THE WALKING DEAD

1.) I have been given the title of Ven Gogh from my bestie and then occasionally I'm hit with Darwin.

2.) Brown/horribly dyed black with box dye. I've had every color just to settle on black and it's kinda anticlimactic after my last attempt at being blue.

3.) Blue but like the Harry Styles fanfiction kind.

4.) 5'8 :)

5.) Three, sadly. They all live to annoy me.

6.) I have six cats!! Getting my seventh next week 😭

7.) Yellow tehehe (I'm a Hufflepuff)

8.) 11

9.) Okapi! It's a mix between a zebra and a horse and they're like a failed attempt at breeding a unicorn.

10.) The inevitable death that will one day consume us all. That or the fact that our planet is going to go hurtling into the sun and we're all going to slowly burn alive and the planet is going to set itself on fire. Oh, and ladybugs.

11.) I really like Othello!! I'm old, I know.

12.) Pansexual. I have too much love contained to be forced to share it with only one gender.

13.) I don't even know myself 😻 I like to fall somewhere between man, woman, and intergalactic space alien.

14.) English. I use the stuff I learn in there for my fanfics. For example, parallel structure. I also have a hot English teacher. Don't tell her I said that.

15.) Just my ears, but I hope to have my septum soon. I'm not opposed to decking myself out in piercings, I think they're the coolest.

16.) Not yet, but I will be getting one on my wrist hopefully in the near future! I want to get a meaningful one and then cover the rest of my body in Junji Ito.

17.) I play volleyball!

18.) I used to be an active cosplayer (cringe, I know) but now I play the ukulele, I draw, write, read, play with makeup, watch a crap ton of movies, play volleyball, and learn new languages!

19.) I will listen to anything except for country! K-pop tends to be my favorite genre but I also love Japanese metal, indie, punk, pop punk, rock and oh geez the list goes on.

20.) I've read so many great books in my lifetime but I would have to say it's between "Looking For Alaska" by John Green and "Running With Scissors" by Augusten Burroughs. Those ones have impacted me the most.

21.) My favorite shows (because I can't possibly pick just one) are: The Walking Dead, Strangers From Hell, My Holo Love, BBC Sherlock, and Alice In Borderland; not in that particular order.

22.) My favorite movie.... Well I'm technically not allowed to talk about it but it involves clubs and fighting and just a little schizophrenia.

23.) I have a stupid ass nose that I hate with every fiber of my being but I'm pretty decently okay looking in real life. Or you can just imagine I'm some super hot guy if you want 🥲

24.) I play a ton of Persona 5 so I think it'd be illegal for me to reveal my identity as I consider myself a Phantom Thief 🎉😻

25.) Sunflowers. I know it's basic, but ever since I had a dream about J-Hope in a field of sunflowers I've been in love with them.....and him.

26.) Favorite food?!?!? PANKO SHRIMP

27.) I'm good at everything (that's a lie)

28.) I wish I was better at portraying myself as a human. I get into my complexes where I think everyone is a randomly automated bot and I'm living in a simulation, so I tend not to trust easily. (This is also a lie, if I had to be better at anything it would probably be lying)

29.) I spend a lot of time centering myself around Kpop. I mean like four hours a day. Whether it's looking at pictures, watching music videos, listening to it, putting on Chan's lives in the background to keep me sane, it's an all day sort of thing.

30.) I thought it already asked me about hobbies, but I'll pretend it says "What type of Hobbits do you have" so that I can say I keep a little Frodo Baggins in my back pocket.

💛🦐

Get to know me asks

Nickname?

Hair color?

Eye color?

Height?

Any siblings?

Any pets?

Favorite color?

Favorite number?

Favorite animal?

Any phobias?

Favorite game?

Sexuality?

Gender identity?

Favorite subject in school?

Any piercings?

Any tattoos?

Do you like sports?

What are your hobbies?

Favorite music genre?

Favorite book?

Favorite show?

Favorite movie?

Describe one thing about your physical appearance

Describe one thing about your identity

Favorite flower?

Favorite food?

Something you’re good at?

Something you wish you were better at?

Something you spend a lot of time doing?

A hobby you have?

