He Looks Like Vlad, Huh… I Don’t Know… Well Whatever, He’s So Beautiful And I Love Him

Trump Has Told Over 10,000 Lies As President

Donald Trump, the spoiled and entitled little rich-kid who grew up to be a serial bankrupt, a malignant narcissist, and a pathological liar. A petulant man-child, untethered from reality, whose monstrous ego compels him to tell the most outrageous lies to aggrandize himself.

And they are outrageous lies. Donald Trump is a ‘stable genius’. He knows more about war than any general (despite being a draft-dodger). He knows more about law than lawyers, more about science than scientists, more about economics than economists, and more about foreign policy than any foreign policy expert. He’s the greatest businessman the world has ever seen. The greatest American President in history. He’s told us all of this and much more. He says it over and over, as if repetition might somehow make it true.

In reality Trump is a deeply damaged, weak, narcissistic mess of character flaws so desperate for admiration that he makes these childish boasts to cover up his well-documented ignorance and failures. Whether he actually believes what he says is debatable. That he expects anyone else to is delusional. It might be pathetically touching if he weren’t such a horrible human being. It would indeed be richly comical if he weren’t in a position of power. The Orange Emperor has no clothes, and his naked incompetence is plain to see for everyone but his kool-aid drinking Maga cult followers..

But this isn’t just another diatribe against America’s worst president ever. Let’s give credit where it’s due. Finally, after a lifetime of never being good at anything Trump IS now officially the best at something. The greatest. Number one. He stands head and shoulders above every presidential predecessor in this one respect and nothing else. Nobody even comes close to him. What is he so great at ? Well, Donald Trump is the biggest LIAR ever to occupy the Whitehouse. 

And what lies they are ! There’s nothing remotely subtle or clever about them. Most are embarrassingly childish and clumsy. They are easily fact-checked and exposed. Bizarrely, though, when called out on lying he doesn’t correct his lie and apologize as any normal person would. He doubles-down and either repeats the lie or adds even bigger lies to support it. Those who have followed Trump’s career over decades say he has never been any different. 

Fortunately, for those outside of his Maga cult and for future historians, the Washington Post has been carefully fact-checking and recording Trump’s lies since he became President. This week marked a shameful milestone. Trump officially passed the 10,000 lie mark. Yes, this utter disgrace of a man has publicly lied to the American people more than 10,000 times since taking office.

And make no mistake, he’s getting worse. During his first 601 days in office pathological liar Trump made 5,000 false and misleading statements however his lying has dramatically accelerated since then, with almost 23 lies every day in the seven-month period beginning in late October during midterm elections.

Just recently, between April 25 and April 27, Trump made a staggering 171 false or misleading statements—more than any similar period in his first five months in Washington. If he goes on at this rate, he’s on track to tell a mind-blowing 35,000+ lies by the end of his first term. Of course, as he becomes increasingly deranged that number could be even more ! He may get to the point where nothing he says is ever true ! He is already past the point where we must assume everything he says is a lie until proven otherwise.

It’s a sobering thought (if two years of Trump has driven you to the bottle). Yes, Donald Trump might be the worst president America has ever had. Sorry. Strike that. Not ‘might be’. He is. Unarguably. He’s a crooked, self-serving, borderline psychopath who manages to tick the boxes of racism, islamophobia, misogyny, and white-nationalism, as well as sheer dumb ignorance and incompetence. It’s quite a toolbox he brought to the Presidency.

But at last (and at least) Trump has achieved what he has pursued so desperately since childhood. He is exceptional at something. He’s finally officially great at something rather than nothing. The thing is LYING. Once again, he has told over 10,000 lies to the American people since taking office. Take a moment to let that sink in. The scale of his mendacity is staggering. Nothing compares. 

So well done Donald. Take a bow. You’re the undisputed greatest at telling dumb lies. Don’t rest on your laurels, though. The sky is the limit, although the gullibility of some of your followers apparently has no limit. The rest of us have faith that you can make it to 35,000 lies before the 2020 election. Go for it. We’re all watching you. 

Internet Writer

(cartoon by Steve Sack)

AHS: Hotel Scenes that We Deserve to See

- James and Elizabeth’s status leading up to how he proposed and what the proposal scene looked like 

- Elizabeth saying yes to the proposal (even though she said she never wanted to be alone, she wasn’t technically settling when she attracted many richer and kinder men) 

- James’ and Elizabeth’s first kill together

- what led to James and Elizabeth’s child (it couldn’t have been just that one time, and I seriously doubt that it wasn’t consensual like all of the time) 

- James’ first look at his child, noticing his features, and his thoughts on the child, what was his reaction

- how James was allowed to see his and Elizabeth’s child (did she end up showing him, did James go looking for the baby, did James stumble upon its room, did James find out and confront Elizabeth?)

- James noticing Elizabeth’s change from human to immortal and changing her drinking selection from wine to blood

- when Elizabeth realized she was pregnant with James’ child

- when James noticed Elizabeth’s pregnancy

- when Elizabeth lost her hopeful spirit and became the Countess

- when Elizabeth first asked James to call her the Countess from then on

- when James came back to the Cortez as a ghost and first realized it and who he first went to 

- how Elizabeth got the name the Countess (James maybe renamed her)

- Miss Evers learning of James and Elizabeth’s baby and her thoughts on the actual child

- where Elizabeth was during James’ death, how she found him, and her reaction

- James’ last thoughts before he died (maybe Elizabeth?)

- the first conversation James and Elizabeth had when he first became a ghost and how they arrived at the arrangement they made to have dinner together every month 

- James March and Liz Taylor’s first meeting and what James’ thought of Liz and how they got along to James letting Liz stay without any threats of death

- James and Elizabeth both talking about their new apprentice and discovering them to both be talking about Tristan

- James watching Elizabeth’s old films and looking for her in the background, pointing her out, knowing she doesn’t want to remember any of those

- the first time Elizabeth picked up a man to join her, and James’ reaction, knowing he is dead but still hurt 

I need more friends.

So at one of my jobs I work with this really nice woman named Liz who has an equally nice boyfriend. Thing is, I don’t know the boyfriends name because Liz only addresses him as boytoy. The term boytoy is used so frequently to describe him that not only does she have no problem using that term but neither do any of her coworkers including myself. One day Liz told me that he would be stopping by and when some dude with a beard came through the door I looked at him and said, “Mr.toy I presume.” And he just looks at me and goes; “The very one.” 

Fucking eh. Relationship goals.

Shawshank boyfriends are done with your shit.

Its honestly the weirdest, nerve wracking thing to have two friends fighting over you lol like ???? I’m so confused.