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Does necromancy only work on animals? What do you do if you accidentally necromancy a fence and then it starts growing branches?
The ongoing "Jason Todd is a cop" debate has reminded me of a brilliant brief image essay by Joey deVilla. So here it is, images first and the full essay text below:
"A common leftist critique of superhero comics is that they are inherently anti-collectivist, being about small groups of individuals who hold all the power, and the wisdom to wield that power. I don’t disagree with this reading. I don’t think it’s inaccurate. Superheroes are their own ruling class, the concept of the übermensch writ large. But it’s a sterile reading. It examines superhero comics as a cold text, and ignores something that I believe in fundamental, especially to superhero storytelling: the way people engage with text. Not what it says, but how it is read. The average comic reader doesn’t fantasize about being a civilian in a world of superheroes, they fantasize about being a superhero. One could charitably chalk this up to a lust for power, except for one fact… The fantasy is almost always the act of helping people. Helping the vulnerable, with no reward promised in return. Being a century into the genre, we’ve seen countless subversions and deconstructions of the story. But at its core, the superhero myth is about using the gifts you’ve been given to enrich the people around you, never asking for payment, never advancing an ulterior motive. We should (and do) spend time nitpicking these fantasies, examining their unintended consequences, their hypocrisies. But it’s worth acknowledging that the most eduring childhood fantasy of the last hundred years hasn’t been to become rich. Superheroes come from every class (don’t let the MCU fool you). The most enduring fantasy is to become powerful enough to take the weak under your own wing. To give, without needing to take. So yes, the superhero myth, as a text, isn’t collectivist. But that’s not why we keep coming back to it. That’s not why children read it. We keep coming back to it to learn one simple lesson… The best thing we can do with power IS GIVE IT AWAY." - Joey deVilla, 2021 https://www.joeydevilla.com/2021/07/04/happy-independence-day-superhero-style/
star wars / batman au and bruce is a mandalorian who picks up foundlings like nobody’s business and loudly & vocally disapproves of the jedi even though half his kids are proficient in the force
Uncle Vlad AU
AU where Vlad actually gets along with the adults in the Fenton household pretty well. The Problem is the Teachers. (And ghosts. But mostly the teachers).
Maddie:
He and Maddie have been flirting awkwardly since they were 10 years old because it was funny when adults did it, and never stopped. Neither means anything by it.
Yes, Mr. Lancer, Jack does know that.
No, we do not need you to send Danny home with the Scarlet Letter. There is no affair. You know what, if you spent this much time protecting my kids from bullies, we-
Good mom, ok? She is! Sure, she gets distracted by work a lot, but she's not intentionally negligent, and she does her best. She just isn't able to connect with Danny the way she can with Jazz.
Jack:
Thinks the awkward flirting is hilarious. Regularly eggs on both his wife and BFF. Hides out at Vlad's to watch football games.
ADHD solidarity with Vlad. Two bros chillin' on a Packers couch, oi, asshole, did you just fumble in the first kickoff! Yeah, he did, which reminds me,did you want to come by for-
Jack was supposed to be there to ask Vlad for help on the portal. They have watched the Bears beat the Vikings, made plans for the weekend, managed to cook an entire meal, and it's not until 2 days later that Jack remembers. (Am I projecting my ADHD? You better bet )
Like Maddie, he isn't intentionally negligent, he just gets distracted super easily. He does his best, but often fails. A true himbo: strong of body, giant of heart, dumb of ass.
Vlad:
Died 20 years ago, but also recognizes that putting his face into a portal to another dimension wasn't a great idea.
Reiterates lab safety constantly despite consistently breaking the rules.
"Remember, children, do not eat or drink in the lab."
"Um. You're drinking ectoplasm right now, though."
"And I'm dead! I can get away with it!"
Despite this, neither Jack or Maddie know he's dead. Plasmius? "Cool costume!" Loses a hand that grows back in a day? "How'd you get that illusion to work?" Jokes about being dead? "Ha ha, yes, we get it. You're dead inside and like grim humor."
Neither Danny or Jazz- who do know- are allowed to tell their parents, because, "come on, guys, don't ruin a 20 year experiment for me! I wanna know how long it takes!"
Vlad is "independently wealthy". As in, he robbed a bunch of billionaires, and has blackmail on twice as many.
So as not to draw too much suspicion, he's a writer. Mostly trashy romance novels or technical manuals. There is no in-between.
Danny:
Dies. Immediately joins Vlad in death jokes. Jazz: You NEED TO talk about it! Danny: IDK, Jazz, I'm still pretty shocked. Get it?