Why is no one talking about the scene in volume one where Eddie literally dies in the upside down for like 2 minutes before being brought back to life by Steve’s mystical tears like in Tangled. And then they made out

It's Okay to Not be Okay

Billy Hargrove X Reader

You finally open up to your boyfriend about how you've been feeling and you're met with a side of him you didn't realize existed.

⚠️ Warnings: MENTIONS OF AN ED, slight angst, slight swearing? Affectionate Billy ⚠️

Sitting outside on the steps to your boyfriend's house, you felt a pit in your stomach as you contemplated what words to use next. In the grand scheme of things, you didn't think your eating habits would be something to worry about with the Upside Down existing, but your boyfriend had you sit down to explain to him what exactly was going on. You supposed that it wasn't fair to keep him out of the loop like this, but you just really didn't want him to worry. You were doing a good job at concealing it for the most part until you had fainted earlier that evening.

"Hey." Billy said, coming out from the house with a bottle of water in his hands. He gently set the drink by you and joined you on the stairs while you looked up at the night sky. It was pretty but you would've enjoyed it more if you weren't about to have the conversation you were going to.

"Hey." Was all you said, not turning to look at him for fear of what he might do or say. Billy had always been somewhat of a menace to others and had been known to be forceful when things didn't go his way. You were usually met with his softer side, or what you supposed would be softer actions. You wondered if that would hold through to tonight. He didn't seem angry when he placed his hand on your leg, gently rubbing the spot and chewing on his lip in concentration. He was at a loss for words.

When he finally figured out exactly how he wanted to go about the situation, he spoke up, "(Y/N), Are you okay? Please don't just say yes because you feel you have to."

Your eyes started to feel droopy with oncoming tears but you pushed them down. It wasn't all the time that you were emotional with him but when he treated you as though you were the whole world, it was hard for you not to be.

Your eyes met his and you noticed how stern but worried he looked. His expression wasn't one you were expecting, to say the least. It was a nice surprise however and you felt your bones become heavy as you let yourself sink into his arms.

"Billy." You said, in between sobs as you finally let go of the words you had been wanting to say for so long.

"(Y/N)."

"I'm having a hard time eating." You said, feeling the words slip off your tongue into reality. It never felt real or like a necessity to talk about until this very moment as your lover stared you in the eyes. You felt him stiffen as you let go into his chest and as one weight lifted, another one fell.

"I know." Was what he replied with, moving his arms to wrap around you and push your hair back behind your ears. This only made you sob harder into his chest. "I've known this whole time but I didn't want to treat you as though you weren't capable of handling yourself. I should've said something sooner."

Getting up from his chest, you tried to wipe the tears off your face in a haste to stop this emotion from taking over. Surprising you with his actions once more, he held your hands gently to stop you from wiping them.

"Don't." He said, rubbing small circles onto your skin. "Let them fall. It's okay."

Billy let you cry some more in his arms as he lit a cigarette. He took a drag and then handed it to you, allowing for you to calm yourself down with the drug. Thanking him silently, you move in closer to his touch and allow for his arms to consume you entirely like the depressive episode you were having. Of course Billy had known. The more you thought about it, the more it made sense. The nights you would go to bed without eating anything he made for the two of you and all of the times you would pass up dinner dates. The breakfasts you spent together where you would insist that a stick of gum was plenty enough to hold you over until lunch and then not meeting him in the cafeteria. He had known all along, but he didn't know how to help you when you didn't know how to help yourself. He wanted to save your ego.

You started to laugh a little bit as you handed the cigarette back up to Billy to which he placed between his fingers and let a small smile loose.

"I missed that noise, where had you been hiding it all this time?" He asked, gently poking you in the sides to try and get another laugh out.

"You were trying to boost my ego." You said, turning up to look at him. That was when you saw a small tear threatening to slip out of his eyes. He was too concentrated on the stars above as he took another drag and listened to what you had to say. You didn't want him to know that you had seen the tear, so you adverted your gaze back to its original position. Now you were the one who was saving his ego.

"No. I just didn't want you to think that I would treat you like you weren't the badass I know and love." He said, passing the cigarette back over to you.

"Would I still be that badass if I asked for a little help every now and then?" You asked, trying to state your insecurity to him in a way that would be a bit playful in fear that you were dropping too much on him. He smiled at you with those beautiful eyes that you fell in love with time and time again.

