Heroes-feasting - Hello Bonjour

I am apparently working on becoming a local cryptid at the store. Talents include:

Monitoring the changing of the seasons via mozzarella

Predicting the weather by picking up a piece of cheese and mysteriously saying “oh, the storm is gonna be bigger than we thought...” just before thunder

Mind reading, e.g. “Can you help me find a cheese? It’s called, uh... [starts fishing out shopping list]” “Gruyere?” “...yes O_o”

The problem with putting s’mores as a technical challenge is that baking your own s’more from scratch defeats the purpose of s’mores which is of course to spend ten minutes trying to get a crappy store bought marshmallow the perfect golden brown color before going “fuck it” and letting it catch fire then frantically putting it on a graham cracker with hershey’s chocolate before it falls off of the stick you found on the ground

Elven Marruth

“Sometimes reductively referred to as “root pies” by dwarves and humans, marruth are incredibly hearty closed-faced canapés that are filled with spiced and herbed mashes of vegetables (carrots, potatoes, and carrots) and then lightly baked in a flaky, buttery crust.” - Heroes’ Feast, p. 64

Eating seasonal foods is a popular option because it helps local growers, tastes fresher, and makes you feel more connected to the season. Now, this is all well and good if you live in a climate with longer or all-year growing seasons; but what can you expect to be growing when you’re knee-deep in snow?

Believe it or not, there are winter seasonal vegetables! (rip fruit, you’ll be missed until spring)

Elven Marruth from Heroes’ Feast is a great use of hardy winter-season produce. The small pastries make for a great snack alongside a warm bowl of soup or, thanks to their nutritious filling, a great meal on their own!

These small pastries also hold a special place in my heart for being the first recipe I ever made from Heroes’ Feast (alongside Underdark Lotus with Fire Lichen Spread on p. 93)!

Check out below for my process in creating the house and for some helpful tips and tricks when making this yourself! Get Heroes’ Feast here: https://dnd.wizards.com/heroes-feast

Prep: 15 mins + pie crust, if making                 Cook: 2h 30 mins

Total: 2h 45 mins

Ingredients:

1 small yellow onion, finely chopped*

1 small Yukon gold potato, peeled and cut into ½-inch pieces

2 carrots, peeled and finely chopped*

2 cups (300 g) packed finely chopped green cabbage*

3 tbsp. (44 ml) extra-virgin olive oil

Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper

2 tsp. (3 g) finely chopped fresh thyme, plus 1 ½ tbsp. (4 g) picked whole thyme leaves**

¾ tsp. (4 ml) soy sauce

¼ cup (4 g) chopped fresh dill

All-purpose flour for dusting

Pastry for 2 double-crust pies, thawed if frozen

1 egg

* To cut down on prep time, roughly chop the onion, carrot, and cabbage and then process them together in a food processor. You’ll need about 15 pulses get them all finely chopped.

** To pick the whole thyme leaves, pinch a stem of thyme and run your fingers down the opposite way the leaves are pointing.

First, preheat the oven to 375℉ (190℃) with the racks in the upper-middle and lower-middle of the oven. Line two large rimmed baking sheets with parchment paper or nonstick (silicone) liners.

Then, in a bowl, combine the onion, potato, carrots, cabbage, and olive oil and toss to coat the vegetables with the oil (top-left). Add ½ tsp. salt and a few grinds of pepper and toss to distribute (top-right).

Transfer the mixture to one of the prepared baking sheets, spreading it into a thin, even layer (set the bowl aside) (top-left).

Roast the vegetables on either rack until tender, 25 to 30 minutes, stirring and turning the vegetables two or three times (top-right).

NOTE: I misread the instructions so I spread the mixture over both sheets.

Remove the baking sheet from the oven, add the chopped thyme, and stir to incorporate it. Spread out the mixture and allow to cool to room temperature for about 20 minutes.

Leave the oven on for more baking and return the cooled veggies to the now-empty bowl. Stir in the soy sauce, dill, ¾ tsp. salt, and pepper to taste. Adjust the seasoning as necessary, and set aside until needed.

