinates.”

“Give them to me.  What happened.”

I give him the coordinates and hand the house phone over to CGF, “Just tell him exactly what you saw.”

“We’d been in a field.  James said that he was going to check out the sides of the field.  He wasn’t going really fast.  The next thing … his snowmobile rears up and over and James is under it.”

Cali’s grabbing my arm.  Tightly.  CGF hands the phone back to me.  “Ok.  They are out there.  I’ll get the chopper in the air right now.  The others will have to ride their machines back.  I can’t take them with me.”

“I understand.  Where will you take him?”

“Denver, Swedish.  I’ll call this number when I have him onboard.”

“Thanks.”  The call ends.  I dig out my phone and call the bands travel agent, “Jordan?”

“Hey!”

“James is hurt.  He’s being airlifted to Denver.  I’m going to need a chopper for seven soon.”

“What happened?”

“All I know right now is that he’s unconscious.  There’s a medivac chopper headed out to collect him.”

“Hold the line.”

The three of us girls look at each other as a helicopter zooms over the house.

“Ok.  The Eagle county airport.  Call the number I just texted" my phone vibrates "to you when you leave the house.”

“It’s gonna take about 30 minutes for the kids to get back to the house.”

“Kira, just call that number.  There’s a chopper on standby for you.  Do you want me to call anyone?”

I heave a sigh, “I guess Lars.”

“Will do.”

“This is a fuck of a present.”

“Oh shit.  It is his birthday.”

“Maybe Pete first?”

“Good idea.  You have my number if you need anything.” 

“Thanks.”

That call ends.  I look at the two young women in front of me.  “We need to get some things pulled together.  As soon as the others get back, we’re leaving.  CGF, go get out of those wet clothes.  Toss some dry clothes into a backpack for Castor.  Cali, can you put together some clothes for the others?”

“On it.”  She turns, then stops, “How are you so calm?”

I smile at her, “You can’t hear my heartbeat.”  Nodding, “Let’s go ladies.”  I dash into our bedroom and pull on jeans, a bra and a thermal shirt.  I grab another pair of sweats and shirt and stuf them into the bag.  A run through the bathroom, I grab a hairbrush.  Returning to the kitchen, I grab a handful of granola bars and toss those into the big purple bag.  I pull my wallet from my purse on the counter, along with both our phones and add those to the purple bag.  “Shoes” I mumble to myself.  Going to the garage door, I pull on my mukluks.  I also grab our coats.  Just as I return to the kitchen, the house phone rings.

“Yes?” My voice much louder than I wanted.

“I’m airborne.  The others are on the way back.  He’s still out.”

“Thanks.  Fly safe.”

“Thanks.”  The call ends.

Cali and CGF are standing there.  “The others are on the way back.  James is still unconscious.”  I look at both of them, “This will be the hardest part.  Waiting for the others to return.”  I grab CGF’s arm, “Ya did good.”  She starts to cry.  I just pull her into a hug.  Cali joins in.  “Hey.  Seriously, ya did good.”  We stand there together for a time.  I double check that the oven is off and put the loaves into storage bags.  I heave a sigh, “Let’s get the bags into the truck.”

“Dad’s truck?” Cali sounds slightly aghast.

“We can’t all fit into my Shelby.”

“The Shelby is your car?” CGF’s voice is a little squeaky.

“Yup.”  I grab the key fob for the truck and my purple bag.

The girls grab the backpacks they’d packed, “Seriously, you are going to drive Dad’s truck.”

“Cali” I turn and smile smally at the young woman, “yes, I am going to drive that damn behemoth.”  As I open the garage door, “It’s the only option.”  I hit the button for the garage overhead door and plop my purple bag on the console between the front seats.  “I’m going to back it out.  CGF, go get your machine.  We’ll just park them all in here for now.”  As she runs, “Please don’t hit my Shelby” I give her a smile.