"Of course." He said with absolute certainty before leaning over and placing a hand on the side of your cheek.

The stars may have been beautiful tonight, but Billy was more beautiful.

Y o u n g L o v e

Pairing: Tate Langdon X Reader

⚠️ Warnings: none ⚠️

Listen to this song while you read:

You slipped into the cold black sheets that adorned your mattress as you prepared yourself for sleep. It was an autumn night and you were ready to fall asleep listening to the rain patter against the glass of your bedroom window. The red panes cast an eerie glow over everything and made your room illuminated in the color. There was something soft and beautiful about it; something you couldn't put your finger on that made you feel as though you were safe and comfortable. Ironically, you were living in a house full of ghosts.

But they were not bad.

Your head hit the pillow and your eyes met the ceiling. It had only been a month since you've moved into the infamous Murder House, yet you were content. The house may have been old and the people may have been rude, but you found yourself here. And you were grateful.

"Hey."

You felt the bed dip next to you and you moved over to the left side to make room for Tate as you participated in your nightly routine. His hand met your back as your face met his chest, your hands reaching up to play with his hair. This is where you felt the safest. Surrounded by the smell of cigarettes and the cashmere of your boyfriend's sweater. The feeling of a now warm bed and the arms resting delicately over your frame. You wouldn't trade this for the world.

Tate kissed you softly on the head; the rain crashing against your window as the storm's intensity increased. Thunder rolled in and made the quiet house alive with the noise of the sky and the universe above. And amongst it all; you were holding your favorite part of the universe in your arms. His short breaths hitting the top of your head and the sound of his heartbeat resonating through his chest signifying that he was both comfortable and in love.

"Hey. Enjoying the rain?" You softly asked him.

He smiled and let out a short laugh. "Of course I am."

He moved your hair out of your face so that he could look you in the eyes. Tate has done a lot of bad in this world. He wasn't always the sweet and loving person you knew him as today. There was a time when his name brought people fear and pain instead of admiration and peace. You were lucky to know him now; you had gone most of your life thinking that people could never change but here he was. Living proof that people aren't always what they seem.

"I love you so much." He said as his gaze met yours. "And I wouldn't trade you for the world." He planted another kiss to your forehead before smiling down at you once more in his arms. In his mind, that's exactly where you belonged, even though there were times where he didn't believe he deserved to have you there. Times when he was alone and found his thoughts drifting to you as they usually did. Times when he saw you leave the house and remembered that you were very much alive. That you still had things to do and people to meet and experiences to have. He felt so selfish for keeping you to himself sometimes knowing that the house was all he could offer you besides from himself. And it crushed him.

As guilty as he felt, having you here tonight made all of his negative thoughts disperse. What had he been so nervous of? Why had he originally fought against the idea of loving you when he first saw you move in? Why had he tried to avoid every attempt of contact you made? Why did he try to convince you that your feelings for him were invalid because you didn't know the truth? It was only when you did find out and you agreed to continue loving him that he let his walls come crashing down.

You still loved him despite his past and the people he's hurt. You still offered to be here and to hold him on nights like these where the loneliness oftentimes took over. You still wore his sweaters and snuggled with him when he felt anxious. You still danced to Nirvana even though it wasn't your taste in music. You still wanted him. And that was more than he could ever ask for.

"Are you okay?" You asked, reaching up to touch his face.

"I'm absolutely perfect."

Lying there, you both fell asleep holding each other and letting the rain drown out the sound of your hearts beating for young love.

NCT

Johnny Seo:

The Sun: You felt a certain connection when it came to Johnny Seo that you didn't feel with anyone else. After a night at Mark's place, he decides to take you hiking. What chaos will ensue on your "nature hike?"

(Romance/Fluff/Chaos)

Headcannon #1: Cute things you and Johnny do!!! Just a little drabble because I love me some Johnny Suh ( ˘ ³˘)♥

(Romance/Fluff)

Yuta Nakamoto:

Fight Club: (Part One) Based off the 1999 film Fight Club; Yuta is trying his hardest to fit in amongst the guys within the club and slowly starts to realize what type of person Johnny is. He'd always fought for fun, but Yuta is beginning to think he'll have to fight for you.

