BUT HER AIM IS GETTIN’ BETTER

oh beautiful planet...oh planet of Creatures...oh planet of Life...

just remembered this old clickhole video i used to be obsessed with

More of a tears gall on myself

blood is so cool

Coolth was once a word, in medieval times. Then we forgot about it for some reason.

Hold on a sec…….

Is your dad a time traveler of some sorts???

Reminder to myself (and anyone else who needs it)

It also takes energy when your body is trying to keep cool, and the heat always feels worse when your blood sugar is low.

Eat.

Maybe make some sandwiches in the coolth* of the day, and put them in the fridge. So they'll be ready (and cold!) later, when you are both hungry and hot.

Just a thought.

*One of my Dad's words. He figured if "warmth" was a word, "coolth" should be, too.`

I often think about how loneliness is a more powerful emotion in theatre because you’re in a room full of people who all powerless to do anything but watch and I saw Eva Noblaza as Eurydice in Hadestown the other day and I cannot get her guttural “is anybody listening” out of my mind, she was screaming for someone to listen and you’re sat there mere metres away unable to let her know that you are, that her story is being told and she matters, so many people are listening but she doesn’t know that

I spent a lot of time handcuffed and in a cage in high school, for a charity bit the grocery store I worked at would do

the bit was that I was "put in jail for having too big a heart" and customers could donate to my bail to get me out (and the money would go to a children's hospital or something)

now. I was very clearly a teenaged employee handcuffed inside a large cage. and I would honestly tell people that I had been in there for hours. and people would say, that's terrible! that's awful! and I would show them my wrists red from the tight handcuffs, and say but I'm sooooooo close to making bail.

and then they would dump some cash in the basket, I'd thank them, and they'd walk away.

and every so often, one of the managers would come by and collect some of the cash, so I could keep being soooooo close to making bail.

I was very good with this bit. Parents with small kids would pay $5-10 if I told their children I had been placed in jail for not cleaning my room/doing my homework, etc. For people in their 20s, I'd threaten that I was very bad at playing the harmonica, but I WOULD play it and we'd all suffer unless they paid me. and for the most amount of money, older men in suits would almost always pay $20s if I avoided eye contact and stammered a lot.

eventually, the managers started to feel bad because I was in the cage so fucking long and often, that I'd need someone to brace me when I got out because I'd have no feeling in my legs. wobbling like a newborn giraffe.

but I would also rake in at LEAST $100 an hour in charity.

so they were like, hey champ. can we, uh, give you a pillow to sit on. in the cage. would you like a pillow so you're not just sitting on a cold metal slab. can we give you a pillow.

and I had to explain to them that if they gave me a pillow, people would think I was more comfortable, so they wouldn't feel as bad, so I'd bring in less money.

the compromise was that they'd bring me a nice coffee every couple hours, which I would have to try to block with my body from the customers.

all this money went to charity. that's what the money was for. it's what was on the sign. but how much they were willing to pay was very contingent on how comfortable I looked, never mind the fact that I was still a teenaged employee handcuffed inside a cage.

and out of the dozens of shifts I did this on, not ONCE did ANYONE say, hey kid I'm going to go talk to your manager because what the fuck is going on here. they would just drop money in the basket, and I'd thank them and sip from my secret drink.

I actually had people get MAD at me that I told them I was far away from bail, they donated like $15, and then 20 minutes I got let out because my shift ended.

again. the money was for charity. it was on the sign that was very clearly placed on the upper half of my cage.

so yeah. even when people think they mean well. people can be really, really fucking stupid.

voice-over: Halloween is the one night a year a girl can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it

makeup montage

voice-over: the really hardcore girls only wear lingerie and some kind of animal ears

close up of someone putting on a pair of cat ears

cut to the agency door, which the cat king slams open, wearing the perfect mean girls Halloween costume

Sorry, I haven’t done my work, yeah, I’m in spoon jail. Yeah, I was in really bad spoon debt, and I stopped paying my spoon taxes. Yeah, I can’t do anything until I gather enough spoons to pay my spoon bail.