I had to spend a moment or so adjusting the driver seat from the settings for James’ 6 foot 1 body to my 5 foot 2 one.  I finally get it set and back his damned truck out pointing it down the driveway.  Just as CGF gets her machine in the garage, I hear the others coming.  Cali tosses the bags she’d packed into the bed and climbs in the back seat.  CGF helps point the other machines into the garage.  Castor jumps into the passenger seat dropping something to the floor between his feet.  Pointing to the item, “What’s that?”

He picks it up, “What’s left of Dad’s helmet” he says softly.  It’s split almost in two.  He puts it between his feet again.  His hands are shaking.  I rest my hand on his arm.  He pats my hand.

I heave out a breath I didn’t know I was holding.  Then I lean out the window, “Marcella, please check that I locked the front door.”  MBF joins Cali in the back seat. 

Marcella climbs in, “Yes it’s locked.”  CGF squeezes in the back too.

“Sorry for the tight fit back there.” I hit the button on the remote and watch the garage door roll all the way down.  “It’s only till we get to the airport.”  Leaving the driveway, my phone syncs up.  I hit the message app and call the number that Jordan had given me.

“Eagle Airport Choppers.”

“My name is Kira.”

“Are you on your way?”

“Yes, we are.”

“What are you driving?”

“A big ass truck.”  I can hear the huffed laugh on the other end.

“We’ll have the chopper ready for you when you get here.  You can park the big ass truck in the hanger.”

I actually laugh “Thank you!”

“See you in about 40 minutes?”

“Highway patrol can mail James the ticket.  Thirty.”

“See you then.”  The call ends.

I hit the freeway and punch the gas.  Fortunately, the road is clear, there is no snow falling, very little traffic and the gas tank is full.  I don’t even look at the speedometer.  I keep my eyes on the road.  “There’s some granola bars in this bag” I elbow it to Castor, “if you’re hungry.”

Castor pulls the bag into his lap, “Thanks.  Anyone else?”  There were a couple of takers.

“Hey, I have dry clothes for you guys in the back” Cali speaks up.

“Let’s not forget those bags at the airport” Marcella adds.

Twenty-eight minutes later, I’m parking the truck in the hanger.  I hand the fob over to the chopper pilot, “Please don’t ding his truck.”

“No ma’am, I won’t” he smiles at me.  He puts me in the co-pilot’s seat, the kids all get the back seats with the bags on the floor between their feet.  “This will take about 40 minutes with today’s weather.  I have gotten permission to land at the hospital.”  He taps my arm pointing at my feet, “Ma’am, I do ask that you keep your feet off the controllers there.”  I nod and tuck my feet under the seat.  Moments later we are airborne.  I try to keep from shaking.  The panic is trying to set in.  The what if’s are beginning to run amuck.  What if he’s paralyzed.  What if he never wakes.  What if he’s suffered brain trauma.  I feel a hand grab my right arm from behind.  I recognize the nails.  It’s Cali.  I just put my hand over hers and squeeze.  That’s when I realize that I’ve been twisting the ring on my finger and it’s sore.  Denver begins to loom up out of the snow.  I make sure that I’m not hitting any of the flight controllers as the pilot brings the chopper in to land.  He powers down and the blades slowly come to a stop.  He rests his hand on my arm, “We all hope that James is fine."

I nod nervously, “Thank you.  I will keep you informed.”

“Please do.  I’ll be happy to make the return flight with one more onboard.”

“Thank you.”  I climb out of the chopper and collect my purple bag. 

A nurse greets us on the helipad.  “I was told to expect you.  I’m Nancy.  This way.”  She leads us into a waiting area.  “Please have a seat, the doctor will be right in.” 

My heart is racing.  This is either really good news.  Or super bad.  Cali sits next to me, holding her stomach.  “Upset?”

“Yeah, and I didn’t grab the baking soda.”

“We’re in a hospital.  I’m sure they’ll have something” I pat her arm.  She grins.

A middle-aged doctor comes in, “Kira Mooreland?”

“That’s me.”

“Would you come with me please?”

“Doc, these are his children.  Whatever you’re going to tell me, you might as well say it right here cause I’m just going to tell them.  It’s better coming directly from the doctor’s mouth.”

