Okay While We’re On The Subject: Cartman’s Skills For Languages Are Goddamn Amazing Like?? The Boy

They're warming up to him

the thing i like to headcanon for kyman is that they can always, no matter what, rely on each other. and they will be there for each other at worst moments ever possible.

when cartman’s mom goes to hospital in a very serious condition, the first and only person he tells about it personally is kyle – because he knows that despite their mutual hate and rivalry kyle will always be there when shit gets really bad. he won’t be just emotional support – he’s the one person to actually start helping and saving his friend in trouble, he’s the one to hug tightly and then slap cartman’s face so he doesn’t get too depressed.

and it’s mutual because kyle knows that even though it’s not the most logical choice, but once he gets in real trouble, cartman will be the first one he goes to. cartman will help to deal with the most fucked up situations and after he literally saves kyle’s ass, he will never shut up with stupid jokes and teasing kyle for getting in such stupid troublesome circumstances. and kyle will take both that and “you owe me now, kahl”, ‘cause he knows cartman will get serious again and help with anything in the future if anything else happens.

they can rely only on each other when things seem to be worse than ever.

heyyyy im pretty bored rn so please send me any random south park pairing or character and i’ll post some of my fav headcanons and my thoughts on them!!!

heyy i wanted to post here some of my Absolutely Random Headcanons on south park kids (non-shipping version) ;D ig it’s the part one or smth??

tweek is a theatre kid. after that fake break-up with craig he realised how he actually enjoyed pretending to be who he is not, and how he might’ve had a real natural talent for this thing. also he thought theatre was a great opportunity to overcome his fears and anxiety and be a little bit more self-confident, so he went to the school theatre club and signed up.

and it was probably the best decision he’s ever made. he knew he would like it but he had no idea it would be so much fun. although some kids at school tried to laugh at him for being gay AND liking theatre, he didn’t really care because being on stage, transforming into fictional characters, memorizing script was so great. and it was the only hobby he got really into – and believe me, due to his adhd he had plenty of hobbies. his most favourite part was definitely feeling hundreds of eyes looking at him – although most of the time owners of those eye were just bored to death students who were forced to go and see a school play. he liked it anyways, because it was such a big step forward for him – having a possibly dangerous and scaring situation totally under control.

also his biggest regret is that he can’t really sing due to his tics that make his voice sound trembling so he can’t participate in musicals, although he has a big soft spot for them. his whole playlist is basically songs from broadway musicals. he tried to force craig watch them with him but craig is really far from theatre – especially when it’s not tweek who’s on the stage.

by the way, clyde is in the theatre club with tweek because he heard that bebe and other girls like guys who are really into art so he was choosing between painting class and theatre club and chose the latter (‘cause tweek’s in it and he thought he didn’t have to put much effort in the club activity. poor innocent soul. if only he knew tweek goes absolutely wild when it comes to a perfect stage play).

that was a reallyyyyy long hiatus of mine. all i have is kyman styff sooo. :d

some panderverse some memes some other weird things sorry guys

very anonymously requesting benrietta

BENRIETTA MY BELOVED. literally one of my absolutely fav wlw in the whole sp.

• okay, this is a “mutual jealousy” type of relationship. while henrietta believes that everything is so easy for bebe, considering she’s admittedly pretty, smart and popular, and people will like her no matter what she does, bebe actually is envious of how henrietta can just not give a single shit about what others think of her, and she can allow herself to express her individuality.

• they both think the other lives better until they finally talk – pretty passively aggressive at first, i must say – and slowly realise that both of their lives aren’t so good and easy after all. like, bebe can’t just think of herself as something more than just a pretty girl, and most boys she’s dated didn’t really care about her personality. she has to always be beautiful and smiling or else she’ll lose her value. at the same time henrietta is often called a freak, she hears gossips behind her back, she knows her family is disappointed in her – and it all hurts, no matter how hard she tries to hide it. hell, even being a goth requires fitting into special “norms”, so she can’t just express herself as much as she’d like to. and when they finally talk about it, it feels like they found a goddamn soulmate, because mo one else ever was so sympathetic with them.