If making the filling ahead of time, turn off the oven, transfer the cooled mixture to a tupperware, and put it in the fridge until needed.

Replace the parchment paper on the baking sheet or wash the non-stick liner and return it to the baking sheet. Have a small bowl of water handy.

Dust a large piece of parchment paper or a clean work surface with flour. Working with one ball of homemade pastry at a time, or one sheet of store-bought pastry, roll the dough into a 12-inch (30 cm) circle (top-left).

Sprinkle half of the whole thyme leaves evenly over the pastry, cover with a piece of parchment paper, and roll lightly to help the thyme stick (top-right).

Flip the pastry over so the thyme leaves are on the bottom, and set aside. Repeat with the remaining pastry and remaining whole thyme leaves.

With a 4-inch (10 cm) round biscuit or cookie cutter, cut at least six circles out of each pastry round.

TIP: To keep the pastry as chilled as possible for maximum ~flakiness~ while baking, work with and cut out circles from one ball of pastry at a time. Place each cut circle on a plate covered with cling film and put in the fridge until needed.

Keep the scraps from the first dough ball in the fridge and combine with the scraps from the second dough ball. Roll out the combined scraps for extra circles.

NOTE: My pie crust recipe gives quite a bit of dough, so you’ll end up cutting out way more than the six asked for by Heroes’ Feast.

Working with as many of the pastry circles as you feel comfortable with to keep the dough chilled, place 1 ½ tbsp. (one slightly rounded tbsp.) of the vegetable mixture in the center of each round, leaving a ½-inch border around the edge.

Working with one piece of pastry at a time, moisten the edge of the pastry circle and fold over the pastry over the filling to make a half-moon shape. Press out any trapped air, press the edges firmly to seal, and crimp the edges using a fork to secure the seal.

Transfer the crimped pastries to a separate plate and keep in the fridge until ready to cook.

Repeat with the remaining pastry rounds and filling.

Once all of the pastries are ready, transfer them onto the prepared baking sheets.

In a small bowl, beat the egg with 1 tbsp. water and brush the tops and sides of each marruth with the mixture (top-left).

Bake until the marruths are light golden brown and crisp, about 25 minutes, rotating the sheets 180 degrees and switching racks halfway through baking (top-right).

Set the baking sheets on wire racks, cool the pastries for about 5 minutes, and serve hot.

NOTE: Despite the recipe only being supposed to make 12, I’ve always gotten somewhere between 18-22 marruths from the filling.

NOTE: You’ll notice the BIG marruth I’ve made on the tray. I was trying to see if I could make a larger version of this recipe since I’d made smaller ones of the Hand Pies (p. 21). However, the consensus was that the smaller ones were better. Expect 4-5 more marruths than shown if not making the big one.

Overall, I would give this recipe a 5/5. I’m usually not a huge fan of vegetable-based dishes, but these veggie turnovers are awesome. I’ve made them for weekend lunches and many a movie night and they’re always a massive hit!

The vegetables really work together with the soy sauce and herbs to create a great flavour with a texture reminiscent of a spring roll. If you’re looking for a more savoury turnover, this one’s for you.

MAKE SURE TO EAT THEM WARM though. It might just be me, but they don’t really work if they’re any colder than room temperature.

I would also recommend making the filling and pie crust on one day and assembling them the next day. It makes the cooking time a lot less daunting and not eat up your free time :)

P.S. You can make these for someone who doesn’t like onion by leaving it out. I’ve made them like this before and they said they were great!

Pumpkin Shaped Dinner Rolls

"On Halloween night, the Great Pumpkin rises from his pumpkin patch and flies through the air with his bag of toys to [give to] all the children." - Linus, It’s The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown!

Happy Halloween everyone! I’ve been a huge fan of Charlie Brown for as long as I can remember. Every year, my family watches the specials on TV and I must have read each volume in my grandmother’s massive collection at least three times.

So, when I saw this tumblr post late last year, I knew exactly what I wanted to make for Halloween this year… but with a twist! After some trial and error, I’ve found a way to add cinnamon/pumpkin spice sugar to these rolls while avoiding a massive pocket of it.