Nodding, he pulls up the magazine strewn table and sits.  “Then let me be blunt.  He’s damned lucky.”  He leans elbows on his knees.  “James does have a severe concussion and some major bruising.   Other than that, he’s fine.”  I hear all the kids heave a sigh.

“What about his neck?” I ask.

“He’s had a full CT scan.  The herniated disc is actually fine.”  I heave a sigh.  “I’m going to keep him under tonight.  You can see him tomorrow morning.”  He stands, “But not before 7am, please.”

“Thank you doctor.”  I stand and shake his hand.  “By the way, you might have to secure his wrists to the bed frame.  He’s known for pulling out his IV ports.”

The doctor cocks a grin, “Yeah, we already discovered that.”  The kids laugh.

“Doctor, he’s also a recovering alcoholic.  Please keep the pain meds to the minimum and non-narcotic.”

“I will see what I can do.  I appreciate the information.  I will also add it to his permanent records.”

“Thank you again.  We’ll see you tomorrow morning.”  I sit as the doctor leaves and heave a sigh.  Now.  To house six kids.  I call Jordan.

“Kira.”

“He’s fine.  Severe concussion and bruising, but fine.”  I hear a breath of relief on the other end.  “They are keeping him at least tonight.”

“I’ll get you rooms.”

“Can you please get me a suite?  I don’t think any of us want to be separated tonight.”  I see all the kids nodding.

“Let me see what I can book.  One night or two?”

“Do two, can always cancel the second.”

“Two it is.  You’ll need car service too.”

“Yes please.”

“Ok, van.  We do have a couple of people in the area that I can call on to be runners.  Do you need anything?”

“Hang on.”  I look to the kids, “Do y’all need anything?”  Nodding at Cali, “Besides baking soda?” I smile.  I pass along the two requests – a box of baking soda and a bottle of melatonin.  “Hey Jordan, can we please get some catering?  Pasta maybe.”  Again, all the kids nod.

“Sure.”  I hear clicking on a keyboard.  “Ooookaaaayy, the car service van will be at the hospital main entrance in about 5 minutes.  I didn’t want to send it to the ER door.”

“Understood.”

“Runner tells me that he’ll have your asks at the hotel about the same time you guys get there.”

“Jordan?”

“Yes?”

“You deserve a raise.”

“You get them to agree to that and I won’t say no!”  I just laugh.  “Kira, call me if you need anything.”

“I will.  Thank you again for everything.”  I end the call.  “Ok, car service will be at the main entrance in five.”

The seven of us collect bags and coats and wander to the main doors, getting lost once in the halls.  It was a minute before the van showed up.  We climb into the black vehicle.  The driver was smooth and courteous.  Once at the hotel, I go to the front desk.  “Checking in.”

“Last name please?”

“Mooreland.”  I put my driver’s license on the counter.  I can see his eyes widen as he starts clicking on the keyboard.

“Thank you.  How many key cards would you like, Ms Mooreland?”

“Seven please.  And I prefer Miss” I say kindly.

“My apologies, Miss Mooreland.  The key cards will take just a moment.”

“Castor?” a voice behind me calls out.

“Timothy!” Castor moves to shake the man’s hand.  He has several bags with him.

“Miss Mooreland?”  I turn back to the desk.  “Your key cards.  The elevator is just there.  You will need to use a key card on the pad for the Penthouse.”

“Thank you very much.”

“Please do let us know if you need anything during your stay.”  I just nod at him.

Collecting my purple gym bag, I nod to the kids.  They follow, as does Timothy – who is carrying a very large bag – probably dinner, into the elevator.  I tap a key card on the pad and hit the P button.  The doors open on the biggest hotel room I’ve ever seen.  It was like walking into someone’s super fancy living room.  There was even a grand piano.  Like roaches in the light, the kids scatter to claim a room.  Timothy sets the bag on the dining table.  He rests his hand on my shoulder.  “Jordan told me.”  I can only nod.  “Here’s my number.  If you need anything.”  He hands me a business card.

“Thank you.”

Timothy pats my shoulder and yells bye to Castor.  Then he’s on the elevator. 

