Since You Guys Liked My First K2 Analysis So Much, I've Decided To Make A Second One And Mainly Focus

my favorite thing to do in a conversation with kyman haters is hear them go “but it’s bully x victim, that’s problematic!!” and respond with “yeah i agree kyle was a bully but i believe he can really change” and then watch them sit in total confusion

so i’ve been thinking A LOT about kyman love languages recently and here’s what i’ve come up with:

kyle’s love language is definitely help.

he’s pretty used to helping those in need and that is how he usually shows affection. he doesn’t say “i love you” or hugs cartman often, but when he has a chance to stay at cartman’s room he will subconsciously clean up everything here and there; he keeps an eye on whether cartman is taking his meds; he will casually tuck him in at a sleepover, help cartman with his homework (constantly grumbling about cartman’s laziness), buy his favourite chocolate bar at the store… but he will never admit he actually cares about cartman, neither will he accept the same help from eric. he will deny it and make excuses although everyone understands how much he really protects cartman.

in response he loves to get affection with quality time!

he won’t admit it but he loves dates for just the two of them.

what about cartman, uh, he mostly expresses his love with physical touching.

and it’s so. so. terrible. cartman knows how much kyle hates pda so he usually tries to embarrass kyle with unexpected kisses in public :D cartman’s the type to intervene kyle’s conversation to demonstratively hug him from the back and kiss his neck and then just go away without any explanation leaving kyle all blushing and distracted. kyle is seriously pissed off every time so they have the same dialogue every goddamn week:

kyle: Did you really have to kiss me in front of everyone?

cartman: That Mexican dude was obviously hitting on you.

kyle: I don’t even know his name, asshole!

cartman: What’s the problem, Kyle? Can’t I just kiss my boyfriend when I feel like it? Is it prohibited? Or are you just homophobic?

kyle: I can’t even tell how tired of your bullcrap I am.

cartman: Because, Kyle, last time I checked America was a free country! Where people like me could kiss people like you whenever they want!!

kyle: Do you even hear yourself?

cartman: Anyway, didn’t you like it though?

kyle, blushing: It was… fine, I guess…

and in response cartman loves to get attention with words of affirmation or praise.

he’s so desperate to get praised by kyle :( i mean nobody really says nice things to him except for his own mother so every time kyle says something like “wow, cartman, you did a great job, huh… that’s surprising…” and cartman can’t hide these happy sparkles in his eyes. also it’s the highest reward for him to be called “eric” by kyle.

that was a reallyyyyy long hiatus of mine. all i have is kyman styff sooo. :d

some panderverse some memes some other weird things sorry guys

OH MY GOD I NOW NEED A WHOLE FUCKING AU BECAUSE THIS IS A FAMILY

“that’s besides the point” I CANT EVEN BMMZKXJXKXXN IM ACTUALLY IN MY BED SHOUTING IN MY PILLOW RN BECAUSE THISSSS IS SO CANON I CAN ACTUALLY HEAR KYLE SAYING THAT.

and then kyle talks to kids, over and over again, gives them personal space, time to adjust, helps them with their homework and lets them see that he and yentl dont hate each other. and he celebrates each little win in a fight for their acceptance. istg one day he rushes into his and cartman’s bedroom to wake him up and shout victoriously “Moisha just asked me to help him with his Maths homework, and I did, and he smiled at me and said I’m pretty smart for such an annoying asshole!!”

and cartman who is still sleepy barely understandable asks “Moisha called you an annoying asshole?” and kyle smiles so widely and says “YES” and hugs him because he has never felt so happy for being insulted

kyle that actually tries to get along with cartman’s kids and suddenly feels extremely nostalgic because they act exactly like cartman in his childhood, and even if they are little monsters he still adores it, surprisingly for himself. meanwhile eric himself is trying his best to forget all those horrible things he did in his past because he feels so ashamed and now he absolutely refuses to admit that his kids might be pretty similar to how he was when he was ten.

one day kyle is watching kids playing in the front yard from the kitchen where cartman stands next to him and cooks them both a breakfast. they’re sitting in comforting silence, both still sleepy, with messy hair, wearing their pyjamas, and at one moment kyle sighs dreamily and mumbles something like “Wow, some things really don’t change, huh…”. eric just raises an eyebrow not quite understanding what that was about, so he says “Sorry?” and waits for elaboration. kyle chuckles and wordlessly nods in the kids direction. eric smiles, not even looking at them and says “Yeah, they’re such angels”, to which kyle only laughs and says “Dude, they’re more like little devils. I mean, they’re little copies of you in your childhood”. cartman immediately frowns and gets extremely defensive like “What the eff, Kyle, they’re not at all like I was. My kids would never be like that, I won’t let you disrespect them at my house”, and kyle just sits there with a smile looking at how kids outside are trying to burn an orange stuffed voodoo bear in a silly little green hat with a note “kyle” on him. cartman finally turns his head to see what they are up to, and then he barely holds laughter adding “Well, maybe there is just one similarity”.

@bloogers-boogers THANKS A LOT FOR YOUR HEADCANON I CANT STOP THINKING ABOUT KYLES INTERACTION WITH THE KIDS

i was thinking a lot about stan and kyle’s attitude to romantic relationships and romance in general. and what about stan’s mental problems, i’ve decided that i strongly headcanon him as a hyperromantic person.

like, when he grows up he starts having constant romantic thoughts, he “crushes” on every person he had barely talked to and has an endless anxiety on the basis of intrusive hyperromantic made up scenarios in his head.

i just find it somehow suitable for him cause he has shown to be very sensitive + he’s the only boy having such a long term relationship and he genuinely CARES about romance.

and i honestly think he gets REALLY confused when it comes to any romantic feelings (that, and also he’s still in denial of his bisexuality + i hc him having a big one-sided crush on kyle that he hasn’t realised yet)

BY THE WAY kyle, on the contrary, is very much indifferent about romance except for when its eric.

like i strongly believe that any “normal” kind of relationship makes him bored so he can only experience romantic feelings when there had been a looong rivalry-like connection and constant fights first. he also is very slow to develop these crushes.

and he, just as stan, doesn’t really understand his feelings (remember how he was told that he is in love with heidi and he’s like “no im not!!! …….am i????”) boyyyyyy😭

IT’S KYMAN WEEK AND CARTDAY NOW OMG

happy birthday the most fucked up boy <3

i am absolutely addicted to making crossovers between my current fandoms and south park

kyle in post covid who finally started dating cartman but every day he feels this bitter dissatisfaction because he can’t accept the fact that he and cartman lost forty years spent with wrong people when they could have been together since elementary school if only they were a bit more opened with their own emotions. and this feeling of wasted years, wasted life keeps haunting him and never lets go :(

ive heard the new sp special finally came out i am SO excited to watch it HOPE IT’LL GIVE ME SOME KYMAN FOOD PLEASE

i love how kyman and candy are basically almost the same ship i mean

(s10e3 // s12e9)