Ruby's mother, 15 years old, just given birth, deciding what to wear:
Heiji: Wow Mizu really hates us, Fowler. Fowler: Maybe he's homophobic. Heiji: But we're not gay, Fowler. Fowler: We're not?
Random goon: Hey boss, were you the one to pick that name as an alias? And why this one?
Red Hood : I used to have another name, before... A long time ago. But that person is dead now. I get to choose for myself now, they can't take that from me. I won't let them.
Goon: Huh.
***
Random Goon: Say boss, why do you never take off your shirt in front of us?
Red Hood: Well uh, I actually have that really fucked scar on my chest and I'm not comfortable with...
Random Goon: Don't worry boss, we get it, you don't have to explain yourself to us.
***
Red Hood, high on some toxin: God, I wish my family...
Random Goon (on boss-sitting duty): why not try reaching out to them?
Red Hood: They would never accept me as I am now... They wouldn't agree with my so-called "life choices". Besides, they don't miss me, they miss the person they think I used to be... I wasn't even a man when I last saw them.
Random Goon: Damn boss, that sucks.
***
And then the goons throw the Red Hood a party on trans visibility day and Jason is so confused he straight up cries.
Ford: This trip to the Vatican City has been quite fruitful, though still no sign of the Ionza. I wonder if more written accounts exist that I’ve missed? Overall, an enjoyable trip!
Stanley, wearing the papal tiara and holding an empty bag of weed: WE NEED TO LEAVE RIGHT FUCKING NOW
Thinking about the fact that there’s got to be at least one person in Ford Pines’ life who spent an absolutely insane amount of time without realising he’s got polydactylyl. My dumb ass is so unobservant that if one of my friends had six fingers you bet I’m not picking up on that until they mention it.
I’m coping <2
Ruby’s birth mother naming her child
I just woke up and somehow the only thought in my head was Jason Todd as an Etsy witch but he only sells ‘violent spells’ and instead of doing spell work he just personally goes out and beats the shit out of whoever you choose
Me: *blushing furiously at my phone*
My mom: oh that's a cute guy, you have a crush on him?
Me: *sweats in trans and asexual* yes certainly, I definitely find this man attractive. Absolutely nothing else is happening here. (It's a dude in an outfit I want and I'm probably jealous of his shoulders)