• bebe has pretty strict parents who care a lot about their reputation, and one day she gets so sick of their endless nagging about her appearance and grades and college and other stuff, that she tells about it to henrietta. the goth girl shrugs and suggests her to run away, and bebe can’t believe it the first second. eventually she agrees, and they take henrietta’s mom’s car and just… drive away from south park for a day or too, and bebe for the first time in her life feels free.

• their first kiss was pretty random. it was in the car, bebe was watching henrietta smoking and then she casually said that she always wondered how it feels to kiss a boy who smokes. henrietta remains silent, letting out smoke, then looks at bebe in surprise and bends down, softly kissing her. when she finishes she says “Yeah, I’m not a boy, but I don’t think it matters so much. So how does it feel?” and bebe just sits there absolutely shocked and that’s the first time she realises she might have had feelings for henrietta this whole time.

• also now imagine black is not henrietta’s natural hair color, and bebe spends two hours, dyeing her hair. <3

• and finally a little addition about my fav close brosist4 for them – bebe+henrietta+stan+tweek. i won’t elaborate but they are friendship goals.

i am absolutely addicted to making crossovers between my current fandoms and south park

So me and Vita were discussing our favorite superhero designs in TFBW, and I kinda summarized why I think Mysterion's design is so genius :D

First of all, the role of his design is different from others' – meanwhile you can judge other TFBW designs by how much they fit their characters, it won't work with Mysterion. It's the opposite!

His design is so great by how much he differs from Kenny. To put it more figuratively – its so great by how much it doesn't fit Kenny.

Despite the fact that by 14th season we already know that Mysterion is Kenny, it is his design that allows us still feel the mysterious edgy vibe.

We all know that he was first introduced way before it was revealed that Mysterion is Kenny. And yes, because of the fact how different is Mysterion from Kenny's "vibe", his identity remained a mystery for the viewers too. Also! At the first Raccoon episode (S13E2), it's pretty obvious that Raccoon and Mysterion were conceived as opposites. And it works with their designs too :D Raccoons design is very obvious to the viewer, and I don't mean the look, I mean the appeal – Cartman is Cartman, he doesn't hide his identity (I mean, he's bad at hiding it lol). When Mysterion...Is quite literally the opposite! This is probably more thoughts than actual facts, but I find this parallel soooo cool, and the fact that Raccoon and Mysterion parallel each other in everything.

Summary: I can't say that Mysterion's design is very visually memorable or pretty, but it's the best design at accomplishing its role.

(I love Mysterion sm.......🖤)

okay so since the Cupid Ye was aired i’ve been constantly thinking about cartman’s mental condition. we know he’s probably taking medication now, so i hc him having antisocial personality disorder and bipolar disorder. and i’ve been imagining him having his depression episode for the first time after he was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. he’s not used to it, he has no idea what’s going on and why he suddenly feels so tired and numb all the time, so he just stays at home skipping school and avoiding social contacts. he’s scared and the “it’s all because of your illness, poopsikins!” from his mother doesn’t help at all.

and sooo i wrote a short moment about this?? i’m sorry for any mistakes because it was originally written in my native language, not in english :(

***

Ever since early childhood it was clear and obvious to everyone that Eric Cartman had problems. Not even like that, Kyle corrected himself in his thoughts. Eric Cartman had Problems. Sociopathy, sadism, aggression – all that a person could notice in Cartman after only half an hour of communication.

And Kyle wasn't too surprised when bipolar disorder was added to all of the above in a sloppy psychiatrist’s handwriting.

By the time Cartman was finally diagnosed he had already gone through several phases of mania. Kyle even did a little research on the disorder. "To know what to prepare for the next time I meet this psycho," he told Stan. "And to know how to help him if necessary," he added silently to himself.

By the age of fifteen, Stan's company was already used to Cartman's regular explosive mood swings, which were accompanied by crazy ideas, aggressive behavior, and, if absolutely unlucky, deaths of a couple or more people.