Fight Club: (Part Two)

(Romance/NSFW/Angst)

Hendery:

Coffee?: Just a short imagine featuring a very loveable Hendery and a very loveable reader! Coffee definitely does start conversation!

F I R E C R A C K E R S

STEVE HARRINGTON X READER

He's loved you since the beginning. It's a shame you had to be taken from him so quickly.

⚠️ Warnings: angst!!!! Blood, death ⚠️

Steve held the firecrackers to his chest as he waited for the perfect time to throw it at the demon threatening the lives of his favorite people in Hawkins. The Mind Flayer- also known as the mysterious rat creature- had tormented everyone it came across. Now, as it finally stood inside the Starcourt Mall, it awaited its death in a valiant effort to fight back. Steve counted in his head the seconds before he would have to throw the fiery device at the creature created from the depths of the Upside Down.

"One, Two, Three, Four-" Steve heard Robin count before she threw her firecracker from the balcony. Her short hair flew with the thrust of her arm, hitting the back of the demon and watching a portion of its arm erupting into flames. She looked determined with a fierce glare that she directed at the Mind Flayer; eyes squinted and face contorted into one of complete and utter concentration. Steve had never seen her so focused.

And then, there was you. Watching the creature from the bottom of where you stood, feeling the agonizing burns of the firecrackers yourself. Connected to the monster, it was impossible for the group to make sure you stayed safe while they went for the kill. Your skin was ashen grey and the veins on your body shone black with the poison of the universe which ran parallel to Hawkins. You looked like a shell of the person Steve once knew you to be; the bright and happy (Y/N) that he loved so much and found so much in common with. The (Y/N) who went to all his basketball games and laughed with him in his car while The Police were softly playing from the speakers. The (Y/N) that always knew what to say to cheer him up after a bad day. The (Y/N) that he had asked out on that particularly cold winter day when he realized that seeing you wearing his scarf was a sight he didn't want to lose. You were still that person, of course, but now you were tainted with the horrible curse of the town Steve sought to run away from since the beginning of all this madness. You were still beautiful even though you weren't entirely yourself. And you were still his. Something he considered worth fighting for.

He counted down from ten before releasing the same firecracker into the direction of the monster which took you. He saw your eyes burn and your hands flail around until they reached your face, pulling at your eyes and dragging your fingers across your skin showing the pain you felt on the inside. The veins seemed to sear across your skin like black tendrils; vines opening up and crawling on every inch of your body. He felt a pang in his chest watching you being forced to suffer like this. He wanted nothing more than to have the old you back in his arms playing with your hair after the two of you woke up from another night spent at Steve's. It seemed like a millennia ago.

You screamed in pain and dropped to the ground just as the monster shifted in place, shrinking up against one of the walls towards the kids on the other side of the balcony: Lucas and Max trying their best to ward off the Mind Flayer.

Steve's maternal instincts kicked in and he ran towards the kids, much to Robin's avail. Her arm flung out in an attempt to grab her co-worker and friend as he raced towards the two fifteen-year-olds with their walkies in hand, firecrackers in the other.

"Steve!" Robin yelled, running after him as he tackled the kids into a protective hug just as the monster swung out and crashed its arm into the place they once stood. He held them close and squinted his eyes to try and block out the surroundings. This was all too much too fast. Robin joined him on the other side, holding Lucas close to her as she wrapped her arms around him protectively. He had a single tear threatening to spill down his cheeks and Max looked equally horrified.

You screaming once more brought Steve's attention back to what was happening below. Eleven had joined you in the fight with her arm outstretched in the air as she tried to push you back towards the monster and away from her friends. You floated just a few inches above the linoleum tiles, still in pain from your previous feat. Eleven looked deadly as she threw you to the ground.

"Stop!" Steve yelled before he even got a grasp of what it was he was saying. The guilt of you potentially being killed hit him like a train as he realized how this scenario was bound to play out. He had been too stupid, agreeing to fighting the Mind Flayer in hopes of getting you back, cutting you off from the demon permanently. The kids knew and Robin knew that it just wasn't possible.

"Don't kill (Y/N)!" He said, much more confident in his words and in more pain than he thought imaginable. Eleven turned to look at him with sorrowful eyes and an apologetic glance as blood dripped from her nostril above her lip.