Sighing, I drop my purple bag on the sofa and start pulling dinner out of the bags.  Two large containers of pasta, two kinds of sauce, breadsticks, tossed salad, cheese packets, plates, utensils and napkins.  Lots of napkins.  Cali comes over and grabbing some breadsticks, helps me get things sorted.  “Hey dorks!” she yells.  “Dinner.”  Giving me a nod, she just smiles.

Grabbing my bag, I go into the big room and sit on the bed.  It looks so huge knowing that I’ll be the only one in it.  I shudder.

“You ok?” Marcella asks quietly.

I heave a sigh, “I haven’t slept alone since September.”

Marcella sits on the bed.  “I can see why Dad likes you.”  She looks at me, “Thank you.”  I look at her.  “We’d have been a mess today without you.”

“One of you would have stepped up.”

She looks at her fingers, “Maybe.”  She looks at me – with her dad’s blue eyes.  “Still, I’m glad you are here.”

“Thanks.”

“Hey Kira”

“yeah”

“Why don’t you have kids?”

A smile spreads over my face, “I didn’t find the right man until I was too old.”

She gives me a look, “You’re forty.  You can still have kids.”

I chuckle, “Marcella.  I’m two years older than your Dad.”

“Naw.”

“I can never call him Papa Het” I chuckle softly.

Marcella just starts laughing.  Castor comes to the door, “What’s so funny?”

Marcella points to me, “She’s older than Dad!”

“Naw.”

I just nod smiling.

“Wow!” Castor smiles.  “You don’t look it.”

“Thank you, Castor.”

“Ok, y’all.  The old lady” Cali winks at me “needs some alone time.  She’s taken care of us all day.”

I get hugs from all of them, Cali making sure to set the melatonin on the dresser and then closing the door.  I close the drapes in the room, take a melatonin and head into the bathroom.  I deposit my clothes on the counter and start the shower.  The room fills with steam.  I walk in and let the water pound on my back.  He’s going to be fine.  He’s not paralyzed.  There’s no apparent brain damage.  His neck is ok.  All those nasty what if’s float away.  But the terror that I’d buried for the sake of the kids bubbles up.  I slide down the wall of the shower stall to the floor sobbing quietly curling into a ball. Body shaking sobs.  I push away the images my mind had created during the day:  James in a wheelchair.  James never being able to play guitar again.  James having to exist in the terror of his own song.  I finally get to the hiccupping stage and stand up.  I do a quick body scrub and rinse.  Then turning off the water, dry off and wrap up my hair.  My sobbing had put my head in the stream from the shower head.  Pulling the sweats out of my bag, dress and climb into the massive bed.  Alone.

The stress of the day, the hot shower and the melatonin have me under in short order.

Rockies Christmas - Day 8

Warnings:  Fluff, the big reveal

I reach over to James’ side of the bed.  It’s empty.  I listen.  He’s not playing.  Then the smell hits me.  He’s in the kitchen.  I tumble out of bed and tidy it up.  Looking around, he’s taken care of the clothes we’d yanked off each other last night.  Grabbing a pair of leggings, a tank top and a long, big knit sweater, I head to the bathroom.  A few minutes later, I’m heading to the kitchen.

James, wearing sweats and a Raiders t-shirt, is working on the roasts.  The coffee pot has already been started.  I lean on the end of the counter, my chin in my hands, watching him.  He smiles at me, kisses me, “Merry Christmas.” 

“Merry Christmas” I answer.

He has both roasts panned and opening one oven door, slides them in side by side.  “I’m going to have to rotate these a couple of times.”

“Why?”

“Well side by side, the middles won’t heat correctly unless they get rotated.”  He closes the oven door.  “I was able to get them into one oven.  That way the other is free.”  He washes his hands then turns to me.

“I like having a big kitchen” as I let him pull me to his chest.

“Me too.”  He strokes my hair.  I sigh in his grasp.  “You good?”

My hands cup his face, “More than good.”  I kiss him, “Excellent.”  I kiss him again.  His hands grab my ass and pulls me closer.  “Later” I whisper at him.  He wiggles his eyebrows.  “If you want cinnamon orange rolls, you need to let go of my ass” I say sweetly.