So, grab your fall-themed drink of choice and check out below for how to make a batch of these delicious pull-apart dinner rolls for yourself! The great pumpkin may just pay you a visit for your troubles…

(Based on the post by Chef John from All Recipes and the tumblr post linked above.)

Prep: 20 mins             Cook:  3 hrs             Total: 3 hrs 20 mins

Ingredients:

1 cup (240 ml) milk, warm

1 packet (2 ½ tsp, 6.5 g) active dry yeast

1 tbsp. (15 ml) honey

4 tbsp. (57 g) butter, melted

1 tsp (6 g) salt

2 ¾ cup (345 g) all-purpose flour, plus ¼ cup (30 g) more for dusting

Kitchen string cut into 12 32-inch long pieces

Vegetable oil

Pour in the warm milk, yeast, honey, and butter into a large bowl and stir to combine (top-left).

Next, add the salt and the 2 ¾ cups of flour. Using a wooden spoon, stir in the flour until a shaggy, sticky dough forms (top-right).

Turn the sticky dough out onto a clean, lightly floured work surface and knead the dough until it becomes smooth, elastic, and is no longer sticky, about 10 minutes. 

Form the dough into a rough ball shape by tucking in the sides. Lightly coat a medium or large bowl with vegetable oil and transfer the dough seam-side down (top-left).

Cover the bowl with lightly greased plastic wrap or a dish cloth and let rise until the dough has doubled in size, about 1 ½ hours (top-right).

Meanwhile, prepare two baking trays with parchment paper or reusable silicon liners.

TIP: I found that only about 3 tsp (8 g) of the reserved dusting flour spread out onto the board was needed to keep the dough workable without the buns becoming dense.

TIP: Remember from the video, you’ll know the dough has been kneaded enough when it springs back after being lightly pressed and you can stretch out a piece the dough like a windowpane without it ripping. The windowpane should also be able to support the weight of the rest of the piece of dough without ripping.

Once the dough has doubled in size, turn it out onto your clean work surface and knead it a few times to bring it back together.

Next, either cut the dough in half and divide each half into six even wedges or divide the dough into 50g - 55g portions using a kitchen scale.

Knead each portion a little and then pull in the edges of the dough to create a ball (like the big dough ball). Secure the its shape by placing the ball seam-side down on the work surface and gently rolling it with the palm of a clawed hand, for about 10 seconds.

Once the smaller dough balls have been formed, place them seam-side down on the prepared baking tray, cover, and let rest for 15 minutes.

Meanwhile, place the pieces of kitchen string in bowl and toss them with a generous amount of vegetable oil. 

NOTE: Do not move onto the next step without this first rest. The dough will expand way too much around the string if you wrap it immediately.

Optional addition to this step:

If you’d would like slightly sweeter rolls to dip in coffee or tea, you can add some cinnamon/pumpkin spice sugar after kneading the measured portions and before shaping the rolls.

First, roll the dough flat and spread ~⅛ tsp. of the sugar mixture on one half (top left). Then, fold in half so the sugar mixture is covered and spread another ~⅛ tsp. on half of the folded dough (top right).

Fold in half again and follow the shaping instructions above to seal the rolls.

NOTE: If you put ¼ tsp. of the sugar mixture in the middle of the rolled dough and shape it from there, the mixture will not be evenly distributed throughout the dough - you’ll just get a dry sugar bomb in the middle of the roll.

After letting them rest, working one roll at a time, place the end of one piece of string on the seam-side of the roll with enough of an overhang to tie a double knot latter, ~2 inches (5 cm).

Wrap the string around the dough so eight sections are created. Unlike the tumblr video in the intro, I wrap the string around the dough in one motion (no crisscrossing or twisting strings).

The string should be secure but loose enough that it isn’t pressing much on the dough before the knot is tied.

Once wrapped, double knot the string so there is enough pressure to form small indents and return the roll to the baking tray knot-side down (which should also be seam-side down).