"It has to happen!" She stated with utmost certainty. She knew this was the only way and as much as she hated the idea of losing you, she wanted to keep her friends safe. She remembered the times where you offered the kids rides from school and when you gave her advice about boys. You were so close to her, to lose you would be one of the worst things she would have to experience. But she couldn't lose Mike.

"But- I-I love her!" Steve finally let the reality of the situation hit him, his eyes spilling tears all over and his bottom lip quivering in fear and hurt. His heart shattered and his stomach felt as though someone were pushing a knife into him over and over, turning the blade every which way to deepen the wound. His head burned and his hands ached as he pressed his fingernails into the floor, blood starting to form from the tips of them. He had been scratched up pretty badly and the burning of his wounded eye was hardly anything compared to what he felt on the inside.

Steve's words caught your attention. Your mind an empty space of blackness finally felt as though it were opening up. You had no control over your movements prior to this moment and all you could feel was the searing of your flesh coming into contact with the burning sensation of the firecrackers. Running around aimlessly in the void that was your possessed body, you finally felt yourself able to take control- even if just for a moment. You turned to Steve and felt time stop as you looked into his tear-filled eyes knowing it was you that caused him that pain.

You smiled ever so slightly as another firecracker was thrown by Mike, bringing you back to the fight at hand. You winced in pain and felt the demon you were attached to move hastily towards Eleven, who had been knocked to the ground after her previous attempt at killing you. You were going to save her from this if it was the last thing you did. Running to her small body on the ground, you threw yourself on top of her and blocked out the monster's attack, feeling yourself ripping in two. Eyes wide and crying, Eleven looked down at the thing which stabbed you, the leg of the Mind Flayer itself, lodged into your chest.

And in that moment you thought back to the time Steve had asked you to be his. You had stolen his scarf when it was snowing, the falling pieces of sky finding themselves gently tapping your hair and leaving it in a small blanket of white. Your cheeks were rosy and your hands hurt from the cold but Steve's scarf had kept you warm. He was wearing his signature blue jeans and polo shirt with he letterman jacket from the basketball team at Hawkins High. His hair was also coated in snow and even though the two of you were practically freezing to death, he looked happier than ever.

"(Y/N)," he had said that day, "Will you be with me? Like- with me with me?"

You had smiled so much from his cute anxiousness and placed your hand in his. "Of course." You said, the happiest girl on earth.

You looked at Eleven underneath you and smiled the same way you did on the day Steve lent you his scarf.

"Tell Steve I love him too. Please." Were the last words you said before everything you knew faded to black.

...

A/N: I hope this is okay, I don't usually write angst but I was listening to Little Freak by Harry Styles and I'm all out of cookies. Enjoy :) 💛🦐

Timmy things in movies 12/x: breakfast/lunch/dinner

Together Forever

Paring: Tate Langdon X Reader

⚠️ Warnings: Swearing, mentions of a corpse, yandere behaviors on Tate's part, angst, threats made against people ⚠️

"You died crying. I held you. You were safe. You died loved."

Tate held you while your shoulders shook from sobbing. You had just caught a glimpse of the body that laid in the basement; limbs contorted and bent out of shape. It's mouth gaping open and eyes rolled into the back of it's head; maggots and worms crawling in and out of it's ears. The sight was entirely gruesome and you felt the sudden urge to vomit. That couldn't be you. There's no way that was you. You couldn't have overdosed on those pills you only took a couple!

Suddenly Tate's arms felt heavy and intrusive. They felt as though they were holding you down to the spot, forcing you to look at the sight below. Yes, that was it. It was Tate's fault since he was the one who dragged you down here!

You pushed Tate off of you and made a run for the stairs. He stayed for just a moment before he went after you shouting your name. You ignored him and turned the corner from the kitchen to the foyer without so much as giving him a second look. You tried to make it to your room but saw that Tate was blocking your way.

"(Y/N). Please, baby. Talk to me." He slowly tried to approach you, his hand out towards you like you were some wild animal.

"Stay the hell away from me! You're a psycho!"

Tate felt his heart jerk in his chest. He was used to people calling him crazy but the last person he expected it from was you. Sweet and innocent you that held his hand when you walked around the beach. Sweet and innocent you that played with his hair while he slept on your chest. Sweet and innocent you that just called him a psycho.

