Everyone Is Required To Reblog This Post With A Reason Why They Love Homestuck (if You've Read And Enjoyed

kyle: I am not getting into any more stupid fights with you, it’s not even worth my time.

cartman: Water is not wet.

kyle: How the fuck is water not wet it’s fucking water.

SO imagine a soulmate au where people get a mark on their wrist that somehow implies who their soulmate is (basic). the mark usually appears somewhere about the age of 16-18.

not all people have soulmates, it’s a rather rare occasion (like one person out of 700 people), but if there have been people with soulmates in the family before, it increases the chances of having a soulmate-destined baby.

and now. STENNY.

kenny’s parents are soulmates (which is an INCREDIBLY rare situation because most of the time only one or nobody in a couple has a mark) so it was pretty natural to expect him having a mark.

other guys in the friends’ group didn’t worry about it much because they didn’t have any soulmates in their families, so they thought the chances of getting a soulmate mark were too low.

until one day stan wakes up and sees a death mark on his wrist. like. the grim reaper mark.

and he (naturally) gets scared as fuck. he tries to show this mark to anyone to reassure him that it’s ok but everyone seems pretty scared of it just as much as he is.

after, like, one week wendy breaks up with him saying that she’s afraid it’s some sort of a curse and she doesn’t really want to risk her life for a death-marked boy

and stan (once again naturally) gets depressed.

and uh. kenny is the only one who understands the meaning of the mark. but he can’t really tell the truth to stan because he simply wouldn’t believe if one of his best friends just casually told him “ah yes we’re soulmates and the reason why your mark is so weird is because i die at least once a week. wanna go on a date now?”

and while stan is out there hating his unknown soulmate, kenny has to listen to him complaining about his terrible luck and just. do nothing.

so kenny is just… waiting for his mark to appear so he can have a real proof of their soulmateship.

and now imagine the drama.

the description that i wrote down is basically just this LMAO

but the au itself is about high school!kyman who started dating one day, which was absolutely unexpected, new and confusing for them, so they’ve decided to keep it a secret from everyone for a while, so as not to get negative reaction from their friends. they were trying to think of a proper way to tell other people the news (it was mostly kyle though, because cartman didn’t really care what others would say), and while they still haven’t come up with anything good, they just kept fighting and “hating” each other so others wouldn’t suspect anything unusual (which, honestly, wasn’t really difficult considering that kyle still hated cartman’s bigoted and terrible behaviour).

and they genuinely thought they were doing just great, but literally everyone understood something changed between them after, like, a week or two of their fake rivalry. because kyle is now waaay too slow and hesitant when he has to answer familiar “stfu cartman” when cartman starts pushing his buttons. and eric himself acts strangely protective and defensive when butters supports him in insulting kyle. he goes like:

cartman: Haha, you suck, Kahl!

butters: Hahaha yes, you tell him, Eric!!!

cartman, looking ansolutely insulted: Butters, shut the hell up, what the fuck, man, that was totally unnecessary, who even gave you the right to insult him with me.

butters: But that’s what i usually do…

cartman: Well no you don’t anymore.

butters, confused af: Uh, fine, Eric… So, you don’t hate Kyle anymore?

cartman: What? Pffft, sure I do, he’s a sneaky no good jew.

and then after, like, almost a month, when they are both absolutely sick of hiding and pretending, they finally want to come out to their friends.

kyle: So, basically, I, um… we are kind of together now.

kenny: (Oh. Yeah, we know.)

kyle: What? What do you mean you know?

stan: Well, it was kinda obvious, guys.

cartman: How the hell could me dating fucking Kahl be obvious?

stan: Dude, you were hanging out together any time you were given a chance.

kyle: No, we weren’t–

stan: “Sorry, Stan, the teacher said I have to do this project with Cartman, can’t do anything about it”. Seriously, dude? You would stare at his neck licking your lips, like, at least once a day. Fucking disgusting. Me and Kenny were betting on how long it would take you to finally come out.

kyle: What?! And you didn’t tell anything??

