He Says....

If anyone is looking for a terrifying non-fiction book to read I recommend Voices From Chernobyl. Svetlana Alexievich is a journalist who interviewed more than 500 eyewitnesses, including firefighters, liquidators (members of the cleanup team), politicians, physicians, physicists, and ordinary citizens, over a period of 10 years. The book explores the experiences of individuals and how the disaster affected their lives. You will read things in here that will haunt you for day. (Here’s PDF version) (Last Book Suggestion)

Trust me.....

says the spider to the fly.

I try to be understanding with every person, and try to view posts from their point of view if they get upset. I'm glad you're so outspoken and so open with your autism. You are lighting the way for more understanding, and leading the way for an open dialogue. That's awesome, my friend.

As for the kiddo, he had another seizure last week at the YMCA while swimming. I'm heartbroken, the doctors don't know why he's getting seizures. Fingers crossed all is worked out soon.

His eyes...

she thought, are beautiful. There is life in there far beyond her reach.

Behind his eyes was freedom, far from the chains of his mind and the complex bondage he was held fast to. If only he could reach out. But he is left with a blank stare and various stimulation that were expressed with a flap of his arms, and twirling, his constant twirling around.

She held fast though, returning each time to look into his eyes, because she knew, she knew there was freedom behind his eyes.

A freedom that would break free for an instant, and he would focus and be free from the chains for but a moment, and stare back with recognition, with a single word on the tip of his tongue, but would never be uttered; “mom.”

His eyes, she thought, are beautiful. There is life in there, far beyond her reach.

I’m really taken by these caps lol… I’ve actually been thinking about them recently because the title “God, I’m tired” really makes itself felt here when both Eve and Villanelle close their eyes while lying side by side on the bed. Sure, in doing so both of them sharpen these very naive edges around their actions, saturated with the fact that Eve means to “kill” Villanelle whereas Villanelle is out to “watch” her, but there is something about how readily they still share that space - however small it may be - and have these sincere moments. I mean… these caps look peaceful out of context, despite Villanelle holding a gun.

They actually just might as well be because even when Eve’s reserved, “Yes,” to Villanelle’s, “You’ve found me,” sounds nebulously raging… she still manages to simply laugh when Villanelle praises her, “Well done”. And the fact that Villanelle, in return, has to do the same (ever caught her quick breathy chuckle? It’s short and yall should hear it). It’s such a specific response to that realization. It’s paltable, genuine and cocky and Eve can’t help herself but sink into it. What a brilliant choice to underscore their love language tbh.

When you have nothing left to give, you let them suck you dry; mind, body, and soul.

“[Jodie is a] dance partner who knows a couple of moves you don’t. Villanelle is a very unpredictable character. And I think Jodie has been able to find freedom in acting in playing someone like that. It makes for wonderful spontaneity. It’s like you see them in a box together. There’s a scene at the end of the season that is extremely physical. It was tough to shoot because we had to do it in tiny pieces. But at the end of it, something happened quite spontaneously; it was not scripted, which I think changed a lot of the meaning in the scene between us. And it’s in some ways a way that Villanelle expresses her care for me. I’ll leave it at that.” - Sandra Oh (x)

The thing about depression...

... Is that it doesn't just go away.

Red

The Nekromancer’s Daughter

My identity crisis

About once every two years, I go to Taiwan (I'm in Taipei right now) and feel like an outsider, but also, at home. I am Chinese American. Here, I look like everyone else. I'm not a minority. It's only when I open my mouth that the jig is up, because I'm American, and although my mandarin is good back in the states, but here, my mandarin is no better than a kindergartners, and that brings me a lot of shame and frustration. I want to be literate in this beautiful culture. Currently, I understand more Chinese than I can speak. The only mandarin I ever speak is to my parents, and their immediate friends, and they always praise my parents for making me speak mandarin at home. Back at home, in the states, people I don't know see me and sometimes speak to me slower because I'm Chinese, and I haven't spoken yet. They always have a look of surprise when I start speaking English. I feel very much like a minority there, but it's home and I understand. Don't get me started when I get a call from my parents, and I immediately speak in mandarin. They think I'm speaking in tongues or something. But I don't mind. It's a form of pride. I mean, I can speak 2 languages! Most people just know one. I grew up in a small town in Columbus Ohio. We moved there in the early 90s, from New Orleans and my family was one of the only Asian people there. It was hard. I felt so out of place and so alone. I hated all the questions of whether I ate dogs or cats (no), and why my eyes were slanted (I don't know). I was called a chink and my language mocked and made fun of. So much so that I hated being Chinese for a bit. But it's okay now. It gave me a thick skin and an understanding that some people are just ignorant to be ignorant and don't want to learn. It's not my problem. I'm sitting here at a cafe drinking my iced latte in this beautiful city. I have a lot of positivity in my heart right now, but I wish I could express it more eloquently in mandarin, but it's okay, because this is who I am. It took a long time to accept the things I cannot change, but I want to change the perspective. One day, I will write a poetry of love in mandarin, and it will be spectacular. I'm ABC and proud. I am American Born Chinese

When you and your crew all find something funny for once.

Source: I Miss The 90s