"(Y/N). I know you love me. Stop acting like you don't."

"You're crazy! I should've listened to them! You fucking killed me!" You took some steps back, tears running down your face and your hand twitching at your side in panic. This was the worst anxiety attack you've ever had and the person who you usually found comfort with in times like these was currently your reason for having one. God, you should've listened when everyone said he was bad news. But you were blinded with love at the time.

"(Y/N). I would never kill you. I held you as you died. I told you how much I loved you in your last moments and I was the last thing you saw. You overdosed on those pills to stay here with me. I know you did. Why else would you do it? You're not suicidal." Tate started to get angrier with every passing minute. You weren't used to being the source of his anger and after only seeing him as quiet and reserved, needless to say, you were terrified. Terrified of what he was capable of. Terrified of what you knew he was capable of.

You had to think of something to crush him. Something to get him to leave you alone forever. You hated what he did to you. You hated the person he brought out in you. Why did things have to end up this way?

"You don't love me. If you loved me you wouldn't let me die."

Tate's eyes went dark. "What the fuck did you just say?" He yelled and the lights flickered on and off; the lampshades shook and the furniture moved away from where you two were standing. You had never seen this side of your boyfriend before.

"Stop acting like you care! Go away Tate! Go away!"

"You're all I want! You're all I have!" His hands clenched at his sides and his hair stuck to his face. He wasn't going down without a fight. You didn't want him to leave you! Why would you want him to leave you? No one has ever loved you like he has. No one would die for you like him. No one would kill for you like him.

You tried to run for your room again but Tate caught you in his arms and held you there despite your struggling. After a couple minutes of squirming around you fell limp into his side. There was no way of getting out of this. You were damned to this house now. Your parents would never be able to leave. You were stuck.

"Just give up now!" Tate pulled you in closer so he could stop your movements entirely and hold you to his chest. "Baby, please just give up."

You stopped and you let him embrace you. What was the point anyways? He would just find you again. He wouldn't let you leave now that you were with him. You belonged to him in his eyes and that wouldn't change; dead or alive.

"You were the one who took the pills, (Y/N). That was all you. But now we'll be together forever."

Another tear rolled down your cheek.

"The way it was always supposed to be, love."

The two of you sat on the floor in the middle of the room; one of you excited for the future and the other wishing they could die again.

He's so hot and for what

Nightly Encounter

Carl Grimes x Reader

Characters mentioned: Carl, Daryl, Michonne, Rick, Judith, Eugene, Carol, and Rosita

⚠️SPOILERS FOR SEASON 8-9⚠️

Warnings: Extreme angst, mentions of suicide, depressed reader, eating disorder

"(Y/N), turn around."

You were fidgety. This was a new territory, a new level of trust that Carl was putting in you. You knew you couldn't say no the minute he'd asked. He felt comfortable enough to show you the thing he hated most about himself. All in hopes that you would love that part of him too.

And of course you would, it wasn't even a question. But what if you said the wrong thing? What if you stared for too long, what if you looked away too fast? All these 'what ifs' ran through your head, making it impossible to think clearly. 'Calm down,' you told yourself, 'you're turning this into a bigger deal than it is.'

You heard the sound of his bandages being removed and the bed shifting under his weight. You waited for him to give you the sign that he was ready. When he did, you turned around slowly to make sure not to scare him. His head was looking downwards, his hair was in his face. You couldn't see anything but by the slump of his shoulders you knew he was terrified. You could practically hear his heart beating a mile a minute from where you were standing on the opposite side of the room.

You went to sit down on the bed and you grasped Carl's hands, inviting him to look at you. Once he put his head level with yours, you slowly reached out for the long hair that framed his face and you moved it away from his face.

What lie under it was the scar that had hurt him more emotionally than physically. It was large and took up most of the right side of his face, but you couldn't help but feeling as though it was beautiful. It was beautiful because it was a part of him.

"I'm sorry."

Those words shattered your heart when he said them aloud. Sorry for what? He had nothing to be sorry for. He had lost his eye courageously. He had lost his eye but not his smile. He had lost his eye, but not himself.