stan: Come on, Kyle, I swear to god, I saw you laughing and smiling when he called you gay while you were arguing. It was too funny to watch without interfering.

kenny: (Yeah, you were smiling almost every time he started insulting you.)

cartman: Ha! Told ya your acting skills suck!

kyle: You suck!

cartman, shrugging: Wow, dude, we just came out, don’t you go spreading all our love life details yet.

kenny, laughing loudly: (That was a good one, bro!)

kyle, blushing and fighting the urge to break cartman’s neck: Don’t give them wrong image of our rela… our thing, you fat asshole.

cartman, smirking: Yep, that’s exactly what you called me last night.

stan, trying to hide a smile: Gross, dudes.

kyle: It’s– I– UGH just– Just… fuck you, guys.

kenny: (All of us? You’d better save that for Cartman ;))

and they would NEVER shut up with this kind of jokes.

i understood i have a huge fucking hyperfixation on kyman when today while i was thinking about a kyman au in the shower i realised that i’m about to have a panic attack so i got out of the shower as quickly as possible to write down a short description of this au so i don’t forget it and then i just continued crying and shaking

this might seem like a little unusual brotp but has anyone else thought about tweek and cartman’s possible friendship? i have no idea how exactly i came up with this, but i, personally, as a very (and i mean it) anxious person noticed that although i try to avoid every possible dangerous situation, i still like these chaotic people whose life is a complete mess because i feel more, uh, alive around them? and it just seems like something that tweek would like to do?

he tends to try to overcome his fears by facing them so being close to someone like cartman is a great way for this. i mean, can you really still be afraid of other people when you’re friends with someone as fucked up as eric cartman?

tweek is kinda afraid of this chaotic and terrifying lifestyle that cartman has, but then he keeps getting involved in dangerous shit that cartman usually does, and eric always finds a way out of every hopeless situation with minimum harm, and it helps tweek to deal with less life-threatening things.

he goes like “Yesterday Cartman took me with him to rob a bank and I had to bail him out of jail and then the building exploded ‘cuz he had made a fucking bomb while being behind bars. Do you really think I can be nervous because of an exam? Bold of you to assume anything can possibly scare me now.” (c) tweek tweak ig

they also have this constant funny banter like “jeez tweek go take your meds already” – “you take your meds!!!” and it’s so extremely hilarious like literally NO ONE understands how it is possible for them to be friends

it has become my tradition to mix my new fandom obsession with kyman so now. just imagine them in the concept of milgram. with cartman (and other nine people) as a prisoner who committed murders and kyle as a guard who has to decide if the prisoners’ sins deserve forgiveness or punishment.

and imagine the slowburn when kyle first sees cartman who’s being way too arrogant and rude so he gets voted as guilty without hesitation. and then there’s the second trial, and kyle gets to know more about cartman, and now he’s torn apart by his sense of justice that wants to vote cartman guilty and his hidden feelings that scream about innocence.

and, well, i don’t know why, but this concept seems sooo fitting for kyman. the idea of justice, of forgiveness and punishment, of sins and misdeeds namnxjzkxnsk them

sorry for chaotic posting if someone’s interested (are there any milgram enjoyers….) i can create a whole au cuz im really into milgram rn,,,

butters wouldn’t understand the meaning of pride month at first and he’d start posting “i’m proud to be who i am!!” and “never hide your true self” messages, so his friends would be really surprised and asked him about his sexuality but he’d get really confused–

stan: Wow, we didn’t know you were gay, Butters. Congratulations on coming out, I guess?

cartman: Speak for yourself, Marsh, I totally knew he was into guys.

butters: Woah why, fellas? I’m not!

stan: But your posts on social media…

butters: Well, what’s wrong with them, Stan?

stan: It just says that you’re really proud to be yourself…

butters: Yeah, I am! It’s the pride month, after all.

stan: But this month is mostly about lgbt community, so…

butters: But why though? Can’t I be proud of being straight?

stan: It’s– not really– how it works–

so stan’d spend about ten minutes explaining to butters the meaning of the month, and butters would say “You sure know a lot about this, Stan!” so marsh would blush so hard and say something like “That’s just the stuff Wendy told me, you know…”

final plot twist neither of them are straight.

