I Love That Nearly The Entire User Base Of Tumblr Is Going To Stab 1 Man. Guys There’s Nothing Left

NOBODY FUCKING MOVE.

Reasons why Jon Archivist is truly a character of all time:

Had the police called on him several times when he was a young child

Keeps his rib and the ashes of the season one antagonist next to his stationary drawer

Promised he wouldn’t get lost in tunnels and then immediately got lost in aforementioned tunnels

Has no clue what a joke is

Learned how remarkably easy it is to buy an ax in central London

Had to have two separate interventions

Told people his place of employment before traumatising them for life

The first character he ever said ‘I love you’ to is a cat

Allegedly participated in amdram

Watches documentaries and collects some kind of weird shit (my headcanon is Soviet Union postcards) when he’s not being a paranoid mess

Canonically looks like he hasn’t slept in weeks

Knows nothing about library science

Fell head over heels for a man that he hated until he learned he lied on his resumé

Has been referred to as Jesus or Jesus-adjacent at least twice

Asexual icon

Knows what a meme is and said “LOL” in the first episode

Rode on a merry-go-round sometime during his university days because he was in a weird place emotionally

Died for our Jonathan Sins

Is probably a computer now playing minesweeper with his boyfriend and evil 200+ year old boss

Sam Winchester Whump | Supernatural THE HOLY BOOK (S1-S15)

1x01 Stabbed, car crash, pinned, emotional 1x02 Emotional 1x04 Insomnia 1x05 Eyes bleeding, guilt, pain 1x06 Knocked out TWICE, restrained TWICE, beaten, choked 1x07 Arm cut, thrown 1x09 Choked unconscious, pinned, emotional 1x10 Possessed, nose bleeding, punched x2, unconscious 1x14 Panic, painful visions x2, scared 1x15 Kidnapped, hunted 1x16 Clawed, bleeding, retrained, emotional, knocked down 1x17 Choked 1x18 Pinned, life drained (flashback and present) 1x19 Pinned aggressively 1x20 Choked 1x21 Painful visions, emotional 1x22 Tackled, beaten, weak, pinned, emotional, car crash

2x01 Car crash, panic, emotional 2x02 Emotional 2x03 Kidnapped, restrained, arm sliced 2x05 Painful visions x2, knocked down 2x09 Attacked, sliced, "infected," emotional 2x10 Punched multiple times, bleeding 2x11 Drunk/emotional, hungover 2x12 Bank hostage 2x13 Passes out????????????????? 2x14 Possessed, knocked out, burned 2x15 Mood swings 2x17 Clawed, heartbroken, emotional 2x21 Kidnapped, manipulated, spine stabbed, literally dies 2x22 Dead, acting weird, pinned, emotional

3x03 Cursed, trips, (25:05), knocked himself out, restrained, beaten, shot 3x07 Hunted, thrown, beaten 3x08 Sad childhood, choked, knocked out, restrained, sliced, fingernail taken, punched 3x09 Pinned, weak 3x10 Restrained & beaten 3x11 Mentally tortured, emotional 3x13 Missing, restrained, bleeding 3x14 Knocked unconscious, restrained, bloody wrists 3x15 Drugged unconscious, restrained, HIS EYE 3x16 Punched, emotional, betrayed, pinned, crying

4x02 Manhandled, beaten, pinned 4x03 (40:55+) 4x04 Punched x2, knocked unconscious, beaten, bleeding 4x07 Pain, beaten, choked, painful exorcism, nose bleeding 4x08 Struck by lightning, unconscious 4x09 Thrown, jumps from window, bleeding, flashbacks (grieving, beaten) 4x10 Choked 4x12 Restrained 4x13 Bullied childhood, nards kicked, punched, guilt 4x14 Neck bleeding, poisoned, Dean fistfight 4x15 Scared (40:40+) 4x18 Manipulated 4x19 Manipulated, knocked unconscious, sliced, bleeding out 4x20 Betrayed, trapped 4x21 Intense withdrawl, hallucinations (tortured, manipulated, emotional), seizures, restrained, angst, emotional pain (39:20+) 4x22 Manipulated, panic 5x01 Guilt, emotional, choking, (hated the whole episode) 5x02 Knocked unconscious, captured, guilt, scared 5x03 Guilt, manhandled, manipulated, scared 5x04 Possessed 5x05 Choked, knocked unconscious, restrained 5x06 Pinned 5x08 Nut "cracked" 5x09 Thrown, restrained 5x11 Manipulated, drunk, restrained, guilt/angry 5x12 Freaky friday, tranquilized, restrained 5x13 Stabbed, dies 5x14 Addicted, withdrawal 5x16 Killed 5x18 Thrown, hemorrhaging 5x19 Choked 5x21 Nausea, collapse, bleeding, tackled 5x22 Unconscious, possessed, scared, "dead"