"Carl. You have nothing to apologise for. I think you're beautiful."

He looked up in pure shock and furrowed his brow. "What are you talking about?! I have a hole in my head!" He angrily pushed his bangs back into his face and sprang up from the bed.

"Carl!" You called out after him, grabbing his wrist. He stopped and turned to look at you. He was fuming now, you could practically see the steam coming out of his ears. "Carl," you repeated, much kinder this time, "sit down. Please."

He sat down on the bed and folded his arms.

"Carl. Thank you so much for trusting me with this. I understand it's such a hard burden to carry but you don't have to carry it by yourself anymore. I think you're just as handsome as you were before. Maybe even more handsome. I love you and I wouldn't care if you shot out your other eye, I would love you just the same." You pushed the bangs back away from his gaping wound and you kissed his forehead, holding his head in your hands. "Please, never forget that."

He stopped being so tense and nuzzled into your touch. This was a lot of trauma to relive at once and you understood it was going to take more time for him to open up. But you were ready to be there for him when he did.

"I love you, (Y/N). Sorry for keeping my emotions from you for so long."

"Again, you have nothing to apologise for, Grimes. I love you and that won't change."

...

You played back the memory in your head. It seemed like a millennia ago that you were holding him in your arms like that. When the worst thing you guys had to worry about was a scar.

You tugged on the grass a little as you laid down on your chest. Your face was pressed against the grave of Carl, to your heart aching to hold him in the way you did before. To tell him that that stupid scar wasn't going to change anything because it didn't. It made you love him even more. Crazy how losing things like that makes your love stronger. Only this time, you'd lost him.

Your tear stained cheeks were starting to get itchy as you prepared yourself to stay another night with Carl. Everyone else was busy, even Rick who had somehow gotten over Carl's death so quickly. It felt shameful to you that he could lose someone so important and then continue as though there were more important matters.

You were ready. Ready to die. Carl was the last thing you'd had in this world and now that he was gone, you and wanted to have no part in it. This cruel world that was based on survival. This cruel world that killed the last beacon of hope. This cruel world that killed Carl Grimes.

Again, more tears came. It had to be almost a week now. You've refused to eat, drink, socialize, or even leave Carl alone. You couldn't. He was right there yet so far away. You could feel yourself slipping sometimes, fading in and out of sleep that was haunted with nightmares of your long-gone lover.

"Hey. I can't let ya stay out here any- jesus (Y/N)! When was the last time you've eaten?!" Daryl came up from behind, sitting down on the grass-Carl's grass- beside you.

...

The moon shone over the trees and cast a pale glow over the gazebo Carl led you to. His hand was in yours as he dragged you to his favorite spot in Alexandria. The place where he could see the stars the easiest.

"Just a little further..." Once you reached the small structure, he offered you his knee so you could climb up on the roof. It wasn't all that tricky, considering the gazebo was only a few feet up. You climbed up to the top and offered your hand to Carl but he denied it as he tried to climb up himself. 'Show-off' you thought as you smirked and laid on the patchy wooden roof.

You heard a grunt as Carl laid next to you, brushing the bangs out of his good eye. He grabbed your hand and looked at you before looking up above. You had to admit, the stars were beautiful and since light pollution was no longer a problem, there was more that you guys could see. But your focus wasn't on the stars, no. It was on Carl. The way that he looked at the world not knowing that your world was him. You could see the reflection of the stars in his eye, but they were there all the time. The boy really held the universe in him and he would change this cruel world one day. He had to.

When he noticed you staring, he scooted in closer.

"Whatcha thinking about?" He asked, a knowing look on his face. He knew that whenever you were lost in thought he'd be the one to bring you back down to earth.

"You. As usual," you smiled and pushed his hat over his eyes,

"All I ever think about is you."

...

"(Y/N)? Are ya listening?"

You forgot Daryl was sitting beside you and not Carl. You grunted as you tried to sit up but found that you didn't have the energy. It must've been days since you've gotten any food or sleep.

"Yeah. I'm listening." You replied but you knew you couldn't. No one could ever pierce your thoughts and knock the sense in you that you needed to hear. You were a thousand miles away.