He almost jumps back, hands on my shoulders, “Yum!!”  I giggle softly.  “What do you need?”

“A couple of the big cookie sheets please” as I pull out several tubes from the fridge and set the second oven to preheat.  I show him how to unroll and re-roll the pastry.  After putting the pans into the oven, he helps me make up the frosting.  I stop a moment when the light catches my ring.  Here I stand in the megarocksuperstargods’ kitchen making breakfast with him.  His eyes bright with joy.  A goofy grin plastered on his face.  We both smile hearing the sounds of his kids waking up.  I grab a couple mugs and make our coffees.  James is back at the stove scrambling eggs.  I think those are the only kind of eggs he knows how to make.  But they are good.  Sitting on a barstool at the counter, I watch him.

“Morning Dad.  Merry Christmas” Marcella yawns.

“Merry Christmas Marcella!” James replies cheerily.

Making her own coffee she looks at me.  “He’s always super happy cooking.”

Raising my eyebrows, “You should have seen him earlier prepping the roasts.”  Looking at me over the rim of her coffee mug, I just nod.

Swallowing, “Really Dad?  Two?”

“They didn’t get the big one in that I’d ordered, so I had to get two.”  He smiles at his youngest.

The others all wander into the kitchen, stretching, yawning, rubbing eyes.

“Are those your eggs Dad?” Castor asks.

“Well, I didn’t lay them.  I just scrambled them.”

Everyone groans.  “Not your best Dad” Cali says with a grin.

“It’ll get better” James smiles at her.  The timer dings, “Now.  These are Kira’s creation.”  He pulls the rolls from the second oven.  I let them cool a minute then top them with cream cheese frosting.

Castor grabs a pile of plates and hands them to Cali.  Then the silverware.  All the kids pitch in to set the table.  The huge skillet of scrambled eggs and a pan of frosted rolls are set in the middle of the table.  I hand James his coffee mug, he pulls out a chair for me, taking the seat next to me.  For a time, there is silence.  I watch Cali.  She smiles at me happily munching on a roll and nods.  I scrunch my nose at her smiling back.  I go to clear my plate when CGF takes it from me.  “Nope.  You cooked.  We’ll clean.”  She makes a shooing motion to both James and me.  Grabbing our coffee mugs, we move into the living room.  The lights on the tree are already on.  James turns on the fireplace on low – the stockings hanging over it do have chocolate in them - then the stereo.  The Boston Philharmonic is playing Sleigh Ride.  Very loudly.  Grimacing slightly, James turns the volume down.  Then he sinks into the sofa next to me, draping his left arm around my shoulders.  With his thumb, he turns my head and kisses me.  My right hand caresses his scruffy chin.  “I didn’t want to wake you with my shaver” he whispers into my ear.  I kiss him, “Later.”  He snorfels into my hair.

The kids all come into the living room and stake out their spot.

“Who’s going to play Santa?” Marcella asks.

Pointing to my head, “I think the newbie should.”  There are happy yeses from all the kids.  He gives me a look, “Besides, she knows the Big Guy.”  I smack his thigh as I stand up. The kids are giving James looks. “Yeah, here.”  James pulls out his phone showing off the photos of us with Santa after the Parade.  I hand out the packages under the tree.  I slip Cali the bag with the photo frame in it.  She smiles at me.  I reclaim my seat next to James.  He holds up his hands, “Wait.  Where’s the ….”

“I got it!”  Castor holds up a large garbage bag.

Giving his son a thumbs up, “Way to go!  Let’s start!”  Pointing to MBF, “Closest to the tree goes first.”

The next three hours are spent opening gifts.  Each person taking a turn to open one gift.  The wrapping paper balled up and tossed toward – and sometimes into – the garbage bag.  A couple end up under the tree. Then the next, and so on.  James would occasionally go check on the roasts. 

After opening the necklace that I’d given him, James puts it on.  His gift to me is a baguette cut garnet tennis bracelet.  I immediately put it on.