Cover and let rest for an additional 30 minutes. Preheat the oven to 375॰F (190॰C) with the oven rack in the middle of the oven.

TIP: Any adjustments to the placement of the string should be made before the knot is tied. The string is virtually unmovable at that point.

TIP: If you’re choosing to add the sugar mixture, set a 15 minute timer once you’ve shaped the first roll. Depending on how long it takes to get through all the dough, you may be able to start wrapping the string around the rolls as soon as you finish shaping the last one.

Sift a little bit of flour on top of each roll (top left).

Bake until the rolls have lightly browned and sound hollow when knocked, about 20 to 25 mins (top right).

Once the rolls have cooled enough to handle, cut the strings off of each roll from the bottom. Slowly and carefully unwrap each roll, removing any strands of string that get stuck.

NOTE: It might have been the string I was using, but I found a lot of little strands were left behind as I unwrapped the rolls. The best solution for this I found was: 

Not to wring out any of the vegetable oil from the string when I took it from the bowl and, 

Have my finger directly behind the string as it slowly peeled away from the roll to help all the little strands come off. 

You’ll probably still need to go in an remove some from where the knot was tied, but this should get rid of most of them.

Finally, cut one or two cinnamon sticks into ¾ inch (2 cm) pieces and press one into the tops of each roll to create the stems.

TIP: To cut the cinnamon sticks, use a steak knife to make a small groove and then snap them at that mark. It’ll really save the durability of your knives. Use long sawing motions instead of short ones.

Voilà, your very own pumpkin dinner rolls! Overall, I would give these a 4.5/5 for the regular ones and a 4/5 for the sugar mixture ones - not because of the taste, but for the process.

Cutting the string, soaking them in oil, plus the wrapping, tying, and unwrapping nearly drove me insane each time. I would recommend making these, especially the sugar mixture ones, with a friend. The extra hands (and jokes) will go a long way.

In the end, although they were a little awkward to make, they were definitely a fun way to get into the spirit of the season (and flex on everyone /j)!

A dishwasher that turns tupperware lids into socks that you don't own

girl help i’m having creation ideas above my skill level

pass the olive garden breadstick to your followers 

One Pot Meal

A zero-effort dinner with great flavour and fast cook time.

Simple and nutritious meals are an important thing to have in your back pocket, especially as a student. In a previous post, I shared The Ultimate Sausage Pasta, a quick and easy recipe from my housemate’s friend.

This time, we’re looking at the One Pot Meal, one of my favourite zero-effort dinners to make when I just really don’t feel like cooking. Minimal ingredients (two of which can sit in your cupboard until you need them) and an under half-hour cook time make this the perfect meal for when you’re tired or need a break from the kitchen.

As an added bonus, the Italian sausage adds great flavour on its own, so you don’t need to worry about whether you have the right spices or not!

Check out below for the recipe!

Prep: 5 mins            Cook: 20 mins            Overall: 25 mins

Ingredients:

1 pack (500 g) mild Italian sausage*

2 tbsp. (30 g) unsalted butter

2 cans sliced potatoes

2 cans cut green beans

* I prefer Johnsonville brand.

First, slice the sausages into ½ inch (1 cm) pieces.

Next, melt the butter in a large wok or high-rimmed skillet with a lid on medium heat.

Add the sausage and cook until cooked through, about 10 mins, stirring frequently.

NOTE: If you’re using the sausage from frozen, you’ll need at least an extra 5 mins to the cooking time.

Drain the canned beans and potatoes, discarding the liquid. Add them to the wok or skillet and stir in with the sausage.

Turn the heat to low and cover with the lid. Let cook until the potatoes and beans have warmed up, about 8 mins, stirring occasionally.

Once everything is heated up, divide and serve!

Overall, I give this a 5/5. It’s simple, tasty, and low effort - truly a fantastic meal for after a long day.

At this point half the reason I still put up with TiKTok is the insane bakers and cooks. I mean LOOK AT THIS.

why do they always show cranberries in thos big pits n its implied its wet and possibly swimmable. do cranberries really grow like that. wh