Vlad: Hey, I gotta go visit dead family for the holidays, wanna come with?
Danny: Is that where you go every year? What do you do?
Jazz: Please don't make a ghost joke, please don't make a-
Vlad: Yeah, well, we go haunting, play games, decorate the cemetery, you know. Just get into the holiday spirit, and have a damned good time.
Jazz: I'm calling the Ghostbusters.
Starts learning how to fight ghosts- Uncle Vlad helps, of course, and- DANIEL PHANTOM, WHY are you HERE, and not in math class?! GO.
Nobody knows why Vlad's so chill about the death thing until his family comes to visit- turns out, his mother's maiden name was Addams. Yes, those Addams'.
I got this comment on a story from my Other AO3 Account this morning.
(Info redacted because I prefer keeping these accounts separate but no one follows me on the side blog I have for that account.)
The story was posted almost a year ago and is relatively “popular” by my average statistics even though it has tropes and themes that are big turnoffs for a lot of people (hence separate accounts). This popularity is undoubtedly because it’s a Marvel Loki story and that fandom is massive.
So there is obviously an algorithm or a bot scrubbing ao3 statistics and leaving this comment on fics that meet a certain metric with the main character of the fic inserted into the comment.
I had a little time to kill this morning so I decided to investigate further. And y’all this is so predatory. Come on this journey with me. It made me mad. It may make you mad.
First, if you go to Webnovel’s website, you HAVE to choose between male lead or female lead stories before you can go any further. WTF?
And that’s weird, but this gets so much worse. This is basically a pay-to-read site that has different subscription models. Which… okay BUT! The authors don’t get paid! Look at that comment again. They’re promising a supportive and nurturing community, but zero monetary compensation. It’s basically, “post your stuff here so we can get paid and you can get… nice vibes?” I mean look at this Orwellian writing:
Using the phrase “pay-to-read model” in the same sentence as “qualitative changes in lifestyles for authors” deliberately makes you think that you can get paid and maybe even make a living on this website. But that’s not actually what it says and authors will not receive one red cent.
Oh but wait, the worst is still to come. In case this breaks containment (which I kind of hope it does) this is where I mention that I’m a lawyer in the US.
I don’t do intellectual property or copyright law but I do read and write contracts for a living. So I went to look at their terms of service. It was fun!
Highlights the first, in which Webnovel gets a license to do basically whatever they want with content you post on their site. This is how they get to be paid for people reading authors’ writing without paying them anything.
Highlights the second, in which Webnovel takes no responsibility for illegally profiting off of fan fic. This all says that the writer is 100% responsible for everything the writer posts (even though only Webnovel is making money from it).
Highlights the third which say that by posting, the author is representing that they have the legal right to use and to let Webnovel use the content according to these terms. So if a writer posts fan fiction and Webnovel makes money from people reading the fan fiction, and the House of the Mouse catches wise, these sections say that that’s ALL on the writer.
So that’s a little skeevy to start off with but the thing that is seriously shitty and made me make this post was that these assholes are coming to ao3. They are actively recruiting people in comments on their fan fiction. And they are saying they are big fans of the character you’re writing about and that they share your interests.
They are recruiting fan fiction writers and giving every impression that you can make money from posting fan fiction on their site and hiding the fact that you absolutely cannot but they can make money off of you while you try, deep in their terms of service which no one but a lawyer who writes fan fic and has some time to kill will read.
I see posts on here regularly from people who don’t understand how this stuff works, don’t understand that they (and others) can not legally make a financial profit from fan fiction. And there are tons of people who will not take the time to dig into the details.
Don’t deal with these bastards. Fuck Webnovel.
I think the Jedi council should have at least considered sending obi-wan over to Dooku to be like “yes hello I am here for sith training” just to see what would happen
Hey students, here’s a pro tip: do not write an email to your prof while you’re seriously sick.
Signed, a person who somehow came up with “dear hello, I am sick and not sure if I’ll be alive to come tomorrow and I’m sorry, best slutantions, [name]”.
I like to think the only reason Endo gave us the information that Twilight wears black underpants is to set up an arc where there's a clone Twilight running around, and Yor correctly dispatches the rogue Loid with this piece of vital knowledge.
It's only much later when everyone at WISE and especially Handler and Nightfall wondered how Yor knows. They decided they weren't going to ask. Ever.
(Hint: Yor saw Loid separate his laundry by color the other day. She blushed for a whole day. Twilight's thankful it wasn't the other way round. He would not have survived.)