After the gifts are opened, Marcella hands out the stockings.  Which were mostly little things.  I see Cali whisper to CBF before picking up the bag.  He picks up his phone. 

“Hey Dad.  I have one more gift for you.”  She hands James the bag.  Total confusion covers his face.  I twist sideways to watch.  Pulling the tissue off the frame, its backwards.  Turning it around he just stares.  “You do have to wait for the delivery on this one.” 

His face pops up to Cali’s.  “Is this…”  He pales a little pointing at the sonogram.  He’s holding the frame like it’s a crown jewel.  “you’re?”  She just nods.  I see all the others gasp.  “You’re going to be a Mom?” 

Again, she nods smiling.  “And that will make you Grandpa.”

James covers his mouth with a shaking hand, a single tear streams down his cheek.  He stands and pulls Cali into a hug.  Turning them both, he looks at me, “I’m going to be a Grandpa!”  The others join in the hug.  There’s laughter all around.  James pulls Cali away a bit, “Does your Mom know?”

“I told her before our flight yesterday.”  CBF rests his hands on her hips.  Concern spreads on Cali’s face.  “Dad, me and CBF don’t really want to get married.”

James cups his daughters face, “You don’t have to.”  He kisses her forehead and pulls her into another hug.  Looking at CBF, “You do have to participate.”

“I will.  That’s a promise that I made to Cali when she told me.”  CBF smiles at her, “I didn’t know my Dad.  He left my Mom before I was born.”  He looks at James.  “I will be a Dad.”

Grabbing CBF’s neck, “That’s what I want to know” James smiles at him.

Cali goes a little pale.

“James.”

He turns to me with Cali still clutched in his arms, “Yeah.”

“Cali needs to use the bathroom.”  I smile at him.  “Like right now.”

James looks at Cali, then releases her.  She trots quickly to the bathroom.  James looks at me.  “You knew.”

Shrugging, “I figured it out.”

He sits back down, “How?”

I smile at him, “I used to work in an office filled with women.”

“Oh.”  He looks at me again.  A goofy grin spreads on his face, “I’m going to be a Grandfather!”

“You will be the Mighty Grandpa Het!” Cali exclaims, returning to the living room.  Laughter fills the room.

For a time, we just sit in the living room amongst the opened gifts talking.  James checks on dinner a couple more times.  He leans over the back of the sofa, his fingers on my shoulders, “You need to get the rest of dinner going.”

I grab our empty coffee mugs, stand and follow him into the kitchen.  James has the roasts resting in their pans on the butcher block counter.  I get the sweet potatoes going in the oven.  The green beans pan gets put on the stove top.  The rolls are put in the cooling oven the roasts came out of.  I pull out the gherkins, the olives, James’ horseradish, and my jellied cranberry sauce.  Marcella, CGF and Cali put the items into the serving dishes and put them on the dining room table.  I pull out the sweet potatoes and add the marshmallows.    CGF grabs the biggest platter and hand it to James, who begins carving one roast.  Grabbing a couple of hot pad holders, I take the sweet potatoes to the dining room.  Cali puts the rolls into a basket covered with a napkin.  She puts the basket on the table.  Going to the kitchen, I plate up another orange cinnamon roll and set it beside Cali’s plate.  She just laughs at me, her eyes sparkling.  Castor and MBF get the drinks for everyone.  James brings in the big platter with his carved roast on it.  He takes the head of the table.  Pointing to the chair on his right he looks at me.  Grabbing my Severed Lime, I sit in it.  The others claim seats at the table.  CGF pushes Castor into the seat at the other end of the table. 

Sitting, James holds out his hands.  With my left hand, I take his right and hold out my right hand to MBF.  And so it goes around the table.

“I don’t usually pray before a meal, but I feel it today.”  I squeeze his hand.  “There is so much around this table to be grateful for.  The joy.  The laughter.  The unions.  The new life.”  He looks at each of us, “I thank God that I am here today with all of you.”  There is a chorus of ‘Amens’ from the table.  James gives my hand a squeeze before letting go.  “I suppose the best way is to pass plates for the roast.”  The next several minutes are spent passing plates and dishes.  That’s followed by the sound of silverware on the dishes.  I wrap both my feet around James’ right ankle, smiling at him.  “How is it?” he smiles at me.

