Other People Love To Go On About How WOW I Am So Organized With My Spreadsheets And Taping-off Of Dead

The Lamb : The Goat :: Beemo : Football

Like, exactly-exactly. There's mirroring of the mirroring.

Why is no one talking about this?!?!!?!

In honor of the ratio we celebrate today, let me tell you about the day I first learnt of its existence. It was the 90's. I was attending a religious elementary school in West Covina at the time. Yes, it's a real city. Rachel Bloom didn't make it up for Crazy Ex-Girlfriend.

At this very real school in a very real place, I had been absent the day before. I don't know if I had been sick or if it was a family thing, but whatever it was, I had missed a lesson. So when my math teacher kept referring to a term I'd never heard before, I figured I would look it up later, no big deal. There was a glossary in the back of the book that was usually very helpful.

It wasn't helpful that day, though. I spent way too long trying out different spellings for the term my teacher had been using. It couldn't have been more than 10 pages of terms and definitions, and I was an advanced reader, yet I couldn't hunt the term down. I eventually gave up.

The math teacher was warm, lovely woman with a very heavy Jordanian accent. If you know anything about Arabic accents, well, then you'll understand what had happened.

And that's why I can truthfully say that I unsuccessfully tried to look up the word "bi" in a math book while I was a pupil at an Islamic institution called Straight Way School.

π Happy Pi Day, everyone π

sometimes-overlooked bit of queer history

The practice of clinics, centers, bars, universities, organizations, etc. giving out free condoms, while menstrual hygiene products remain expensive, may seem like a patriarchal nod to the needs of cis-het men over those who menstruate.

It absolutely is not.

Handing out free condoms was, is, and always will be (as long as the patriarchy exists, anyway) a radical act. It is a result of the movement to mitigate the spread of HIV/AIDS in the face of deathly inaction on the part of most mainstream institutions at the time.

That any of us ever believe that free condoms are a product of the patriarchy is a victory for the homophobic erasure of the fight against HIV/AIDS. I once fell for it, too, but it's simply untrue.

Yes to free condoms, and yes to free menstrual supplies.

AND THEN OUT OF ALL OF THOSE THEY ALL USE THE SAME ONE (1) OUTHOUSE ANYWAY

REALLY NOW, MAGS. NO OUTHOUSES. NOWHERE TO SHIT.

Here is a list of 10 Black artists/bands you might enjoy if you're millennial indie trash like me, roughly in order from better to lesser known and accompanied by a single song rec. There are, of course, more than 10 Black indie artists I listen to and even more that exist (and lots more songs just by these artists/bands!), so please do drop your recs in the comments.

(and yes "indie" means very little but whatever you know what I means it's vibes OK?!?)

Artist: Solange Jumping-off point song: Losing You Yeah, she's Beyonce's younger sister and fairly famous, but hear me out: I feel like she is perceived as overexposed as a result and therefore is sometimes dismissed as an artist. She really is fantastic and has her own thing going. I honestly don't think her singing voice sounds anything like the other Knowles's. Her style is definitely unique, too.

Band: Bloc Party Jumping-off point song: Flux You may know at least one song by them, even if you don't realize it. They've been featured on video games like Need for Speed Pro Street, FIFA 06, Burnout Revenge, and Guitar Hero 3, as well as TV shows like Skins, Waterloo Road, and How I Met Your Mother. The frontman, Kele Okereke, has also released his own solo stuff.

Artist: Santigold Jumping-off point song: Disparate Youth Formerly known as Santogold, she's opened for acts ranging from The Beastie Boys to MIA and Bjork, plus she was name-dropped by Beyonce in Break My Soul (The Queens Remix).

Band: TV on the Radio Jumping-off point song: Young Liars They've been one my faves since the first day I heard them ~20 years ago and have stayed in the rotation ever since.

Band: Alabama Shakes Jumping-off point song: Don't Wanna Fight The band is on indefinite hiatus for a lot of reasons ranging from messy to objectively awful. That said, what a fantastic and highly influential band, especially considering how relatively short-lived and recent its existence was.

Artist: Ekkstacy Jumping-off point song: i walk this earth all by myself For the record, Ekkstacy himself has expressed annoyance at the comparison. But! The first time I heard him, I immediately was reminded of Bloc Party in a good way, and I'm not the only one.

Band: Black Kids Jumping-off point song: I'm Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend How to Dance with You The first time I came across this band, I was convinced the band name was indie irony, like the band Girls. I was wrong. Also, the lyrics to their aforementioned biggest song is accidentally a transmasc mood.

Artist: Toro Y Moi Jumping-off point song: Talamak I've seen a lot of artists live, and his slot at Desert Daze is one of the best performances I've ever seen. The music is danceable and the lyrics poetic and thoughtful, yet unpretentious.

Artist: Yuno Jumping-off point song: No Going Back A man after my own heart, he mentions HIM’s Razorblade Romance and AFI’s Sing The Sorrow among the albums that have influenced him.

Artist: Blood Orange Jumping-off point song, more normal song edition: You're Not Good Enough Jumping-off point song, trippy glam edition: Uncle ACE This is the artist and song that inspired me to write this list, because I absolutely cannot get enough of both of these songs right now, so he gets two song recs. Fun fact: Dev Hynes has collaborated with Minimalist icon and ye olde meme Phillip Glass.

Knowledge is knowing that it's Frankenstein's monster; wisdom is not looking for a lab coat when you Find Frankie.

WE NEED MORE DANCING MUMMIES

There are fewer music videos featuring dancing mummies than I expected. 1997 had two, Around the World by Daft Punk and Everybody (Backstreet's Back) by Backstreet Boys. Nearly a quarter of a century went by until we had another, Nadiyon Paar (Let the Music Play Again) from the 2021 Bollywood movie Roohi.

Music videos that I expected to have Ancient Egypt-theming but don't for some reason (?!) are 1979's Egypt by Kate Bush (more modern Egypt/ruins-themed, OK fine) and, most surprisingly, 1986's Walk Like an Egyptian by The Bangles.

Granted, those were still relatively early days for music videos, but damn, Walk Like an Egyptian really phoned it in. Not even a little Cleopatra eyeliner for the performance or a picture of a pyramid projected on the background or something? Just a quick blink-and-you'll-miss-it flash for a few seconds of the four members of the Bangles in some really bad costumes that read more Temu Ancient Greek than anything? Weaksauce.

There are lots of music videos that are Ancient Egypt-themed but are sorely lacking in dancing mummies.

- King Tut by Steve Martin (1978) - Egypt (The Chains Are On) by Dio (1984), which is technically a concert recording (Live at The Spectrum 1984) but it's themed as fuck so it counts - Tut-Ench-Amon by Falco (1984) - Valley of the Kings by Blue Murder (1989) - Remember the Time by Michael Jackson (1992) - Put Your Hands Where My Eyes Could See by Busta Rhymes (1997) , which features a pastiche of themes but that's OK, it slaps - The Curse by Josh Ritter (2010) - Dark Horse by Katy Perry (2013)

Honorable mention: Suraj Hua Maddham from the 2001 Bollywood movie Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham. Because pyramids.

As a kid, you know what I thought "mythology" meant? Religion not directly based on the Bible.

And I was a Muslim?!?!?!

See also: "My pronouns are she, but not her…. I’ll never be her…"

The first nightmare I've had in a while was about being forced to use fabric softener.

If you assume that I

✅ am a millennial,

✅ am autistic,

✅ am fat, trans, broke, but also vain, and

✅ hear "hello, my name is Renae, and I'm an appliance repair tech" often enough to know it by heart,

you'd be right.