I have a headcanon that Kenny has a very loud laugh without his hood. He's the type of guy to actually wheeze, squeak and punch his knees when he's laughing

We know that he has a high-pitched, but very soft voice compared to others. Still, when he laughs in the show, we can clearly hear his laugh, even when he's in a huge crowd. His laugh is loud and shrill

So imagine this, but unhooded. The contrast between his soft voice and annoying (/pos!!) laughter. I like to think he'd sometimes surprise people like that :D

Kinda unrelated, but another headcanon: He unironically giggles when his friends show him memes. He'd type "JDDJJDHDRHDKFZHSHF" in reaspond to a funny meme, and he ACTUALLY laughs like that irl.

(shout out to the clip where he dies out of laughter lol)

OH MY GOD I NOW NEED A WHOLE FUCKING AU BECAUSE THIS IS A FAMILY

“that’s besides the point” I CANT EVEN BMMZKXJXKXXN IM ACTUALLY IN MY BED SHOUTING IN MY PILLOW RN BECAUSE THISSSS IS SO CANON I CAN ACTUALLY HEAR KYLE SAYING THAT.

and then kyle talks to kids, over and over again, gives them personal space, time to adjust, helps them with their homework and lets them see that he and yentl dont hate each other. and he celebrates each little win in a fight for their acceptance. istg one day he rushes into his and cartman’s bedroom to wake him up and shout victoriously “Moisha just asked me to help him with his Maths homework, and I did, and he smiled at me and said I’m pretty smart for such an annoying asshole!!”

and cartman who is still sleepy barely understandable asks “Moisha called you an annoying asshole?” and kyle smiles so widely and says “YES” and hugs him because he has never felt so happy for being insulted

kyle that actually tries to get along with cartman’s kids and suddenly feels extremely nostalgic because they act exactly like cartman in his childhood, and even if they are little monsters he still adores it, surprisingly for himself. meanwhile eric himself is trying his best to forget all those horrible things he did in his past because he feels so ashamed and now he absolutely refuses to admit that his kids might be pretty similar to how he was when he was ten.

one day kyle is watching kids playing in the front yard from the kitchen where cartman stands next to him and cooks them both a breakfast. they’re sitting in comforting silence, both still sleepy, with messy hair, wearing their pyjamas, and at one moment kyle sighs dreamily and mumbles something like “Wow, some things really don’t change, huh…”. eric just raises an eyebrow not quite understanding what that was about, so he says “Sorry?” and waits for elaboration. kyle chuckles and wordlessly nods in the kids direction. eric smiles, not even looking at them and says “Yeah, they’re such angels”, to which kyle only laughs and says “Dude, they’re more like little devils. I mean, they’re little copies of you in your childhood”. cartman immediately frowns and gets extremely defensive like “What the eff, Kyle, they’re not at all like I was. My kids would never be like that, I won’t let you disrespect them at my house”, and kyle just sits there with a smile looking at how kids outside are trying to burn an orange stuffed voodoo bear in a silly little green hat with a note “kyle” on him. cartman finally turns his head to see what they are up to, and then he barely holds laughter adding “Well, maybe there is just one similarity”.

@bloogers-boogers THANKS A LOT FOR YOUR HEADCANON I CANT STOP THINKING ABOUT KYLES INTERACTION WITH THE KIDS

I miss uuuuuu —totally bloog<3

OMGGG HEY!!!!! srry im kinda resting rn so i dont really use social media much BUT AWWW I REALLY MISSED INTERACTING WITH U TOO !!!! 🤲🤲

i think ima return to tumblr like in four days or so!!! cooking another kyman au rn >:]]

WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT SPECIAL AND WHY IT WAS SO KYMAN

ive heard the new sp special finally came out i am SO excited to watch it HOPE IT’LL GIVE ME SOME KYMAN FOOD PLEASE