“Dewishous” I say around a mouthful.

“I need a cooking lesson from you James” MBF says.

“A roast is easy.  Comeback in the summer and I’ll teach you how to grill” James smiles at him.

“Dad’s ribs are the best!” Marcella exclaims.

“I kinda enjoy his steaks” I volunteer.  The flash memory of us having dinner at this table during a freak Sept snowstorm floods my brain.  I can tell by his smile, that James is thinking the same thing.

The conversation moves from grilling to cars to the weather to past snow trips to sports.  There’s a ton of laughter.  A few sad memories, but on the whole the smiles win out.

As James stands up with his plate, again CGF speaks up, “You two cooked.  We’ll clean up.”

James sets his plate back down, “I will finish carving the roasts.”

Holding her hands up, “That I won’t argue with.”  She smacks Castor’s shoulder, “Maybe you can learn how?”

“Still shredding the meat son?” James gives Castor a look.  Castor rolls his eyes at his Dad.  “C’mon.  Let’s work on this.”

I grab the dish of gherkins and head towards the kitchen.  Cali is finishing the roll.  I place my hand on her bicep, “There are more on the far counter.”

“Thank you.  They are so good!”

“I’m glad you like them.”  I look at her belly, “I’m glad you like them!”  She laughs.

Christmas dinner is cleared, leftovers stored, the dishwasher started, what didn’t fit in is hand washed and put away.  It’s still snowing hard.

“Now what?” MBF asks.

“Stranger Things!” is the unanimous answer.  A few minutes later, the eight of us are curled up under blankets as another episode starts.

Four episodes later, a break is called for.  Deciding to use the bathroom in our bedroom rather than one of the others, I make the trek upstairs.  James is standing by the sink when I leave the toilet room.  He wiggles his eyebrows at me, “Great minds think alike!”  He smacks my ass as we trade places.  I wait for him, rubbing my tenderized butt.  He washes up after and then grabs me planting a deep kiss on me.  Then looking at me, “I’m going to be a Grandfather.”

“Yes, you are.”  I caress his cheek.  “She was terrified that you’d be upset that they aren’t getting married.”

“As long as the kid doesn’t feel abandoned, I don’t care.”  His eyes darken momentarily.

“I get the feeling that’s not going to happen.”  I kiss him.

“Dad!  Kira!”

“Coming!” we both yell and head to the kitchen

Getting into the kitchen, “Hey, can we have some cookies?” MBF asks.

“That’s why I made them” as I grab several and head back to the media room.

James grabs several and some napkins, “Hey.  Here” he hands me a napkin.

“Tank yhow” I say through a mouthful of cookie.

MBF brings one of the platters while Marcella brings a stack of napkins.  Retaking our seats, the next episode starts.

We finish the first season.  “Should we start Season 2 tonight?” James asks the room.

MBF carefully shifts Marcella’s head from his lap, “I think we’re done for the night.”  Marcella snorfels awake.  She waves.

“Night Marcella” James smiles.  He powers down the system.  “I think it’s beddy boo time for all of us.”  He smiles at me.  I smile back.  “Night kids.”

“Night Dad.”   “Night James.”  “Night Kira.” They all respond.

“Night” I say to the room letting James lead me to our bedroom.  He closes the door, I turn the music on. 

He pulls me to him, “Thank you” he sighs out.

I grab his shoulders pulling his head to mine.  I kiss him.  I giggle.

“What?”

“You had to jump start those eyelids” I smile at him.  “C’mon.”  I flip the covers back.  We both drop our clothes on the floor beside the bed.  James holds up the covers and I slip in.  Laying on my back, I cradle his head on my shoulder.

He kisses my clavicle.  “I can’t believe that my oldest is having a baby.”  I kiss his hair, my fingers gently playing with it.  Minutes later he’s sound asleep.  I listen to a few more holiday songs before letting the sandman close my eyes.