6x03 Annoyed, acting strange 6x06 Acting strange, knocked unconscious, restrained, sliced, beaten unconscious 6x07 Restrained, bleeding, pain, diagnosed 'soulless', choked, 6x09 Beaten, bleeding 6x10 Biteas himself, bleeding 6x11 Worried, knocked unconscious (x2), leg scraped, bleeding, restrained, panic, pain 6x12 Emotional, guilt 6x13 Guilt, restrained, collapse, convulsing, Hell 6x14 Unconscious 6x17 Threatened 6x21 Knocked unconscious, dragged 6x22 Scared, comatose, (10:15), hunted, weak

7x01 Weak, (02:50), bloody nose, collapse, hand bleeding, hallucinating (Hell; hanged, manipulated torture), (23:50) 7x02 Hallucinating (choked, manipulated), freakout, hand pain, panic/confused, hand bleeding, knocked unconscious, head trauma, seizure 7x03 Unconscious (03:50), hallucinating, flashback (punched), punched 7x05 Pain, choked 7x06 Framed, interrogated, feels betrayed, angry 7x07 Angry 7x08 Missing, mind controlled/drugged, withdrawals, headache, knocked unconscious, restrained, choked 7x11 Choked, bitten unconscious x2, restrained, poisoned, weak 7x14 Clown phobia, scared as hell, punched x2, bleeding 7x15 Head hit, hallucinating (tortured) 7x16 Insomnia/torture, spacing out 7x17 Insomnia/torture, hit by a car, hospitalized, hallucinating, passes out, electrocuted, pain 7x18 Buzzed, knocked unconscious

8x01 Knocked down, arm sliced 8x03 Thrown, choked 8x06 Berated, beaten, bloody nose, heartbroken 8x08 Heartbroken 8x09 Manipulated, heartbroken 8x10 Angry, choked 8x11 Choked 8x12 Thrown 8x13 Poisoned, dying, unconscious 8x14 First trial, pain 8x15 Thrown, paralyzed 8x16 Coughing blood, thrown, pinned 8x17 Coughing blood, beaten, bloody noose, (23:25-24:20) 8x18 Knocked unconscious (38:20), restrained 8x19 Punched, arm sliced, thrown/pinned, second trial, pain 8x20 Exhausted, dizzy, punched, shoved, (33:40), punched x3 8x21 Tinnitis/resonating, delerious, fever, passes out, angry 8x22 Coughing, upset 8x23 Manipulated, emotional, crying, extreme pain

9x01 Comatose, dying, punched x3, manipulated, possessed 9x02 Beaten, knocked unconscious 9x03 Thrown, knocked unconscious x2 9x04 Passes out, mind controlled, knocked down 9x05 Sliced, seriously bleeding, knocked out 9x07 Pinned 9x08 Exhausted, thrown, unconscious, (38:00), confused 9x09 Concerned time skips, body held hostage 9x10 Hostage, knocked unconscious, restrained, probed/tortured, thrown, choked, weak, guilt 9x11 Grace extracted, extreme pain, reverting/dying, nose/eyes bleeding 9x12 Unconscious, restrained 9x13 Pinned, kicked, choked 9x14 Trapped 9x15 Tazed, restrained 9x16 Restrained, face/neck sliced, pinned 9x17 Punched to the ground x2, pain, choked 9x18 Angry (Gadreel) 9x19 Hit, blood drained, weak 9x23 Sobbing, greiving

10x01 Sling, knocked out, hostage 10x02 Tortured/beaten, pain, knocked unconscious 10x03 Manipulated, guilt, flashback (desperate), hunted 10x04 Choked x2, kicked down 10x06 Scared 10x07 Punched x2 10x08 Knocked down, weak, passes out 10x12 Thrown, weak 10x13 Tackled, choked 10x18 Choked 10x19 Manipulated, bleeding out, passing out, slapped, weak 10x20 Knocked unconscious, headbutted x2, punched 10x21 Scared 10x22 Guilt, desperate, thrown 10x23 Beaten by Dean, emotional

