Holysupesbatman - Superbat

fellas is it gay to memorise your best friends heartbeat so that you always know how he's feeling and where to find him?

ngl im not even a superman fan. i just REALLY like clark kent,,, (thank you, Smallville, for that.)

In the right light, the entire DC Trinity is royalty.

Clark is from a noble Kryptonian House and is the Head of the House of El, Bruce is the Prince of Gotham (mockingly, at first, but then a more serious title as he grows up) and Gotham's Knight (arguably King, as we discussed a few days ago), and Diana is a literal Princess with titles of her own and a goddesshood on top.

Maybe that's why they work so well together? Heavy is the head that holds the crown and all that. They make decisions for others and bear the consequences. They have no peers or equals in their own friend groups or families.

The way Damian would definitely talk about his pets as if they were humans and confuse the hell out of everybody.

Damian: Father, I won't attend dinner today. I promised Lucy I would make more time for her, so we'll be spending the evening together.

Bruce, confused: Lucy? I thought you were dating that Nika girl.

Damian, now confused as well: Flatline? I am dating her. Why?

Bruce, slowly going from confused to disapproving: Damian, I try not to meddle in your personal relationships, but you can't be asking other people out if you're already–

Tim: Oh my god, Bruce. He's means Lucy the monkey.

Bruce:

Tim:

Damian:

Damian: She's a macaque.

*After patrol*

Damian: I'll be leaving. I need to pick up the cake for Jerry's birthday party. Nightwing, you promised Jerry you'd come. I don't want you to hurt his feelings so you better–

Nightwing: Yeah, yeah. I know, I'll be there

Damian: *nods and leaves*

Red Hood:

Nightwing:

Red Hood: Is he talking about the–

Nightwing: The turkey. Yes. He's talking about the turkey.

Split lip 👄

Hi res on my Patreon!

Okay but imagine the Justice League, it’s a quiet day at the watchtower and Batman is in a rare good mood. They are chatting together after a meeting when someone, I imagine Hal or Barry, starts discussing Love Languages and what they think each of theirs is others and to themselves. 

Bruce, in a rare good mood, jokingly says his love acceptance language is physical touch of course. The others, knowing of Batman’s infamous death glare anytime someone so much as enters his personal space let alone touches him. It’s funny to imagine the man who punched Hal while unconscious when he accidentally brushed past him while he was sleeping to have his Love Language be Love, and Bruce genuinely need mean for it to be a joke, so the others laugh. All expect Clark. 

Clark however, can’t help but think of the loneliness of it all. If physical affection was how Bruce felt love, then what did it say about the man who refused to be let others touch him? Who couldn’t accept a friendly pat on the shoulder without tensing up. How much trauma must have happened for him to fear Love. 

Cue Superman, to the confusion of both Batman and the rest of the league, treating Batman like a stray cat and trying to slowly introduce Non Scary Touch Because We Love You While Also Making Sure I Have Consent For This Because Your Comfort Is Important To Me. 

Maybe this is pre-superbat and misunderstandings abound as Bruce tries to show love through (actual love language) while Clark laments about the fact that Bruce still won’t touch him. Or maybe it is early days in the justice league and no one knows each other well, so Superman is still somewhat terrified of Batman but is willing to Brave The Glare anyway, because even emo-bat-vigilantes-who-potentially-still-want-to-kill-you-with-kryptonite deserve to feel loved.

juvenile kryptonians are quite viscious!!! be careful around them!

Bruce, to the Justice League after a botched mission: You deliberately disobeyed me! And worse, you put Clark in danger!

Clark, who is legitimately indestructible: :(

SUPERMAN PODCAST EPISODE!!! STOP EVERYTHING AND LISTEN!!!

uwu yeah so my brother started a podcast about movies and him and his buddy started by talking about all the SUPERMAN movies 🥰😍🥰😍

Soooo basically 👀 y'all should go listen to it. Give it a chance tbh it's got some good discourse 💯

Bruce: Parenthood is a spectrum.

Clark: Explain that.

Bruce: Sometimes, my kids make me so proud I almost like myself.

Bruce: Other times, I say ‘Well. At least they’re not doing crack cocaine’