It was typical: after a short break, Cartman would burst into Kyle's room (often through the window), start showering him with business plans, startup ideas, and opportunities to have extreme fun. Kyle was silent, trying his best to ignore him and frowning irritably when Cartman smiled ecstatically and rushed to Kyle, tugging at his sleeve and almost shouting that everything would be better this time and that it’s a one hundred percent successful scheme.

For some time Broflovski genuinely believed that everyone in their friends group was going through such tortures, but after a short questioning, he found out that they had not seen Eric's mania with their own eyes. Kyle understood — and they won’t, when Cartman just chuckled at the outraged "What the fuck, Fatass?" and replied, "I guess you're just special, Kahl. They wouldn't understand." His eyes flashed especially maliciously, and Kyle looked away hastily so as not to give Cartman the opportunity to start another fight.

Well, all in all, no one's world collapsed when Cartman was diagnosed with a new mental illness. Over the past months of insane hallucinations and obsessive intrusive thoughts, he managed to make everyone sick of him. He refused to go to the therapy sessions for a long time, shouting, running away and trying to get into a fight, and Liane was too afraid to find out another unpleasant truth about her son, preferring to go with the flow and shut him up with the fulfillment of every single of his whims. Kyle doubts that anyone would have done anything to help Cartman if he hadn't intervened. Why – it was unclear to Broflovski himself, but Cartman's first depressive phase hit them both unexpectedly too hard.

Disappearing from everyone’s sight for two weeks, Cartman ignored calls and messages (although Kyle had a serious doubt that anyone other than Butters and Broflovski himself texted him) and skipped school despite Mr. Harrison's threats of expulsion.

Liane avoided answering questions, pursing her lips in frustration and talking her way out with a trivial "He's sick." Kyle didn't believe a damn second, knowing that if Cartman was sick, Kyle would have known about it the very first. Something was wrong. For some reason, the desire to find out what exactly was much stronger than it should have been when it came to Eric Cartman.

***

Perhaps Kyle really shouldn't have worried so much — not to the point of climbing into Eric's window at night. But the Cartmans hadn't opened the front door all day, and by that time Kyle's nerves were so stretched that they threatened to break if he didn't get answers to his questions in the next few minutes. Disturbing thoughts and images of possible turn of events appeared in his head. Perhaps Cartman was dead? Or, on the contrary, has killed someone and had been dissolving dismembered body of his victim for two weeks? One option was no better than the other, but nothing was even close to what he saw in Eric's bedroom.

Haggard, seven kilograms thinner, with an unhealthy skin color and bags under his eyes, he looked painfully wrong, not Cartman-like. He didn’t look exactly ill — more like lifelessly tired. But that wasn't even what hit Kyle so hard.

He did not suspect how much had been hidden in Cartman's eyes before – lively fire, hatred, anger, enthusiasm, passion – all this was gone, dissolved, buried under this empty, dead, unblinking gaze. For a second Kyle even thought (hoped?) that he was really dead, but the heaving chest under the blanket and almost inaudible sound of breathing exposed life in Cartman. He was lying on his back, his head slowly turned towards the window. Kyle sought recognition on his face, but did not see a single shade of any emotions.

He froze in the window, making eye contact with Eric, feeling like he saw something he shouldn't have. He tried to revive the old familiar hatred that usually boiled in him as soon as their eyes met, but Cartman’s emptiness totally killed all the anger. Kyle climbed through the window – Cartman didn't react in any way, lazily closing his eyes – and walked up to the bed, touching his shoulder timidly.

“Hey, Cartman?” he said, shuddering at the way his voice echoed throughout the bedroom. Cartman didn’t open his eyes but smiled hardly visibly.

“Hey, jew”. His voice was empty and emotionless and Kyle pursed his lips with a bit of a pain.

“You need to see a doctor, Cartman”, he said firmly as Eric finally opened one eye disinterestedly. “I’ll help you. I promise”.

And he did.

honestly i think kyle always had a crush on cartman