11x01 Hunted, infected, manhandled/choked 11x02 Infected, Hell flashbacks, dying, pain 11x03 Thrown 11x04 Bleeding 11x06 Choked, Hell flashbacks x2, collapse 11x07 Clown phobia, scared, choked, knocked unconscious 11x08 Guilt, glum, emotional 11x09 Manipulated, scared, trapped 11x10 Trapped, scared, manipulated, beaten 11x11 Insomnia, pinned, hand sliced, guilt 11x12 Hit x3 11x13 Pinned, cursed/choked 11x14 Pinned, threatened, extreme pain, collapses/unconscious 11x16 (27:10), Punched x2 11x17 Shot, extreme pain the whole episode, suffocated, "dead" 11x20 Collapse, pain, passes out, comforted 11x23 Shot (offscreen)

12x01 Shot, kidnapped, tortured (cold, burned, drugged/hallucinating), "dead", electroshocked x2, kicked, scared 12x02 Tortured (drugged, cut), bleeding, exhausted 12x03 Thrown 12x04 Knocked unconscious, trapped 12x05 Punched x2 12x06 Bruised, thrown 12x09 "Dead" 12x11 Painful tinnitus, bleeding, kidnapped, unconscious 12x12 Punch multiple times 12x18 Hit by sledgehammer x2 12x19 Thrown, knocked unconscious 12x20 Choked 12x22 Trapped underground, exhausted, suffocating

13x01 Knocked unconscious, manhandled, thrown, beaten 13x02 Choked 13x04 Therapy, emotional 13x05 Thrown 13x06 Thrown 13x07 Kicked, flashbanged 13x08 Punched, thrown, knocked unconscious 13x09 Punched 13x10 Knocked unconscious 13x11 Depressed, knocked unconscious, restrained 13x12 Choked, lucifer trauma, paralyzed, manhandled, choked 13x14 Burning alive (Jacks nightmare), attacked 13x15 Knocked unconscious 13x16 Slapped 13x17 Poisoned, passes out, weak, kidnapped 13x18 Attacked, thrown, choked 13x19 Passes out, restrained, pain 13x20 Choked, manhandled 13x21 Bit, bleeding out, collapse, dead, scared 13x23 Tinnitus, punched x2, missing, kicked, choked, pain, punched

14x01 Depressed, tired, thrown, manhandled, punched x3 14x03 Knocked down, 14x04 Knocked unconscious, halloween trauma 14x07 Worried, emotional 14x08 Emotional, grieving 14x09 Hit by bat, thrown, knocked unconscious, manhandled 14x10 Punched, pushed 14x11 Emotional pain 14x12 Emotional outburst, crying 14x13 Punched x3, emotional/daddy issues, choked, thrown, beaten, bleeding 14x14 Emotional, choking, blind, pain, tinnitus 14x15 Depressed, guilt, mind controlled, extreme pain, head almost explodes, emotional 14x17 Angry, guilt, beaten bloody, head trauma, dying, comforted, passes out 14x18 Emotional 14x20 Shot

15x01 Sliced, mysterious bullet pain, kicked multiple times, comforted 15x03 Crying, mourning/guilt 15x04 Demon Sam "nightmare", emotional 15x05 Lucifer Sam "nightmare", knocked unconscious, nightmare (beaten, choked, stabbed/killed) 15x06 Cursed, hemorrhaging, weak, kidnapped, stabbed (voodoo), extreme pain x2 15x07 Bullet pain, knocked unconscious, poisoned, dying 15x08 Kicked, choked 15x09 Restrained, bullet wound mangled, pain, manipulated (guilt, shot), (35:50), heartbroken 15x10 Unlucky, trips, sick, spicy pepper recovery, punched 15x12 Beaten 15x13 Thrown 15x14 Pinned, tortured (4 fingernails ripped off), thrown 15x16 Thrown, angry 15x17 Choked, punched, headbutted, emotional, crying 15x19 Beaten bloody, arm dislocated 15x20 Tackled, sobbing

Me when two characters are so obviously gay but are somehow not canon

this is one of my favorite reddit posts of all time

twitter doesn’t disappoint