"The Calm Seen From Above"

Riku Appreciation Week | Day 2: Quote

I gave in to darkness once and ever since it’s chased me in one form or another.

The Seeker of Darkness who stole my body. A puppet replica of the shadows in my heart.

And now … I’m facing me.

Akusaimonth: Berserk Mode Day 5: Flames

It feels like those flames are devouring me.

AKUSAIMONTH 2015: BERSERK Day 15: SET C - “Acts of Love & Hate”

It didn't matter that he wore a different name or a different face. I wanted to destroy him. It was a desire, roaring deep inside of me, overwhelming everything else. It was his fault. His fault. 

Destroying him wouldn’t fix what had happened, but it would set me free. 

Of him. Of you. 

Of the pain I refused to feel.

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AKUSAIMONTH: BERSERK Day 3: SET C - “Friends”

“Why are you doing this?“ “Because we’re friends, why else?“ “… We are?“ “What?! Sure we are! Pft, so mean! Now you have to pay for the ice cream next time!“ “What?“ “Naaah, just joking, really, don’t take everything so serious. Come on, let’s get-” “I will.“ “Huh?“ “I will buy ice cream next time. Then I’ll show you my favourite.“ “You have a favourite ice cream?“ “Just what do you take me for? An alien?“ “Naaaa~ahaha. So, which one?“ “…Sea Salt.“ “Eww, sounds gross. Maybe you are an alien after all.“ “Oh, shut up.“ “…“ “Why are you grinning all of a sudden?“ “Nothing~ Come on, Isa, let’s get moving!“

It felt great. Having a friend.

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Guess who was at gamescom '14

and played Kingdom Hearts 2.5? :D

(under the cut, because this will be a long post with pictures)

Yep, I went there. Only on thursday though, I had to work on friday evening. So basically kittendough and I drove 6 hours to Köln (starting at thursday, 4 am), went to gamescom and drove 6 hours back home (with a break overnight; we slept in the car, it was like a roadtrip or something, really cool x'D).

If you ever wondered what sort of a person I am, I am the one who thinks 'Ah, I can't go there, it doesn't pay off for one day', then realizes two weeks before the event, when all the tickets are already sold out, that their favourite game will be featured there, who then gets tickets out of nowhere and goes anyway. If I want something bad enough, I won't stop before I found a way to do it. And I usually find one. xD

So well, kittendough and me somehow arrived at gamescom (as Isa and Isabelle (lol), already in our costumes)

And I was a really happy bunny when I found the Square Enix Shop

And even more so when I finally, FINALLY realized that we just have never been to one hall (everything was just so big, I've never been to any event of that size, so well, shit happens?) and that I didn't misunderstand KH13.com and that there really was KH 2.5 set out to play and ... uhm, i think I spent hours there, without realizing it. x'D

(sorry you random people on my photos)

and OMG it was just sooo cool *A* BBS is just really really great, and it was so cool to play it with a real controller and on a bigger screen and omg omg. I'm soooo looking forward to this game being released!! (still, I have no idea why they colored all the unversed new?) I realised once again though that I really don't like KH2 (and KH1) as much as the other KH games ö_ö The controls are just really annoying. But whatever :D There's a lot of Axel and Saix in this game so I'm looking forward to it anyway.

AND I met those really cool Axel and Roxas cosplayers there!!

The wig of the Axel was just so incredibly cool!!! (even more from the side than from the front) Well, as always when I meet good cosplayer of my favourite characters I was completely awkward and shy xDD That's really annyoing. >.<" Dammit. I completely forgot to compliment the Roxas for the wigs, because she styled both of them. Hopefully the Axel told her… :<

Of course I asked Axel to take a photo together with me, I was waaaay to shy though to ask for a hug or something like that, which would have been totally cool because AKUSAI!!!11!1! but whatever. xD I'm happy with this one as well.

haha, I'm small x'D Well, okay, I'm probably not thaaaat small compared to her, but her wig (and my way of awkwardly standing around) really makes it look like that. xDD

Oh, and look at what I bought! <3

An overexpensive phone strap of wonda-nyan (it was really expensive, but seeing this little dreameater always just makes me happy, so well, now I am always happy when I look at my phone x'D It was really worth it.) and the KH Piano Collection Field & Battle CD <3 You should hear the Lazy Afternoon OST, this version of it is really great!!

So, yeah, it was a really really great day, I'm so glad I did that :) Hopefully I have more time next year (or at least the year when KH3 will be shown there :DD), I'm looking forward to go to gamescom again.

Here's the finished drawing next to the sketch! (Also some more Rowan sketches. I have a few of those ahaha)

And some progress pictures!

King (ID in Alt)

I might maybe perhaps possibly still be slightly obsessed with the Wilds of Eldraine story. (And Rowan specifically. Support women's wrongs!)

AKUSAIMONTH: BERSERK Day 1: SET C - “An Eternal Memory” (Prologue)

I swore I'd never forget. I wonder, did I keep this promise? I held the memory close, that much I can say, but still … In my rage, the hatred I didn't even acknowledge … Didn't I change it's meaning?

It is hard to understand why I acted the way I did in this quiet moment. No, not to understand. It is hard to believe. What a fool I have been. Had I acted differently … would I have been able to change fate? Had I been stronger, could I have been able to change the fact that it is you lying in front of me, motionless, once again?

“Wake up,” I whisper, knowing that you are probably not able to hear me. They keep telling me, that you don't. Yet, how would they know? When I was lost in darkness out of all things it was your voice I heard. So, wouldn't it make sense for you to hear mine as well?

When they tell me not to push myself too far I can feel a sense of empathy coming from them that I neither deserve nor wish for. I fake a smile nonetheless and promise. Another promise I am probably breaking in this twisted way of mine, without even knowing. This is all I can do for you, so I won't stop. For as long as it takes I will be staying by your side. I will keep the memory of you.

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I don’t know I found it funny at 3 am.

18 Days left.

This is one of the things I'm looking forward the most? OH YES. Roll, VenVen, roll.

AKUSAIMONTH: DAYTIME MOON Day 6: You’re going to be fine, I promise.

Time will heal all wounds and I’ll accept your scars