"Look," Daryl sighed and played with the denim of his vest, "I know things are hard. But I also know this isn't what he woulda wanted. Carl was brave. He worked to keep this place safe....to keep you safe. He wouldn't want to see ya like this." Daryl leaned in and placed a hand on your shoulder. "I don' like seeing ya like this."

You could barely hear him over the rushing of your thoughts. Carl wouldn't have wanted you to live without him, right? You started this world together and you were supposed to end it that way. He got the chance to leave it first, but that shouldn't mean you should go about your days pretending that everything is fine. Nothing could be fine without him. He was your world and it didn't matter what Daryl would say, or Rick, or Michonne, or anyone else for that matter. Because your world had been taken from you twice. All because of those stupid flesh-eating bastards.

...

"(Y/N)!"

You woke up with a start. The grass you were laying on was covered in dew, meaning that it must've rained while you fell asleep after your talk with Daryl.

You reached for your knife, only to find that it wasn't there. Your eyes searched the area looking for it when you saw him.

His boots were all scuffed and muddy, his jeans were ripped and his gun holster was at his side, also empty. His long brown hair was bushy and his hat sat atop his head, exactly in the position you remembered it. Because right before you was Carl Grimes. The love of your life.

"(Y/N), can you hear me?"

Your whole body went into shock and before you knew it you started crying. Tears streamed down your face like never before as you watched him sit down next to you, reaching out to hold you. You sat in his arms for a few minutes as you let it all out, finally conveying the depression you had felt for days.

"Shhhh it's alright."

You suddenly stopped and got a grip on what was happening. Was this real? Carl had gotten bit by a walker. Surely there was no way he has suddenly come back to life to give your pathetic body a hug.

"What happened?? How are you here?" You uttered in disbelief.

He smiled. "(Y/N). I wanted you to find a home here. I don't want you to keep grieving my death. Alexandria is safe now and you're free to live again. Please don't give up because of me." He rubbed your back and pushed his hat up. "You would say the same if our positions were switched."

At this, you fell limp. Of course. What have you been doing all this time? You'd been so wrapped up in the death of your lover you forgot there were other people you had to care for. Rosita, Michonne, Eugene, Carol, Daryl, and even Judith. This was your home. This was a place where you didn't have to suffer from the harshness of the outside world. You could've been helping with the runs and cleaning but instead you were here and as much as you loved him, you knew Carl was right.

"I'm sorry, I- I just-" you held back your tears "living in this world without you- it's hard. I promised myself that there wouldn't be a day where I wouldn't wake up next to you. I love you so much. I- I'm sorry I couldn't save you." The last part came out in a rush. The words hurt you to say as much as they hurt Carl to hear.

"Hey. Listen to me." He titled your chin upwards so that you were looking at him. "What happened was not your fault, okay? It was mine and mine alone. I'm so sorry that I left you here. I should've been more careful. But I promise you're not alone. I'll be here with you everywhere you go. And I'll still be here when I'm just a memory. When you find someone else I'll be here cheering you on. When you have children I'll watch over them too. When you get old, I'll be waiting for you on the other side so that you have nothing to fear. I promise." He slid his hand into yours and wiped away your tears. You smiled- actually smiled as you caught a glimpse of his face for the last time.

"There's no way you'll ever be just a memory, Carl Grimes."

And then he faded away.

...

The lights in the infirmary stung your eyes as you opened them. You weren't lying outside anymore, and instead you found yourself in a bed wrapped in one of Carl's flannels.

You caught a glimpse of someone standing outside your doorway. "Hey- what happened?" You asked to no one in particular. You just wanted to know why you'd been moved.

The man standing in the doorway was none other than Daryl who had visited you that night. He was looking more healthy than usual, although he could use a good night's sleep. His bags were becoming more and more prominent.

He made his way over to your bed and sat down at the end of it, careful to leave you enough space. "Could've died last night. Your heart almost stopped."

This stopped you from asking anymore questions. So what happened last night wasn't a dream? Carl was really there? You had come face to face with death without even realizing it.

"(Y/N)-" Daryl began but you stopped him.

"I saw him."

Daryl's eyes grew wide. "Ya did?" He turned around so that he was looking directly into your eyes. "What'd he say?"

You smiled.

"I have a reason to keep living, Dixon."

Gifs aren't mine, thank you for reading <3